baby sleeping in bed with you

Jessica - posted on 03/31/2010 ( 222 moms have responded )

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Sometimes we have our 6 week old sleep in bed with us. He sleeps about half the time in our bed and the other half in his crib. Is this bad? Does anyone else do this?

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Amanda - posted on 04/26/2010

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i dont think its bad. i still have my 3 month old daughter sleep in my bed sometimes. sometimes she doesnt wanna sleep alone so i let her and we cuddle. it helps her and thats all i care about! your the parent! so its up to you:]

Lynne - posted on 04/23/2010

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Our (almost) 10 month old daughter regulary sleeps with us. She was a brilliant sleeper until we moved house. When we moved her to her cot for the first week or so she was unsettled which aint surprising but since moving home 2 months ago most nights she ends up in with us. Sometime she sleeps right through an is maybe only in bed for half an hour before alarm for work goes off. We make that play time gives us all time to wake up, play and is great for bonding. But when she sleeps with us I wake up with every movement and keep her closer to me as I am a very light sleeper.

I feel that you should do whatever is comfortable to you but

Renee - posted on 04/23/2010

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my son is 10mths old tomorrow.

from day one I had him in my bed (1st time mum syndrome i think). At 8wks I put him in a portacot beside our bed, but found it difficult as we live in an area of australia which gets quite cold in winter (he was born mid winter). at 5mths I finally gave in & made him go to his cot & found he would wake at night & wouldn't resettle unless I brought him into our bed. Since then he has had a few good nights where he has stayed in his bed (he doesn't sleep thru yet either). Just the other night he slept from 8pm-3.30am (i patted him back to sleep) & he woke at 6.30am. that was a HUGE deal, one to wake up in my own bed (oh, I am also 16wks pregnant with our 2nd) & that I got to sleep in my own bed & wake up next to hubby...



I strongly suggest to new mums that they have a bassinet to put baby into after each night feed if they choose not to put them in their own rooms. Obviously if baby is still sleeping next to you once they outgrow the bassinet, change it to a cot of some description.



It's obvious with me how much my son relies on me to hug him during the night bcos he knows it's secure. It's taken me this long to make a change in the situation & hopefully I can make a permanent change in his sleeping habits at the same time.

For sanity wise (& maybe your relationship) it will benefit you all in the long run...

Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 04/23/2010

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My three month old sleeps part of the night snuggled up against me. She sleeps better sometimes like that. I love my cudle bug.

Jennifer - posted on 04/23/2010

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My three month old sleeps part of the night snuggled up against me. She sleeps better sometimes like that. I love my cudle bug.

Jennifer - posted on 04/23/2010

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My three month old sleeps part of the night snuggled up against me. She sleeps better sometimes like that. I love my cudle bug.

Krysta - posted on 04/21/2010

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It's not a bad thing. I know my husband felt uncomfortable with it because he was afraid he might roll on her. Its really great if your breastfeeding, you get more sleep at night. The only suggestion I would make is to put your mattress on the floor. That way once they do start becoming more mobile they won't get hurt. Also baby proof your bed room too just incase they crawl around and you don't wake their isn't anything dangerous they can get into.

Barbara - posted on 04/20/2010

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All three of our children slept with us through out their lives and even now as teenagers they (once in awhile) sleep on a pallet in our room. I think it helped us to bond. We talk, sing, pray, watch movies and just enjoy being together. Not too many families can say that they teen likes to be around them that much. If it works for you then do it. I have heard that you could roll over on them, etc, but I am a light sleeper when a child is in the bed and have never had a problem. We even sleep with our young niece in the bed when she comes over because her mom and dad allow her to sleep in their bed so she sleeps better that way. Again what works for you works for you. It's your child, your family and your the best judge of it. Enjoy your little one.

[deleted account]

My daughter sleeps in her bed most of the time, she only sleeps in ours, when Daddy is at work (hehe) after the morning feeding (nursing). That's when Mommy gets the lil one all to herself and I love it.

