How did everyone form their family? What is your favorite part of your adoption story?

Amy - posted on 12/11/2008 ( 9 moms have responded )

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There are so many different ways to form your family through adoption! I'd love to hear about some of our member experiences, and what your favorite part of your adoption story is!



We adopted Tyler domestically as an infant. He is AA, so there was a lot to learn initally about his skin and hair care. Tyler was also a "baby born" situation, so it was a whirl wind of things to do to get him home.



Right after we got home, my DH went into surprise congestive viral heart failure, at only 30 years old. So I was handling all that, and a 2 week old! It was a crazy time, and 2008 has been an amazing year in general!

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Shelley - posted on 01/29/2009

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My husband's friend's sister knew a young couple from Washington. She told us that the expecting mother was 4 months along and needed to find a couple to adopt their baby. Our friend's sister called us and we were in awe!!! So we met up with the birthparents every month or so till our little boy was born. It was awesome to actually meet the birthparents and go along with them to the ultrasound appointments. We were even there with the birthparents in the birthing room at the hospital!!  After our son, Nicholas was born, we keep in touch by writing them quarterly to update Nicholas' progress.



 



Favorite part of adoption story: Our little boy is here :)

Amanda - posted on 01/29/2009

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I guess our adoption was pretty standard compared to some of these surprises. We tried to get pregnant for over 4 years before we decided to adopt. After completing our homestudy and waiting almost a year, we got a call that a birthmom and birthdad had chosen our profile and wanted to meet us. We met them a week later and it was so nerve racking. We didn't know what to say and what not to say! It's like the job interview of your life!! We left the meeting thinking things went fine, but before we even got out of the building the birthparent's social worker met us at the front lobby and said they had chosen us and that we should go back up.

The birthmother was due in about 5 weeks from that first meeting, so for the next month we met with the birthparents and their social worker about once a week, to get to know each other. I got to go to one of the birthmother's doctor's appointments and hear the heartbeat, although somehow I never did get a picture of the ultrasound.

We got a call on a Saturday morning that the birthmother was in labor, so we quickly went to the hospital and spent the next two days waiting out her labor in the waiting room. We were in the waiting room together with family members of the birthparent's, including the birthfather's dad, who was very against the adoption and let us know it. I think those two days might have been the most difficult part of the process, but finally at 9:50 pm on the second day our son was born. We didn't get to meet him until after everyone else had met him and said goodbye to him. I was so sure that the family was trying to change the birthparent's mind that I literally couldn't sit still and I couldn't stop crying. But finally everyone left and at 1 am that morning the birthfather came to get us and the birthmother was holding our son and handed him to us. I didn't know what to say, Thank you just isn't enough for the amazing gift that our birthparent's give us.

In the state of vermont the legal risk period is 21 days, but from the day the birthparent's see the judge. Since our son was born on Labor Day weekend, nice touch huh?, we had our son for 28 days before he was legally ours and we didn't have to worry about the birthparent's changing their mind. The adoption was finalized when our son was 6 months old, but we have had him since he was 3 hours old.

My favorite part of adoption is that we have a family. I know it's cliche but it's everything. Without adoption we wouldn't be parents and we wouldn't know our gorgeous son! In the end all the heartache and pain is so worthwhile isn't it??

Susan - posted on 01/27/2009

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My favorite parts of our first adoption: 1) the birth mother, who did not have much of a relationship with her own father or the birth father, discovered that my husband did a lot of the legwork for our photo album - she realized that he really did want to be involved as a loving father. 2) she invited us to meet our son on his birthday. 3) she gave us the sonagram pictures and other pregnancy memorabilia. 4) she insisted that she officially hand him to us before he was discharged from the hospital - tear-jerker!



My favorite part of our second adoption (12/9/08): the birth mother (different one) wanted to make the "hand-off" official as well, so we have similar stories to tell both boys as they get older.



Overall, I love the euphoria that gets you through the sleeplessness and laundry!

Kristan - posted on 01/19/2009

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I have two bio boys and we adopted our daughter internationally. The love affair between my boys and my daughter was instant and has continued to melt my heart ever since bringing her home.



