Adoptive Families Misses You!

Amy - posted on 12/06/2010 ( 60 moms have responded )

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We are a large group here on Circle of Moms and we have potential to be a great resource for each other! I've posted a couple of topics to get us started, but I'd love for members to come back, introduce yourself and explain your link to adoption. Looking forward to reading about you!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Janet - posted on 03/09/2011

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My name is Janet. My husband and I were lucky enough to be able to adopt our little boy locally. A mutual friend of ours and the birth grandparents put us in contact. We met our son at 3 1/2mos and by July the birth grandparents and told us to go ahead and take him home. It was 2 days before his first birthday that we received the official papers that he was legally our boy. We have a great relationship with the birthgrandparents. As they live close he is able to see them too. It was an interesting journey to get to him. But I believe the way it happen was for a reason. Just wanted to stay "hi!"

Elizabeth - posted on 01/16/2011

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I don't know what to post. I am not active online, since I have limited time with being a mom 24/7 to an infant and a toddler, as well as working full-time.

The only advice to the group, based on adopted adults I know, is to never identify your child as my adopted son or my adopted daughter. This seperation creates a sense of not belonging and not being part of the family. My mother, tends to do this in public. Due to her own limitations (and being set in her ways) it is hard for her to understand the need to change the way she identifies the children to strangers. I imagine, all I can do, other than ask her to speak of her grandchildren differently, is to help my daughter understand why her grandmother says it, and that she is her grandmother's special little girl, always.

We have a daughter and a son, and our daughter has a biological mother. My daughter is 16 months, running around, potty-training, dancing and babbling up a storm. She has a great fierce independent streak, which occaisionally leads to tantrums. Overall, she is a blessing and a joy.

Dawn - posted on 12/31/2010

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My husband and I have an open adoption with our birth parents and send them emails every month with photos and updates.
Our Tabetha was born at 28 weeks (12 weeks early) and after BM and Dad surrendered rights( 60 hours after the birth) we became her parents. We spent 8 weeks with her in NICU before bringing her home on March 23, 2010.We finalized our adoption in August of 2010. She is such a blessing and we could not be more thrilled with her.
We plan to adopt again hopefully within the next few years. We found a great agency and a fantasitic social worker that we love who made everything MUCH easier!!

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Delilah - posted on 03/17/2014

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My name is Delilah Stringfellow and I have custody of my 3year old grandbaby.I have had her for over 2years.bio dad's name is not on birth certificate and he is in prison for 20years.my daughter is her mom and wants me to adopt the baby do I need a lawyer to adopt her or can this be done in the judges chambers?.

Laurie - posted on 12/18/2013

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Since two year back when we planned for adopting kid, we had a lot of dilemma in our mind in terms of how the adopted child would react to a new environment at our home. But I would say, that was the best decision that me and my husband had made past two years. We are all so happy with our kid, I wont call him adopted anymore as he is the best part of our lives. I would suggest other people too to go and adopt a child.

Chile Adoptions Support NZ Parents. - posted on 07/01/2013

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I agree with this person what she has explained below.... Thus glad we never had biological kids. as there is only one way for us the adoption way.

And really children are beings in their own right and they belong where they are treated with same respect and feel the most happiest, thus be careful not to un be knowingly set up barriers with any children you adopt and comparing them with biological kids, all are unique no matter how they came to you.


One sure way of setting up unnecessary issues is to point to the obvious difference, the biggest and most important thing is that children feel safe and Loved in all ways in a unconditional way.

We had some one also what happened to our sons parents, this was strange to ask me "as we are now his parents and very real ones to 24/7 and always will be in his eyes :) he calls me by my name his Mum and we our Son , simple and thats whats most important in the now.