Tara - posted on 04/19/2010

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I had my daughter sleep with me until she was 2. Then I put her in her own bed. Now she's 4 and she still climbs in bed with me and my husband. I won't let my son sleep with us when he's born. I don't want him to be in bed with us until he's 4...

Brooke - posted on 04/13/2010

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When my son wakes up in the middle of the night I will feed him and let him sleep in the bed with me. But, my son has slept through the night almost every night since he was 3 weeks old he hasn't had much trouble going all night without waking up. It could just be natural for him but it may help him that he does sleep in his crib separate from his dad and me. There are not additional noises to wake him up and he doesn't have our movement waking him up. I have heard from many parents that they allowed cosleeping from the beginning and their children are now 2-3 years old and still rarely sleep all the way through the night. I believe it would be beneficial for you to cut the habit now and only allow it in cases where your child wakes up more than once a night.

Lindsay - posted on 04/11/2010

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My almost 4mos old has slept wth us since birth. The nurses at the hospital showed me how to breastfeed in bed, and ever since thats what I do. We are going to begin putting him in his crib, its going to take alot of patience and time, but were up for it.

They are only this little for so long, So enjoy it!!

Amanda - posted on 04/11/2010

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my youngest slept with us until about 6 months, then we gradually moved her into her crib in her own room. i think bed sharing is a wonderful tool in the beginning, especially if you're nursing. it saved my sanity, with all 3 of my kids, and i'll be doing it with #4 (who's due in august)

Kylie - posted on 04/11/2010

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I dont think it is bad... Its a good thing to let them be close to u... I had my son sleeping with us when he was a baby... Just be carefull not to get the to use to it, my son is 2 now and doesnt like to sleep in his own bed we have such a hard time getting him to sleep in his own bed

Tori - posted on 04/10/2010

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They say its bad because of a possibility of they baby suffocating. My daughter has slept in bed with us for the last 8 months since she came home from the hospital. She does sleep in her crib too tho. But especially in the beginning when she was nursing every 2.5 - 3 hours it was easier to leave her in bed than go back and forth. We were both heavy sleepers before she was born but now we both wake up to the slightest sound. Plus she takes up the entire bed anyways lol

Carrie - posted on 04/10/2010

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Its important to remember, deaths from suffocation make the news. You are never going to see a headline 'Baby slept safely in parents bed' They make headlines because they are unusual. People who work in emergency services are going to see whatever tragedies are happening - and can get a warped view of how common such things are.

Co-sleeping is defined as baby sleeping 'within arms reach' and you can co-sleep with your baby without bed sharing if you wish. Co sleeping IS protective against SIDS. Check out Dr James McKenna's website.

In life, there are risks. It important for us to get the information we need to weigh up which is the biggest risk. For me, the risk of my baby dying of SIDS was a much bigger risk than the risk of me smothering my baby - given that I could meet the safe sleeping guidelines - my husband and I are not smokers or drug users, we are not on any medication or going to bed drunk! We are able to create a safe space for the baby without pillows, blankets or other items that could contribute to a babies suffocation. Also, when I am asleep, I am not unconscious! I don't fall out of bed because, even in my sleep, I am aware the edge is there. When I have a baby or child in my bed, I am aware of them! Some of my 5 children have spent some time in my bed up until about age 3. They grow out of it, and I miss their sweet snuggles.

Triona - posted on 04/09/2010

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I have had my son in bed with me twice but only because he was getting in a right state. He usually sleeps in a moses basket next to me. I never share a bed with him and our partner, my partner sleeps on me sometimes so there is no way there is room for baby as well! I don't think there's anything wrong with it really just don't have a drink if your going to. Also i would say don't let it go on too long, I know my brother had trouble getting his daughter out of him and his wifes bed, she was nearly 3 by the time they got her in her own room.

Fiona - posted on 04/09/2010

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The advice I have been given is that if you are breastfeeding having baby in with you is fine, but if I was to formula feed then baby should ideally sleep seperately. However, I would say to any new mum do what helps you get more sleep as you need to be healthy & happy to take care of the baby.

