From an adoptee

Patricia - posted on 05/08/2012

Thank u so much, this year has been very challenging, i went from almost raising all my kids to thinking i was done, or almost done, but i guess i cant say that either because u are never done being a mother, and it is a honor, although i started way too young and thought i was gettting a break, anyways did for a bit, lol, went from finding out my daughter was pregnant, to being a grandma, to a new mom, wow, all in a year. Ian has made my year though, and i wouldnt have had it any other way, although, somedays i dont know how i do it. Thank u so much for your support and friendship, Patty

Medic - posted on 05/05/2012

7rin- I am sorry you are so bitter but you do not need to go crashing everyone elses parade. It is not needed and it is very immature.

7rin - posted on 04/16/2012

So were you one of the rarities who really were picked, or - like the vast majority of us - were you just the next kid on the list and ended up with the a'rents you've got because of that?

Kimberly - posted on 06/08/2010

Jaime Thank you for that.....I always feel that my son is a gift from god...and his birth mom told me that she felt she carried him for me, God has blessed us and it is nice to hear positive comments from someone who was adopted....thanks & God Bless u and your families!!

Kristy - posted on 04/26/2010

Jaime,

I so agree that in the end family is the people who raised you. Who kissed your boo-boo's, played Santa, the tooth fairy, and the easter bunny, took you to daisy scouts, dance...okay the list goes on for miles. And at the end of the day felt so priviledged to be the one lucky enough to raise you, love you, watch you grow. I just hope my kids feel the same way you do when they grow-up. P.S. It is so nice to hear the positive side of adoption from an adoptee, thank you.

Kerry - posted on 01/14/2010

Thank-you for posting this. There has been so much in the media lately about the connections between first parents and children. While I do not downplay that connection, I feel like the connection between an adopted child and his or her family has been denied. There is a connection between my son and me. And while I do share the role of "mom" with his first mother and his foster mother... it is me who cleans up the vomit in the middle of the night. It is me who answers questions and facilitates communication between his first mother and him. It is me who walks through fire for him. Loving him unconditionally even though one day he may shun me. It's a risk I take because he is worth it. His infancy with his first mom was so trauma-filled, mostly at her young and inexperienced hands. It is a tricky dance I do - to tell him what he needs to know, what he can understand and let him know that he is loved by so many people.

Janet - posted on 01/14/2010

Thank you for sharing!

Britt - posted on 01/11/2010

Hi Jaime - thanks for your post, my husband and I adopted a beautiful little boy 6 months ago, he was 4 months old and we fall more in love with him everyday. We now understand why we have not been able to fall pregnant as we were supposed to wait for this amazing little guy who has had such a huge impact not only in our lives but in the lives of our family and friends - he is so little but has brought something huge to all of our lives. I am a little nervous about when we start telling him his "story" but I trust that I will know exactly what to say when the time comes.



Thanks again, it is awesome to hear from someone who has been adopted and also from poeple that have adopted.

Kerry - posted on 01/10/2010

Your post brought a tear to my eye. You sound like a very special person. God bless you!!

Nicholle - posted on 12/16/2009

hi,i would like to share a part of my story with you.when i was 15 i got married and became pregnant.i cared for my son for over a year,but my husband at the time made it increasing difficult.he was into drugs and stole everything from us.my father took my child from me then gave him to the state when i was making preparations to leave my husband.i fought for a year to get my son back and did everything i was told,but in the end i was still an underage single mother.when i was told i wasn't going to get him back...that he was going to be ward of the state(like i was growing up) living in group homes and temp.foster care i knew i had to do something for my baby.i wanted to give him the best life he could ever have.and i knew that the state and i could never give that to him.i only had two months to try and help him so i called about a dozen different adoption agency's but most wouldn't take him because of his age and situation.then i found lifetime adoption and went through over 60 applications for families wanting an open adoption.i had never heard of an open adoption,but it sounded like a dream come true.then i found the most amazing family.they flew out and met with me and were willing to try everything with me to make this happen before time ran out and my rights were severed.they took the risk knowing that it wasn't set in stone.in the end it all worked out perfectly.they are my family too.i love them dearly.they did the single most amazing thing anyone could ever do for me...they gave my child all the love in their hearts and welcomed him into their family.that was almost 3 years ago and i still talk to them now and get pictures.i can go see them too but they live far away.since then ive had 2 more children.a 2 year old daughter and a 4 month old son.and im taking the steps to becoming a surrogate mother for another family in the future.i just wanted to tell all of you how special you are,not only to the children but to the birth mothers as well.you are all blessings and i just thought you all should know.