EArly in the process I picked a Russian name because we thought we were adopting from Russia. My husband and boys, liked the name, but the boys found a name they liked better and during the wait started calling the baby we dreamed of by that name, so it eventually caught on and the Russian name I picked was not going to be.



We changed countries, to Kaz, and prior to leaving for our trip, I said to my husband, what if her given name is Karina? He said, what are the chances of that happening and blew me off. He was right.



Several days later on the other side of the world an adorable little girl was carried in to a room to meet us. When I asked what her name was, you can imagine our surprise when they said, Karina! I don't believein coincidences!

Shanon - posted on 01/16/2009

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My FAV part of our two adoptions is how GOD worked through them.  To hear the 'back' story from the agency we used, just sends chills down our spines.



Our son's BM thought she was going into labor and called a large known agency that told her to 'Call back when she stopped crying and being hysterical', so she called our little non-profit agency.  The social worker talked to her for hours upon hours until BM was calm enough to drive to agency that handled everything from there...  we had the priveledge of being present during his birth a month later!



Our daughter's adoption was a bit more difficult.  Dec. 4, 06 We actually had a little boy in our home that by court order had to relinquish to another family on Jan. 4, 07... we had decided in Nov. . 2006 that we would remove our names at end of Dec. if nothing happened by EOY.  We were really devastated and confused on WHY this would happen...then 12 days later we were selected by another BM to adopt her little 7m girl.  She actually skipped our letter, returned to it, changed her mind b/c we had a son, but then returned to us and said she just had to meet us...so God was in that b/c we would have removed our names from the list if we hadn't been blessed to have Joey in ou family for a month...and then we were in mourning and not thinking about being selected, etc. to have our names removed before Shelbie came into our family.  Of course we had a challenge during the 'waiting' period from the BF contesting, refusing to act on court orders, etc.  but in August 2007 our little girl was officially ours!



 



Now of course, we probably won't go "LOOKING" to adopt again, but are always open to what the Lord has for us  SMILE!

Emily - posted on 01/14/2009

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Our adoption story is not a "traditional" one. My husband and I married in September of 2001. Two months later, my sister-in-law was killed, leaving behind her 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter, Jysenia. The children have different birth fathers. Her son was able to go live with his father, but since Jysenia's birth father was not exactly an upstanding individual the family decided that she should stay with me and my husband.



We quickly established a legal custody arrangement between ourselves and the birth father which became increasingly frustrating due to the lack of apparent interest on the part of "bio-dad". We had a specific visitation schedule that he would rarely follow. Most of the time he didn't even bother to show up for visits nor call to cancel.



After an 18-month time period went by in which we heard not a peep from him, he decided to come back into the picture, aided by a new girlfriend. It was at this point that we approached the subject of adopting Jysenia to him. Funny thing was, he didn't do much of the objecting - his family did. We decided to go ahead with the adoption through the courts anyway, in order to give Jysenia the permanent legal family she deserved and also so that we would have 100% legal responsibility for her.



The court proceedings dragged on for almost a year. Even for multiple court dates...bio-dad would pull his "no show" act. Finally, in June of 2005, the judge made her ruling to revoke all parernal rights from Jysenia's birth father and granted us the adoption. Instead of accepting that outright, we decided to incorporate 3 monthly visitation days for bio-dad into the adoption agreement. Those days were rarely taken advantage of by him.



It's now been almost 2 years since we have been contacted by bio-dad. Jysenia, now 9, sometimes wonders; why? We tell her that some people just don't realize what a special thing they had and that perhaps he just doesn't know how to include himself in her life. We often talk about her birth mother and who she was and what her kids meant to her.



Jysenia and her 1/2 brother see each other often and have a close relationship. During the court proceedings, my husband and I welcomed a baby boy - Jysenia's new Brother - into our family (the "old fashioned" way). We are fortunate that Jysenia was so young when she lost her birth mother, so she didn't have to go through the pain of knowing the specifics of what happened to her. I'm still not yet to the point of being able to explain those details to her. Soon though as she is getting mature enough to understand.