Alysha - posted on 04/09/2010

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Let's just get one thing straight, nothing can prevent SIDS since the actual cause is unknown, suffocation can look like SIDS but it isn't. People have been doing lots of things for baby care for thousands of years, but consider this, the infant mortality rate is lower than it's ever been so maybe some changes are good.

My daughter slept in her own room in her crib from day one, she has quite a set of lungs so I had no trouble hearing her. I tried sleeping with her once but she woke up before me and I got to wake up to a 7 month old kneeling on my neck and pulling my hair. I was also very stiff from laying completely still the whole night. It can also be a very hard habit to break and if you plan on having more kids are all of them going to sleep in your bed? Food for thought...

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i do this! i feel that if it feels right, than it is okay. we have our reasons for doing what we do. jut trust your instincts.

Brandi - posted on 04/09/2010

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We started co-sleeping from birth, and not by prior decision. Our son would not sleep on his back, only his tummy, so we started out with him sleeping on top of me while I was half-sitting by being propped up with pillows. By co-sleeping, he learned to sleep on his back. We continued full-time co-sleeping until he was 6 months old. Now he is only a part-time co-sleeper - he comes to bed with us about the time my husband's alarm goes off in the morning. We have had a few nights here and there of all night co-sleepng, but it is only because he's sick at the time. Would not trade it for anything! I always wake up at his slightest movement when he's co-sleeping and I still wake up (with him in the crib) right before he does. My husband did sleep on the couch a couple of times, when he took nyquil, but he has been good with co-sleeping. I do breastfeed, and have to admit it's easier at night co-sleeping, I get more sleep that way!

Ina - posted on 04/08/2010

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jip we love to share our bed with our son.he only saw his cot @ 6months, now he starts the night off in his cot and at 5 I get him in our bed for some milk... I breastfead until after 8months it realy helped having him in bed.it is much more natural.and it is only for such a short time i want all the hugs i can get.

but i will not judge those who do not cosleep.as long as they dont leave baby to cry alone in his crib.

Kristina - posted on 04/07/2010

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My son co-slept with us part of the night from the time he was born till he turned 18 months and by the time he was 18 months he was quite fine with sleeping in his own bed, in fact now he only will sleep well if he's in his own bed. Again, like lots of moms have said, I have always been a light sleeper and was always aware of the baby moving or where exactly in the bed he was. I would say if you're a deep sleeper it may not be as safe but you should do what's best for your family. Most moms end up with the baby in bed with them at some point when they're breastfeeding anyways. One thing to think about too is that if you've had anything to drink or have been on certain kinds of cold and flu medications it might be best if the baby sleeps on their own that night. I have a good friend who's an ER nurse and just after my son was born she had a baby in the ER die because the father had been drinking and smothered him accidentally. So again, do what comes naturally for you, and be cautious, cuddling with your little one in bed is comforting for mom and baby and at least in our case, I found it to help with bonding too.

Aicha - posted on 04/07/2010

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my daughter sleeps in bed with us well actually me my husband works overnights so he's at work

Cristina - posted on 04/07/2010

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Personally, I couldnt sleep with my daughter in our bed. We had her bassinet next to us. The only time she shared my bed was on nap times and I could barely get any sleep. I have friends that shared their bed with their baby and they had trouble getting them to sleep on their "big kids" bed. My daughter (15 months) sleeps better in her own bed than in ours anyway. Best of luck and remember do what feels right for you and your precious little one.

Monica - posted on 04/07/2010

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There are people that are firmly for cosleeping and people that are firmly against. Very few in between. :) If you do some research online you will find that both parties have good reasons for why they chose cosleeping or not. My son only slept in the bed for the first couple of weeks...then I moved him to his bassinet right next to my bed. I moved him into his crib at about a month and a half and even now (he's 14 months old) his crib is still right by my bed.