( thus others can try to make you feel you are not their parents just by the obvious out side exterior ( but inside is what counts, connection and the bond), you are definitely not their baby sitters, as the children do/ did not come with Plan B when they came with you , you accepted them as they are and intended them to be to you, your Children, um.

and trust yourself that you are not answerable to satisfy others curiosity, ( often just nosey)

So to some people asking they may know no different got that, but well after 4 years now having our son it seems we have had him our whole lifetime, and his memories are in the now "his own future will define his future not his past as he continues to Thrive.

thus we have never felt to be answerable to strangers Qs of such a personal nature, as simply NTB( not their Business) but we are simply as proud as any for having the privileged of "being" parents", while our son is simply been happy with the business of been all a boy can be :) it comes freely from him how much he loves us as his parents. and we to love him as much and more back.

Oh and we are as Open as what is appropriate for our own child to where he may be at, and if he feels to want to know, in the end he is very happy now and thats all that counts.



Amy Callahan - posted on 12/14/2010

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Hi Shannon, Nice to meet you! Since you are just starting your journey, I'll jump in with just a hint of education, so hopefully I can spare you getting it from the social worker. Referring to biological kids as "your own" is a big no-no. It infers that adopted kids are not "your own"

Danelle - posted on 10/08/2012

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Hi! My name's Danelle. As far as my link to adoption, we just started the international adoption process back at the end of April. Currently all of our dossier is with Ukrainian government and we are waiting to be invited over. I have one biological child, Benjamin, who's 12 and thrilled at the idea of having a sibling. He even wrote an adoption story about it that we posted on YouTube, here's the link:

For anyone interested in our story, I began blogging about the roller coaster of our adoption journey at

http://snapshotsfromourjourney.blogspot....

We are going to adopt a girl or boy between the ages of 7-12.

Sharon - posted on 10/08/2012

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Beware if you are thinking of adopting older children. Please learn what charges you will face if the children end up being more than you can handle. After being a foster parent for several years we decided to adopt a sibling group of 3 children. We were told they had ADHD which was no problem. The children have severe issues and the stress of their behaviors is taking its toll on me mentally and physically, mom Dr says you need to take care of the stress before you have a heart attack or mental break down and I find out that if I have the children removed I will face a class C Felony for each child and will face 2-8 years in prison per child. All because we love these kids and wanted to make a difference in their lives. Now we live in fear for our lives and the lives of our other adopted children. Dcs did not disclose all of the back ground info on these children because they needed to get them off of their books. Now I have to make a decision of either facing prison or risking a heart attack or mental break down. Which no matter which happens it leaves my other children with out a mother ALL BECAUSE WE TRIED TO MAKE DIFFERENCE AND LOVE CHILDREN THAT HAD NO PARENTS. So please make sure you know what you are getting and what happens if it is more than you can handle. No one should have to worry if they will be killed in their sleep by their child.

Danelle - posted on 10/05/2012

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Greetings & Salutations (to quote Charlotte from Charlotte's Web).

I'm the mother of one biological child, Benjamin, who's 12. Our family is currently involved in the international adoption process. We started this journey back in May and we are now waiting for an invite from the country (Ukraine) we hope to adopt from. We started our blog around the same time we started the adoption process and have been writing about the roller coaster ride that adoption is. Here's a link:

http://snapshotsfromourjourney.blogspot....



Danelle

Tiffany - posted on 07/20/2012

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Hello
My name is Tiffany we adopted our first son from Uganda and have ine bio daughter . We where in process to adopted agian and had our homstudy almost complete when we got approached by my cousin who was in process to put her baby Up for adoption and asked if we would adopt . So not the road we planned but so happy we are able to help keep baby in family . Of course it is a Open adoption . Should be an interest ride :) baby is due Oct 2012 . Hope some other kinship or open adoption peeps are our out there :)

Marci - posted on 07/18/2012

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After 5 years of struggling with infertility, my husband and I decided to adopt. We completed the MAPP classes through the state of FL and soon after had 3 birth moms privately ask us to adopt their babies. Unfortunately, the first one changed her mind an hour before giving birth so we lost that little girl, but we were blessed with two precious boys that are now 11 and 10, and then we also were blessed with 3 biological children after 8 years of infertility. Adoption is an amazing process and I can tell you, having both adopted and biological children, the love is no different! Can't imagine my life without any of them!!!!
www.marcishirley.com

Tina - posted on 05/11/2012

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Hello! I'n Tina,
I'm a kinship/relative mom. We already had 3 bio kids, youngest being 7. When my oldest had her son taken away by the state for medical neglect. He was just about to turn 6 months. To make a long story short. We ended up adopting him n it became final when he was 2.

