A question for parents who have children with unusual/unique/rare names.

Maxine - posted on 08/19/2009 ( 120 moms have responded )

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I have recently found myself pretty annoyed when i tell my friends and family the name we have chosen for our unborn child, only to have them give thier unwanted and usually hurtfull opinon back... as if we were asking them their opinion, not telling them the name we have lovingly chosen for our child. It might be because im an emotionl pregnant woman, but anyone else have problems with unfeeling people thinking that thier opinion of our chosen childs name is important? I am pretty annoyed about this right now, but im too nice to say anything... a good rant might make me feel better.. anyone else want to rant? or have and advice on how to not let this bother me, or even help me hold my tongue, please do tell!

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Maxine - posted on 08/19/2009

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Thanks everyone! I have already decided to keep quiet about our chosen name. Our first Daughter is called Guenevere, the original welsh spelling of that famous Artherian legend Queen. My Name is Maxine and though not very rare, i was only one of two Maxine's in my school, so i loved having an individual name, and want to give that to my daughters. My Fiance's name is Ben and he always wished he had something more interesting, so has the same goals as i.



The main challenge for us is finding a name equal to our first daughters name, also sounds lovely, and possibly also the name of a legendary queen or princess (so no teenage 'my name is better than your name' jealousies can occur). We have decided on Eowyn, the name of the Rohan Princess from Lord of the Rings (we are both LoTR's fans). I do agree that others opinons dont matter, and i believe haiving indiviual names makes a persons sense of self far stronger. However, we also gave our first Daughter ordinary middle names (after her great grandmothers) and our new daughter will have her middle names after her grandmothers, so if they then in the future decide they dont like their names, they can use one of their other names. :)

Beth - posted on 08/19/2009

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No offense but there is something to be said for not trying too hard to be ultra creative or unusual when naming your child. If you pick the name of a country or some other type of name (i.e., combinations of names) the likelihood of your child being made fun of only increases. If ADULTS who are close to you can't hold their comments, imagine what kids with imagination and not self-control will say. I know parents name their children lovingly, but sometimes I think the excitement of having a baby gets the better of parents in the creativity department. What might be more important is the meaning of the name a parent chooses - even the child can appreciate that.

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Betty - posted on 12/23/2012

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My TWIN daughters are called Lucy and Cheyenne (Shy - anne) who are aged 15 years. I have 6 sons and another on the way . . . there names are:

Mason(21)
Ronan(18)
Jayden(12)
Abe(9)
Chase(5)
Samson(2)

The newest addition to our family is due in January and his name will be Romeo.

Tennille - posted on 09/04/2009

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My youngest daughters name is very unisex but I am constantly asked why would you name your daughter a boys name. This can be upsetting as I am allowed to name my child whatever I like. I like different names, as my eldest daughter also has a different name as well. You choose whatever name you like for your child and dont let anyone elses opinion deter you. People are entitled to their opinions, but at the end of the day, you choose what name you want.Good luck!!!!

Tamara - posted on 09/04/2009

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oh yeah, My dad keep making comments that My sons name should be daniel like his middle name instead of Roland like we decided. Everytime i talked to him he tried to convince us that Daniel was the way to go. Finally I ended up telling him he would just have to get over it. Roland is his name and Roland it will stay. When we stopped refering to him as the baby and started calling him roland they finally got the message it was nonnegotiable.

Rachel - posted on 08/31/2009

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When I was pregnant, people gave me a lot of crap for choosing a COMMON name! My son was named after his father, who was named for his father, so my son is Michael III. My best friend told me he would get picked on for being the third, but it was my husbands wish to have his son named for him. It always made me feel good to tell people to shut up, and some people will be mad at you for telling them off, but it's really the only time you can get away with it, because they will think "ok, she's pregnant, she's moody and pissy, I better not bring this up again" and voila! You have peace lol

Michelle - posted on 08/31/2009

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My kids all have proper Gaelic (mostly Irish) names. We didn't make them up, and we didn't make up the spellings. I feel perfectly justified in using those names since my husband and I are both Irish American, and I was raised to be proud of my heritage. I have about a hundred cousins with the last name Riley, and my husband even has red hair. And my family still had the gall to turn up their noses at the names we picked.



