Adoption Loss in open adoptions

Gidgit - posted on 02/19/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am just wondering if any family with open adoptions still experience issues with loss. I realize our adopted children are loosing apart of thier families when they are adopted.

Our daughter is losing her birthfather's family eventhough none of us know who he is. I know what there will come a day when she asks about him and neither hubby and I nor her BM know who this person is. The BM is my sister so she is still living in her biological family maternally anyway.

I have a long time before I have to address this issue but I was wondering how others have addressed it in thier families. Thanks!

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Gidgit - posted on 02/26/2010

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Thank you ladies! It is good to know that there are other mom's in my shoes!

Becky-- I admire that you teach and encourage your children to pray for their BM!
My daughter will know her bio-mom and be part of her life as she is my sister. But I praise God for mom's like you!

Cathy--I think that is a wonderful idea! I'm going to discuss that with our BM !

Cathy - posted on 02/23/2010

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I adopted a little girl as well and the BM does not know who the father is. I told the BM that when my daughter is old enough that she should be the person to explain that I know it was one night stand and I am not going to tell that to my daughter, So, when the time comes the BM understands that she will need to explain that, and she agree's.and wants to.
I should not be the one that explains that, I was not there... Don't worry you have time and so do I My baby is turning 1 in march. Good luck and keep in touch God Bless

Becky - posted on 02/21/2010

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My children are all adopted, and all siblings. It is a closed adoption and I have never officially met the bio-parents (just saw them through a 1-way window). The older kiddos have memories of their biological family, both good and bad. They ALL ask questions, and tell stories. Sometimes they cry; other times they laugh. I mostly listen, sometimes ask questions, but always encourage them to express whatever feelings they have, and reaffirm that its okay to HAVE feelings (both good and bad) towards these family members. We pray for them, especially their bio-mom. Pray that she is safe, healthy, and getting her life together so she CAN be apart of our lives "one day", whether that day is next year, or in 30 years. Most of all, I encourage the kids to forgive her.



I don't have a clue what our future will hold, and can only love the kids and pray they grow up healthy physically and emotionally! I do whatever I can to make that our reality.



Good luck -- just love your little girl, and trust God to guide your steps.

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