Patricia - posted on 05/08/2012

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Thank u, i was lookn for a site about adoption, i struggle everyday with the adoption of my grandson, as i am also on my own and support would be great!

Medic - posted on 05/05/2012

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I was adopted through Lutheran Social Services, have an amazing open adoption and my son is half adopted. We have a daughter and are looking into adopting older sibling groups when our kids get a bit older.

7rin- really you have to crash everyone's posts? Adoption will never be stopped. It is not abandonment if there is a family to take them. Sometimes the child not being with the bio parents is the safest option for the child.

7rin - posted on 04/10/2012

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Abandoned to adoption at 7 months.



Fighting now to get adoption aborted, as it should be. Also, anyone abandoning a child to adoption should be jailed for child abandonment.

Stephanie - posted on 01/28/2012

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Hello All,



I am Stephi. I lost the ability to have biological children at a very early age. Adoption has always been the way I knew we would grow our family. The journey was long, and sometimes painful, but it was so worth it! I am delighted to say that my husband and I finalized the domestic adoption of our son in November 2011. Our son just turned a year old in January (2012). He is the center of our world, and such a happy, smiley little guy!



We met his bio-mom prior to his birth and would have taken him home from the hospital. But he was born with life threatening conditions and spent many weeks in the NICU. We were lucky to have developed a great relationship with his bio-mom though and she kept us in the loop during those early weeks, we also were able to visit him in the NICU.



Our son was placed in our care officially in March after he left the NICU. We spent the rest of the year continuing to help his medical conditions improve. Some are resolved, others are still a work in process.



Currently, I am transitioning from being a career professional to being a Stay At Home Mom. I wish that transition could happen a little faster! We are lucky to have family to help us care for him, when I have to go to work.

Kimberly - posted on 01/28/2012

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My husband and I have been matched with an expectant mom who chose us to adopt her baby girl at birth in March 2012. We are very excited and cannot wait to meet our little girl. We will be meeting the expectant mom in less than 2 weeks. I am nervous about that. I do not know yet whether we will be having an open or semi open adoption. I do not know yet how much contact the mom wants to have with us. We are very excited but very anxious about what is to come. We have a 6 yr old son biologically. We have been trying to adopt for more than a year and have had 2 failed adoptions. We are looking forward to growing our family through adoption.

Kimberly - posted on 01/26/2012

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HI Ms. AMY, well we adopted our son in 2009 thru the courts. due to his birth mother abandonment issues. she asked me to babysit, and i said yes cause a neighbor watched him for a few hours i thought she was ok, i checked out her job verifed she was going and turned out 2 days later she never showed up. so long story short we got a lawyer called cps and went for adoption proceedings so tthis child didnt have to go thru the system. we love him that was when he was 13 months old he is not 7 yrs old. and when we got him he couldnt walk,crawl,nothing. just layed there like a vegtable. i worked with him every day playin on the floor and had theripists come in working with me and him. and now he is doing good still developmental delays and ad/hd but he is our son and God will see his future.... God Bless.

Anna - posted on 01/14/2012

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Hello....

My husband and I adopted our little angel baby in October. We had been trying to adopt for about 2 years domestically. In February 2010, we had a daughter in our arms and instantly in love. The birthmother changed her mind and that adoption failed. I was devastated.

I became ill in the spring and we decided to put our adoption plans on hold until October. In mid September, I received a call from a couple that had a change in their life situation and were unable to proceed with an adoption with a birthmother.

They put us in contact and the rest is history.

She went in to labor at home a few days before her scheduled induction. She called me (I am in New York, she was in Indiana) that morning. I talked her through her labor that morning. I finally convinced her to call an ambulance (after 2 hours). The ambulance arrived, she went to the hospital and delivered 25 minutes later. She called us and told us our son was here.

My husband and I jumped in the car and drove through 18 hours and got there the next morning.

