Jen - posted on 02/11/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
What do your kids call their birth mother or birth father?
We started as semi open adoption and have progressed to open adoption. We met with / seen my son's birth mother when he was 2 months, 8 months, 15 months, 21 months, and at his 3rd birthday party. Other than the first two visits, she has brought her four older children with her. They range in age from 4-9.
My son turned 3 in October, and has been speech delayed. He's quite verbal now (although sometimes difficult to understand) and now refers to most people by name or title or description. (Mommy, PopPop, Doctor, or just Lady if he's saying hi to someone in the grocery store lol.) Anyway, since he was born and we knew we'd have some level of relationship with his birthmom, I've wondered what I would like him to call her. So far I've always refered to her by her first name when talking to him about her., but I don't want her to just be any other random adult in his life. On the other hand, I don't think I'm comfortable sharing my 'Mommy' name with her. At this point, he doesn't understand what adoption is and who she is to him, but I feel that this time of his life (starting to recognize who has what role in his life) can be a critical point in how he views who she is to him for the rest of his life.
Thoughts? What do your children call their birth parents? Have there been any emotional issues for them because of this?