I just never give people the chance to say anything. Smile real big and talk a lot about how great the name is. Don't stop talking long enough for them to give an opinion. ;) Then change the subject before they have a chance to respond. If they do say anything, pretend you didn't hear or misunderstood. "Oh, I know, it's such a great name! It means 'warrior' in Gaelic. It was the name of a great king. I think spelling it the old fashioned way is so much better. Oh, hey, did you get a new haircut?"



One of my friends is married to an Irishman (as in, born in Ireland), and she's been there a few times. She decided to tell me that people in Ireland don't "really" name their kids that. So I showed her the website that shows all the most popular baby names in Ireland, and all of my kids' names are on it. ;) BTW, my youngest son has the old fashioned version of her husband's name.

Joanna - posted on 08/31/2009

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Most of the time people cannot pronounce the name so instead they make a stupid comment. You can give them the short version and ignore the rest. Good luck.

Courtney - posted on 08/31/2009

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i had the same problem my sister hated to name nahla for my daughter she said dont name her that and she would screw her nose up but when she was born she said its a beautiful name and suits her wait til ur little one is born and it will grow on them and they will have to like it anyway

good luck x =)

oh and alot of inlaws dont like the names lol

Carrie - posted on 08/31/2009

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My daughter is gunna be 6 months on the fifth, and her name is Patience Alfreda Olive Burt, My mother couldn't stand her first name along with many others.They say things like "why'd you pick that?" and "oh..thats different" my mom still can't stand it and calls her Patty which I can't stand but we live in different provinces so I don't have to put up with it much. Before I had her my mom told me that when the nurses asks what her name is tell them that im still thinking, which of course I didn't do, and when she was born I looked at her father and said "our Patience". I've also had people say things about her middle name, "Why are you naming your baby after a food" which hurt a lot cause that is my boyfriends grandmothers name and she passed away a couple years ago and he loved her very much and was really close to her.So I told them right where to go.So no matter what its your baby its your choice..screw what anyone else says i'm the babies name is perfect as it is.

Ashley - posted on 08/26/2009

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I used to get that a lot, but now I just tell them my baby's name proudly and sometimes I get negative feedback and sometimes I don't. What's important is that it totally fits my daughter and we love it!

Britt - posted on 08/26/2009

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I had the same problem with my son Draven. My family kept chaginh his name to raven or dragon. and than tell me i should name him after this person or that. but i just kept telling them that it is my son and i can name him whatever i wanted and i told part of my family that i hate my own name so i guess bad names run in the family

Alesha - posted on 08/26/2009

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I had the exact same thing. It made it harder that we told people what we were having cos then they asked about names and I couldnt NOT tell them. We called our girl Taylor spelt Tayla. People would always go 'oh interesting' thinking it was a boys name and I would have to say - no but spelt T A Y L A. Some people used to say oh wot, y that name!? I was like - Umm cos thats what we want!!! haha. But as sooon as baby is born no one ever said a thing about her name and wen I tel people they now say - ohhh cool!! Even the grandparents think she suits her name.



I HATED opinionated people wen I was pregnant!! They always think they are right and always state their opinions - It was like - ok I didnt ask ur opinion so bye! haha.. Just shut them down as soon as they say something or have a weird look. Just say my husband and I both love the name and thats why we chose it. They can get over it!!

Toniee - posted on 08/26/2009

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hey.

my daughter is called Tayler. when i decided on her name alot of people were like taylor is for a boy bla bla bla.

i wanted a unusual name i like to be differnet as most people out there choose common names thats about today,

Dont worry about peoples comment hun i still get people calling my daughter tyler or kayla its very anoying but i love my daughters name,which ever name you choose is the one for you. xxxx

Alesha - posted on 08/26/2009

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I had the exact same thing. It made it harder that we told people what we were having cos then they asked about names and I couldnt NOT tell them. We called our girl Taylor spelt Tayla. People would always go 'oh interesting' thinking it was a boys name and I would have to say - no but spelt T A Y L A. Some people used to say oh wot, y that name!? I was like - Umm cos thats what we want!!! haha. But as sooon as baby is born no one ever said a thing about her name and wen I tel people they now say - ohhh cool!! Even the grandparents think she suits her name.