Now we are just waiting for our post adoption visit and then finalize. He is the sweetest gentlest best baby ever.

I didn't know anyone could love this much.

We will probably venture in to another adoption within the next 2 or 3 years...but for now, we are so happy and want to enjoy him every minute of every day.

Amanda - posted on 11/07/2011

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My name is Amanda. My husband and I have adopted twice, both domestically, both newborns. We were chosen by their birth mothers/birth parents and met them repeatedly before the birth and we were able to be in hospital, either during or immediately after our sons were born. Ours sons are now 1 and a half and 4 years old. They have known they are adopted all along. We talk about their adoption stories often. For the 4 year old I made a life book with pictures to explain how we came to adopt him. I need to make one for our younger son, but have been too busy to do so. Both my husband and I work full time.

[deleted account]

I'd love to hear more from the birth parent side of the triad. We so seldom get to hear your point of view. Welcome!

Jane - posted on 07/05/2011

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We did have to attend training before placement and it covered all sorts of things, including talking to your kids about adoption, dealing with stupid (or at least unthinking) questions about adoption, countering any belief that adoption is somehow a lesser manner of building a family, and how to approach birth parents. In fact, there were many aspects of the training that I think every potential parent should be exposed to.

The one thing we didn't get was newborn care. Usually they offered that in the hospital after birth, but we didn't plan to be in the hospital (we actually were because our daughter was ill when we got her at placement and we ended up in the ER and then in the hospital for 10 days).

We ended up taking a Lamaze class so we could get the infant care session at the end. We didn't have to bring a pillow, however, since we weren't even going to give birth. We had fun talking to the others in the class, and they had fun learning about adoption.

The training was not just to help us handle the whole process. It also showed the social workers who probably shouldn't participate in open adoption, and those who probably shouldn't adopt at all. The agency also offered counseling and life skills training to birth parents.

At the time we first adopted, in 1992, Lutheran Social Services had offered open adoption in Texas for 22 years, and never had a reversal. However, some states were and are very opposed to it. As I recall Ohio is one of the most adamant about not revealing birth parent identities.

Neither my husband nor I are fans of family secrets so open adoption was to us a no-brainer.

I had a friend who was adopted who eventually sought out his birth parents. He waited until his adoptive parents had passed away so he wouldn't hurt their feelings. What he said of the experience was that they were very nice people, that it was really weird to be surrounded by people who all looked like him, but that they weren't family.

I hope some day you will get to meet your daughter. I know back in the 1990's there were internet sites where birth parents and children could post in order to find each other.

Stacy - posted on 07/05/2011

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Thank you, Jane. I really do understand her parents fears; I would have them myself. Open adoptions were not very common when she was placed and even if that were an option I am not sure about the level of contact I would have been comfortable with. I know I would have loved to receive updates every so often just to have the reassurance that she was okay. I am not so sure I would have been able to handle the emotions involved with visits and such. I do wish that her parents had been more open with her. She learned she was adopted at 12 from another kid on the school bus. She has an older sister who is also adopted (a big part of the reason I chose her family's profile=) but sis doesn't want to have any conversation about adoption either. She had a very tough couple of years feeling rejected and 'not good enough' as so many adoptees do. I am very thankful to a neighbor of hers that is also an adoptive mom. She started babysitting for them shorty after their second son came to them as an infant. She provided my daughter with a safe place to share her feeling and reassurance that if I had placed her for adoption it was because I loved her.
She is really such an amazing kid and I am so grateful to her family for giving her what I could not. I would love to know them but mostly, I would love for her to have their support. At the time of her placement, I did make it very clear that I hoped to reconnect someday.
Were you offered / required to attend any counseling either before or post adoption to help you with learning how to address the topic of your children's birth families? I know that there is support out there if you look for it but I think it should be a required step in the process... just my opinion. Again, thanks for the reply. It is nice to hear the perspective of an adoptive parent about this.

Jane - posted on 07/04/2011

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I don't know how to change adoptive parents minds about reconnecting. As an adoptive mother twice over I know that I can't help but worry a bit about how the birth parents will treat my children. However, I also raised my children being as open as I could about their adoptions and their birth families.



