QUESTION !!! 4MONTH SINGLE PREGNANT 21 YEAR OLD. . .SHOULD I PUT MY CHILDS FATHER ON CHILD SUPPORT FOR ABANDONING ME DURING THIS TIME??????

Kareema - posted on 04/03/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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BASICALLY HE JUST GOT REAL NAUNSHALUNT AND LEFT ME OUT IN THE COLD WITH MY FIRST PREGNANCY. . . .YOUNG STYLIST ALWAYS WORKING AND IN SCHOOL. . .IM EXTREMLY HURT BY THIS! HE DOESENT EVEN CALL TO CHECK UP ON ME . . .HE JUST DOSENT CARE THAT IM CARRYING HIS LIL GIRL SMH . . .I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS THIS WOULD BE ME. I SAID IMA STILL GIVE HER HIS LAST NAME BUT I THINK SINCE ITS ALREADY HEADED DOWN THE WRONG PATH ITS NOT GONNA CHANGE

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Jodiann - posted on 05/14/2012

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Hi Kareema congrats on your pregnancy. For what I hair you are a strong young lady who is doing what she has to do for yourself and your soon to be child. The only advice I could give you is from my own personal experience. I was with my kids father for 8 1/2 yrs before we broke up and when we did it wasn't pretty. I took him to court for full custody because of medical reasons but the judge added the child support. right now I'm a single mother with two jobs, my own place and I'm happy cause I have control over my life. The point I'm making is this your doing a good job right now by taking care of your self, don't give him the control by wasting time wondering why he doesn't care. Once I stopped caring so much about him being a no call, no show and just started EXPECTING it, it made it much easier to deal with UNTIL he showed me other wise.I don't know the laws of your state but its something to look into maybe you have to wait to file once your child is born I don't know. But two things I really want to say is one, I really think you should give your baby his last name. regardless how hurtful he is being don't take on his personality worry about your child and what's best for him/her. Besides your family the baby has another set of family (fathers family) members too. I know being the bigger person is hard but trust me when I say you get a lot of peace and with time hopefully he turns around and do the right thing. My kids father did once I took control of the situation and was the bigger person. And I ALWAYS thought about what was best for my kids and not what I really wanted to do. I wish you nothing but the best.

Jeorge - posted on 04/21/2012

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I don't know what the rules are in your state but you can't put him on the birth certificate with out his signature or a DNA test in most states. Don't give her his last name it will be hard for her(with him not being around) and for you because it will be a reminder. I hate to say this but you need to stop thinking of him as a good guy. A good guy doesn't walk away from the woman who is having his baby. A good guy stands by you and supports you. Love you and goes to your appointments to hear his babies heartbeat. This may be a blessing that you see his true colors now and not ten years down the road three kids from now. I don't know your situation he may just be scared and confused and just needs a moment to catch his breath before he steps up. For you and your daughters sake I hope that's the case

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Ellie Richardson - posted on 05/10/2012

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The same thing also happened to me with my first daughter. I was 21 as well. I commend you for doing your thing and handling your business. It certainly sounds like dejavu for me cause I've been down the road where ur traveling and its not an easy one but I think you'll be just fine. I put my daughters father on child support cause he left the state with out saying a word and I had my child all by myself and gave my last name. I hardly get anything from him financially. Now my daughter just turned 11 years old. Im married now and have two kids with my husband and my husband has been in my oldest daughters life since she was three months old. Let this situation be a stepping stone of wisdom and next time you can really choose someone that is everything this guy is'nt. I would put him on child support if I were u. I hope and pray he's not as bad as my daughters father cause I dont get NA DA FROM OLD BOY.GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PRECIOUS BABY!

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