Can babies get spoiled so young

Elfrieda - posted on 12/11/2010

I think I'll be more like that next time I have a baby. With my first (who is now almost a year old) I felt like if he was crying, it was my fault. Since he was colicky, needless to say I was totally worn out, and didn't really recover my energy from those terrible first months until a month or two ago. Now that I have more experience, I think I'll know the difference between fussing just because and full-out crying because the baby needs something.

Melissa - posted on 12/11/2010

http://www.gentleparents.com/articlecarr...

Alicia - posted on 07/15/2010

also i wanted to add that someone too told me that it doesnt hurt the baby to cry alot, that it does help then build lung strength and vocal chords as well. and i just to let you guys know, i do spend most of the days playing with him, talking to him n he tries to talk back too, its too cute, and thats almost all the time when he wakes up for his feeding. so i dont think leaving him to entertain himself is wrong at all, most of the time he will just lay in his bassinet cooing at the ceiling or smiling at it until he gets bored, but i do all i can to see if hes good, diaper, feeding, burp, and warmwise. so when im holding him and he still cries thats when i let him have his little crying time.

Alicia - posted on 07/15/2010

ok i see where you guys are all coming from. But like i said i do let my son cry for awhile, and about the woman who said to get a baby carrier, i just wouldnt feel comfortable doing that, for one i wouldnt want to be in the kitchen over a hot stove, what if i accidently burnt him, what if i try to really not get him to close and by accident i did, you know things happen, or say im cutting up sum vegtables, and he jerks in his sleep and i wind up cutting myself, babies tend to do sudden movements with out warning. and yes i do swaddle him, he loves it, but sumtimes, mainly in the afternoon, is when he just cries and cries. Also, i have a 3 years old (almost) and i did the same thing with her, i let her have crying time, but it was harder for me then cause i was doing it alone, and she has turned out just fine, shes independant as ever, she tried to do everything herself, she even tries to take care of her brother. but she still likes to play with me and we laugh together or talk. well thanks for all the input ladies.

Sarah - posted on 07/15/2010

I Can Understand Where Your Coming From By Not Wanting To Spoil Your Child & That You Have Things To Do. I Have A 7 1/2 Month Old Son That Does The Same Thing. I Do Let Him Cry Just A Bit, But Not Long. Babies Will Learn Independence When They Are Ready Too, However, You Can Help Them With Learning That. If Your Baby Can Sit Up, Put The Baby On The Floor, Put Some Soft Toys Down, & Let The Baby Play. Try Turning On Some Cartoons, ( Like The Wiggles, Blues Clues, Etc.) My Son Loves To Watch Blues Clues & Plus He Is Learning Things At The Same Time. (I'm All About Educational Cartoons, Lol.) Also, Walker Time Is Something Great Too. If You Have To Clean The Kitchen Or Something, Put Your Baby In The Highchair & Talk To Them While You Work. The Baby Sling, In My Opinion, Isn't Worth Buying, Because Your Baby Will Out Grow It In No Time! Plus They Only Make They Up To A Certain Weight Size Anyways. Your Baby Does Need Cuddles & Lovey's Too! Try Story Time! (: Works For Me! Good Luck!

Kirsty - posted on 07/15/2010

My child is 10months and as a new born up til about 5 months she would never let me put her down but it was getting to the point where i couldnt do anything so i had to let her cry. now she loves a cuddle and kiss and being picked up but she also loves being on the floor and being in her walker. i think the more you hold your child the more theyll get used to it but do as you think

Julie - posted on 07/15/2010

I agree with Lisa. Get an ergo baby. It really worked with me but now I just carry my little Josephine around while Im doing stuff. You get used to it (their weight) and they get used to your need to do stuff + they learn as they observe.

Emz - posted on 07/15/2010

i know what u mean..wit my first my partner always said (since he was already a dad n knew everything..bla bla bla) only lift them if they need it, leave them to cry for 5mins, put them straight back in the basket after feeding etc and yes trey is very independent now.. however since having my 2nd he is lifted and laid something shocking and all by my partner!!caelan cries at the drop of a hat and gets himself into wee states where u have to lift him or he'll be sick!i mentioned it to my partner and he says hes the baby of the family and our last child so y not lift him...or spoil him!!
i find my eldest so much easier to cope with!!!caelan cries if he cant see u, he's put down, put to bed!plus my partner is at work all day every day so im the one stuck with the clingyness!! so yes u can spoil them too young..ul know when to lift them and when they r just wanting attention but dont lose track of every day things either..its too easy just to sit there with them in ur arms.x

Brandy - posted on 07/14/2010

Wow, I was coming into this expecting everyone to be saying that CIO is good and to let him cry but it looks like some people have done their research. :) Babies need love and if your baby is having some separation anxiety and is being extra-needy, wanting to be held all the time, the quickest way and best way for your baby to get him through it is to be there for his every cry because him knowing that you are there for him all the time, whenever you are needed will build confidence and support him in becoming an independant person. Mothers are supposed to be nurturing and babies need to be held and comforted. I don't let my babies CIO are they are very independant from me and very confidant.

Angie - posted on 07/14/2010

Oh I wanted to add, a baby will eventually cry themselves to sleep if left to cry for a while. This isn't the baby learning to be independent, it's the baby learning to give up because they know no one is coming in to get them.