I HATED opinionated people wen I was pregnant!! They always think they are right and always state their opinions - It was like - ok I didnt ask ur opinion so bye! haha.. Just shut them down as soon as they say something or have a weird look. Just say my husband and I both love the name and thats why we chose it. They can get over it!!

Jessica - posted on 08/26/2009

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I've been there and I totally know how you feel. We named our little boy Forrest, and when I told my family members they did not hold back on letting us know what they thought of it. They didn't like it. I regretted telling them as soon as I did, because when I'm pregnant and moody and irritable the last thing I need is people telling me they hate the name my husband and I have chosen for our baby. I debated a lot about it, worried it was too "weird" or he'd get made fun of. But my hubby and I both loved the name, we loved the tie to nature, and we realized it was OUR decision and no one else's. And no one else should get to influence it. He's our child, and we get to give him his name. Once he was born, no one said anything, and it seems now that everyone likes his name just fine. It fits him well! You go with what you want, and just block out any comments that you don't appreciate. Once that baby's here the last thing on people's minds will be how unique their name is. By the way- what's the name?? :)

Loren - posted on 08/26/2009

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My son's name is Zephaniah. I always get "but what are you really going to call him". Why would I chose a name for my child and call him something else. I don't get. You need to just let their comments roll. Don't let it get to you. Your pregnant enjoy the good in that and after that enjoy your child. Life is too short to be worried,upset or angry about what people say. I use to get upset I don't any more and I feel better now, then when I used to let things get to me. It takes time,practice and prayer but you can do it.

Carla - posted on 08/26/2009

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I love different names! i hate when someone picks a name that is very common. my girls names are kaylin and kaisley. i wanted their names to be unique

Khamila - posted on 08/26/2009

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I believe you have the right to rant, and I will rant with you. My mother named me Khamila and I've heard the comments spoken about my name behind my back, and at times to my face, and I get very frustracted with not only the fact they don't pronounce the name correct (sometimes not even give any effort). My son's name is Jaiven, if he was a girl then I would have named "her" Mikaelah (pronounced Mickayla). We have the right to give our children unqiue names. It gives our child individuality and makes them different for the good. Not everyone wants to be known has "Chris T.", "Chris F." or the "Other Chris"



Rant until your heart is content! I support you!

Pyppa - posted on 08/26/2009

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my daughters name is aiyana and even though its unusual most people liked it. only you can make the decision. dont be influenced by others

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2009

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I chose not to tell anyone and I mean anyone the names we had chosen for our twins until they were born. I didn't want to hear that your sister's cousin's dog was names that. I figured people would be less likely to say something insulting once they were here and had a face attached to a name. I feel for you. My daughter's name is fairly normal, Lily. But my son's is not, Kyan. I get all kinds of things like "like the pepper?" or "oh, thats different." Oh well, he'll have to get used it. Good luck and don't worry about the haters.

Tawni - posted on 08/25/2009

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I would ignore it. When I told my Mom we were going to name our Son Lacoda she didn't say much but later told me she hadn't liked the name at first but after thinking about it and saying it she grew fond of it. Also, I worked at a coffee stand when I was pregnant so people were ALWAYS asking me what we were going to name him. When I would tell them Lacoda, some people loved it and appreciated how unique it is and others just kind of said oh... and not much else. One woman actual gave me an awful look and lectured me on the meaning of the name. You just have to bite your tongue like you said and remember this is your baby and you should choose a name you and your significant other love

Kristen - posted on 08/25/2009

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My grandma is the only one that I know of that doesn't like my boys' names. They aren't even that unusual. Avery and Evan. She wanted me to pick biblical names. You'll never please everybody so don't bother trying. I gave up a long time ago. As long as you are happy, that's all that matters.