Cassie - posted on 11/21/2009

My son's birthmom is on facebook and we are "friends" on there. I am not sure how he feels about her, never talks about her, but he exchanges e-mail with his bio brother. We are not sure what we are going to say when he askes more about her and what she does,she is a call girl, and she did drugs. His paper work all says he is biracial but the doctors told us he is caucasion only. We live in Indiana and she is in Tennessee and he was adopted in Utah, he is really confused about that one!

Cassie - posted on 11/21/2009

I feel the same way, I was adopted at birth and went on to adopt my son 8 years ago.

Sherrie - posted on 10/31/2009

Jaime,

Thank you so much for starting this conversation. Also, I want to thank the adopted parents and other adoptees for posting.

We adopted our daughter and she has been with us since the day after she was born. I was there the day our daughter was born, and it took the nurse 15 minutes to convince me that she had to weigh, measure and clean her up. I had waited so long to hold my daughter in my arms, that I didn't want to let her go. The Dixie Chicks has a song "Lullaby" I have sang that song to her since she was born.

She is now 18 months old, and we plan to tell her that she was adopted. My concern is how to tell her, so we decided to use the word adoption frequently, and to sit down with her when she's about 4 yrs old. She may not have a lot of questions then, but as she gets older we will answer her questions the best we can.

I still keep in contact with her birth mother, I send her emails and updates. We had only met a month prior to our daughter being born, and she didn't know us. It was a private adoption, not through an agency. In fact at the hospital where our daughter was born, the day we were to take her home the social worker spoke to the birth mother, about keeping our daughter. She told her she picked us and she wanted us to raise her baby. I have a lot of respect for her birth mother, what she did was a very selfless act. I like the fact that her birth mother is only a phone call away, in case there would be a medical issue.

My only concern is our daughter. I was always concerned that she would feel bad later or be upset that she was adopted. However reading all these replys on this conversation board, has lifted a weight off my heart. We love her with all our heart, and she has a big family with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles and they also adore her. I know now that I have been worrying for nothing. As long as we continue to give her the love and we are honest from the beginning, I know now that she will be fine.

There was one thing I did when she was in the hospital, that I'm sure she will appreciate later. I took a picture of her birth mother holding her, and when she gets older I do plan on giving her that photo. For now it's tucked away for safe keeping.

Louise - posted on 09/23/2009

Thank you Jaime for your sweet words! My husband and I were married 22 years with no children. We received a telephone call one day and were asked, "If you could get a newborn baby, would you be interested?" Of course, we said yes! To make a long story short, not only were we able to adopt our precious daughter, but we were there and watched her birth. As soon as the nurse cleaned her and wrapped her in a blanket, she handed her to me. We walked her to the nursery and I was able to feed her first bottle. She has been the joy of our lives. She is now 17 and what a beautiful young lady she has grown into. One of the many memorable moments was when she was about 4 years old. Her dad and I were lying in bed on a Saturday morning and she came in and laid at the foot of the bed between us. She looked up at us and said, "Ya'll adopted me, didn't you?" We said yes. At that point she crawled up between us and put one arm around each of us and said, "You know what? I always wanted parents just like ya'll!" That is just one of the many precious moments we have had through the years. And by the way, our daughter was 4 hours from being aborted. She was saved by a loving grandfather! The birth mother did not want an abortion, but her mother told her she had to have it. I thank God every day that my daughter's birth grandfather was in time to save her life. And . . . our daughter met her birth grandfather, birth mother, and half-sister this past summer. It was something that our daughter wanted to do. I feel like it helped her so much. To all of the adoptive parents who may read this, I have some advice. Be up front and honest with your child about the adoption. If they grow up knowing it will be so much better than finding out when they are grown. I was talking with my high chorus teacher a few months ago and she told me she was adopted and didn't find out until she was 62 -- after both of her adoptive parents had passed away! Be honest with your child . . . they will appreciate it!

