Baby Mama Drama!!!

Chelsie - posted on 11/10/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I need some advice! I have three beautiful step children but have to deal with two different baby mama's. Both of the mom's have a problem with calling me Mama or mom. I don't under stand why they get some upset when the kids call me mom. I know that they are the mother of those kid and I'm trying to take their place but I don't think that it's a big deal if they call me mom too! Can anyone related? What should I do?

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Mariah - posted on 12/10/2011

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I think you should stand your ground! The title "Mom" has nothing to do with DNA, and everything to do with the role you play in a child's life. It is only natural for a child to respond to someone who fills a mothering role by calling them Mom. BM's insecurities should never be made into the child's problem, especially with young children who just can't grasp the concepts at hand. You obviously earned the right to be thought of as a mother to those kids, so let them do what is comfortable for them and you. As they get older it can be a more open conversation and you can help them deal with and address their BM's reactions.

Christina - posted on 05/28/2011

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I'm in the same mix. The Biomom doesn't like that her child calls me Mommy Chris. But he is the youngest of the five kids that are living in our house (four are mine, the youngest is his.) And he lives with us one week on, one week off. My husband told her to get over it. My little guy chose to call me Mommy Chris. And I will NOT stop him.

Sue - posted on 11/14/2010

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understandable, have you tried to just have the kids around their BM call you by your name, less drama that way, and doesnt put the kids in the middle

Chelsie - posted on 11/13/2010

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Thank you Sue! I have left it up to the kids but I just dont like when the kids come over from there BMs and say their mom got bad at them because of it!

Sue - posted on 11/12/2010

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Hi Chelsie. Honestly I have always left it up to my step son. I know he has a mom and she gave birth to him and I would never try to take her place. He feels fine calling me Sue. There are times when he called me mom and that was fine also, He used to correct people when we would be out and they said he looks like his mom, meaning me, now he doesnt bat an eye at it. I think for the BMs they feel that since they gave birth they should be the only one being called mom. For some, they dont take offense to it, some do. I dont think there is ever a right or wrong answer to this but to just leave it up to the child. Hope it helped some.

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