Always frustrated with my child

Elizabeth - posted on 07/15/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

8

0

0

I feel so terrible, am constantly shouting at my four year old ..... I just get so frustrated all the time. I just recently had another baby and since then I've been on the go everyday no break and no rest my husband does nothing to help apart from criticizing my parenting skills and telling what i have not done for both my sons. I do ALL the housework which is fair enough because he goes to work, but sometimes its just soooooooooooooo much. I do so much housework its unbelievable he doesn't wash dishes he dosen't lend a hand with taking care of them. 11 o'clock at night is when i get a break.....i wonder if i am taken advantage of at times.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Helen - posted on 08/20/2013

210

39

11

Firstly - have a ((hug))! You sound like you need and deserve a few of those.

I feel that you need to talk to your husband about how you feel and ask for some help around the house, and you need to STOP doing so much housework (hoover every other day instead of every day, for instance; no one else will know or notice!). Your husband might go out to work, but your job is SO much more important: you are looking after 2 little humans and teaching them how to be independent, useful, caring adults!
Set a time after which you will not do any work (except for sorting the children if they need you of course) but you will sit down and have time for you, or you and your husband. I think that he should also be giving you a break on his days off - either by taking the boys out or letting you go out by yourself, as well as by doing some of the house work.
I hope you are keeping in touch with your friends or making new friends with children of a similar age to help give you support - even if it's only to gripe at each other about husbands and kids!

Also I feel that being so stressed and tired is a breeding ground for post-natal depression, so please (as someone who struggles with depression and who had PND with both my sons) if you feel that you maybe feeling more than just stressed and tired go see your doctor as they can help.

Tabitha - posted on 08/20/2013

2

0

0

Hi Elizabeth! I was a stay at home mom until my girls turned 3 and dealt with the same thing. It got to the point where I would do exactly as he said to an extreme to show him how ridiculous his demands were. If he criticized that the girls weren't learning their letters fast enough I would spend a week only on letters and neglect some of the house work, then he would complain that the house was a mess so I would spend the next week just cleaning but when he would come home I would make sure I had the girls sitting down to a tv show or movie to ensure that he would complain about that. then I would finally point out to him that when I dedicate myself to making sure one thing is done over another something else falls behind. I have always refused to work myself past a certain time at night so that I could have energy for my kids. make sure you do that, you cannot neglect yourself and if your husband doesn't appreciate the things you do make him realize just what a value you are to the family. Money means nothing if you don't have a happy loving family to come home to. make him realize that. I'm pasting a little story I had found on facebook and shared with my husband I found it entertaining and I think it was a great way to broach the subject without starting world war 3. I'm not sure who wrote it but is worth reading as a reminder that you are not alone.

"A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel... She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?...
''Yes," was his incredulous reply..
She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'"


also on the note of you getting frustrated with your children I can also understand that point. when I would get frustrated and find my self yelling at my kids for unnecessary reasons I would stop my self and tell my girls that mommy needed a time out because she was starting to get grumpy and mean. I would suggest to them to color me a picture because it would help cheer me up this way they would sit quietly for about 15-20 minutes while I got a little quiet time myself. then you can approach any subject with them with a clear calm head and explain to them what you want/ need them to do without shouting.

Kimberly - posted on 07/18/2013

2

0

1

Ok, I feel that you are exhausted and overworked, you are allowing your frustrations to show and your babies will pick up on that, you don't ever want them to think that they are the reason for this, what you are going through is quite common, you just have to find better ways to handle the situation. Try talking calmly vs yelling when upset, it helps you to calm yourself down and mabe take a time out, try to have a set time each day where it's just you. You must have a moment for yourself or you may get burned out very soon. I learned that the hard way.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 07/17/2013

581

0

54

I can understand how you feel as a stay at home mom of a 18 month old and am currently 7 months preggo with number 2 , and a 7 year old step daughter. I never leave my daughter and have only been away from her a total of 5 times for a few hours each since she was born and it does get overwhelming!! I bet you feel like crap when you get frustrated with the kids and yell right? I know I do so I stop and look at that little face that loves mommy so much and stop myself before I take my frustrations out on her. I barely ever blow my cool with the kids now bc I realized I only feel crappier when I do!! If I'm having a day where I feel too overwhelmed then I say screw the housework for that day and take the kids to have some fun. I also found that turning up the music real loud and dancing around with the kids and getting them involved with chores makes it seem less like exhausting housework and more like a fun bonding time. I also do all the chores at home which and my days start at 730 and don't end til midnight some days! Being a mom is exhausting work and sometimes not the most appreciated job . Tell your hubby how you feel and tell him a simple " thank you for making us this delicious dinner" could go a long way in making you not feel so taken advantage of. Everyone has bad days and your kids will still love you but Just try and not make them feel that it's their fault your frustrated and remember it's not their fault

Ryan - posted on 07/15/2013

4

0

1

Kind of sounds like it to me. My husband and I both work full time and we agree that although being with our kids (2 and 7 1/2 months) is more fun, going to work is actually easier. You work all day, too, and your job is harder!!! I'm not going to criticize your husband because I don't know him, but I will say my husband watches the kids by himself 3 nights a week and every other weekend while I am at work AND he does a lot of housework, laundry, yard work, etc. maybe I just found a diamond in the rough, but it sounds like you deserve a little help. Hang in there :) your kids love you ♥

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

11 Comments

View replies by

Elizabeth - posted on 08/23/2013

8

0

0

Thanks for your words everyone God bless you for taking the time to respond

Shay - posted on 08/12/2013

2

9

0

That is exactly how I feel with a husband that works one boy and two girls 1, 3, and 4 sheesh. You couldn't of told your story better.

Crystal - posted on 08/08/2013

1

0

0

Hi Elizabeth, I can totally relate. Doing all the house work is never ending especially when you aren't the only one making the mess. Plus all the responsibility of dealing with the children. I only have one child who is 8months now and I did everything for him and the house. I'm recently separated because it really took a toll on me. Life is so much easier living without my husband but am I doing the right thing for my son? Not sure.

Kiana - posted on 08/06/2013

4

0

0

Hi Elizabeth, I can relate to what you are saying. I give my husband more credit because he does go out to work, but if you look at it, us mothers are working as well. We may not leave the house and go to work, but it is a full time job taking care of kids, cleaning, and cooking. We have little time for ourselves. But how do we tell our husbands that without them getting offended? I have three kids ages 3,5, and 6 months. two girls and one boy. I find myself staying up all night because it is so peaceful and i can actually sit down and relax and do what I want to do. And yes it seems that being in the house all day long with kids makes it more frustrating. What else can we do?

Barbara - posted on 07/26/2013

9

0

1

i have a 10 month old and currently going through a divorce but i had the same problem. my husband did nothing and i did everything. i never got a break. not even a good night sleep. I think you need to talk to your husband. in a nice way of course. Maybe he can take the kids for a walk a couple times a week. its good for him also after a long day of work. the more he gets involved the more he will realize how much you have on your plate and he may want to help more. maybe you can even leave him for a couple hours over the weekend with the kids. as far as thank yous? dont look too much for those. try thanking him for everything he does. men are like children. the more you praise them the more they want to help.also putting your children on a routine will help. naps at the same time everyday and in bed early at night to start. i really hope things get better for you.

Linda - posted on 07/21/2013

3

0

0

I have so much to say about this post. I am a 72 year old/young lady. but I can't talk about anything, untll I am told hat this group is not hooked up with facebook. I will get back with you
linda1113

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms