Julie - posted on 02/04/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )
We met our new birth mother a little over a week ago after just having gone through a failed adoption three weeks prior. Our previous birth mother changed her mind one week before the baby was due. With our last birth mom, we talked of a semi-open adoption with 3 to 4 visits per year and monthly letters and pictures. We thought our new birth mom (a YOUNG 19 year old) had agreed to this; however she has decided that she wants to be more of the "cool aunt". I am not sure exactly what that means, but I do know she wants to see us and the baby more than 4 times a year. I have the feeling that she wants to "hang out". Had this been the previous birth mom, I would have been more agreable. I had gotten to know her and like her. This new birth mom is very cute, but oh so young and I don't know if I could deal with the "drama" that may come with her life. I am also scared of getting close again because of the last situation.
I don't want to be selfish, she is giving us her baby... but does anyone have any suggestions? Does anyone have an open adoption like this? Does it work for you? How did you make it work?
If she wants to see us more throughout the year, I am ok with that I suppose, but just scared of what it could lead to.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.