There is still a feeling of stigma about adoption in some people's minds. Even though they have adopted and raised a child they still feel insecure and afraid that somehow birth parents will lure their child away. I guess what they don't realize is that life itself lures your children away.



The problem I have run into from my side of things is that while some birth parents go on to become happy and successful people, others do not. Some continue the same behaviors that gave them trouble when they were young, drinking or using drugs, or never forming a stable, adult relationship of their own. Some have even ended up in jail.



Sometimes our values are very different, so different that conflicts can arise. I know my son's birth father's family is much more religiously conservative than ours. They also hold some political values that are very different from ours. However, because I know this, just as when I am visiting my relatives that hold different opinions, I simply bow out of discussing these things or make noncommittal remarks.



We never did get to meet our daughter's birth father (he had to go surfing the day of placement) so we have no idea of his values, and my son's birth mother never, ever contacted us after placement. We know a bit about her because she has been in contact with his birth father, but she is evidently afraid to find out what we think of her. And we have never heard anything directly from her, not even a letter to our son. We hope to meet her again some day, but have no idea when that will be or how it will go.



We have "open adoptions." That means we met the birth parents, at least to some degree, and we have stayed in contact with the birth parents to varying degrees. In fact, my son is going on Wednesday to spend four days with his birth father and his birth grandparents. My son is sixteen but in many ways he is much younger emotionally, and I am afraid that his birth father will shower attention and gifts on him so that when he comes home he will be very hard to live with.



However, in our family we consider birth parents as family members, about the same level as aunts and uncles.

Stacy - posted on 07/04/2011

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Hi! I'm Stacy and I am a birth mom who recently reconnected with my 19 year old daughter. I got pg at 15 and adoption was the only option that I felt I had until right after she was born. I was very scared of disappointing my family and hid my pregnancy right up until her birth. Luckily, she was born full term and suffered no negative effects resulting from my lack of pre-natal care. After he birth, I was surprised by the amount of support I received from my family as well as by how much I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her. I elected to attempt to parent and we struggled through a rocky 15 months. My mom was not around at this time and my dad agreed to let my DD and I enter into the foster care system together so that I could have a female influence. My first foster home was nothing great but after an unsuccessful attempt at living on my own, we were placed with an amazing foster family. About the time that my DD was 15 months old I finally came to the realization that I could not be the parent I wanted her to have. Not only was there the financial struggles to consider but I was not emotionally ready to parent. She was placed with a wonderful family that I chose from a profile book through a Christian agency.

Her adoptive family clearly did an awesome job as my DD's parents. She has great values, strong morals and just the right amount of self-confidence. She is currently obtaining her degree in Social Work and plans to work in the field of adoption. We reconnected almost 2 years ago when she found something with my name on it and looked me up. The only issue is that her adoptive parents (mainly mom) are unwilling to even discuss her adoption with her. They do not want her to have any contact with me until she is older ( she will be 20 in January). I can completely understand their fears and insecurities regarding me but how can they not see that this is such an important part of their daughter's world? I sent them a letter shortly after we began talking to introduce myself again, let them know how much I appreciated them and open the door for us to begin to communicate. We know that they received the letter but have not responded or told DD about it. I also sent a Christmas Card with a short note and a picture of my family. I now have two sons, 10 and 7, and both have developed a great relationship with their sister.
How do we help her parents understand that her relationship with me and my family does not change her relationship with them?

April - posted on 06/30/2011

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Hi, I am April we have one daughter she is 4. We adopted her as an infant. We are in the process of adopting our second child. We are at the stage of waiting for a birthmother to chose us.

Jane - posted on 06/25/2011

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We have two children, Both were adopted as infants through Lutheran Social Services of the South. It feels as though it was only yesterday but our daughter is now a college student and our son is in high school.

Time flies when you are raising kids.

Larisa - posted on 06/25/2011

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Hi my name is Larisa, both my sister and I are adopted and I adopted my first son. It is so fulfilling. And so wonderful.

