3 weeks old and won't sleep in crib.

Kristin - posted on 10/06/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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Am I wrong for letting my 3 week old sleep in bed with me? He fusses when I put him in his crib, but is ok when I lay him on a pillow next to me. Is he too young for me just to let him cry it out? It's the only way I get sleep. He has bad gas also.

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Linde - posted on 10/06/2009

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I bought a used Arms Reach Cosleeper on craigslist and I love it. It can be used as a stand alone bassinet or be pulled up next to the bed with the rail down. I'm too scared of letting her sleep in the bed with me. We use a "sleep sheep", a stuffed sheep that plays ocean, rain, heartbeat, and whales. She really likes the white noise. I also just got a sleep positioner so she can sleep on her side. When she is very fussy sometimes swaddling her (I call it blanket jail) really calms her down. The idea is to try to recreate the womb as close as you can. Babies at this age cannot be spoiled with attention so it's probably best not to let him cry it out. My baby has bad gas as well and sometimes she will push and push and nothing. I use the "thermometer trick" by taking her temperature rectally. This ALWAYS makes her relieve some gas and poop. Good luck, mama

Kristin - posted on 10/06/2009

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I've done all of that. I'm staying with my parents while my husband is in Afghanistan and I have a pack-n-play with a bassinet next to the bed, but he just wakes right up. I've also been putting Mylicon in every bottle and it was helping for a while, but it's kinda like faded away. He sleeps good in his swing, but I can't have that big thing in my room. I was also wondering if it seems cruel to lay him down and if he wakes up fussing to just let him fuss, he's only 3 weeks, does that seem too soon to let them lay there screaming?

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Lesley - posted on 10/09/2009

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My daughter is 3 months and she will take naps, say 1-2 hours TOPS, in her crib but she hates waking up alone. Hates it. I think letting a baby that young cry it out is horrible but it IS dangerous to have the baby sleep with you in bed without some sort of barricade around him/her. What we did (and still do) is a combination of using a cosleeper and her bouncy seat. If she's asleep in her bouncy seat, I don't move her, just put her between us in bed. If not, she goes into the cosleeper (or pack and play/bassinet) right next to the bed. I know some people are of the 'tough love' school but a newborn is adjusting to our world and just wants comfort - let them figure out how tough life is later on, you know?

Joanne - posted on 10/09/2009

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Same here...A good read is Dr. Sears take on "Co-sleeping". It put my mind at ease. I bought a Snuggle Nest and it is a safe sleeper that goes into the bed with my hubby and I so that we don't roll over on her in the night.....and it can eventually be used in the crib for transitioning the baby to sleep in the crib again....

Rhonda - posted on 10/08/2009

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My baby is now 9 months old, but we went through the same thing. I made sure that she was no where near a pillow and pulled the sheet and comforter back so that they could not accidentally get over her face. I wouldn't lay him on the pillow, just flat on the bed beside you and yes, he's too young to cry it out. I did a LOT of reading on that, and if you're going to do it, don't do it until he's AT LEAST 6 months old. Too young, and it can create a detachment and mistrust issue in the little babes. My daughter also had bad gas problems -- Little Tummys gas drops were a God send!

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Have you picked up the book The Baby Whisperer? It's a great book with a lot of solutions. Again, i'm not so strict w/ her tips, but they've definitely helped. Number one thing especially since your baby is 3 weeks old...they love to be swaddled and tight. That will most likely help if you're not doing that already. And it's just that you've gotten into the habit of putting your baby in your bed and the swing, which I did myself in the beginning...but i love having my bed to myself and not worrying about squishing them or having the covers over there. We did put a wedge under our baby's matress in her bassinett since she was having alot of reflux. And that also helped her like her bassinett. And also sometimes they don't like being completely on their back, so we've put a wedge on her so she's a little tilted which she likes. Goodluck!

