Can you hold a newborn too much?

Jessica - posted on 04/30/2010 ( 199 moms have responded )

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I get told a lot that if I hold my baby too much, he will be spoiled. He is only one month old-is spoiling that much of a possiblity at such a young age? How much snuggle time is too much?

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Doris - posted on 05/04/2010

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Hi Jessica,

Here is a great article about your concern, and no such thing as spoiling at 1 month!

SHUTDOWN SYNDROME

Throughout our 30 years of working with parents and babies, we have grown to appreciate the correlation between how well children thrive (emotionally and physically) and the style of parenting they receive.
"You're spoiling that baby!"
First-time parents Linda and Norm brought their four-month-old high-need baby, Heather, into my office for consultation because Heather had stopped growing. Heather had previously been a happy baby, thriving on a full dose of attachment parenting. She was carried many hours a day in a baby sling, her cries were given a prompt and nurturant response, she was breastfed on cue, and she was literally in physical touch with one of her parents most of the day. The whole family was thriving and this style of parenting was working for them. Well-meaning friends convinced these parents that they were spoiling their baby, that she was manipulating them, and that Heather would grow up to be a clingy, dependent child.
Parents lost trust
Like many first-time parents, Norm and Linda lost confidence in what they were doing and yielded to the peer pressure of adopting a more restrained and distant style of parenting. They let Heather cry herself to sleep, scheduled her feedings, and for fear of spoiling, they didn't carry her as much. Over the next two months Heather went from being happy and interactive to sad and withdrawn. Her weight leveled off, and she went from the top of the growth chart to the bottom. Heather was no longer thriving, and neither were her parents.
Baby lost trust
After two months of no growth, Heather was labeled by her doctor "failure to thrive" failure to thrive and was about to undergo an extensive medical workshop. When the parents consulted me, I diagnosed the shutdown syndrome. I explained that Heather had been thriving because of their responsive style of parenting. Because of their parenting, Heather had trusted that her needs would be met and her overall physiology had been organized. In thinking they were doing the best for their infant, these parents let themselves be persuaded into another style of parenting. They unknowingly pulled the attachment plug on Heather, and the connection that had caused her to thrive was gone. A sort of baby depression resulted, and her physiologic systems slowed down. I advised the parents to return to their previous high-touch, attachment style of parenting to carry her a lot, breastfeed her on cue, and respond sensitively to her cries by day and night. Within a month Heather was again thriving.
Babies thrive when nurtured
We believe every baby has a critical level of need for touch and nurturing in order to thrive. (Thriving means not just getting bigger, but growing to one's potential, physically and emotionally.) We believe that babies have the ability to teach their parents what level of parenting they need. It's up to the parents to listen, and it's up to professionals to support the parents' confidence and not undermine it by advising a more distant style of parenting, such as "let your baby cry it out" or "you've got to put him down more." Only the baby knows his or her level of need; and the parents are the ones that are best able to read their baby's language.

Babies who are "trained" not to express their needs may appear to be docile, compliant, or "good" babies. Yet these babies could be depressed babies who are shutting down the expression of their needs, and they may become children who don't ever speak up to get their needs met and eventually become the highest-need adults.

Karen - posted on 08/20/2012

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Simple, the answer is NO! You can NOT hold your baby too much at that age! I was told the same thing people are saying to you. My son is now a Very Independent 15 month old. I held my son as much as he wanted. He even napped in my arms quite often just because I didn't want to put him down. The poetic justice of this is, my friends who told me I would spoil my baby have extremely clingy children who are constantly seeking attention. My son is perfectly content playing on his own or exploring the house. He is very secure. He knows that I am still here even if he can't see me, (though I usually follow relatively close behind to make sure he doesn't get into anything he shouldn't). Their children throw fits if they can't see their mom or she leaves the room. So, to sum this up; Hold your baby as much as you and he wants! There is no such thing as too much at this young of an age!!!

Ruth - posted on 09/14/2013

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So many no-it-alls. It's a shame especially since most who post advice here seem to have only one child, and by the sounds of it that child is their first too. What ever happened to Mother's instinct, and common sense? Why do you mothers come onto the internet looking for answers that your own common sense, and or your mother's could supply. You do have mothers don't you? They raised you after all.

As for swaddling, that is a very big mistake past the first few weeks of an infant's life. My granddaughter at six months does not know what to do with her arms and holds them at her sides most of the time. That's being swaddled for more than four months, both day and night. How can a child's muscles grow.or how can they learn what their arms and hands are for?......remember what they do in Japan to keep their girl's feet small? If not please look it up, and maybe you could ask someone how their arm looked after being in a cast for six weeks. Atrophy, and needed muscle exercises.