Gayle - posted on 08/25/2009

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I know how you feel, my family & my husbands family seemed to voice their opion alot about thename of our first son because we named him Braxton. They didn't like it because of braxton hicks contraction's, some would say it was wrong to name him after false labor and some just didn't like the name but we didn't care what everybody thought about it because it's our child and we can name him what we want

Brandy - posted on 08/25/2009

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Just ignore them! You and your husband have picked names that are meaningful to YOU. Hold to that!

Vanessa - posted on 08/25/2009

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Like i've read in many responses, its your child. Unless your family and friends are planning on paying for this child, tell them to back off. We just had our first child and we names her Chezza(Che-zza) Analeigha(Ana-Leigh-a) Rose Sherman. We got grief for her 1st name and the double middle name. It was a name my husband and I both feel in love with when we 1st met. That is truely all that should matter...what you and your partner want. Dont let anyone discourage you because a name is something special a parent gives their child. Your family and friends had their chance so tell them to give you yours.

Sarah - posted on 08/25/2009

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I named my son Jimi....like jimi Hendrix. everyone said "no dont name him that or ppl will laugh and think his parents are hippys when he starts school". But i named him that anyway and i couldnt be happier with my decision. Jimi suits him so well and I LOVE it.

Kathryn - posted on 08/25/2009

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you call your child whatever you like i was told that the name i like sounded like lycra!! but didnt stop me! its your choice no one elses!

Charleen - posted on 08/25/2009

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Some people will make comments about any name. I've even had negative comments about my daughter's name after she was born; and let me tell you the people who commented aren't looking at names any more odd than hers. On the other hand, I've had relatives get on my case for wanting to name a son after my father. And Charles Ryan really isn't an out there name.

Kimberly - posted on 08/25/2009

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the names i read on ur replies r pretty awesome props to the mothers who didnt listen to others names r awesome every baby is unique so y not have a name to go with them :-D

Alisha (Allie) - posted on 08/25/2009

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I went through something similar...and still am. I named my daughter Jessalyn and most of my family said it sounded black (no offense to those out there who might take offense) or sounded like a hillbilly. It seemed like every name I considered prior to having her, everyone griped about. I finally said the hell with it and went with the name I wanted and told my family to politely shut up. They seem to like the name now...I think.

Kimberly - posted on 08/25/2009

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i wanted ot name my son ovan b/c my best friend wanted to name his son that when he has a boy so he told me i could take the name, but everyone kept making fun of it and now they just dont like his mmiddle name which is orion b/c i have a friend who named her son rion w/e my baby my son my name his name is jayden orion now, but we all love it me and my husband...w/e u name ur child is meant 4 ur child god has blessed ur child with that name u have given them...ignore others opinion unless u ask for it u no? if i have a girl next pregnancy i will name her parys relyna and i dont care if ne1 else likes it or not me and my husband love it

Arin - posted on 08/25/2009

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I'm naming my daughter Charlie Ann...(after my Papa and Nana)...and people either love it or hate it! "You're naming your little girl Charlie???" I've learned to just let it roll off my back. Family is number one in my book, and my child's name is representing that...and those that don't like it or understand it can enjoy the fact that they can name their own child anything they choose!

Samantha - posted on 08/25/2009

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My daughters name is Angel and when i found out that she was a girl her dad and i made that choice. everyone was against it. and one person who i was friends with a long time ago said its a strippers name. I fought it to, but i made my decision and she has that name now. And everyone tells me all the time, that name fits her perfectly. hold your ground. Your child not theres and if they dont like it, they can name there own kids.



Spelling is your choice.. i have two girls Kaeleigh Hope and Angel Makaelah. Spelt the way i wanted.



I also have neices and nephews with akward names La'Kylen and Sy'Rai. I think its awesome to have unique names names you choose from the heart. Ignore people who think they no more than you...