Lynne - posted on 09/21/2009

Jaime - Your story and all the responses sound so much like my story. We adopted our first child, a daughter, almost 29 years ago. She was the answer to my prayers and she has been my best friend, my confidant, my motivation, my travel buddy and of late my political sparing partner. She was 9 weeks old when we got her and she was 3 years old when we adopted her brother. He, too, has been a blessing in my life although giving me a few more "thrills" than I would prefer! My son was 8 weeks old when we got him. My third child, a son, was a complete surprise when I got pregnant 7 months after adopting our second child. Every one of my children are precious and I love them all equally. They have each added so many experience to my life. I am so priviledged to have had the opportunity to share the lives of my two adopted children. Every day I say a prayer thanking their mom's for their incredible sacrifice I appreciate your comments about how special adoptive parents are, but you must realize that we are by far the most blessed to have you in our lives. From the very beginning I have always told my children they are adopted. They have accepted the circumstances well and never seemed to have any issues. They don't seem to have any real desire to search for their biological parents, but I would be right there by their sides if they ever decided to. I would love to have the opportunity to say thank you to their mom's in person. We have acknowledged their adoption anniversary each year, not with a large celebration, but with at least a comment about the day and how special it is.

Caroline - posted on 08/23/2009

Quoting Mary:

How old were you when you were adopted. We are about to tell our 7 year old and I'm petrified that he will be saddened by this news. We used the word adoption when he was very young but decided to wait for an age when he could understand the meaning. He's a wonderful boy that I truly hope feels as lucky and well adjusted as you are. Your adoptive parents should be very proud!

I was 1 when I was finally released to my adoptive parents because I was pretty sick.  I was told from the beginning and so was my son.  He is a wonderful, happy adjusted little boy too.  I would just make sure that you are using the word around him once in a while . Just casually bring it up that you are so glad that you were blessed with him and that he is your adopted angel.  Then when he is ready, he will ask questions.  As a Mom, my answer for why was I adopted is: "Because God knew that we needed t o be together and so he blessed us with you.  My tummy was sick and I couldn't carry a baby.  We are just lucky, that's why!"

Mary - posted on 08/17/2009

How old were you when you were adopted. We are about to tell our 7 year old and I'm petrified that he will be saddened by this news. We used the word adoption when he was very young but decided to wait for an age when he could understand the meaning. He's a wonderful boy that I truly hope feels as lucky and well adjusted as you are. Your adoptive parents should be very proud!

Caroline - posted on 08/15/2009

Quoting theresia:

Hi Jaime, I am a grandmother of achild that was adopted out. I am wondering how the child is progressing. We did not have the luxury of knowing who the parents are or where they live. I am not privy to any updates that the mom receives on her child. My son was the father of the child and he is leary about any info. Where can I go for more info on my lost granddaughter?

As an an adoptee and adoptive Mom- may give you some advice?  PLEASE PLEASE go thru the proper channels.  I would contact the adtoption agency and see if you can get updates.  Please don't try to find the child until they are 18.  It is a disruption to the child and adoptive parents.  Many of us adoptive parents are willing to send updates without any identifiying information. 

Caroline - posted on 08/15/2009

What a great story and great responses! I am an adoptee and an adoptive Mom. My parents talked about me being adopted and special from day one. I totally agree with being honest from the beginning. One thing that I would say is- most of us adoptees don't want to be beat over the head that we're adopted. There are some very well inteded adoptive parents that are in every adoptive parents support group, play group, gotcha day and read adoption books to their kids every day. I think there is a fine line. Yes, let them know they are adopted and that they are special and then focus on being a family UNLESS your child wants to talk about it more. My 12 year has verbalized the same feelings.

Ruth - posted on 07/23/2009

How lovely to read such a beautiful message. As adoptive mom of 3 beautiful children, I hope they will feel the way you do when they are adults!

Our children at 12, 10 and 9 are proud to be adopted! They were actually on the radio last year talking about how pleased they were to be all adopted together as biological siblings. They're amazing children! :)

We celebrate our family with an "Adoption Day" every year .. on the anniversary of our adoption. They know it's just another way a family is made and are happy to talk about it.

As I said, it's so nice to to read about an adoptee with such a wonderful attitude. You must be SUCH a blessing to your parents!

