Kelly - posted on 05/12/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
My daughter was born early this week. I had a relationship with her biological father while I was going through a divorce but decided to go back to my husband. Against the wishes of the biological father, we've decided to put my husband on the birth certificate. Our attorney said m ex stands only a small chance on winning paternity rights given the circumstances, and court cases I've researched have confirmed that. My husband will be her "real father" since her biological father does not live close enough to be one. I told him that I don't know what type of relationship he thinks he's going to have with my daughter from where he's living, but said he can visit if he thinks he can handle it. I don't want my daughter to think I kept her bio father from her. So far things have been going great here and everybody sees what a great man my husband is for stepping up and doing what the biological isn't doing.
He's not happy about this but I've tried to explain since he's not close enough to enjoy full rights then there's no reason for him to have any responsibility. I said open adoptions work well for children in similar situations. It hasn't been easy so far he seems like he's playing the victim and trying to make me feel guilty. It could potentially cause annoyances and interference in my marriage. Any ideas on how to deal with him? Probably just something he needs to learn to accept and it will work itself out? How about if he does visit? How should I explain who he is if she has a "real father" here that she calls dad and that raises her?