Angie - posted on 07/14/2010

The basic needs of a baby are to be fed, changed, clean and comfortable but many people forget one (to be held and cuddled). That is as much a need as any of the other things. It's how they build attachments and learn that they are safe. remember the baby has just spent 9 months living inside of you, hearing your heartbeat all day long and being warm and cozy. How scary must it be for them to suddenly be put in a big crib all alone with no heartbeat to listen to, no warm cuddly place where they can hear your voice?

I will say my girls rarely spent more than 10 minutes a day not touching someone (my husband or myself) for their first 4 months. They were in the sling, cosleeping with us, being carried or cuddled. The only time I put them down was when i was showering and then they were in the bouncy seat outside the shower watching me. They are very dependent, smart and outgoing kids now. Research shows a baby who develops a strong attachement to their caregiver actually is more dependent as they get older because they know they are safe and well protected. They are more likely to take chances because they know they have something to fall back on.

Jennifer - posted on 07/14/2010

I think it totally depends on the babies age. We didn't co-sleep, rock or son to sleep or rush to him the second he cried from a young age because habits are hard to break and once a mam starts those its hard to stop! We had plenty of cuddles and still do when he needs it. He's 7 1/2 months old now he settles himself to sleep, sleeps 7pm-6:30/7am and is a very independant, happy baby

Varda - posted on 07/14/2010

every baby is a world of his own, generally they get spoiled very quick, they find that when they cry we rush to them - they use it for everything and that's fine - that's the way it should be - it is us who need to know with our senses when to approach and how long to make the break from one scream to another, if we rush every time they cry they will take advantage of it at the end.

Toni - posted on 07/14/2010

Ok no you cannot spoil a young baby by holding them. I pretty much held my baby constantly (apart from when I was in bed - no co-sleeping) until he was 6 wks old - then I began to let him become more independant of me - it has NEVER hurt a baby to cry for a couple of minutes (infact my dr told me it helps to strengthen their lungs) so you can pop to the loo on your own etc.

I do not agree with carrying your baby in a sling - I found that as long as my son could hear me (I sang lullabies all the time to him when he was younger - and bear neccesities from Jungle Book - he loved it) he was happy.

We started CIO when our son was 3 months old - he rarely cries/cried for more than 5 mins before going to sleep. He is now 9 months and loves playing on his own - but also loves exploring (he got stuck under the dining room table today) and finding out what mommy is doing (he helps me with the laundry lol). I think that as long as you are not leaving your baby to cry for hours it will not adversly affect them.

Ultimatley do what works for your family - if leaving your son to cry a little works then do that but if you find that for you carrying your baby or holding them works do that - other peoples opinions should not matter because as long as you are not hurting your baby it has nothing to do with them. :-)

Danielle - posted on 07/14/2010

It depends on your babies age. My daughters doctor told me before a certain age, they can't self soothe themselves, so they need you to do it for them. If your baby is fed, changed and not too warm or cold and still crying, it is not unhealthy for them to cry for a little while (my daughters doctor said about 3-5 minutes) If he continues to cry, pick him up and try again. It can be frusterating at times, but keep your chin up, it gets better!!! Also have you tried swaddling? My daughter also loved her swing, it was the only way I could get her to stop crying!! :)

Minnie - posted on 07/14/2010

One thing more: you said Mommy's got stuff to do and can't hold you all day

Yes you can, indeed, and mothers all over the world do. Get a soft baby carrier: a sling, wrap, mei tai, or Ergo. Strap that baby to your back and do your chores. Strap him to your back when you do the dishes, cook, clean, take a walk, go shopping. He'll be happy and you get things done.

Vicki - posted on 07/13/2010

You can't spoil a baby by holding them. You can spoil a baby by feeding them junk food, buying them every toy when they're old enough to notice toys and that kind of thing. Giving them love by holding them? Not spoiling at all.

Nikki - posted on 07/13/2010

I held my son all the time, I still pick him up when he is crying , he's 13 months. I dont believe you can spoil a baby, a baby needs there mommy to comfort and soothe them, and studies have shown babies, who are not left to CIO are the ones who are the most independant later on, because they feel safe and secure.... My son is the most independant little boy out there and is not one for being held , hes all about doing his own things, and I held him all the time, I rocked him to sleep, we cuddled. I miss those days, now he is too busy to be in my arms, he has places to go lol

Jennifer - posted on 07/13/2010

i agree with lisa.

a baby needs to be held. it isn't even that they just want to be, they actually need it. human contact is essential for proper brain, cognitive, and emotional development.

google the name Harry Harlow and his surrogate mother experiments.

all babies have comfort needs and when those needs are met they grow into more independent, and confident children than those who are left to figure out how to comfort themselves.

Minnie - posted on 07/13/2010

Your post looks like a poem, lol.

Anyways- human infants are born incredibly vulnerable. Way back when if set down would be at risk of bodily harm. Just because they're safe in your home doesn't mean they know that!

Human infants are biologically programmed to need near-constant contact with their mothers (and the nature of breastfeeding [even if you aren't] pretty much dictates that). It maintains body temperature, regulates heart rate, and establishes equilibrium.

Basically, baby feels out of sorts and wrong when not being carried. Humans are primates who carry their infants on their bodies. A dry diaper and a full belly just don't cut it, biologically.

Nicole - posted on 07/13/2010

idk my mom told me that when i had my first daughter...i held her 24/7 till she was aat the stage where she was independent and didnt want to be held any more and she turned out just fine! just do whatever you think is right for you and your baby!