Breastfeeding Peer Group Pressure?

Cathelijn - posted on 04/27/2009

I really think it works both ways! I breastfed for the first 10 weeks but I really hated it and my in laws kept telling me the baby was not getting enough food and people kept commenting on how often my baby wanted to eat and lots of people kept asking when I was going to give my daughter formula! As I said before I really did not enjoy the breastfeeding but did because I know the health benefits to both mum and baby.

It is each to their own I say! you will learn when your baby is born everyone has an opinion on how to do things and people are always happy to point out what your doing wrong.. Good luck with everything!

Rachel - posted on 04/27/2009

People just like to be judgmental, I guess. I have had comments from strangers on the street telling me that my baby was dressed too warmly / not warmly enough etc. And breastfeeding produces strong opinions... but in my opinion, it is simply rude for people to pressure moms about this or any other issue.

Esther - posted on 04/26/2009

Sally - you will enjoy reading this article: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/ca...

I tried breastfeeding because I too heard all the stories about how much better it is and we ALL want to do what's best for our kids. I HATED it though. My son was jaundiced and was constantly sleeping as a result. I could not keep him awake long enough to latch on properly and drink. He lost a lot of weight in the first few days (much more than normal) so my pediatrician said I needed to pump and bottle feed him the breastmilk. So I did that and when I was doing that I thought - what's the difference? He's still getting breastmilk but at least this way I don't have to go through the torture of trying to get him to latch on. So that's what I ended up doing for 6 months. But I hated pumping too. After 6 months I just couldn't do it anymore.

I read the article I sent you the link to months after my son had been switched over to formula (and even regular milk by now). I don't plan on having any more children, but if I did have more kids, I'm not sure I'd go through it again.

Brittany - posted on 04/26/2009

Quoting Shanna:

 Is there anything negative healthwise that comes with breastfeeding? I dont know of any! 

 

 

There is disadvantage I have heard about. Breastfed babies are more like to get jaundice.

Brittany - posted on 04/26/2009

I am astounded! My baby is 3 days old. I am breastfeeding, but I understand that is my own choice and I have bounced back and forth between the two ideas. I feel bad that my fiance can't feed her too right now. My plan is to breastfeed for 6 weeks and then switch to bottlefeeding during the day because I do not want to be out in public worrying about breastfeeding. I'll try to stick to breastfeeding at night just because we sleep upstairs and I do not want to have to worry about coming downstairs in the middle of the night to fix bottles. This is all my choice and I understand that. I'm sorry you're going through that.



I didn't have an epidural but it wasn't my choice. My labor progressed too fast. I did get some kind of IV meds that begin with an E and I regret that decision because it made me sleep inbetween contractions. I woke up for the pain and was too out of sorts to actually know what I was doing. After the baby was born I was too groggy. It took all the strength and willpower I had to stay awake to listen to her measurements.



Tell all those stupid idiots to back off and live their own lives.

Nicola - posted on 04/23/2009

Do whats best for you and lets you enjoy your child and life with you partner most. If people are being judgemental refuse to discuss it with them at all. Sometimes people just ask because they are concerned but other times who knows what goes through there heads.

Ashley - posted on 04/23/2009

Amen sister! It's amazing to me that when it comes to pregnancy and raising children people think they have the right to give you unsolicited "advice". I started my daughter on the breast and didn't love it so after 3 months I switched her to formula. I probably would have done it sooner had I not received so much flack from other people. I am a nurse too and got alot of weird looks from my coworkers too. Eventually I looked at the issue as it is ultimately my experience and I should be the only one to choose how I want that experience to be. From now on any new mom that asks me for advice I tell them you need to do what's right for you and your child and don't even worry about what other people tell you.

January - posted on 04/21/2009

Congrats on the Baby! Don't feel down about not brest feeding. La leche groups are very blunt and feel that no matter what you should breat feed or you are a horrible person. I did not breast feed with mine. I am too impatient and stubborn to breast feed, and it is a full time job. My daughter is on similac sensitive and even though its not cheap she is doing wonderful! Good luck and don't let it get you down, you definately have moms that are here for ya!