Renee - posted on 04/07/2010

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I do sometimes when I'm feeling really tired I breastfeed her lying down in bed and then I let her stay there when she falls asleep. I lie with my arm around her so she can't roll out and I can't roll onto her cuz I would practically have to dislocate my shoulder to do that. I don't put her in the middle because that further increases the risk of SIDS and my partner rolls more and he isn't attuned to her like I am while I'm sleeping. I read that having the baby in bed with you increases the chance of successful breastfeeding too.

Becca - posted on 04/07/2010

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My son spends about half of every night sleeping in bed with us since we brought him home from the hospital. He's just shy of 5 months old now.

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2010

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Each parent is going to feel differently about this. We have co-slept and after speaking to our lactation nurse and other in the health profession realized that it's not the suffication that is the concern. If we look back on history; mothers co slept, beds were not as tall as what we have now. Most likely they were cots that were close to the ground. Make your own decision that is best for you and your baby and don't let others tell you you are bad for it.

Amanda - posted on 04/07/2010

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My son is almost 5 weeks old girl and he has slept in our bed since the day he left the hospital. It is the only way I feel he is safe, I just couldnt sleep with him in his bassinet or crib. :)

Leisa - posted on 04/07/2010

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My baby has never slept with us through the night. If I have a nap during the day baby will come with me and nap too but never at night. My firends left their son sleep with them from day one...now he is 4 and WILL NOT sleep in a bed by himself.

Kelly - posted on 04/07/2010

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My little girl (11months) still sleep in our bed. I find it easier because i'm still feeding her. My man doesnt mind either. I had my eldest in my bed till she was 2 and after that we moved an she had her on room and went into a bed by herself with no problems.

Kim - posted on 04/07/2010

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my daughter loves to sleep with me at night. she gets to sleep faster and is less fussy at night. :)

Gretchen - posted on 04/07/2010

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Of course! Co-sleeping is such a natural way to sleep with your baby, not to mention the benefits it has on breastfeeding! As long as you're doing it safely, like no pillows or blanets near the baby, and making sure that you and your spouse don't drink or take sleeping meds before bed. My son is still sleeping with us and he just turned a year old. I figure he'll sleep with us until he weans himself and then it's time for baby #2!

Amanda - posted on 04/07/2010

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I let my son sleep with me when he was 6 months old because he was sick. After he got better I could not keep him asleep in his crib, and after several restless nights I gave in and let him sleep with me. He is 4 now and just started sleeping by himself without getting up to get in bed with me. It was very hard to get him to sleep by himself, and it made me wish I would have never put him in my bed. I have a 7 month old daughter who has never sleeps with me. She sleeps from 9 to 7 every night, in her crib, without waking up. I don't even nap with her, because I don't want her to get used to it. When she falls asleep, she goes right in her crib. So far it is working great! If you decide to keep co-sleeping, be prepared for a struggle later on down the road to get your child to sleep by themselves. They will get too big for your bed and you will want them out! That is what happened to me!

Terra - posted on 04/07/2010

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I am a really light sleeper so everytime my son moves his arms or cries or coos I hear every sound. My son has been sleeping in bed with me since he was 3 months old and is now a little over 11 months. I wake him up by trying to put him in his crib everytime. I just find it easier for me and he sleeps better. He started crawling a month ago so I think that I am going to get him in his playpen at the end of the bed really soon just so I feel safer about the idea. He never rolls over and is a pretty sound sleeper so I have not had a problem till now with the whole idea. I think for me it stems more to safety in my mind to have my child in the same room especially since someone tried to break into our house a month ago. Also I think that it also has something to do with me having a bad experience with someone trying to get me in their vehicle when i was around 5...so I just can't see him sleeping in a separate room from me at this point... just really overprotective yet.

Kelly - posted on 04/07/2010

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this can lead to problems later on down the line we did this with my daughter and now she wont sleep in her cot at all doesnt matter wat we do she will end up in bed with us so if u can avoid it now i suggest u constntly put ur bby in there cot to sleep

Capricia - posted on 04/07/2010

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my son just turned one in Feb. and i just start making him sleep in his crib, and i didn't have any problems. I just told him it's nite nite time, and turn the big light off and turned the little lamp on. he wined for like a min. and went on to sleep.