Sara - posted on 06/19/2011

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Hi I’m Sara. My husband and I have been married almost 14 years and just started our family about 3 years ago. We have always wanted a family but still to this day cannot conceive on our own and if I do I miscarry. We chose to do Foster Care in hopes of adopting and now have two beautiful children, Corbin age 2.5 and Natalie 3, which are legally ours. We do have an open adoption with Natalie’s mom as long as she stays clean. Corbin was taken by Child Protective Services at birth. When he came to us we were told there would be a 95% chance we would be able to adopt him and 10 months later we finalized his adoption. Natalie was a struggle. Her mom was on drugs and felt that by dragging the case through court for 2 years she cold get her daughter back but 1 year ago we were finally able to finalize on her. We both would love more children but have chosen to not continue with Foster Care so we are going to a fertility specialist to see if there is any hope of us having another little one. We are so excited to finally have a family and are enjoying life with the two we have.

Cathy - posted on 06/12/2011

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I'm Cathy and my husband Steve and I adopted our son Gus through domestic newborn adoption. He's now 13 months (crazy to believe he's that old already) and just an absolute joy! We have a VERY open adoption and we see his birth parents two times a year, but they recieve text messsages with pictures daily, Facebook updates daily, and blog entries weekly. We have a great relationship with their immediate family members, which gives Gus a great connection to his birth aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts, great uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents!

We are ready to start thinking about starting the whole process again, but aren't sure where to start since we're not going through an agency this time.

Mandi - posted on 06/01/2011

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I'm Mandi. I'm also in a Kinship/Relative foster to adopt situation. We have had our son since he came home from the hospital but have been involved in his life since before he was born. He is almost 2 and we finally have Full Custody and can move on with seeking Legal Adoption now. We can not wait to to have it finalized though no piece of paper will make him more our son than he already is.

We plan on trying for some siblings for him very soon in whatever way God blesses us, whether that be born or adopted or fostered. We have always wanted atleast 2 children..... or more lol.

Andrea - posted on 04/26/2011

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I am a 48 yr old USA citizen and I live with my son in Sweden. I adopted him from birth in Philadelphis USA. It is a bit lonely here as there are no groups of adoptive families to meet with for activities and good times as i knew stateside. My son is now 13!!!! would love european connections, specifically, scandanavian or denmark! Thanks!

LISE - posted on 04/08/2011

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HI EVERYONE ,
WE BEGAN OUR JOURNEY IN 2007
WHEN I BCAME THE PRIMARY CARE GIVER TO MY GRANDCHILD KITA SHE WAS 4 YEARS OLD .
SINCE THIS TIME I HAVE BECOME MOM :} ; THEN IN 2008 AFTER A PGO ORDER WAS GRANTED I FILED FOR ADOPTION AND HERE WE ARE TODAY !
WE STILL HAVE NOT REACHED ADOPTION AS WE AWAIT TESTING / ASSESSMENT FOR KITA . HOWEVER I HOPE WITHIN THE YEAR TO REACH PERMANCY , TO SIGN OUR PAPERS .

Rachel - posted on 04/01/2011

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sorry been crap on this forum , I am adopted myself so not sure its my input you really need?

Kim - posted on 03/26/2011

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Hi, I'm Kim.



Our children are from kinship/relative adoptions. Our b/g twins will be four in May and were placed in the foster care system at 14 months. They were placed with us at 15 1/2 months. Their parents relinquised rights in Sept 2009 and our adoption was final in April 2010. We were there the day they were born but only because my nephew is their birth father (not as their future parents).



Their sister was born in February 2009. We were at the hospital for her birth and took her home the next day. Her adoption was final on St. Patricks Day 2009.



We are not in contact with the birth parents. My sister and her son have moved away and dropped contact. The birth mother is something else. We are now friends with BMs parents and spend time with them to let the kids know that part of their family. grandparents actually have custody of their older sister.



We also have a grown son who is currently owned by the Navy. He finally became a big brother when he was 21.



We've had struggles with the twins behavior and now seems worse than ever. Some of it has to do with the neglect and starvation they had those first 14 months and some of it is just being three. They test us every day and it's a struggle some days to remain sane.



