Braden and Erin
Karen - posted on 01/14/2009
Hi there Sunshine. Yeah, i think i realized over Christmas that i was complaining unnessarily. When I got ill with In Vitro (i hyperstimulated) she came and stayed with us for 2 days helping to take care of me and take Braden out of the house. We did our special Christmas get together as usual too. She actually looks to me as a mentor in her life which is incredibly special - but also a little hard as I need to not be the only older woman voice in her life. Her mom is incredible and we visit with her all the time and Braden considers her his Grammy.
I think what i've been noticing over this last year is just a big change in his birth mother. we've since talked a lot about it and she is just hurting. she's unsure whether being around him is best for him as she feels such guilt for not keeping him. she loves him so much it hurts her to be with him. yet she thinks about him all the time she wants and loves being with him. it's just a long process that is taking years. i now realize it may be there forever. how could it not? in the meantime we are stoked to be part of their lives in such an intimate way. and when the months tick by when we don't hear from her despite our attempts to connect - will trust that it will come back round again. we're all too close to have it just wane. but seasons are ok. hmm.. i'm still learning.
what an amazing gift. it's changed her forever. and me too.
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