Just starting out

Catherine - posted on 03/07/2011

We started the adoption simlar but ours was a relative of someone we knew in another state. It was very confusing at first but once we picked a adoption agency they walked us through everything. I'm sure every agency is different but our steps included some classes with them, medical evulation, and home study. I was very nervous of the home study but throughout most of the process I was overly expectant of what they want. Unfortunately, that person changed their mind on us but we continued on with the adoption agency and got our daughter. It was the best thing we have every done and she completes us.

Sue - posted on 01/01/2011

We also adopted from a cousin's daughter. Everyone here is right - you will need a home study but it is not as intimidating as one might think! If the cousin lives in the same state as you that will make it less painful! (no Interstate Compact) It is still costly but well worth it in the end. We are so blessed and love our baby girl so!!! The birth mother has seen her once in the nine months that we have had her and I am sure will see her periodically throughout her life. We plan on being totally open with the baby as well as friends and family so she knows that she was adopted and who her birth mother is always. Make sure you get a lawyer who has done adoptions before and knows what they are talking about. You will want to make sure it is legal and above board all the way so there is no problems later on. We started with a lawyer who really didn't do adoptions and he gave us incorrect information which caused delays and issues during the process especially since she came early. Good Luck and best wishes! When people ask me if it is all I thought it would be I can honestly say it is sooooo much better!!! We are so blessed! Good Luck

Kim - posted on 07/18/2010

Thank you all that replied, I appreciate all the advice, and I welcome more.

Cathy - posted on 07/08/2010

You will need the home study-- we were able to do ours for $1500 and it took six-weeks. You'll definitely want to get either an agency or an attorney. My stongest suggestion is an agency that would be willing to represent you with your cousin, should that work out, but also because if it doesn't work out, you'll still be on your way to adopting a baby.

You'll want to work out all the details about the adoption, and being one that's family makes it more tricky. You'll have to have an open adoption, but the question becomes if you'll tell your child that their birth parent is your cousin or not. Family adoptions work, but they have unique problems that come with them.

It can't hurt to use an agency and get things started. You'll at least be in line for a family, and if your cousin decides to follow through with you and your husband adopting the baby, you'll have everything you need, including the agency to act on your behalf in court.

Good luck! Adoption is an amazing way to create a family and I wish you well on your journey!!
:)
Cathy

Sarah - posted on 07/04/2010

I agree with Susan. You will need an approved home study before you are able to adopt. Home studies will take anywhere from 3-6 months to be completed, so you need to contact an adoption agency right away. I would encourage both you and the teenage cousin to get involved with the adoption agency. She should get involved with a birth parent counselor if she has not already done so. Counseling is SO important in the process. Once the baby is born it is VERY hard to follow through with the adoption plan even if you have family support. The counselor will help prepare her for that birthing experience and talk about what it will be like due and after labor. That counseling is SO very important...those that don't have counseling often don't follow through with the adoption.

Susan - posted on 07/02/2010

In my home state you must have an approved home study completed before you can adopt, even privately. Home studies take quite a while, so you may want to contact an agency and verify what is required by the state you live in. A home study would involve a criminal background check, personality tests, interviews with a social worker, and recommendations from friends. It seems intimidating at first but it's not really that terrible. It is an additional expense though. I read somewhere that the price varies quite a bit from state to state. The range I've seen is $1500 - $4000, plus fees for the background checks (charged by the government not the agency).
I hope this helps you some. My husband and I have been working on adopting from Russia for more than two years now. The home study took about 6 months.
If you want more info, feel free to contact me. :)
Susan