We moved here last July to give us all a new start and allow me to become a stay at home mom for our kids. They are growing and thriving and, although test our patience, they bring us joy every day. We might want to change some things but then we wouldn't have our beautiful babies.



I would love to have support through this difficult time from other adoptive parents who have already survived the rough years and maybe make lifelong friends here.



We are in North Carolina and our kids were born in Kansas.

April - posted on 03/02/2011

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I have not been on here in a long time. I just found my message to introduce myself. I am an adoptive mother of one daughter. She is three. We adopted her domestically. We are in the process of starting the adoption process for a second child. Oh my name is April. :)

Karin - posted on 02/17/2011

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Hi, just finally checked my messages and saw a request for introductions. I'm Karin and I'm an adoptee and adoptive mother. We were blessed to meet our son when he was 4 days old. He's now a thriving, very active, demanding, loving, 21 month old. We did domestic adoption and do not have a relationship with the birth family, other than sending updates through the agency. As an adoptee, I was adopted out of the foster care system when I was 5. I have no information on my circumstances or my birth family. Looking forward to getting to know y'all and provide any information I can.

Doni - posted on 02/14/2011

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Hello! I am Doni and I am married to the most wonderful husband and father there is, we have 6 beautiful children my two youngest are adopted and we would love to adopt again but have not had any luck as of yet. But we are praying that soon it will happen.

Shannon - posted on 02/09/2011

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Hi Amy, I am a wife and mother of 5 boys 12,9,8,7 and 5 so i keep very busy, My husband and I are looking to adopt a little girl. Now when my 8 year old was born he didn't gain weight and the town i lived in had a childrens aid place and they blamed me for my son losing weight and my doctor was not a very good one, now I suggested that we take him to toronto childrens hospital and they said no the lady that took my son after all the tests were done they tricked me and my husband now they were suppose to put some one in our home first to watch us to see how we are with the kids but in stead they took him last on a friday night of a long week end and wouldn't give us any info on him at all so anyway to make a long story short we had a lady come in to our home before placing our son back with us and she said to us i don't even know why im here you guys are great parents and even though she wasn't suppose to i got her to come with me to a doctors appointment to show her the problem i had with the doctor and when we got out of the office she said find another doctor right away so she set me up with a doctor that cared. We did get our son back very shortly after they took him and the first thing i did was move to the city and take him to the toronto chilrens hospital and he had acid relux and after only 2 minutes of being in the doctors office my son got sick everywhere and he examined him and did all he had to do and acid relux is what they said. they tranfered the case to the city and when talking to the case workers in the city i told them everthing that had happened and was still happening the case worker and nurse told me that in that town if you have a child under 2 that they would be just waiting for the chance to take your child and they put the scare into you. Now my kids are older and I would love to adopt but i'm afraid that with what happened even though i don't live in the same province as i did then i won't be able to adopt even though it was proven not my fault. Does anyone have any advice on this kind of a matter.

Jessica - posted on 02/02/2011

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I agree, Amy! There is lots of potential for support here and I have been sad to see the group fizzle a bit. I am a mom to 3 children-Emma,12, Adam,10, and Seth,3. Our youngest came to us in a "surprise" adoption-the surprise being that we were not looking to add more children to our family. His birth mother is the niece of some close church friends of ours. She was 17 and pregnant, and knew adoption was the best option for her baby and for her, but only wanted to place him in a family she knew. She could not stand the thought of having a closed adoption or choosing parents from a profile book. Six months into the pregnancy we knew she was still struggling to find his family, and we began to consider it. Our other kids were 10 and 7 at the time, so starting over felt like a big undertaking to us. We talked with her and her family, and the rest is "history". Things fell into place quickly-we were able to get our home study done and all the legal papers in order and we were at the hospital when he was born. He has brought so much life and laughter to our home! My hubby and I joke that we are too old to keep up with him, but I think he is keeping us young. He is adored by us and our older children and has fit right into our family from day one. We finalized his adoption on his two month birthday and haven't looked back. I am enjoying reading all of the stories here and look forward to more!