Ruth

Sarah - posted on 07/22/2009

I was adopted at 6 weeks old and agree its very important not to hide things from the children to tell them from the word go. I knew nothing about my birth mother except the only details that social services were allowed to give. I always felt like part of the jigsaw of my life was missing. I had fantastic adoptive parents and couldn't have wished for more but still part of the jigsaw was missing.After seven years of trying I finially found her to put the pieces into place It was the worse thing I could ever have done. You here about all the happy endings when the children find their biological mother....well that didn't happen she was the kind of person you would walk over the otherside of the street to advoid ! , but I got my history which is all i really wanted but it felt like being rejected all over again. So those who have children who want to do the same ...be warned. They will need a lot of support if it goes wrong or not as expected.

Susan - posted on 07/21/2009

I adopted my son at birth. I was priviledged enough to cut the cord! He will be told early on that he is adopted. How do I handle the fact that his grandmother is my good friend and that his other three siblings are all adopted out-the oldest is with the grandmother who will not tell the boy he is adopted?

Theresia - posted on 07/19/2009

Hi Jaime, I am a grandmother of achild that was adopted out. I am wondering how the child is progressing. We did not have the luxury of knowing who the parents are or where they live. I am not privy to any updates that the mom receives on her child. My son was the father of the child and he is leary about any info. Where can I go for more info on my lost granddaughter?

Alea - posted on 07/18/2009

Hey, we adopted our almost 6 year old son when he was 10 months old. We have had issues with my SIL from the very beginning (even before son...those issues I could just blow off even though they hurt). So, I will give the short story and would like to hear what ya'll think. SIL went through fertility treatments (many) and had twins. During a conversation with her questioning me about why we did not choose fertility treatments she made the comment that her husband wanted his "own" baby. I wrote that off as uneducated comment. During this time she is showing no interest in my son. We live in the same town and she did not meet him until he had been home for 5 months and only met him them because she bumped into us and a neice made her get out of car to meet him. She did not come to 1st birthday or baptism. So, fast forward 2.5 years I reached out to her when her twins were born. I was there for the birth and to help her at home because she could not take care of them by herself. I really tried and kept telling her how excited I was that our boys could be close because I never had cousins. So, about 6 months after the twins were born 2 of my nieces were over helping her with the boys. I went to pick them up and they told me something the SIL because it was bothering them. When I dropped the oldest niece over there she had just gone with me to put papers in the mail to begin second adoption. I wasn't going to mention it to SIL but had not told niece to not say anything. She was excited and told SIL who's response was, "don't they want a baby of their own." SIL and family know we tried for a baby for years and did everything but fertiliy treatments. I felt like I could not let this slide under the rug as everything else has. My gut feeling about her comment was it was made out of jealousy. She was so scared my nieces would favor my son over hers. I tried to call her to talk about her comment and educated her about adoption. When I tried to call her she would not take my call. Well, it has been over 2 years and still she is not willing to talk about it. If it was up to her all would be forgotten and pretend like nothing happened. My husband and I feel like family should be a safe place. We have said that we will not be around her or her family until she is ready to talk. So, we do not go to any family gathering where she will be. If she will talk negatively about adoption to my nieces, will she raise her boys with the same negativety? My MIL, SIL, and nieces have begged her to talk to me and she has not. I feel we are better off not having her in our life. Am I wrong or should I just let it slip under the rug. We had a suprise last year when I some how got pregnant. I can say for sure there is no difference in my love for my adopted son and my bio little girl. I am greatful for both. We would of missed out if our son was not a part of our family. Thanks for any response. After almost 3 years it still hurts.



Alea

Lorna - posted on 07/15/2009

I am also adopted and have always felt the same way. I have the most amazing parents in the world that have been there for me in everyway possible. When I was almost 2 my mum had a biological daughter (surprise!!!) but there was never a difference between us. Ironically I look much more like my mum than my sister does. As kids no one believed me when I said I was the adopted one. When I was 20 I decided to find my birth mom. The main reason was for medical background (something that had never been given to my parents when they adopted me). I had never had ill feelings towards this person and in a way she was a bit of a hero to me. She had given me my mum and dad. After doing lots of research and speaking with many counselors I found her and she is am amazing woman. She has 2 children after me (my half siblings) and we are all very close. She has never tried to impose on me and knows that she isn’t my mother. She doesn’t get mothers day cards from me but she does have the joy of being another Gran to my 2 children. I have been blessed with not only fantastic parents but an extended family that are now so close to me and my kids. I am one of the lucky ones that has a very happy ending to her story. I know that it isn’t the case for everyone. I feel that the way my parents made me feel and how open they always were was a huge part of this. Good luck to all you unsung heroes out there that gave up a bay selflessly in order to give them a better life and those beautiful souls that have been given the chance to be parents.