Nikki - posted on 04/07/2010

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im sorta strict on my sons sleep, he slept with me a couple of times wen i was breast feeding coz i cudnt get outa bed 2 put him back in his (i had a c section), hes been in his own room since 4months old, he only sleeps with some 1 if hes ill, i cant get him 2 sleep on me if hes well. if he wakes up thru the night i give him his dummy and 90% of the time he goes back off

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Yes, totall normal! In fact, most of the world co-sleeps, and in parts of the world where they co-sleep exclusively, SIDS is non-existent (because the baby mimics mom's breathing patterns while sleeping). It is also really good emotionally for your baby. You're making him feel safe and secure. Hang in there, you're doing great!!!!

Tine - posted on 04/07/2010

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A great book on parenting that goesinto the science of baby sleeping is 'the Science of Parenting' - read it to see why babies need to be near their mother ... people get very antsy about getting the babies out of bed again, but really, there are gentle ways to do that (another book that's great is 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution) or just let the baby figureout whenhe's ready! My daughter is starting to sleep alone now,happily!
The stories of overlaying on this forum are terrible. All of my friends an aquaintances co-sleep though, and I've neverheardon anythinglike that.Just do some reading on the safety precautions - like anything, it's not all good or bad, buthowyou goabout it that's important!!

Tine - posted on 04/07/2010

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Hi! Co- sleeping (sleeping with your baby) is the norm in many countries of the world, and in those places they have very very low rates of SIDS.It's actually very normal baby behaviour and protective for babies to sleep with thier mothers. I still sleep with my daughter, who is now 17 months old. It just seemd right to have her there on my chest when she was born, she felt safer, and once I got home from hospital it still felt right.

Since I started doing it I've read a lot on co-sleeping, and it's VERY protective for babies. They need to be right there against your chest to have their immature heartbeat and breathing regulated, it keepsthierheartbeat and breathing going and it keeps them safe in sleep, because your movements stop them going into that too-deep sleep that causes the danger of sids.

So you're doing a great thing for your son!! It also makes him feel safe, and avoids him being full of stress hormones that babies who are left alone to sleep have to deal with.

All those tales of babies being smothered in bed with parents are untrue; apparently the church invented that in the Middle Ages to cover up all the infanticide cases from women having babies 'out of wedlock'...!

Anyway, it's safe and a very natural and valuable thing to do, but there's a few precautions it's wise to take (just obvious simple stuff like not co-sleeping if you're drug or alcohol affected, not covering your baby up with the doona, and also making sure he can't get wedged in between the bed and the wall, etc). If you look up 'attachment parenting' you'll find lots of info on the benefits, safety stuff, etc, as well as other lovely parenting stuff that I found helpful.

Best wishes! :-)

Katie - posted on 04/07/2010

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To be honest you hear 'O noo you cant put baby in the bed with you' bla bla unless that person is a mother them selfs and know what it is like for a baby to be attatached then they cant say nothing. My son is 5 months today and everynight at 10 he will cot in his cot bed but around 4 5ish in the mornng he's wide awake but not moaning for a bottle so me or my partner puts him in the bed with us and he falls straight back to sleep and its also nice having a cuddle with my lil man :) xxxx

Cynthia - posted on 04/07/2010

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what other being in the animal kingdom takes there baby and places it in another room to sleep?

Clarissa - posted on 04/06/2010

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I used to keep my son in bed with us but i was afraid of my husband smushing him, then my aunt told me that her daughter slept in the bed with them until she was 5 years old. It is a hard habit to break so be cautious. Its amazing when they are babies but when my son is old enough to realize where he is sleeping he will be in his crib =)

Devyn - posted on 04/06/2010

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Thats exactly what my we started with my daughter, half the night in our bed, half the night in her crib and it has now turned into the whole night in our bed and sometimes naps in the crib. Now she cant sleep soundly in her crib she has to be in our bed! But i love having her close to me :)

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