This child does not know how to sit up by herself, nor rollover. Slept for four months on her back and not even able to move her head or turn her body to the other side. This was the great internet advice taken to the Nth degree which some people do.

You people need to grow up. If this was a 17 year old mother instead of a 30something I could excuse it, but.............this is not the case at all. I consider holding onto a child too much as having nothing to do with the child, but a possessiveness on the parent's part.....possessive and controlling.

Yimaira - posted on 11/18/2013

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That crazy grandmother talking about muscle development umm i have 3 KIDS and i hold my kids as long as they wanted me to, they'll nap on me and ill carry them even to go out in a carrier and or with my arms and the first 2 kids walked when they were 9 months and my 4 months old is already pushing him self to crawl a mom is about making baby feel protected and letting him know mommy is always there for him or her babys are love and MOTHER INSTINCT IS TO PROTECT and not torture a baby by letting him crying for a long period of time that.is terrible and.internet sometimes informs u more than a pediatrician! !!

Tami - posted on 08/27/2012

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You cannot hold a baby too much. A newborn needs time to adjust to his environment and you are the only safe, security he knows so he needs you now more than ever. When your baby can at least crawl and possibly even toddle then start worrying about coddling him to much but in the infant stage just enjoy having a little snuggle muffin. He will be too big to cuddle before you know it!

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Amy - posted on 09/22/2014

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read "Happiest Baby on the Block"!!
You definitely cannot hold an infant too much! Just think about how you held them for 24 hours a day while pregnant... they do not want to be independent as soon as they are born! They want to be held during the "fourth trimester"! Also, there will come a time when a child grows up and does not want to be held anymore... whatever age that may be, enjoy the cuddle time now!

Megan - posted on 08/30/2014

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Yes your baby can get spoiled, especially if you want to sleep alone. A baby who is held all the time, expects to be held. Nothing will console him until you pick him up. I love my son more than anything in the world, but I wanted him to be independent from the beginning, I wouldn't ignore my baby, he was right by me all the time, but in his boppy or bumbo or bouncy. But of corse it's up to you how you want to be, if you don't mind sharing your bed, or having little breaks than of corse hold him. I have a friend who holds her baby all the time because she is lazy. If she's holding her baby no one will ask her to do anything. And now she's annoyed cause her baby won't lay down in his crib, he wants to be held.

Binny - posted on 04/17/2014

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No you can always hold your baby, he will never get spoiled, only a$$holes who don't like kids will always say like that.

Ambur - posted on 11/26/2013

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If you hold your baby too much, your baby won't cry all the time like their babies did.

Helen - posted on 11/24/2013

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whoever is telling you that is . . . jealous?

If you want to hold your precious bundle, do just that! They cannot possibly be spoiled at that age, and while some children need to know that closeness in order to thrive, they ALL need to know they are loved and cared for and what better way to let them know?
I have 2 boys - 2 and 4 - and I cuddled them lots as babies, as did their dad. There was a midwife when I was in hospital with DS1, who was of the opinion that cuddling a baby spoiled them, and told DH off for cuddling our baby (who wasn't even 24 hrs old!!) - baby was asleep when he was picked up, had a lovely cuddle, and was STILL asleep when put back in the bassinet - how can that spoil a baby?
We cuddled our babies lots and now we have 2 well behaved, well adjusted, confident boys who are happy at school/nursery.
They both still want and need lots of cuddles and they both get them (even though sometimes I get frustrated at spending the afternoon sitting cuddling because there is so much other stuff I need to do!), so you snuggle, talk silly nonsense, kiss, blow raspberries, read stories and sing songs with your baby while you can and have fun!

Helene - posted on 09/17/2013

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You cannot hold a new born too much.
You cannot "spoil" a newborn.
You cannot snuggle your newborn too much.
Some babies NEED to be held and feel your body against theirs. Buy a sling, so that you can carry your LO and get things done around the house.
As to those giving you this incorrect advise, did they time travel from the Victorian Era?
BeFit-Mom

Roni - posted on 08/27/2012

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Babies at that age do not know what being spoiled is like. Only between the ages 6 months and up they do. You can also look it up online. on every site you'll read they (babies) do not understand it, snuggle time, kisses ..etc, is actually good and the more, the better, it tells them they can trust you, they'll know your face better.