Patricia - posted on 01/30/2011

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My husband and I are older parents. We were both in our 40s when we adopted our son from Costa Rica. He's 20 now which is so hard to believe. While we waited for Michael's papers he stayed with my mother and I in San Jose. Took almost 3 months. (He grew from 7 to 10 months old in that period) I had lots of CR pictures to show MIchael. He knows that God sent him to us through adoption, and how thrilled we are that he is our son.

Carla - posted on 01/28/2011

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hi my name is carla i adopted my sister s child she is now 8 and doing very will knows that iam her aunt and her mom and at times when the kids are fighting there cusins lol but for the most part there sisters lol any how i dont know what to say but have a great day just droping in to say hi

Vickie - posted on 01/28/2011

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My son has know he was adopted from day one. We don't make a big deal out of it. When someone asks him where he was born, he very proudly tells them: "My mom got me in Russia!"

Adoption Learning Partners - posted on 01/28/2011

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Hi! My name is Gabrielle and I work for Adoption Learning Partners an online adoption education resource. I've joined and started groups like this to listen to your wonderful stories and get from the source what resources the adoption community needs. Our goal is to offer quality information that is really helpful to people. I may suggest some of our resources along the way, but for the most part I am here to listen and learn. I truly respect your stories and the support you offer each other.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/16/2011

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I just read all the recent posts, and I am glad to see such a diverse nice group here.

Brenda - posted on 01/12/2011

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Hi I am 32 and I was adopted when I was 4 years old along with my two younger sisters. We were placed in a home that was really abusive both mentally and physically, so when I was 12 years old I was placed in foster care. I was bounced around a lot until I turned 14 and then I was placed in an amazing foster home. The family was the greatest family, loving, understanding and patient. I was really fortunate. When I was 15 I found my birth mother; she lived six houses down from my foster family. We had a relationship up until two years ago; my bio mom had me when she was 14 and when I came back into the picture she had three boys and was remarried; she wasn’t ready to be a mother to a teenager. She was more interested in the nice things that we had.

I got pregnant with my daughter and married her father a year later. We tried for many years to have another baby but were unable to, we adopted Mikayla in 2003, I was able to witness her birth and take her home from the hospital. Her birth mother was my brother’s girlfriend even though he wasn’t the bio dad.We have an open adoption, although the birth mother has no interest in seeing our daughter. Mikayla completed our family and we are so blessed to have such amazing children.

Cara - posted on 12/27/2010

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Hi Hali-or cryz marin. I look forward to hearing things from your point of view.

Cara - posted on 12/14/2010

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Hi everyone! I just posted a new link and saw this one in the process. We had 2 bio children and felt God calling us to be foster parents. Our first placement arrived in March of 2008 as a straight foster placement. After a wild roller coaster ride, we finalized their adoption in July of 2010. Our DD has reactive attachment disorder, so have closed our home to foster placements. We are hoping for one final adoption of one or two (if siblings - or possibly three as it turn out) to complete our family.

We have also started a branch of For Jamie's Sake in Northern Kentucky to help foster parents. We give clothing, toys, etc to help foster, kinship and reunifying families free of charge. If you are in our area our website is forjamiesake.com We just feel like this is our way of giving back.

Amy - posted on 12/14/2010

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Hi Shannon, Nice to meet you! Since you are just starting your journey, I'll jump in with just a hint of education, so hopefully I can spare you getting it from the social worker. Referring to biological kids as "your own" is a big no-no. It infers that adopted kids are not "your own". My hubby made the mistake of saying that his parents would prefer we had a "natural" child...just flubbing his language and she jumped all over him asking if they felt an adoptive child was "unnatural"...which of course they don't. So we all do it, but it's important that we try to be aware of our language! Your adopted child will be just as much "your own" as your biological children are!

Shannon - posted on 12/14/2010

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HI Everyone, I am a mum of 5 boys and my hubby and I are looking to adopt a little girl to add to our family. I would love to have another one of my own but it wouldn't be safe for me to carry a baby again so we are looking at adoption, there are so many kids that need a good home and maybe one day we will be blessed again to have another child in our home

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