Mary - posted on 07/14/2009

Quoting mary:

i was adopted too. I had a hard time with it though. I was eight when i was adopted. But was in foster care since i was three. it was hard. I reunited with my birth family when i was 18. Im actually very close with my birth mother now. it took me a long time to get over what she did, but i learned to forgive her. Also 2 years ago i gave my daughter up for adoption..it was the hardest thing that i have evr done in my life...there is not a day that i dont think about her. she just turned 2 july 11th. But i do know that i did the best thing for her. I now have 2 daughters that are with me.

my daughters that i have are 5 and the other is almost 7 months.

Mary - posted on 07/14/2009

i was adopted too. I had a hard time with it though. I was eight when i was adopted. But was in foster care since i was three. it was hard. I reunited with my birth family when i was 18. Im actually very close with my birth mother now. it took me a long time to get over what she did, but i learned to forgive her. Also 2 years ago i gave my daughter up for adoption..it was the hardest thing that i have evr done in my life...there is not a day that i dont think about her. she just turned 2 july 11th. But i do know that i did the best thing for her. I now have 2 daughters that are with me.

Laura - posted on 07/08/2009

I got my granddaughter at birth she is 19 months.(drugs) She calls me mommy and her grandfather daddy...she is our daughter,but she isn't . Her birth parents are in and out of her life. Her birthmother would not let me adopt her, and at the same time has no plans of trying to take her from me. she and my son just had a baby. so she has a brother. I am worried about her feelings as she start to understand.She is my world and I am hers ...how do I keep her heart safe, and her wonderful face free of tears!?

Jacquie - posted on 05/29/2009

I was adopted as an infant, but for some reason my adoptive parents didn't tell me any thing about it until I was 22. My mom doesn't know why they never brought it up. It is something I am still trying to come to terms with 15 years later. I will def be telling my adopted son at an earlier age. Of course he will prob ask about the fact that my husband and I are caucasion and he is african american.

Carissa - posted on 05/26/2009

Quoting Heather:

well I know it was through the Catholic Social Agency, but I still didn't really know how to go about it

Heather,

Try going to the agency and seeing if anything is on file with them. We used CSS and I know our agency would turn over ever rock to help you if they could. Best of luck.

Susan - posted on 05/03/2009

I am also adopted and have adopted five children of my own. My adoptive mother always told me how lucky she was to have me and how special I was. I, in turn, have told my kids the same thing. We chose each other. I know that kids can love two moms....the one that did the selfless thing by letting them go and the one that takes care of them every day. Many professional out there say that all adoptees have loss issues. There are some that do, but 90% of us feel blessed and loved.

Peggy - posted on 05/02/2009

That you so much for your post and your williness to answer questions. You are awesome. My husband and I adopted twins- a boy and a girl. They were placed with us at the age of two and we adopted them at 3. They have a half brother that still sees bio Mom every other weekend and resides with his bio Dad. Through my own choice, I have met and maintain communication with the bio grandparents on the Mom's side. It's an unofficial relationship - we don't have an open adoption. The relationship with bio Grandma has been beneficial for both of us- she knows the kids are happy and safe and I am able to get family medical history, etc. The Grandma recently sent me an email asking if I would like a picture of the half brother for the twins. I have told the twins they have a half brother- but they don't understand it and even though I have the twins send him a Christmas gift- they seem to think I'm joking about the brother- I always get: Oh, Mom! When I talk about the brother. I am worried about explaining to them why the bio Mom has maintained a relationship with the brother and not them. The bio Mom has a public Facebook and My Space page so I have seen pictures of their brother and he looks so much like my son. On the other hand, the Mom is a freak show in my opinion. My dilemma is that I want the twins to be able to have a relationship with their brother, if that is their desire when they get older BUT I am worried about the Mom's influence on the half brother AND I don't want to open up any wounds for my children- why did their Mom let them go but keep the brother? What are your thoughts on this dilemma

Carmen - posted on 04/19/2009

Jamie,



I just wanted to say that this was a lovely post. I am single and adopted my son almost 2 years ago from birth and have no contact with either of his birthparents though it is suppose to be an open adoption. I am often concerned about how he will deal with the whole adoption situation, especially if I marry or adopt another child whose birthparents are in contact with me (us). I am glad to know that you have adjusted well and hope I do as good a job with him as your parents did with you in helping you adjust and be comfortable with your beginning and life as a whole. I will have to start a gotcha day tradition to mark the wonderful day we became a family.