Carla - posted on 10/08/2009

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We had the same problem with our son when he was newborn up until he was about 8 months old...he hated his crib. We never put him in bed with us though, he wouldnt sleep in his bassinet, the only place he would sleep was in his swing, we had one of the Boppy ones where it cradled around him, when he outgrew that we let him sleep in the bouncy seat. We tried each night to put him in his crib and eventually he would sleep longer and longer in it, if you put him in his crib try placing a Boppy pillow in there and prop him up, it may be that he is not comfortable laying flat, that seemed to be the problem with our son. If you prop him up make sure to put a blanket under him where it keeps him in place so he doesnt slide down, I know they say dont let them sleep with the boppy in their bed but it worked for us and we just made sure he wouldnt slide down. If he is gassy this will help him sleep b/c he is propped up and it wont be so hard on his belly. If this doenst work try the bouncy seat or even the car seat, alot of babies have this problem, you will eventually find a way that is comfortable with you both, but keep putting him in the crib from time to time or else he wont sleep in it and when he gets bigger you will have the same problem of him not wanting to sleep in it. Good Luck!!!

Hanna - posted on 10/08/2009

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Our daughter had some gas problems too, and as a pillow could be dangerous, we raised the top of her matress by stuffing towels or the changing mat underneath. with the sleep positioner sort of wedging her in she didn't slide too far down...lol. Anyhow that definitely seemed to help; we couldn't really put her down flat until close to 5 months, as that seemed to make her really sore

Courtenay - posted on 10/07/2009

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my son also sleeps with me usually after the morning feed i fall asleep in bed and he just stays there.... lots of ppl say its bad but hey ur the mother and its ur choice as long as u feel confortable and trust urself that u will not roll on him/her then i dont see a problem as i do the same thing.. its about us getting sleep jsut as much as our child i believe.... the gas problem i say comes from his father lol...

Robin - posted on 10/07/2009

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From the start I let my son take naps on me, but at night he always slept in his bassinette in our room until he slept through the night at 2-3 mo old, and when we switched to his crib we put familiar things in there so he wouldnt feel like he was in a strange new bed, never had a prob.

At three weeks I would give some more time, that is still very tiny!

Kristine - posted on 10/07/2009

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my daughter slept with me for the first 5 wks. The only way I could get her to sleep was if she was laying on my chest. it took me about a week to get her used to her crib, now she sleeps thru the night in her crib and we nap together during the day.

Xoe - posted on 10/07/2009

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I did exactly the same thing. When my little boy was born he wouldn't sleep in a cot or a moses basket. He ended up sleeping in his vibrating rocker. After a few weeks we tried to coax him into sleeping in his moses basket and he would scream so the only way was to let him cuddle up to me in bed. He's 6 months old now and will sleep in his cot for part of the night then comes in with me for the last couple of hours. I've found that even though i am asleep i still know he's there because when my partner tried to move him away from me, i then pulled jack closer towards me...its a mother thing lol.
I don't think your wrong for letting little one sleep in the bed with you, but you just have to be careful not to jiffle about to much and roll onto the baby, or accidently let the baby fall out of the bed. Over time you can get the little one to move into a moses basket or a cot for part of the night until little one is settled all night through :-) x

Laura - posted on 10/07/2009

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First of all, thank you for your husband's service to our country, I'm sure this must be a very difficult time for you. You may want to try some infant massage with nightime lotion. Are you swaddling? They do make some really cool velcro swaddling blankets (I was never very good at swaddling on my own). I also had gassy babies and I rubbed their little bellies-I think they recommend clockwise rubbing but look it up 'cause it could be counterclockwise (I don't have the best memory!!). Good luck and agian, thank you for all that you and your husband are doing for us!

Timbrel - posted on 10/07/2009

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my daughter sleeps with us also...we love it it makes us so much closer to her and she feels comfort and closeness and safe. our doctor said he actually recommends it for her and her mentality...even if we did it for up to a year...which i wouldnt even mind because i love snuggling with her. but it helps the babies bond and not only bond they feel someone with them. and it helps them cope and grow more stable. i was reading and its not good for a baby to cry themselves to sleep...it builds a sense of abandonement and neglect...when they cry and you pick them up it builds their trust in you...i mean letting them cry for 5-10 mins is ok but not more than that..but if you dont want her in your bed have you tried lettin her fall asleep in your bed then transferring her to the crib so that when she wakes up she is in the crib and gets used to it.?