Tabatha - posted on 04/21/2009

sally! congratz on your baby :D its the best feeling in the world! dont let anyone change your decision with they opinions!! its between you and your hubby. good luck!!

oh ya where in canada are you and when are you due???? iam in bc :D

Ally - posted on 04/21/2009

Sally,

By no means does not wanting to breastfeed make you undeserving to have children. I hope to be able to offer some insight into the whole breastfeeding peer pressure thing. As a registered nurse i can tell you that nutrionally speaking breast is best. no one debates that. and when moms don't even attempt to do what has been hands down proven time and time again to be better for babies to many it seems like quite a selfish decision and some would argue that mom who bottle feed are doing so out of their own need for convenience and not because its best for the baby. when people hear that you made the choice simply for personal reasons and wont even elaborate on why it just sounds like you are throwing in the towel and doing what you think is best for you and not for your child and many mothers simply can't understand that mindset (myself included)



I will tell you from a medical standpoint that even if you nurse our baby for the few days until your milk comes in to give them the colostrum they so desperately need you will be giving them a huge advantage in immunity to protect your child from illnesses before he is old enough to recieve immunizations ( no formula can do that) and a a mother who has been nursing a baby for about 13 months now there are rewards to it that simply don't match feeding her out of a bottle.



Just curious what the harm in trying would be if you know it's whats best for your baby?

Best of luck whatever you choose :)

Jocelyn - posted on 04/20/2009

in my opinion, as long as you are feeding your baby, there is really no clear-cut "right or wrong" way to do it. they are still cute whether breast or bottle fed! lol. good luck with everything!

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2009

Why are people so judgemental on this subject? Whatever way a mother wants to feed her child should be respected. She isn't neglecting her child in any way by bottle feeding him. The immunity thing, I am not so sure about. I have known people who have exclusively breastfed their children & they have TONS of allergies. The allergy thing is all about genetics, not about whether or not you breastfeed your child. Some women just don't want to. Yes, it's easier & cheaper, but it's her choice. There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding. My daughter was fed with breastmilk & formula for the first 3 months of her life. She was 6 weeks early & she had problems latching on. When she was 3 months, my milk supply diminished & I wasn't able to pump enough for her. We were able to switch over to formula easily because she had been eating both since birth. She began gaining more weight being on just formula (3 pounds in 2 months, instead of 1.5 - 2 pounds in 2 months) It is easier for us & our daughter is a healthy, happy 11-month old who is getting ready to walk. It is your choice, Sally and I commend you for sticking to your guns. I just can't believe all of the negative comments that you are getting.

Claire - posted on 04/19/2009

btw my daughter is now obviously bottle fed and is still content and happy in herself she is on a brestfed suplement milk which i personaly think is great she has never lost any of her birth weigh and is so settled on it .

Claire - posted on 04/19/2009

i brestfed my daughter and for me it was easy at first she was a pro at latchin on but can understand why people are put off by it . i managed to do it for 9 n half weeek before i started to have problems with blocked duks and snore nipples but i really miss the closeness of it.yet am happy i dont get stares from people when im feeding her in public.it is a choice and only u can make the right one for yourself x people and friends was so egar for me to stop but i only stopped cause i had to

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2009

i decided not to breast feed. and i have yet to hear the end of it from my mother in law so i know how you feel. she gave me all the reasons on why its so much better and that i would save money, etc. She has even gone to my mother and complained about how i dont breastfeed. In the end it just wasn't for me. my daughters first pediatrician assumed i was breastfeeding when we went in for her first appointment. when i corrected her, she gave me the nastiest look and was just like "oh.." i found that a bit rude (that and she told me never to give my daughter anything sweet or birthday cake ever cuz she'd be obese). Needless to say, we changed doctors.
i don't necessarily buy the whole, they'll be so much healthier breastfed either. I have a friend who breastfed all 3 of her kids. all 3 have allergies, 2 have asthma, and her oldest has severe allergies to peanuts and pet dander along with a laundry list of other allergies. People i know that have bottle fed have very healthy babies with very minor if any allergies and are rarely sick.

Personally, i dont care if people breastfeed or not. its their decision and things should be left at that. no one has the right to judge one way or the other. everyone should be equally supportive, no matter what decision a mother has made.