Thanks for sharing and best wishes to you with your own kid and adoption in the future.

Angela - posted on 04/01/2009

Jaime!
Thanks for your story! I just had a biological baby and have worried about my adopted son. I hope they will be close since they are only 14 months apart. I just thought my sons sibling would have an adoption story too but then I got pregnant, which was our second miracle baby, my son (adopted) was our first. We are open with this birthmother and her family. We see her and her husband usually once a month or so. They usually come to dinner at our home and hang out as friends. I hoped he would be ok and that it will just me "normal". Especially being able to have contact with this birth family. Your story made me think...I know we are great parents to him and tell him just how much we love him too many times a day to count. We cherish both of our children and love both the same. Thanks for sharing!!!!

Ellen - posted on 03/19/2009

Thank you for your lovely post.  Our most recent adoption was terribly difficult.  We have an uneasy open adoption with our youngest's birth family.  It is an extremely long story but there were many hardships my husband and I had not anticipated.  I was wondering your opinion on explaining to our eldest who's adoption was only semi-open why her birth family does not want that relationship.  She's five and confused and hurt by the double standard.  I am supportive and sympathetic but having a hard time seeing any other way to explain the situation other than restating the truth (simply) over and over again.  Hugging her and telling her how lucky we are to have her in our lives and how I wish things were less confusing.  My sister who's adopted and has no interest in her communicating with her birth family says she'll get over it but I'm afraid that I'm not doing enough to help my daughter with these complicated feelings.  Any words of wisdom as an adoptee?

Charlene - posted on 03/17/2009

What a beautiful story!  I went and fed my adopted daughter when she was just 4 days old and had to wait until she was 5 lbs to bring her home and we were so excited when we did!  She was the blessing we had prayed for and we went on, believe it or not, to have a girl and a boy born to us.  We know no differance and never have and neither do they.  They are all 3 close and love one another with no differance between the adopted and naturally born.  God bless you for the kind words for your adopted parents and lack of bitterness toward your biological mother.  Have a great day!

Carli - posted on 03/16/2009

Quoting Lori:

Hi Jaime... I just wanted to say thank you for providing your thoughts as an adoptee.  I am so grateful for your words and your positive outlook toward both your birthmother and your parents.  We are adopting a baby boy from Korea and he will be home in about 6 weeks.  I want you to know how many of us, as adoptive parents, feel like we are the ones who are so blessed and so fortunate to adopt.  It is such a special journey.  We don't even have our son home with us yet, but I already can see how fortunate we are to claim membership as adoptive parents to a community that is so loving and caring.  Many people make comments to adoptive parents, saying that they are doing such a "great thing" by adopting.  And I know what they are saying, and certainly it is a blessing for both parent and child.  But I know, in my heart, we am the ones who are being so blessed to be able to grow our family through adoption.  Thank you again and I am so glad to hear your positive comments...  Lori 

Lori

This is exactly how I feel. So many people say to me that it's such an amazing this what my husband and I are doing in adopting our daughter, and I thank them, because I totally understand where they are coming from....but in my heart I am the one that is so thankful. So thankful to be able to start a family and have this most precious little girl come into our lives. She's amazing, it is such a blessing...my husband and I are the lucky ones!! :)

ps..thank you sooo much  Jamie for posting and sharing with us!

Melanie - posted on 03/08/2009

Hi!  It is great to hear good reports from adoptees!  We have 2 adopted daughters.  One from India, and the other adopted domestically(open adoption).  Our daughter came from India at 3 1/2.  She knows that she was in an orphanage, and not always with Daddy and Mommy.  Although now at 5 she knows she was adopted, she is still coming to understand what that means.  The girls do know that adoption makes them extra special. 

