My 9 year old refuses to brush her hair any suggestions?

Very - posted on 01/15/2013

I am a step-mom to a 12 year old girl who has absolutely no hygiene care what so ever. It's not that she was never taught, because she was, she refuses to brush her teeth and they are all yellow, refuses to use shampoo when showering, and simply flat out will not brush her hair, which is over halfway down her back, its so bad that the whole back of her head is in a huge knot, that will not brush out, my husband and I have forced her to seat in a chair to have had to cut out over 35 knots two different times. She throws temper tantrums when we tell her she is going to the hair dresser or getting it cut. this has been going on now for three years, and I am sick of it. She punches and hits her mother when she tries to get the knots out. her hair has begun falling out the past couple of times she has been with us, we told her that it would fall out more and more if she didnt start taking care of it. My husband said last year that hopefully when she hit puberty that she would take better care of herself, WRONG she is beginning to develop and I shudder to think what will happen when she gets her period. I said that we should just cut her hair off to her shoulders whether she wants us to or not, we kept it that short for two years and she cared for it easily and without having to harass her too. What is her problem? why is she so lazy? its embarassing to take her anywhere in public its that bad looking. is it wrong if we just cut it off ourselves whether she likes it or not?

Anita - posted on 06/06/2012

Try the Knot Genie it is a sanity savior for me!

www.knotgenie.com

Louise - posted on 02/28/2011

my daughter is the same at the moment, her hair is so fine it seams to go all ruggy alot. she goes mad if i say i'm going to brush it, most morning going to school she goes out like a bird has made a nest in her hair, i told her the kids are going to laugh but she just doesnt care at the moment. i think it just going to take time.

Crystal - posted on 02/18/2011

So im not the only one!!!!! My daughter did this for four months and in that time I told her that she had to check off the chart every time she brushed her hair and if she did not bad things would happen. I would then once a day remind her about her hair.

At the end of four months she might have had one day a week that she did it. In the mean time she got made of in school and was not happy about it. When it came time to get hair cuts next I took her in and the lady said she could not brush it she had to cut over 10 inches off (above the shoulder to just under the ears).

Morgan thought I would say no and freeked out when I said go for it. Needless to say she left that day with short hair and a will to brush it every day.

And before everyone gets mad I did tell her I would brush her hair for her but she thew a fit and would not let me touch her long hair at all. Now if she does not want or can't do it she askes.

Claire - posted on 11/26/2010

MY NINE YEAR OLD DID THIS AND I GOT HER A DETANGLER BRUSH FROM BOOTS IT WAS 6.99 BUT WELL WORTH IT NOW SHE DOES HER HAIR BEFORE SCHOOL AND OUTS IT UP . HOPE THIS HELPS

Gina - posted on 11/22/2010

I understand this one....she still won't brush her hair often walking around with dreadlocks. But I find if I use infusium after the shower and brush it it is better...she still screams and cries when I do it. But atleast it is over quicker good luck!

Tracy - posted on 11/17/2010

Find out why she doesn't want to do it. Like those already mentioned. Is it the brush? hair type? length? Once you find out why, you may be able to figure out how, such as the incentive chart.

SARAH - posted on 10/27/2010

Can she handle it herself? My hair was soooo thick & curly & frizzy that I couldn't take care of it myself until I was a lil older, my mother always just chopped it off so she didn't have to deal with it! Luckily my girl still listens (knock on wood) & will brush if I tell her to. Do an incentive program, set times during the day that if she brushes it & checks in with you to prove it she will earn something she really wants! but really at 9 she is still so young that if she has messy hair (as long as it isn't unsanitary) it should be no big deal & the teasing that is sure to come someday soon should get her moving into a regular routine of brushing!

Dawn - posted on 09/21/2010

I think it just depends on personality. I have triplets and one of them is always in the mirror, brushing her hair and admiring herself. The other 2 don't care about their appearance at all. I brush it in the mornings for school and tie it up, if its tangly and they complain, I just say its their fault, as they don't attempt to look after it. :)

JuLeah - posted on 09/05/2010

Maybe there is a logical reason, like the brush hurts her head or her hair is too tangled and it hurts

Maybe she knows this upsets you. If you ignore it, you might take the power out of it.

Maybe she just doesn't care. It's her head and if other kids mention it, she will have to deal with that

Is she happy? Does she have friends you like? Does she feel good about herself? Does she eat well, sleep well, do well in school? Is she excited about her future? Is she kind to self and others?

If yes, then hair is really no big deal