Amanda - posted on 04/18/2009

wow, this topic really got good discussion! Well after reading all of these posts, I feel the need to put my too sense in here. My baby girl is three weeks old, I always felt that I wanted to breast feed my baby, I had her after no sleep or food for 48 hours, I went in with a migrane 3 days after she was due, so they induced me. After 12 hours of contractions and only being dialated 3cm the doc decided to do a c section. After the baby was born they tried bringing her to my breast, I had no energy physically or emotionally, I tried but couldnt even hold her up let alone my own head. I let the nurses bottle feed her, and continued to try. She didnt take to the breast, so I had to pump and I am still pumping. I feel breastmilk is important for a baby but it is difficult for some of us, I go back to work in three weeks, my work dosent have an area that I can breast feed in so I am going to bottle feed, my doc told me that bottle or breast they are still getting the nutrients they need.

Fran - posted on 04/18/2009

Can't believe some of the responses you got here Sal. Congratulations on little Oscar. Looks like a handsome young man. I also experienced the same peer pressure/ backlash when i decided to feed formula to my bubb at only a day old. I was doing breast milk expressed and formula feeds for top ups for the first few weeks and then switched to fomula only at 2 weeks old. Whatever works best for you. Being a mum is hard work and you have to do what is right for you. My baby is thriving on formula and i would do the same for my second. All the best to you and your bundle of joy.

Looks like you're doing a fabulous job.

Melissa - posted on 04/13/2009

I think the last thing you should be judged for is what you feed your baby, Heres what people should notice YOU ARE FEEDING YOUR BABY!  YOU ARE NOT NEGLECTING YOUR BABY. YOU AREN'T ABUSING YOU BABY. Seems like your not to bad. Actually sounds like you'll be great at it. I do breast feed but I completely agree with your choices if theres food in the lillte ones belly thats all that matters. So good luck and  best wishes

Kathy - posted on 04/13/2009

I felt the same way Sally! Everyone I know was trying to give me reasons to breastfeed my little guy. But, like you, I have done my research and I still don't feel like I ever want to do it. There is hardly any information out there for bottle feeding. My hospital d/c paperwork took 3minutes because they don't relly tell you much if you aren't breastfeeding. I wasn't even sure what to do when milk did come in..except to get on the internet to find out what to do to stop it. I bottle feed, I had an epidural, I am an RN, and I am proud of it all! Kudos to all you who are breastfeeding, but also to all those who are not, and especially to you Sally for presenting this issue.

Amanda - posted on 04/05/2009

People judge because they think that they are better than everyone. Or they are insecure. Or they are just assholes.

Every mother should be able to make her own choices without anyone judging them.

Raylene - posted on 03/31/2009

I see that you have had many response and that many people have comment, i haven't had time or a chance to read these..Sorry if I repeat what others have said.  I have 3 children and have breast fed all of them but i do beleive that this is a personal choice and that the only person that can make this decision is you,  please do not  any negative commments you need to do what is best for yourself and your your child,  you need to do what works for yourfamily and your families dynamics. I'm sure that you would have lookedinto all the pro and consand decied whatis best for you both.  It does not matter whether you breastfeed of not there are many children out their that are health and happy that are bottle fed.  Whatis import it that you will  care for you child to the best of your abilities caring and loving for them in a happy and loving environment.. Please listen to your heart.  I wishyou all the very best with the birth of you precious little one I hope thatall goes very smoothly and that you and your baby thrive in every way possible. Hugs and Kisses ... God bless xxx

Sally - posted on 03/31/2009

I am also baffled by your comments Nazevyanga. I am Australian, grew up in Singapore, then the US, worked in the UK for 3 years, travelled around Central & Sth America and Sth East Asia, married a Brit and am now living in Canada. More than anything my travels have taught me a respect for differences - different cultures, beliefs and opinions!!



As such, I have been really please to see how much tolerance and respect I have recieved from mothers on this site (from all of over the world, I assume).

