To many an not blending very well?!?!?!

Alisha - posted on 01/19/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello, new here. I am a mother of 4 beautiful bright children. (8, 4, 16mos,) (an Devin who passed away at 2) I also have 2 step children (11, 8) 2 girls an 2 boys (living). My boyfriend an I have had our share of ups an downs. An more then our share when it comes to the kids an their 'other parents'. His ex is mean an hateful. She has convinced his children that our 16 month old son isn't their brother. That I don't love them or their Dad. They want nothing to do with my children or the baby. We live in a family neighbor hood, so his mom an sister live right here, when the kids all get together mine are left out. They tease an pick on them to the point my oldest son (who lives with his grandma) doesn't want to come over for weekend visits if the other kids are here. I have tried my best to accept an be accepted by his kids an so far nothing works. It always comes back to I'm not Mom. Which is fine with me. I don't want to take her place I just want my children an I to fit into the 'family'. I'm afraid if things don't get better we will have to seperate in order to deal with the kids an not hurt any of them. I'm very lost an don't know what to do. My children have all grown up very accepting an in very diverse situations. His however spent most their lives with Mom an Dad. They have been divorced almost 4 years, Mom has a boyfriend living with them an they are fine with that. Why are they not fine with every other weekend an holidays with us?
-Alisha

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Annette - posted on 02/06/2011

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Oh i know that feel all too well. Combined family as well. I have 2 boys from my first marriage and my boyfriend has 5 kids from his marriage. And we now have 1 of our own. 8 kids and all. The other kids mother hates me a lot and tells the kids that they dont have to listen to me and to never call me mommy. They know they have a sister but dont call her sister. They say thats Annette's baby even though they have the same dad. I try to spend time with them like one on one. That way they get to know me and the baby as well. Seems to help a little, but i am still in the working process too. My boyfriend is going threw a huge custody battle with his kids and the kids are having a hard time with everything. I just take it day by day and see where it leads me. I have lived with the kids for 2 years now and i still don't have much respect with them, but i hope in time i will if i never give up!

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