Jessica - posted on 08/13/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )
Hi! I'm Jess, and I have a husband, an 8 year old daughter Charlie, and an 18 month old daughter Mady. I stay at home and babysit my friends kids, so I'm pretty busy overall.
Anyway, I have a question about my oldest. Charlie is a wonderful, sweet, kind child when she wants to be (or wants something). My main point of contention with her is when she is in trouble. I can start out as sweet and nice (but firm) as I can be initially, but she will continually push my buttons until I do get mad. Or, she turns it around and acts as if *I* have done something to *her*, when I am trying to talk to her about the problem. MAJOR attitude, door slamming (it's coming off the hinges if she does it again), stomping, screaming, etc. I have tried maintaining my calm through it all, but it's really hard with her staring at me as if she wishes I were dead.
Here;s a quick sample:
Me: "Charlie, please don't do X, you know why that's (wrong, dangerous, irresponsible, you input reason here).
Charlie: "You're mad at me!!!!"
M: "No, I'm not, I just want you to X, and remember to not do it again please".
C:" You're MAD at me!".
M: "Charlie, please don't tell me that I'm mad, or that will make me mad. Please don't do it again".
C: "I hate you! You're the worst mom EVER!"
Can someone out sympathize, or offer advice on how to deal with this? We've tried consequences, time outs, taking away privileges, etc. I honestly want her to just take her medicine, and be done with it, but it seems like she wants to draw it our and play the martyr. Help!