Stasia - posted on 03/31/2009

What does this have to do with the original post? Are you insulting Americans here?
I have traveled and lived in other parts of the world so Im not sure exactly what you are trying to say Nazevyanga? Im not even American and Im a little bothered by this

Nazevyanga - posted on 03/31/2009

You are right here in the USA people have the right to do what they want regardless of it's beneficial to their children or not. Love is shown by "sacrificing" one's job to look after one's kids or taking the kids to their after school activities. All these things are considered a sacrifice. No woner women think having babies is a burden and also that's why postpartum depression runs quite rampant. Women are not educated to understand that embracing motherhood does not take away from who you are, it actyally adds to your super powers. But who am I to judge? I was born here but thatnk God I was brought up elsewhere where you are educated about parenthood, and where breastfeeding is so natural that you don't hear about how" my baby could not latch on" or this workd for me and my baby , or even my breast will sag. As a result as great as this nation is, teens have serious problems, parents can not dicipline their children (and I don't mean hitting them - I brought up very good children and I never had to hit them), the child can have a yelling match with the parents and children dictate how their parents must bring them up....what a shame. Those of you who have not travelled don't even know that the world outside the USA is very civilised in most cases, more civilised than this great nation of ours but then again....what do I know?

Nazevyanga - posted on 03/31/2009

Like I said, if you are comfortable with your decision, there's no need to tak about it. Anyone who carries a baby in her womb can not come away emotionally not able to breastfeed. Your body and mind prepares you for that whether you are successful or not. So instead of trying to justify your reasons, just go with it and forget the rest of us. You are right, people make these decisions for a reason and since we are not God we should let you do your thing. It sounds to me like you are ready to take on whatever things your LO will go through for lack of breastmilk, so I appalud you and wish you all the best.

Stasia - posted on 03/31/2009

I think the most important thing is trusting your instincts and sticking to your choices by not letting other people push you around or tell you what to do, and you have shown us all that you are more than capable of that, congratulations it is something I know I struggled with at first.

As a breastfeeding mother who really struggled at first I appreciate that you are still pro breastfeeding for mothers who choose it. If only we can all be so accepting right??

Nazevyanga - posted on 03/30/2009

I think people judge you because they do not know or understand why you would not want to breastfeed. Is it because of a medical problem or are you afraid that your breasts will sag? Your little one will be best set for life if you provide the breast milk. It's the natural way to introduce your LO into this world. Not only because it's the best food for baby but also because it builds a sense of belongin very early, it helps the brain develop better and it gives you an opportunity to develop a bond that can never be broken. Like you said, you don't understand why people are beating you down, well I don't want to beat you down more and I don't intend to but people generally think that a mom would sacrifice a little bit of her time to feed her baby after all you do love your baby. What is it that can keep you from wanting to give your LO the best? Millionaires might say money (but even celebrities glory in breasfeeding). If you are scared can you atleast express your milk which is being made specifically for the child you are carrying? But on the other hand......again...we have no business telling you how to raise your baby, but if you are convinced that, that is a good decisioon, then forget the rest of us. As for you being a good mom, that is for God to decide, after all He is no respector of persons. I can not judge you because I love motherhood. I was a police officer in the Navy, an Oficer Mnager in three countries, a working mom and wife but I am most of all a woman. God intentionally gave us nurturing natures because we oer the ones that bear the children. That is why even if we can not be as physically strong as men, we are strong enough to bear children, and bring them up. Women are the pillars of every home. So Sally (my little sis is Sally too), brush us off, you have your reasons. I must say here that if you breastfeed out of pressure you will be miserable. It's easy but it calls for committment. Most mom are excited at first then they wig out all too soon. If you embrace motherhood and understand that after just 12 short months you be free you will do good. The 1 st year is the most important, your body will bounce back just be patient and your LO will be sitting, rolling, crawling and walking in no time.

I hope this helps.

Susan - posted on 03/30/2009

This is by far taking every thing and every ones opinions to far, it is your right to either breast feed or to bottle, as long as you love that bub (not doubting that you already) and he is being fed thats all any one should be worried about. I am pregnant with my second bub, due in 9 weeks and i have said i would like to try and breast feed, I couldn't with my first, one mid wife at the hospital was very much like what your saying about the nurse's you have dealt with, very rude, unhelpful and opinions to the high hills.
Dont listen to any one else's thoughts and notions on how you feed your baby darlin, you do what you think is right for your family and situation and thats all that matters at the end of the day!!
take care, good luck and congrats when bub arrives. :-)

Jessica - posted on 03/30/2009

Me personally, I think that unless there is a physical reason that you cannot breastfeed your child, then formular is not an option, but im not going to verbally bash someone about it because everyone is different and they all have their own reasons for doing so.

Chantel - posted on 03/30/2009

Hey Sally!! I chose to bottle feed also and most of the negativity I got about that was from the other moms on this site!! I chose what was best for me and my daughter for my own personal reasons and we did great! She's not sickly or small or any less smart than a baby that is breastfed!

Oh. And I had the epidural too!! Best thing I ever did!!

Roberta - posted on 03/30/2009

Listen - you do what is going to work for your family. It doesn't matter what your reasons are -they are your reasons - you do not need to justify them to anyone. Formula is a completely valid feeding option for your newborn. There were several generations where virtually all babies in north america were formula fed. In "What to Expect in the First Year" they make the comment that even a baby born yesterday would prefer a bottle giving lovingly than a breast offered grudgingly and I agree 100%. Lots of people like to judge try to ignore the negative comments and have faith in your decisions. I wish you the best.

Jennifer - posted on 03/29/2009

I know when I had my first baby, he was a little early and had some problems breastfeeding. I wanted to stop so badly but so many people pressured me that I kept on doing it. I brestfed a lot longer than I would have wanted out of the guilt that others made me feel.



I guess you just have to do what you think is right. There are so many more people that do things a lot worse than not breastfeeding. It'll get easier the older he gets and then fewer people will ask you about it.



I agree that the most important thing is to love your baby and take care of him.



I feel bad for you that you have had to go through so many negative things because of decisions you are making. Just stick to your guns and things will get easier.

Chelsea - posted on 03/28/2009

Although I am a breasfeeding Mom, I think that you have made the decision that is right for your baby and your family--and you have EVERY right to. This is the USA, you can do what you want! One of the best things that I have learned as a new Mom (my daughter is 6 mo) is that YOU have to make the choices that you think are right. We, as Moms, need to support each other and stop trying to tell everyone how "we" would do things. You're an adult. You do what is in the best interest of your family--and shouldn't have to be "shamed" into doing anything. There is enough info on Breastfeeding vs. Formula out there that you have heard the benefits of both. Formula has come a long way since it was first developed. Congratulations to you and your husband. You are about to embark on the greatest adventure of your life. You certainly have more to think about than people hassling you. Don't let it get to you--this won't be the last thing you'll get unsolicited advice on. Just thank people for their advice and smile--knowing that you are doing what you think is best. You're going to be the Mom! Best Wishes to you!

Tara - posted on 03/28/2009

I'd just like to say after much consideration i decided not to breast feed & i agree, you do get so much negative feedback from people. I had the most awful hca in hospital, and the fact i was bottle feeding really made her dislike me. It was awful coz it was my first baby, i was tired & emotional & i was made to feel bad about my choice of feeding.



I'd also like to say my nan bottle fed both my mum & my auntie, my mum bottle fed both me & my sister & my sister bottle fed my neice and we're all fine.



I think it should be a personal choice & no one has the right to judge you on the way you choose to feed your baby. I have equal respect for mothers who breast feed & those who bottle feed, we are all just trying to do our best for our babies & we should be supporting each other NOT judging.



Good luck sally x

Danielle - posted on 03/28/2009

I think pressure of any kind is uneccessary... I have 5 children and most of them i breast fed and bottle fed... with no serious issues with either... my current youngest (15 mos) i choose to strictly bottle feed, because of the level of difficulty i had with breast feeding my son before her. it was really hard on both of us, and I decided to skip the emotional issues that came along with it all, and enjoy my daughter... it is also nice to involve my husband and older children in the bonding process that bottle feeding can bring to them as well. Ahe si perfectly healthy and has no issues with eating or being sickly... DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND IGNORE THESE PEOPLE THAT THINK THEY KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR EVERYONE ELSE!! What worked for them, may not work for you, and THAT IS OK!! hold your head high and know that there are millions of moms that understand where you are comming from and have gotten the same responses from others as well. There is no one way to parent a child, and finding the right way for you and your family is hard enough without being made to feel like a bad mom for making decisions that work for YOU!! Good luck with your new baby!! :)

Julie - posted on 03/27/2009

There are a lot of right ways to parent, and you need to be able to trust your instincts and do what is right for your family.  Every baby is different, every parent is different, and judging is pointless because no one knows the full story in someone else's background.

The most important thing I can share with you for your first baby is to listen to your baby, instead of only the people around you.  Some babies thrive on a schedule, others are miserable.  Some families will only get a good night's sleep with everyone in the same bed, other babies need a quiet room with no distractions.  Some parents insist they will raise their child a certain way, only to find that once their child is born, their heart leads them in a different directions.

