Is 8 to ealy to have the "Bird and Bees" talk with ur daughter??

Kim - posted on 10/13/2010

I don't believe in lying to my children. So, if she brings it up, I would talk to her about it. Better her learn it from you than somewhere else. Of course, I would say something to my ex-mother-in-law (and I wouldn't be nice about it).

Amanda - posted on 09/21/2010

Better do it now before she comes home and says something about it or you get a phone call from the school stating that my daughter and some other girls were talking about sex in class and drawing disgusting pictues. The thing is we always kept that kind of stuff quiet and never said anything about sex to our kids. I didn't want my kids knowing about it untill they were older. Then she finds out with other kids and they are like going into graphic detail. I was very upset. But I realized that I needed to start earlier that way we don't have our kids comming home talking about it in such a manner.

Shirley - posted on 09/02/2010

I believe that you have to be honest with your kids when questions come up. My 8 yr old has started asking questions and if I am taken back...I just tell her I need to finish what ever it is I am doing so she can have my total attention. (Sometimes this gives me a chance to think) and then I answer her questions as she asks them. Recently we have had to deal with hair growth in her vaginal area and that was an interesting one. lol. I also purchased a book "What's going on with my body" so that when she asks those questions I can tell her. She has asked about babies but nothing too specific yet. If she asks I would say talk because if you don't someone else

Keishia - posted on 06/12/2010

No it is not! I have an 8 year old son and we have already started having it. For us its in phases. We listen to what he knows or thinks he knows and how he is currently reacting to girls. We found love notes from him to his "girlfriend" so we knew then we had to start "the talk".
I would suggest just talking with your daughter based on what she can handle. And personally if it were me and I wasn't comfortable with the book I would take it and tell her I will get it back to her when the time is right.

Amy - posted on 06/09/2010

Well I must admit my daughter is 9 and she yet has no idea what sex is now however if they ask questions I would answer them and not use''baby talk'' but put it into words they understand,Good Luck..

Jawaka - posted on 06/04/2010

I began the talk with my girls very early, but in bits and pieces from around the age of 4. The reason being, I want them to learn this information from me and not the kids on the playground. Some other children have knowledge from watching grown up movies, being allowed to sit with their parents and friends while they are talking, and alot of songs talk about...I beat all of them to the punch. My oldest daughter, will be 12 in August, has had the full talk about becoming a woman, sex and relationships. While my younger 2 girls, 8 & 9, have only had the talk on the changes of their bodies and self respect.
I personally think that the gift from the grandmother wasn't a horrible idea but she should have atleast forewarned you or asked how you felt about it. Now that your daughter has read it and is asking questions you need to answer them on her level.

Amanda - posted on 05/28/2010

here is another....ages 6-8 http://www.amazon.com/Where-Do-Babies-Co...

Amanda - posted on 05/28/2010

great video "where do babies come from" is very appropriate...and is on there level

http://videosift.com/video/Where-do-babi...

Tami - posted on 05/05/2010

I don't think it is too early. I have told my 8 year old daughter a little about sex. I haven't gone in depth about it. I just know I would rather have her hear these things form me than from kids at school.

Gail - posted on 05/04/2010

i cant believe her grandmother gave her this book without showin it to u first .. 8 is still a little young i have a book ready for jess when she starts askin me questions but i think 10 or over is soon enough to reach her the book i have a 15 year old boy an i bought him the facts of life i only gave it to him when he came to me an asked what woz happenin to his body i wanted to learn my children about respect for themselves first an respect for others .. your child has plenty of time to learn stuff but she is still a child we are in to big a hurry to learn our kids stuff tell her you will explain everythin when she is a little older an can understand it all but for now its time to play with her friends ..

Lisa - posted on 03/20/2010

at every age there is a stage of sex ed that I give my kids. First comes these are your privates, only mommy or a doctor while mommy is there may touch, nobody should be looking at them. be modest. boys and girls are different. etc. at 8 years old I teach that kissing is for family only (this is the age at which children get girlfriends or boyfriends at school, someone they like and may hold hands with). my nine year old told me that his friend watched South Park and told him how people have babies--sex--so I had him tell me then told him it wasn't right, it was like saying how you eat is by picking up food with your feet and putting it up your nose. I teach about boy making sperm and girls making eggs, and everything except the actual act of sex. but then I have four kids and on the last two my older ones were really curious as to how the babies would come out.. .
so you can either minimize the details or give so many details that its boring to them, either way, I think the only thing that needs to be left out is what a full grown male looks like and how sex is actually performed.

Bronwyn - posted on 03/18/2010

I feel that daugters should be made aware and also felt comfortable discussing these (very uncomfortable) issues with us. We not aware of there surroundings at school and i think it is best to have them educated. The kids are so advanced now it is scary.

