has anyone had issues where your child has very low self esteem, how do you help them cope.

Scottica - posted on 09/06/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son has low self esteem. No matter what we do, the teachers, counclers do nothing seems to reach him. I think alot has to do with his disablilites. But they are not that severe. I know he has some difficulties understanding things like some of the other kids in his class. but he gives up sometimes without attempting. using the excuse i dont remember on alot of things. Even during video games he goes into a crying fit when he dies. other then him getting grounded with some things. a helpful reminder that he is not stupid, that he does know the matieral. but i am at a lost of idea.s

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Antoinette - posted on 09/09/2011

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My 5yr old boy is the same he lacks confidence in himself and his abilities, always putting himself down. He just started Kindergarten and in the space of 2wks I can see a big change in his demeanour, go over board with the praise, just to see that little smile again on his face brings a tear to my eye.

Kristina - posted on 05/09/2011

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have you tried sports? i was having issues with my daughter being very down on herself saying she was stupid and couldnt do anything right. when i started her with tball and soccer and basket ball she started to do better with everything else she has gotten more possitive about herself and the things she can do. that when there is something she has a hard time with we remind her of her accomplishments with everything else she said she couldnt do and she feels better and keeps trying. it took a couple of years but it is well worth the time spent with her and sports. this year at her first softball game she won the game ball and was extremly happy.
i wish you luck.

Scottica - posted on 09/06/2010

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whats sad is we try this aswell. between the playstation and his psp. When he builds something, etc.. even when he helps me cook. i try to give him alot of attention when he is doing those things.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/06/2010

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Try paying more attention to the activity eg. you really enjoy playing that game, don't you? It's fun to do that!! rather than focusing on whether he does it well or not. There is evedience to suggest that children who are doing an activity they enjoy will do better than children who are doing something for the grade/reward at the end. It certainly helped my kids when I started to do this (I hadn't realised how much I focused on their achievements and inadvertently told them they weren't good enough :( )

Scottica - posted on 09/06/2010

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Oh we do that. ALOT here at home and with all his teachers. He has so alot.. all is extra classes. plus he sees the school counsler. I make sure that i give him alot of encouragement ontop of giving his accomplishments attention.. We try and talk about what he can do to do it again or if he doesnt do a good job the first time we talk bout trying and not giving up! but he doesnt like to fail nor does he like it when others can do something and he cant.

Phyllis - posted on 09/06/2010

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One thing to do is to make sure to get excited over the little accomplishments. His craft projects, schoolwork, making it past a level on his game...whatever little things he shows you or the little gifts he gives ( the flower you wish he had not picked from your flower bed or the Mothers Day card from school etc) Make a big deal about them. High fives and hugs and lots of Wow! Good job!...I also make sure to praise the effort more than the outcome. ie) Wow! I bet you worked really hard on that! Good for you! or I bet you practiced a lot to learn that!
I see my kids confidence improve as time goes on. Sometimes I have to remind their father to make a deal of things, rather than his usual grunt for a reply...lol

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