I hope you find peace in the relationship you have with your baby.  The people whose opinions differ from your own have come to their conclusions through their own journeys and what has worked for their families, and wanting to share those positives with others.  Please remember to keep an open mind when you see others whose parenting styles you may not agree with, just as you have wished others to refrain from jugding you.

There are a lot of right ways to parent.  http://www.parentwords.com

Ashleigh - posted on 03/27/2009

I planned on breastfeeding my son, and am just starting to wean him (he turns one in 2 weeks).  I pretty much only did the breastfeeding for the nutrition side of things, not really the whole bonding thing.  I was never one of those moms who felt really comfortable nursing in public ( my son did nurse all the time, almost every hour, but he had colic).   I agree with you, that no matter what we should always support each other!  Have you thought about maybe pumping the milk? Especially just the first bit, since that is the most important (the colustrum).    Breastfeeding is difficult, especially with the first, I find you have to have a lot of patience to get it right (im just stubborn haha).  I think it's horrible when other people judge people when they don't know the whole situation.   Congrats on your little bundle who is on his way! 

Emily - posted on 03/27/2009

I wish everyone would shut up about telling this poor mom-to-be how great breastfeeding is!!  She already said she isnt doing and is wondering why everyone is badgering here and then all she gets are responses that say "oh well it is your decision...BUT!!!!...." blah blah, I didnt breastfeed b/c I had a breast reduction and i made ZERO milk, but you know what - I hated it anyway, even when I was trying!  My baby is 11 months old and is at or ahead of every milestone, has the most hysterical sense of humor, has no allergies, has only had 1 cold and 1 ear infection.  Just stick to your guns and enjoy your baby.  Bottle-feeding can also be a wonderful bonding experience and it includes dad too!  Good luck:)

Jen - posted on 03/27/2009

Sally - I totally agree with you about the attitude towards breastfeeding (that is, if you don't do it, there's something wrong with your mothering instincts or something!).

I had a really hard time bf-ing, and had to give my baby mostly formula. I was disappointed as hell and suffering from postpartum depression. On top of that, anything I read in parenting books/websites conveyed an attitude of "you should really breastfeed your baby if you're going to be a good mom" which only made me feel worse about the situation.

And I agree with your attitude - moms everywhere are to be saluted (for doing the hardest job in the world, among other things).

Alison - posted on 03/27/2009

Wonderfully said! :)

I've decided and you will soon see that there are differing opinions in EVERY aspect of motherhood...not just breastfeeding and whether to get an epidural...and it can get very nasty when women compare children and the way they are being raised. You need to just remember to do what is best for your child and your family.

By the way, epidurals are awesome. I didn't feel a thing and was able to joke and laugh the entire time (well, except for the final 15 minutes).

Melissa - posted on 03/26/2009

Shame on people for making you feel insecure about your decision.  I did not breastfeed any of my three boys because of personal decisions and working arrangements, and I have found that they are ALL very healthy and happy children.  You and your husband should try setting boundaries with people who try to pressure you into changing your decision.  The next time someone tries to change your mind, don't bother to defend your decision.   Defense only weakens your position on the matter and sets you up for arguement.  Say "I have researched it and my decision is made.  Want some pie?"  For people who continue to pressure you say "I know you want the best for me and my baby.  I feel this is the best decision for us.  You *enjoy* the baby and I'll do the parenting.  Want some pie?"  If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable about your decision and they continue to violate the boundary you set, don't be afraid the tell them they have crossed the line.  Then politely excuse yourself.

I hope you find the techniques useful.  I know I certainly did.  Good luck to you and your growing family!

Shanna - posted on 03/26/2009

SALLY, when are you due??

Amy - posted on 03/26/2009

This is your choice!! Don't let anyone bully you into something you don't want to do. I have 6 children. My first 5 I didn't breastfeed. I just wasn't comfortable with it. I just had baby #6 in February. He is exclusively breastfeed. I don't know what changed my mind but for me I am so glad I did. I would never force my opinions on anyone else though. Just as long as you are doing your best for your baby and providing for him it doesn't matter whether you feed him by bottle or breast. All of my bottle fed babies are well adjusted kids!!