Kathryn - posted on 08/20/2012

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G'Day - you can never hold your child too much - Celebrate snuggle time!! they grow up too fast!!

all the best Kathryn x

Dianna - posted on 08/19/2012

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Theres no such thing as spoiling a baby... they say that a baby is spoiled when they are uncomfortable being away from mom... and cry or fuss when you put them down.... I was told that when my children were little too.... It is a natural reflex for baby to want to be near you. Your heart beat, your scent, your voice, its home for your little guy. And before you know it he'll be up and running away.. and wont want to cuddle you all the time... so for your sake and his.... cuddle snuggle that baby as much as you want :)

Jo - posted on 08/19/2012

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NO! I held my daughter for practically her first three years and yet she managed to graduate college, get married and have a daughter of her own. You can not hold a one month old baby too much unless they don't want to be held or you're keeping her awake. Just keep the baby happy, it's not that hard. Just say to yourself, "what would make me happy?". To be loved, held, to feel safe and fed and dry. Well you may not think of the dry part but the baby does.

Katie - posted on 08/17/2012

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No! They grow so fast. I can barely pick my daughter up to put her in the car and she is just over 5!!!

Adrianna - posted on 08/15/2012

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to learn all about brain development to have no more doubts : "The Happiest Baby On The Block" by H. Karp, and "Brain Rules for Babies" by Medina.

HappyMommy - posted on 08/14/2012

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No u can't dear...after two months they start to understand but until two months they need to learn to trust. But after that stop try the pacifier for comfort and stop holding your baby but until then snuggle away ...btw u should swaddle to imitate your tight hold

Sally - posted on 08/14/2012

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NO! Until fairly recently, a baby who was not in constant physical contact with it's mom would die fairly quickly. Touching (and being touched by) it's mom helps a baby learn to regulate its breathing, heartbeat, and temperature. It helps mom learn her babies cues so she can meet its needs better. Babies who are carried more tend to cry less and babies who cry less tend to have less stressed, better rested moms. Several millennia of species survival traits don't sit down and shut up just because a few decades of social conditioning tell them to.
If you'd still like to get things done, get yourself a comfortable carrier so you both get the contact you need, but you still have hands available to do other things.

Melissa - posted on 08/10/2012

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You can not spoil a 1 month old by holding them too much. Meeting their needs will actually make them more secure and independent later on.

Lauren - posted on 08/06/2012

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Newborns are used to being carried in a warm womb so wrap that baby up and cuddle while you can!! It will not spoil him! My daughter is 7 months and i awlays hold her as much as i want and she is not spoiled. i do let her cry it out sometimes to let her know she can't always be in mommys arms. but we both love to cuddle and often still take naps with eachother! i dont believe that holding a baby will spoile them, the only way to spoil them is with toys and kisses ^.^ hehehe

Kristin - posted on 08/05/2012

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NEVER!!!
This is the bonding period...
Infants THRIVE from being held,especially skin to skin contact!
Hold your infant as MUCH AS YOU WANT!!!
They grow up WAY TOO FAST & this is your ONLY chance with them as an infant!!!

Kelly - posted on 07/30/2012

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From the old school perspective, I remember my grandmother (who had in home daycare) used to tell us all the time to "Put those babies down'. You're going to spoil them." I think in the past we were always taught that holding a baby too much caused them to be spoiled. Like so many habits we have leftover from childhood, that has changed. As a foster parent, I had a therapist tell me there is no way to spoil a newborn or a baby. She swore they need to be reassured that someone will be there to care for their needs; it was a totally new way of thinking of things. At the time, I had a three month old foster baby that cried constantly; I knew this was most likely due to unfamiliarity with me and my home, as well as some other issues. I ended up buying a sling (haven't seen that kind lately) and kept her in it always. She was always near, and I always had a hand free to do what needed to be done. She felt very safe snuggled up in it, and the body contact was just what was needed. Before long, she was on track and as she got older I was able to put her down.

Jane - posted on 02/14/2011

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NEVER enough is how much you can hold a baby. don't listen to anyone but your baby! the more you are connected to them, the more trust and confidence you are building. i dare you to let someone who's telling you that, to smell his little head and not want to hold him!

Michelle - posted on 02/14/2011

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This is an ongoing argument in my house with my spouse. He believes I am and have spoiled out almost 2 month old son!

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That young they don't understand what spoiling is. Whoever told you this is silly, babies love to be held and touch this is their way to feel loved and secure. Perhaps you shouldn't listen to the person that suggested how much about anything. Ppl like that drive me crazy. Hold and snuggle all you want:)

Valerie - posted on 05/22/2010

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hold and sniggle that baby if you want it to develop into a confident and secure toddler...don't listen to the ones that say that you can spoil an infant. they are wrong!!!!!..all the best

Kristin - posted on 05/22/2010

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You cannot spoil a baby under the age of 6 months. You can only snuggle them too much if you are BOTH getting crabby from it. He is learning from all of this "excessive" snuggling that you will be there for him for whatever he needs. How is that spoiling your child? Ignore those people, and do what you want to do for your baby.