Lori - posted on 01/25/2009

Hi Jaime... I just wanted to say thank you for providing your thoughts as an adoptee.  I am so grateful for your words and your positive outlook toward both your birthmother and your parents.  We are adopting a baby boy from Korea and he will be home in about 6 weeks.  I want you to know how many of us, as adoptive parents, feel like we are the ones who are so blessed and so fortunate to adopt.  It is such a special journey.  We don't even have our son home with us yet, but I already can see how fortunate we are to claim membership as adoptive parents to a community that is so loving and caring.  Many people make comments to adoptive parents, saying that they are doing such a "great thing" by adopting.  And I know what they are saying, and certainly it is a blessing for both parent and child.  But I know, in my heart, we am the ones who are being so blessed to be able to grow our family through adoption.  Thank you again and I am so glad to hear your positive comments...  Lori 

Kimberley - posted on 01/25/2009

do you know what city you were originally from you could start at the catholic church their

Sheri - posted on 01/25/2009

My kids are adopted and my boys know who their bio-sibs are. We see them more than we see their bmom.... they were placed for adoption as well. I don't have time to go into it right now, but I think them having their bio-sibs in their life is very important! Right now they are "just friends" but as they grow older they will understand. Sorry I have to go.

Diane - posted on 01/24/2009

We adopted both of our children at birth. They are one and five. We have open adoptions. We are lucky to have pictures of both of their birthmothers hanging in their rooms. We pray each night and thank each one of them for making us a family, We talk about adoption with them, read stories. We figure once they start asking who that lady in the picture is and we pray to is, it is time to really get deeper into it. Our 5 year old is getting there, especially since we adopted his sister.

Dana - posted on 01/24/2009

I have pictures of birthmom, birthdad and two siblings.  Should I share all of these with my daughter and when?  I am afraid to let her know about the siblings, because that may not be something that we can give her.  And they were one and two years older than her and being raised by BM and BD.  I have a wonderful relationship with BM and BD.  I truly love them and can speak the truth from my heart when talking about them.  I already tell my daughter her adoption story and she is 7 weeks old.  I just haven't mentioned her brother and sister.  Help?

Jennifer - posted on 01/23/2009

Thank you...:)

Jennifer - posted on 01/23/2009

Thank you for you wonderful responses. My daugther is turning for in March and we she knows that she is adopted (as much as she can understand) we read lots of books with the message of being speical and loved so that is how she views it....she is a blessing from God and I just want to do things right for her.

Jaime - posted on 01/23/2009

At three & four I knew the word adopted and I knew that I was special because I was in a family that wanted me. I knew that my parents and my brother were mine but not REALLY mine. So I had some what of an understanding that something was different. But it didn't really matter that I didn't fully understand all of it. Because by the time I was 7 or 8 I just always knew. It was never a shock and I just kind of grew to understand what they meant. But like I said by then it didn't really matter. It was just like any other part of my life. Something familiar. It wasnt until I was 15 or 16 that I realized I might want to know more about my biological parents. I don't need to know who they are....but when something is there, that always keeps you guessing and medically it always comes up, your just curious. In my case I will never know who my biological parents are. But I have my life which is good and a daughter of my own which is amazing. So thats good enough for me. Although I have to admit, when I was pregnant I wanted nothing more than for her to look like me. Which she doesnt really and thats still okay. I blessed that she is a part of me.

Heather - posted on 01/23/2009

The earliest I remember understanding it was about 5 years old, and my adoptive parents showed pictures of me after I was born with my temporary foster parents, and pictures of the day they brought me home. As I got older the more I understood it obviously but I know I grasped the concept about that age, and it didn't bother me, I never felt like something was wrong with it and I always knew I was loved

Jennifer - posted on 01/23/2009

As a small child (3 to 4 yr) did you understand you were adopted?

Heather - posted on 01/23/2009

well I know it was through the Catholic Social Agency, but I still didn't really know how to go about it

Kimberley - posted on 01/23/2009

I have adopted twin girls since birth and I have always read books about adoption and have let the know thanks for the insight that we are doing the right thing they are 31/2 now and I feel they have some sort of concept of what adoption means. Where to start I would start with the CAS that you were adopted thru do they not have this knowledge for you