Cassondra - posted on 08/25/2009

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ignore them. its usually different once the baby is born. my mom didnt like my son's name, Tobias. but affter he was born and we called him Tobi. she was fine. she still doenst like my daughter's name, Konstence. so she calls her by her middle name, Nadine. but i don't really care bc its my kid and i like it and so does my husband. if we didn't then we wouldnt have named them what we did.

Chloe - posted on 08/25/2009

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my daughter's are tenisha and dakota and my sister's hated them n i was like get ova it their my kids ur nieces n they adore the girls no matter wat their names are and my youngest is a boy who is just 5 wks old n we called him jaxon n my sister's love the name hate the spelling n my parents told them they would get ova it lol but we kept jaxon's name to ourselves till he was born n they got ova it wen they saw him

Jennifer - posted on 08/24/2009

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My husband and I named our daughter Kameren Ainsleigh the 1st thing i would get was Kameren? I thought that was a boys name... oh must be the way you spell it. and then i would get Ainsleigh is it a family members name? and the answer is no its not a family name. so i would get where did you find that? the answer to that on is my husband came up with it and we both love it!!! Yes it gets so frustrating when people ask in a negative way. we do have some who ask because they like it and has never heard it befor. good luck and it will get easyer to handle. i think it will change on a case by case situation.

Lesley - posted on 08/24/2009

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From the time i found out i was pregnant with my first child it was a goal of mine to have unique names. My first i kept it a secret until she was born. Her name is Zoey-Rayne Isabell, my second daughters name is Justyce which she gets mistaken for a boy all the time, and my sons name is Kacious which is pronounced like cashus or like cassious clay-muhammed alis original name although i had no idea of this when i named him. So pick what you like and stick to it.

Shannon - posted on 08/24/2009

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If you picked the name of your baby , stick to it . Its your baby and your choice !

Jackie - posted on 08/24/2009

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My sons name is Gryphon-John Alexander *pronounced Griffin*. Both spellings are correct. But we picked Gryphon because it was unique and when looking them up in the baby book it had the better definition. When people look at my strange or make a comment I respond with.... "Gryphon is a good strong old welsh name". If I feel they would appreciate knowing the definition I tell them it means "Fierce Fighting Chief" and I felt it would be a suitable name for my only son. My daughters name is Sydney-Leigh Rose. And I say "its a pretty name for my pretty girl" and "was good enough my mothers good friend stole the name for her daughter!!" You don't need to explain yourself but I found if you say why you picked that name most people actually appreciate the name and change their point of view.

Evelyn - posted on 08/24/2009

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I honestly think that your child's name is your choice. My son is now 2 month's old and after some deep rooted thought during pregnancy i'm glad that I gave Evin the name I did and how I spelled it. It not only has meaning but it's not going to get confused with any other "Evan" out there. I considered naming him after his father but a simple name search on the computer solved that problem. Atleast the name and the way I chose to spell it are going to hopefully keep my son from getting confused with other people with very common names. Yes, he will have to spell his name for people but it puts a bit more protection to his identity.! :) In the end remember that ultimately the baby you are carrying IS YOURS, not anyone else's and if you love the name you have chosen then don't tell people what the name is and reveal it when he/she is born. If yo have told people already, then try not to get on the subject of the baby if you can help it.

Sue - posted on 08/24/2009

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When I first told my husband that I really liked the name Naveen for our daughter he scrunched up his face and asked where I had ever heard that name. I wanted to cry because I had not been able to get the name out of my head for weeks at that point.

There was another pregnant woman in the waiting room that heard our conversation and her mouth dropped at my husbands reaction and me almost bursting into tears. In the end Naveen is her name. It grew on him and it will grow on everyone that loves her. I think it is a beautiful name and can't imagine that she will not like it, but we did give her a plain middle name so she can go by it if she chosses. So, follow your heart. A name will not stop people from loving your baby and those who do not currently like the name will learn to.

