I NEED HELP PLEASE!

Amy - posted on 04/17/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I need to know how all your kids acted when they were around 3? Mine has already been diagnosed. He is a total terror. They ofcourse wont put him on anything yet...but, please will you guys tell me how your kids acted if you had any at this age with adhd?! I'm so stressed.. I guess I need some feedback to deal with all this stress. And to know that possibly just maybe others have or are going through it also.

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Jackie - posted on 04/19/2009

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Does he sleep? Sleep and activity are key. If he is a sleeper then try daily activity...like playgroud time, swimming lessons, something to channel the energy. Without it he will climb the walls and so will you.

Have you considered diet? Limiting things like red dye etc. My sister's 3 year old goes nuts with red anything.

Put your self in time out...have your husband and of close family or friend watch him for a coupleof hours at least once per week.

Leslie - posted on 04/18/2009

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my oldest was very active even at 19 months. he was a great baby and toddler just active and always on the move. he did everything early and his diagnosis was harder to find because he could sit still in class but couldn't stay focused. my youngest son on the other hand is a talker and a mover. he too did everything early only he can't seem to stay in his seat in class or stop talking. at that age you need to stay consistent with any disaplinary actions you take. positive reenforcement is best...gold stars for good behavior, behavior modifications such as this take a little time but they helped my son since not only did i but also his teacher were doing the same thing.

Pauline - posted on 04/18/2009

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Hi, my daughter was diagnosed early, but was not put onto medication until 51/2 about half way through her second year of school. She was an angel until about 2 and I thought she was going through the terrible 2's. she was going to daycare 2 mornings a week as being an only child I felt she needed the interaction with other children. The staff at daycare were having problems with her tantrums and behaviour. They had someone from a Government (medical/social) Department coming to observe another child and asked if I would like her to observe Aimee as well. It was picked up that there was a problem (my youngest brother is adhd also, so I had already had some dealings with this condition). We did a food and behaviour diary for 3 months and found that she was not any worse or better for what she was eating and that it was more of a medical problem. I managed to get Aimee into the local Child Development Clinic and the both of us had behavioural counselling for about 3 years. Aimee on how to learn to share and react appropriately when things were not going her way and Me on how to react or not react to her behaviour, ie do not shout, because we both start to become louder and louder and angrier and angrier - when to ignore certain behaviour, do not sweat the little things. She had got to the stage where she was starting to become violent towards me. Once we were having tea at Macca's, she did not want to leave, i was trying to get her in the car and she is screaming i don't want to go, leave me alone, while bracing her feet on the car so i could not get her in. not one person stopped to see if the child was alright. another time at the beach, I sat for 1/2 hour holding her gently but firmly to my body while she screamed and cried and thrashed around because she wanted to get in the water again. She is now ten. Definately no more tantrums, she knows she is allowed to be angry, sad, happy, excited, but there are propers ways to display these emotions physically. School wise, even with medication, if she doesn't want to do something it is hard to get her to concentrate, and she has had a couple of detentions for doing silly things, but she is by no means the worst child in the class and her school work is up from being in the lowest 5% to at least middle of the road. You need to have a lot of patience and keep everything very routine and really try to be consistant with rules - at least then they know where they stand. We had a lot of bribery and corruption - especially with her favourite things, like TV. We had star charts and time out corners, even if it started off at only 30 seconds or a minute and built from there. Although the longer she could not sit still the longer she had to stay there. When she was little it was even a very slow count to 10 on my park. Eventually it worked - but it is a very slow process and very hard work. In a way I was lucky, being a single Mum, all the rules were mine and I did not have someone else yelling at me to 'shut that child up' and similar things - especially when a tantrum is going for so long. In public I just let her go too - and ignored all the stares and comments. Now the staff at the local shop tell me what a wonderfully behaved child my daughter is. PS all doors to the outside world were key locked from the inside - she was never let out of the pram until she could be truested ( i had one time she took off from me in the shops - she was gone for 30 minutes - a security guard found her at the otherside of the shopping centre, looking in windows) that certainly never happened again - I put up with screaming rather than lose her again and she soon learnt. I could go on and on and on - but eventually with persistance and understanding there is light at the end of the tunnel and it is well worth all the hassle and heartache and such a delight to see your child growing up to be a worthwhile person. She can even be trusted to walk to school and back with particular friends. I wish you all the luck in the world, but it will be your hard work that will win the day. Best wishes Pauline

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