Hannah - posted on 03/26/2009

im new on here and a new mum my little girl is only 3weeks old, i am breastfeeding i didnt think id be able to do it but wanted to try and im finding it ok and for my birth i wanted as little pain relief as possible - in the end i didnt have any at all - the point im trying to make is it's each to their own i got told all the do's and dont's and i didnt pay any attention - its upto you how you raise your baby, theres nothing wrong with either of your decisions - my hat goes off to you because at least you've thought it all through, don't worry about what everyone else says - as long as you and baby are fine what does it matter what pain relief you have or how you feed them...good luck with it all :D

Shanna - posted on 03/26/2009

I don't think it was meant to be judgementat or hurtful. Sally was wondering why she was getting such negative feedback regarding her decision not  to breastfeed. Hannah was just stating the questions that others are thinking. Which is why she is getting negative feedback from those people - because they do not understand why

Hannah - posted on 03/26/2009

I sincerely apologize for my comment. It was crass and unecessary. I am very sorry. Conratulations and Good luck with you Baby!

Joy - posted on 03/25/2009

Quoting Hannah:

...1) People are ok with a woman not being able to because she is not making the CHOICE not to.

Perhaps we need to know your reasons because we can not fathum why a perfectly able women would CHOOSE not to nurse her baby...

Does it disgust her?

Does her God tell her its bad?

Is she afraid of loosing her perfectly shaped breasts?

Does she have breast implants and is worried what the affect nursing will have on them?

2) Woman have been nursing their babies for houndreds of thousands of years...What the hell else are your tits for??

3) If you are "emotionally unable" to nurse your son I cant imagine how you will be emotionally able to cope with wiping his ass.

 

This is the most mindnumbing, judgemental, disapointing comment that i have ever seen. And to think Circle of Moms was created for us mothers to give support and advice.

Sorry Sally that you were endured to such ridiculous comments and i wish you all the best with your first child. It is the best thing You will ever do and making the decision to not breastfeed will seem like the smallest thing when you see that baby of yours smiling in your arms. good luck.

Joy - posted on 03/25/2009

I think its great that you have made this decision and can be proud of it and stick to your guns. Your right its no one elses business and you should definately not have to a) justify yourself to anybody being it family, medical people or mothers on facebook and b) be judged for making an important decision about your OWN child. I think your a great mum for doing the research and making the choice. I only breastfed for 3 months but we also formula fed as well so my husband could feed. Most women enjoyed breastfeeding but I was one that didnt. I hated it but i stuck to it because i felt pressured. I then found out i was actually causing my son more harm than good as he was having severe lactose reactions to my breastmilk and i just continued feeding him because i didnt want people to look "down" on me. I then got a good talking to from my pead who finally convinced me to formula feed him only.  It was the best decision we ever made and I would think twice about breastfeeding again. Yeh sure some woman ache to breastfeed and cant but what about women who dont ache to breastfeed and who can, why is it so different? It is a simple life choice and only yours to make. Some f the comments on here are very disapointing and judgemental and im sorry to say half expected it as soon as i read your question. Just remember we are all different as are our children, if we werent we would all be perfect mothers with perfect children.

I think your fantasic and have made a safe and wonderful decision for your baby and your family. good luck and ignore all those insignicant comments.

Ambra - posted on 03/25/2009

I have a 3 year old and one on the way. I breast fed for a bit but it wasn't for me. A lot of people tried to make me feel bad about it but the formulas that they make today are just about the same as breast milk. It is not the olden days. Our child will not die if we do not breast feed. My mother tried to tell me that she breast fed me but when i looked in my baby book she wrote that she gave me formula after 3 weeks. I think you should just do what you want and ignore everyone else. you will have enough stress as it is!!!

Heather - posted on 03/25/2009

I started out breast-feeding...but it only lasted for about 2 1/2-3 weeks...then my son started getting upset stomach (nothing I would eat would agree with him) and the milk was coming out so fast that he would often cough, and nearly choke...I didn't want to take that chance to continue breast-feeding...when formula was filling him...and a lot more settling on his stomach....I believe formula-fed babies are just as healthy and have the same connection to the one that feeds them as a breast fed baby.  Everyone has their own opinion...unfortunately not all of them may be positive...and the negative people make themselves heard.  Good luck and congrats.