Advice?

Amy - posted on 09/28/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Anyone have some advice to give about adoption? My husband and I have talked about it and we have finally agreed that this is something that we want to do. We're just trying to figure out where we should start.....

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Amy - posted on 09/30/2009

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Thank you ladies, I appreciate it. I was a foster kid my whole life so I feel it is necessary for me to adopt, even though I have 3 of my own. I finally got my husband on board (he has an adopted son that him and his ex-wife adopted when the kid was 12 and he came with tons of problems so my hubby was pretty cynical) and want to get things going.....

Cheryl - posted on 09/29/2009

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I agree with the other posters. Research is your best bet before getting started. Use the internet and then if you find an agency or attorney you want to use, set up an interview with them before you apply so you can ask questions, find out about fees, procedures, etc. All agencies are different. We were just approved to adopt a second child and we are using a different agency this time. The fees are very different, and even their definition of a parental placement vs. agency placement adoption is different. And don't forget, there is also international adoption, as well as waiting child adoption through social services, etc. Research the various kinds of adoption to decide what type of adoption you want first, then find an agency or attorney that is the best fit for you and then your journey will begin., Best wishes.

Kim - posted on 09/29/2009

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Ditto on the agency. We are in the process of adopting our newborn through a private adoption. Honestly, I have been surprised at how expensive it is. I thought doing it without an agency would be less expensive, but I seem to have been wrong. There are many things to consider. I recomend you do some reading. I started reading a book something like "the things your adopted child wished you knew." It opens your eyes to the thought process from the child's perspective, which is critical to being there in the way your child needs. Ours is now 6 days old, sleeping on my chest as i write this and and totally worth it. But be prepared for many emotions and emotional conflicts within yourself. Hardest for me is that in my great happiness, my son has lost his birth family, and they have lost him. I am thrilled his birthmom has decided to have some contact (it is totally up to her in our eyes) because he will get a chance to know about her.

good luck!

Michelle - posted on 09/29/2009

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Talk to anyone in your area who has adopted their children and talk to them about their experiences. Decide if you want to use an agency or plan a private adoption through a lawyer. Go to any classes held by any adoption agencies to see if what they offer is a good fit for you and what you may want. I would recommend a very well established adoption agency with an excellent reputation that has been serving birth mothers and adoptive parents for several years. It does not mean that you will not have challenges to face and decisions to make. However, using a highly reputable, well known, long lasting agency, you will be getting the best of care, counseling, and legal advise.



Good luck on your journey, for it is a journey.

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