Maddison - posted on 08/24/2009

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hi hun ppl did tht to me all i did is stop telling ppl want i was gunna choose for my childs name so tht sloved all of it realy

Brooke - posted on 08/24/2009

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When i told my husband i wanted to name our daughter Novalee he about freaked out. Asking me a million and one questions...But at the end everyone loved her for not her name, but who she was.
My daughter spent 15 months in a hospital...and everyone knew her by her NAME...Once you said Novalee, they all knew who she was. If they didn't know her, they heard of her name.
So...make it what YOU want. It's your child. Are they going to have something to say about how you raise her/him. If they do..are you going to listen to them, or do what you WANT to do.

Kassie - posted on 08/24/2009

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My sons name is Adler James. Some of my family sneered at the name Adler and were gonna try to just call him AJ or James. I correct anyone who tries to call him by these shortened version of his name. Also some of the ugly looks we get soften when we tell people Adler means eagle and his daddy wanted him to have a name having to do with flying since he is a pilot. So not that you need to justify your name but if there is a meaning behind how or why you picked it sometimes you can add that to the name you picked and not get such harsh critism from people.

Kristy - posted on 08/23/2009

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i completly understand!why shouldn't it bother u?u rant all u want! i'm a huge fan of "unique" names.if i let my partner choose our 4 boys names they would be names like bill,bob orted(not that i'm hav'n a go at anyone who chooses these names lovingly 4 their children!)the only thing i can think of is to just ignore the critisism and embrace the positive reactions.i'd love to hear the name u have planned 4 ur lil 1(if u don't mind). my last lil one was born in may this year and his name is oberon-obi 4 short.i couldn't imagine him with any other name!neither can my mother now,even though the whole way through my pregnancy she was coming to me with substitute names(she really let it be known she disliked his name!)let's hope this is the same with all ur name naysayers!!best of luck!

Simple_starving_to_be_safe - posted on 08/23/2009

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Kirsten,

My son's name is Noah as well. Everyone loves his name! I find it to be very masculine and firm. Like a real man's name. I have high hopes for my Noah. :) Ans Maxine those names are very different, but that'a why they're great! They sound very fierce and bold; strong as well. I picture a wonder-woman type female when I say them out loud! Don't let people bring you down! This is a happy time!!

Jessica - posted on 08/23/2009

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When I was still pregnant I was talking to some of the girls at my place of work and telling them the names we had chose for weather baby would be a boy or girl and one of the girls whom i was not even talking to over heard me and said the name we had chosen for if it was a girl and laughed as if i was making a joke and walked away... I got a lot of negative feedback on the girl name i chose and I ended up having a girl. I LOVE the name we chose and now I get a ton of compliments on her name. She is Paisley Joell. I love it. The only opinion that matters is your own. Unique names are the only way to go and who cares if any one else like it? Thats why your baby is YOUR baby and not anyone else's.

Amanda - posted on 08/23/2009

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I had the same problem before my daughter was born... Everyone thought her name was weird it is Jazzalyne Abbigale... but when they saw her, they feel in love so it didnt matter what her name was... and it fits her now everyone is used to it and loves it...

Kasie - posted on 08/23/2009

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I had the same feeling when I was pregnant. We named our little girl Grayce Minnie Jordyn Vinson. Grayce Minnie is here first name. We call her Grayce but we picked it after my Great grandmother and her mom. Everyone tried to get us to give up Jordyn and put Minnie as her middle name. Although we new it was our decision, and now she is a year old and everyone agrees the name fits her. So go with what you want, you know in your heart what is best. And just ignore all the rant.

Jessica - posted on 08/23/2009

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In the end you are the only person who needs to be satisfied with your childs name choice (lets face it, no one has ever really appreciated their own name LOL) however, though annoying, I used others oppinions to my advantage... you might try listening to their reasoning behind disliking the name, they may have a valid point... however, if you are dead set on your name, try explaining why you chose the name when they start with their negative feedback... perhaps the meaning of the name or whatever reason you have behind it will make the name more accepted and they will stop their comments... or just tell them you don't care what they think you love the name LOL

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