Kristy - posted on 03/15/2010

Well I kinda had to...One day my daughter up and told me that she know waht a bj was in her own terms, because one of the girl, the same age told my daughter how she performed one on the bus one day... I was quite upset and pissed that my daughter found out... Yes I told the school about it...So I would say that it is fine to have small talks about it and let your daughter know that she can come to you about any questions and be ready because I know I wasn't so it didn't go over that well.

Holli - posted on 03/11/2010

We've always been pretty straightforward with our kids about what is what when they ask questions (we have 4). About 3months ago, I sat down with my 8yr old daughter and explained everything from periods & sex to molestation & rape and what each thing was, why it happened and how important it is to come to us. She asked a lot of questions, I answered them. She was actually very interested in it all and asked some very intelligent questions.
I know every child is different and that some understand things sooner than others. I think that if your daughter is asking questions, then answer them. If you don't feel totally comfortable with the subject, then only answer the questions she has at the time and when you feel a little more at ease with it, then go on from there.
Good luck!

Pamela - posted on 03/04/2010

My son is also 8 and has been very curious lately. I have gone with the idea if he asks a question I tell him you tell me, he will only ask what he wants to know the answer to. Just like when my 15 month old was born he asked how did she get out, and I asked him how does he think the baby gets out? He told me a special spot down there that only mommies have, and i said yep thats right and he was content with that. kids will usually only ask questions they think they know the answer to. Like someone else said you want her to know the truth, but at a level she is comfortable with. Good Luck! :)

LaRissa - posted on 03/02/2010

My daughter is also 8 and I found a drawing she made of me and her step-dad kissing naked and in a bubble cloud above us was a drawing of her baby brother! I asked her if she had seen this happen in real life and she said she saw a picture of sex in one of our baby books and that's how she figured Casey came to be. We didn't go into detail with her but we did answer her questions in a calm and relaxed manner and then went over how sex is for two grown ups who love each other very much, respect each others feelings and want to make a baby together. We talked to her about her private areas and how they are hers and hers alone and how no one has the right to look at them or touch them. She came away with her basic questions answered and no harm done. The way I thought about it was this - Did I really want her questions answered by one of her friends? It's better to let your child feel safe enough with you to be able to discuss anything with you without fear - especially as they get older.

Candice - posted on 02/11/2010

My mother was the one who had the talk with my 8 year old daughter. I answered any question that my daughter had and still has. She does not like talking about sex at all but I want her to hear it from my mother or I and not someone else.

Nichole - posted on 12/18/2009

If she's asking questions, answer them. I don't think I'd go to the extreme of a full-blown education with freaking visual aids!, but my own 8-yr old was "taught" by a neighbor's daughter regarding sex. I sat down with her 1 on 1 and asked what she knew, filled in some of the blanks in a responsible way. Honestly. I didn't lie and tell her that Moms have a flower and Dads have a seed or whatever junk our parents used to fool us with.:)

Actually, my parents NEVER had "the talk" with me. As far as they're concerned, I still don't know what sex is. : ) I didn't want that to happen with my daughter, but I also didn't want to broach the subject too early. By asking you questions, she's telling you she's old enough to understand. Sit down with her so that you can be honest about the values that you have, the many repercussions of irresponsible sex before one is ready, and whether it is important to you that she wait for marriage or at least a committed adult relationship.

This is maybe the most important conversation you will have to open the lines of communication at the beginning of the teen and "tween" years. And I agree with Heather, Grandma was out of line to just hand your child a sex education without consulting you. I'd be screening her gifts for a while.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/14/2009

Hi! My daughter asked for a book on the human body. I complied... and flipped through it together. She asked me what 'it' was etc.. and then she saw the growth of the baby inside the womb. I told her just the basics.. she seemed to be really ok with it. If she has a question, I'll answer it. Usually they don't ask a question they don't want to know the answer to!

Good Luck

Tara - posted on 12/03/2009

I understand that it is uncomfortable for many people to discuss intimate things with their children. I have always been open with my children. They have seen me nurse.

Children will ask questions. You keep the answer simple, and age-appropriate. If they are at more advanced understanding, they will ask you another question. You just keep it simple. They will let ya know when they are ready to know more.

I prefer to answer my children's questions. Its better they know the real information from me & what I want them to know at the time, then to go to someone else & ask and get the wrong information (say from a friend at school) or something they may not be ready to hear yet. You know your child best. It's not saying that my children will not talk to school friends, or others, about these things, but I always that it will help me & my children keep lines of communication open, knowing that they have always been able to ask me questions they weren't sure about.

