Carolyn - posted on 02/15/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )
My son was removed from his birth mother at age 2 1/2 and placed in foster care. He was placed with us at age 9 with the plan to adopt. We finalized the adoption at age 11. He is now 18 years old, married with a baby. They live with us.
My son met his wife in 9th grade. They dated most of the way through high school and got married last month. She has always known me as his mother and my daughter-in-law calls me Mom too. A couple of months ago, after he turned 18, he was reunited with his birth mother with assistance from a half sister he reunited with a couple of years ago. However since my son was reunited with his birth mother she refers to her as his Mom too which actually gets confusing to my son. The first time she did it I corrected her that I am Mom and that we refer to Birth Mom by her first name (which is how my son refers to her anyway). My daughter-in-law continues to call her his Mom which bothers me and it confuses my son. How should I address this? They only have sporadic contact. Birth mom is not trying to take my place. She understands he has another mother and father. Should I correct my daughter in law the next time or just let it go? I didn't say anything at all the last time.