 



I have two favorite parts about our adoption:



1. The first time Jysenia switched from calling me "Aunt Emmy" to "Mommy"



2. Making our family legally complete!

Lori - posted on 01/11/2009

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We adopted Lora in a private, open adoption. We tried for six years to conceive, but my infertility is unexplained. We did a few science experiments, none of which worked. So we turned to adoption.

And we basically did it by word-of-mouth. We wrote one of those "Dear Birth mother" letters, along with a letter to all of our family and friends letting them know that we were looking. We sent it out in December of 1999. We met one young lady and things were looking good, but 19 days before the due date, she and her boyfriend reunited and decided to keep their baby. Not only was the nursery all ready and waiting, my husband's family had planned a surprise shower for me that week. I told him to tell them NOT to cancel it.

In the mean time, a friend of a friend of a friend gave a friend our letter and she called us. For a brief time we were planning for two baby girls due two months apart!

We did not meet Lora's birth mother until she was in the hospital. A month before her due date, her water broke but she did not go into labor. We had to wait an agonizing week for them to induce!

Lora was born on Jan. 26, 2001. My husband and I were out in the hall (I understood not wanting us in the room), holding our breath. My daughter was born in the same hospital I was born in, and I remember thinking, "I wonder if this is how my dad felt..."

Just moments after Lora was born, the nurse told us to go in. Her birth mother was holding her and said, "Are you ready to hold your daughter?"

We have a wonderful relationship with "G" and her family. Good Friday has become our annual reunion day with all the cousins and family members. I want Lora to see "her people" and find ones she looks like (there is an ethnicity involved). She also has a half-sister and I want them to have a relationship as well.

My favorite part was, the hospital staff creating a little room for us in the back of the pediatric ICU for us to be with our new baby. And one of the nurses was a high school classmate! The entire staff of the hospital treated us great and went out of their way to make us feel at ease.

And, if she asks, I will tell my daughter that "G" did not give her away. She gave her to me.

Jessica - posted on 12/11/2008

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We formed our family the "old fashioned" way, with a daughter and a son, who are 10 and almost eight now. We thought it was complete until last December, when
a teenage girl we knew through church (my husband is a minister and her aunt and uncle are members with us) brought it to the church's attention that she was considering adoption, and she wanted a Christian family for her child. She also wanted an open adoption so that she would have the peace of mind of knowing where he was and that he was well cared for. My husband and I were talking and going through all the names of couples at church who might adopt him (we weren't considering ourselves-we had just made sure we couldn't have more and were enjoying the freedom that having older children brings!). We have a pretty small congregation and all the couples of the right age group seemed to be getting ready to have their second or third babies already. Suddenly my husband blurted out "We could adopt Bree's baby", and I said "yeah, right-if we weren't done having babies we could". That moment planted the seed and we started talking and thinking (and praying) more about it. Then I mentioned to her aunt that we were thinking about it, she relayed the message to Bree, and the rest is history. We all sat down together and discussed things, of course, but it was decided pretty quickly. It's a good thing, too. He was due April 19th, and was born April 9th. I guess three months to prepare is a lot compared to those of you who had 24 hours notice! We traveled to Arkansas, bm's home state, to be there for his birth and had to stay for a week until ICPC approval came through. It was a whirlwind week, and brother and sister were waiting (not so patiently) at home to meet him. He has just fit right into this family. We are all in "baby love"! He even looks like my daughter's baby pictures. My favorite part of our story is that we weren't even looking for him-he found us, and now we don't know what we'd do without him!

Laura - posted on 12/11/2008

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We adopted Parker domesically as an infant also. We found out in Feb of 04 that I was unable to bear children and began the adoption process. We were told it would be 1 yr to 18 months minimum. Well, 3 months to the day of starting the process we brought Parker home from the hospital. We had no real notice...a matter of 24 hours to get EVERYTHING! He has been the perfect addition to our family.



We used to have a lot of contact with his Bmom, but not so much now. (she has another child now and she was very young) She has not seen him since he was 3 months old, although we do send pictures.



My favorite part of the adoption story: Parker being my son.

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