Claire - posted on 11/06/2009

i think its a little early but then these days it seems its not too early im also stuck on when to do it do we wait whilst they ask us or do we tell them

Diana - posted on 11/05/2009

It is a sad day when children can't even be a kids and have to grow up so fast. Schools are introducing it at younger and younger ages. My sons school talked with them last year!! They said it was due to all the sex going on behind the scenes in our schools these days. The news is full of stories about kids getting teachers pregnant, oral sex going on in hallways, and rape on campus. Doesn't necesarilly mean my son was ready. I opted to have the talk at home and refused to sign the release form at school. He knew more than I thought, but he was still innocent enough to watch how I said things. Now he is confident in who he is, and what he wants ( to wait to have sex till he is much older). I didn't outright discourage him for having feelings for girls, just to respect his feelings till later. Grandma would have some answering to do if it were me. I know she probably meant well, but that is for you to introduce and explore with you child.

ALTHELIA - posted on 11/05/2009

yes give her da basic talk like dnt let boys see u allows have clowns on wen boys and men are around let u know if someone touches her dnt go to much in detail

Karen - posted on 09/12/2009

my daughter was 3 when she first asked me where babies come from, i told her a little story while we was on our way home and shes never asked again, just remember dont go into to much detail and let her tell you how much she knows

Patty - posted on 08/31/2009

This is something I've been wondering, too.....I think the sooner the better. You just don't have to be so graphic.....we're having a mother-daughter day this week and I'm going to ask her if she has any questions about things she doesn't understand. It's a scary time....what did you do?

Joelle - posted on 08/21/2009

It's never too early to start discussing sex. You just have to make sure that it's age appropriate discussion. Find out what she knows and go from there.

Janelle - posted on 08/12/2009

I figure it a layering process, that is a little bit of info at a time. Giving too much info too early (like in a book) could associate fears with sex as they only know what they know at such a young age and cannot decipher things from an older child or adults perspective. I certainly believe you should answer your childs questions at any age with a non lie age appropriate answer and maybe also "I will tell you more when you are a bit older" type response.

Gayle - posted on 07/07/2009

Sounds like Grannie has done quite a number on you. With girls having periods earlier I think 8 or 9 is a good age to start asking them what they know and correcting where appropriate. My daughter first asked about babies when she was 2 and I was pregnant with her brother. I explained in what I hoped was an age appropriate level and she's never asked again since. Maybe ask in school when this topic is going to be broached. When I was at school it was 11, but my sister had to sit down with her daughter of 9 to explain it before the school talk the next week.

Diane - posted on 07/06/2009

In my children's school district, they start sex ed in the fourth grade. I have decided that I would rather have the talk before they get it at school Unfortunately, it isn't like when we were little. Kids learn more earlier from other kids.

Christi - posted on 07/06/2009

This is funny I came across this post my son just turned 8 and I spelled s.e.x to a friend and he said eww mom that's a bad word. I asked him what it was and he yelled sex mom. So I said and what does that mean and my baby says it's you mommy your the female sex and I am the male sex. lol. I love my babies

Erika - posted on 04/10/2009

Since its been introduced, it's better you explain it than some little boy. Kids are having sex younger and younger. Our children need to have a clear understanding of sex from us, not someone else. Make sure you're approachable so she will feel like she can come to you with questions. She may just need to know the basics right now, but you'll see as you talk to her. Children are so impressionable, and they need us to lead them in the right direction while they're young. Good luck and God bless

Erika - posted on 04/08/2009

first of all you need to have a talk with grama if you didn't want her to have a book like that, thats kinda over steping boundaries. However the way things are these days I do think 8 is an ok age to start the talk, sad that it has to be that young! Just remember to keep it age appropriate and I wouldn't go into too much detail right now, and let her ask as many questions as she wants without being judgemental. I think starting young will help in the long run for you 2 to be able to talk when she really needs to.

Marie - posted on 04/05/2009

I have a 7 yr old son... he comes home from school and repeats what he has heard from other 7 yr olds........ I would rather he knew the truth and had respect for his and hers parts.... They need to know no one has the right to touch them, so why wouldn't you want them to understand??? The book maybe too advanced, but that's where you put it in terms an 8yr can deal with.

Joanna - posted on 03/17/2009

I don't think it's too early. I started telling my daughter from about age 4/5 whenever she asked questions. I prefer to just be matter-of-fact about these things.

Heather - posted on 03/14/2009

Hi there! I have a 7 year old son, and he informed me that he knew what sex was, so I asked him, and he was pretty close. I kind of let him tell me what he knew or thought that he knew, and I just corrected his wrong ideas. We didn't go into detail at all.



So I would say that you ask her what she knows. Go from there! It really wasn't as bad as I thought! He didn't know the nitty gritty details! He just knew that you take your clothes off and kiss. The worst part was when he asked if me and his dad do it.



Just keep it age appropriate, stick to the facts and don't let them make you uncomfortable. Another thing, I have a 5 year old daughter, and I think that it is crucial that we teach our girls self respect early!! I am going to make sure that she knows that it is a special moment that you don't do with everyone.



I think that it was rude that the grandmother would give her a book like that. She should have given it to you to read with her when the time was right!!



Good luck! Let me know how it goes!