Jillian - posted on 10/07/2009

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my daughter slept with me til she was about 5 wks cuz she wouold cry in the crib. but around 5 weeks, i decided to try the crib and she slept in it so well so now shes been sleepin in her crib ever since and shes been sleeping all night ever since as well. shes 3 months now

Jessica - posted on 10/07/2009

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I still co-sleep with my daughter now. She used to sleep fine in her crib but i got into a habit of putting her in my bed when my partner went to work (he did night shift) even though i love co-sleeping its a very hard habit to break. Ive tryed many times to get her back into the cot, but she always ends in my bed after 5 or so hours. Try get bub to sleep in his crib, but if its the only way to get sleep stick to it. Just remember its a problem you will have to deal with one day.

Sarah - posted on 10/06/2009

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Co-sleeping is fine - so long as you're not drinking, using any drugs, or are excessively overtired. Our midwife told us not to worry if we co-slept, as you won't crush or roll over onto the baby. I read an article recently that described how the mom & babe both sleep lighter while co-sleeping, but sleep longer & the mom finds the sleep more satisfying than a shorter sleep with the baby not in the room. Our midwife also advised that newborns don't like to feel alone - they crave the closeness & being able to feel your heartbeat. I don't think I would be using a pillow though - I would be laying the baby flat on the bed with it's head aligned to reach your breast for easy feeding during the night. The times I've had to co-sleep to soothe my daughter I've put her on the breast, laid down & we snooze together.

Nicola - posted on 10/06/2009

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my little girl wouldnt sleep in a moses basket so i put her straight in a cot and she sleeps in there fine try putting him in there in the day to get him used to in for his naps even if he comes out after 5 mins it does get irritating but it worked with my daughter and she sleeps all night in her own cot now! for the gas my lil girl had bad colic so i brought dr brown bottles they have hepled but i changed her milk to comfort first (cow and gate) its lactose free and gentler on there tummys and now im screaming free! ask your health visitor before you do anything with food first though you could try infacol before a feed aswell good luck i know how you feel!

Carlita - posted on 10/06/2009

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I wouldnt suggest letting a baby that young just cry it out. I think it's fine my daughter didnt start sleeping on her own until she was 5 months...and even now i have to wait until she's completly asleep to sneak her in her bed. He hasnt started sleeping through the night so I think its ok, but one he starts try letting him sleep on his own

Krista - posted on 10/06/2009

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It is wrong to allow your 3 week old baby to lay there screaming. Childbirth isn't just traumatic for you, think of how it was and is for him. he spent nearly 10 months in your warm body, being soothed by the rythmic sound of your heartbeat, then he was squeezed out of your body into a cold world, wrapped up tight in a blanket to keep him warm and layed in a bed to sleep alone. Do not worry about your baby sleeping with you, I think it's great. He still needs to be close to you, being warmed by your body and soothed by the beat of your heart. Babies belong close to their their mothers, childbirth doesn't change that. Soak it up girlfriend, all too soon he won't need you anymore. And on the whole "screaming it out" thing....we all learn soon enough that the world is a harsh place where we are often overlooked, we shouldn't learn that from our mothers.

Christinia - posted on 10/06/2009

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Its not good to have them sleeping with you all night..Try putting him down after he's been asleep for awhile that may help..Also can try to give him a bath before bedtime then give him his feeding Its been known to work but its different with each baby. My son wouldn't sleep either but I tried that a couple times and it work...If he's gassy try giving him some of the gas relief drops that may help. Here's another tip..Try putting a bassinet beside your bed that way little munchkin knows your close.

Jessica - posted on 10/06/2009

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Same here my baby girl always wants 2 sleep with me in bed and refuses 2 sleep in her crib n that is the only way i get sleep also. I really don't know what 2 tell u but i guess since that's the only way they fall asleep n let you sleep a bit i say let's do it but be careful not 2 turn or move that much because remember ur munchkin is right next 2 u.

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