Allison - posted on 05/22/2010

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You absolutely cannot hold a baby too much. They need to start to learn self confidence, but not until 3 or 4 months.

Rachel - posted on 05/21/2010

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I was reading all of these comments and I'm glad I am seeing everyone pretty much agree with the way I think. My mother-in law is always saying you shouldn't hold a baby all the time and they need to sleep in their crib otherwise will be spoiled. Our baby loves to be cuddled and he is now 18 weeks old and it does seem if I put him down he starts crying more but I just believe he needs to be cuddled and as everyone says they love it and need that closeness. I know we have only been able to have him sleep in his crib for max 2 hours so maybe I should try the idea of putting one of my shirts around a teddy and put in crib with him so he has my scent. I'll have to try and let everyone know how that worked out. Enjoyed everyones comments.

Magaly - posted on 05/18/2010

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I also heard about 'spoiling' by holding too much and I didn't listen. My son is 10 1/2 mo and we still love holding him! He enjoys it too. He lets us know when he's had enough. He is definitely not spoiled!!!!!!! He trusts us and knows he can find security in us. He is a well adjusted independent little boy!!!!!! So hold your baby as much as your arms can take. Like the cliche 'they're only that size once' so relish it! =)

JENNIFER - posted on 05/18/2010

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I had people tell me the same thing about holding a baby too much. My doctor told me that you cannot spoil a newborn. I've also read that it makes them more secure to be held and snuggled.

Tiffany - posted on 05/17/2010

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there is never enough snuggle time with a baby that young.
you'll want to watch around 6 months old or so when he is able to 'manipulate' you (by this I mean he realises that his cries will get your attention, and therefore you pick him up)
but until then, the holding him is a really good thing. It cements trust and bonding in your child, and you'll never have this opportunity again.

Andrea - posted on 05/17/2010

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I was told I was holding my daughter too much (at 2 weeks old) from her dad (we are NOT together) and even from my mom. I thanked them for their advice, and then followed what I felt was best for my daughter, and me. I practiced attachment parenting. I did put her down a lot, but as soon as she would cry, I'd pick her up. I think a secure attachment has made her so independent now at 18 mos. She walked at 9 mos, and has been very independent, but is quite a snuggle bug and I love the great combo of connection and independence. I'm always there for her (and she knows that) and I trust her to be on her own, too. Everyone will tell you what they think you "should" do, so follow your heart...what works for me, may not work for you! I still treasure the moments of watching my daughter sleep! Enjoy each moment! :)

Cara - posted on 05/17/2010

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now thats called "testing mommy" and its ok to show them some tough love, alongwith a reassuring explanation.

Brenda - posted on 05/17/2010

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What about when they get to say around 4 and just want you all the time? Is that from not holding enough as a baby or just a normal 4 yr old/

Cara - posted on 05/17/2010

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Absolutely! Babies that are held close, especially at 1 mth old, need that skin to skin, to regulate their own temperature and regulate heartrate and respiration. After that initial month, a new born will NOT cry unless they need something, and sometimes all they need is to be held close, and breathing in their ear really helps settle a fussy baby. Failure to thrive, and many other detachment issues can happen if you dont hold your baby enough! Once they hit 6 mths old sometime they will cry just forthe sake of crying, but anytime before that, you can never hold them and reassure them too much!

Carla - posted on 05/16/2010

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I agree with Katarina,you can't spoil them at such a young age.They do need to be held and enjoy your snuggle time.I ignored my ex and my family when I had my daughter and she turned out just fine,now she is 6 yrs old and she shows no signs of being "spoiled" from being held too much.

Anita - posted on 05/15/2010

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No, get yourself a sling (Mr price home or baby sense) and "wear" your baby if you dont want to hold him/her the whole time. Snuggle if you want, obvious their small bodies can get uncomfortable, sling help to keep them close.

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2010

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Oh yea, and also, think of it this way.... a baby inside you was being constantly 'held' in a warm, safe, secure place 24/7, and is now out in a scary world. They need contact. So even if you hold your baby 12 hours a day, they are still spending 12 hours on their own, which is a dramatic change to what they have been used too. Which is also why swaddling comforts sleeping newborns. So holding a baby will not spoil it.

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2010

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No you can't, I think the child won't be capable of being 'spoiled' till about 6 months of age. I think why people say that is because they would rather not allow their baby to come too attached to them, and visa versa, so that being a mom doesn't take away their 'life'. And that is extremely sad, because it goes against every mothering instinct. And being a mom should be the biggest highlight of your life!
Also I don't think you can spoil a child by cuddling too much. I think all kids need that, until they are a LOT older. I think you can only spoil a child by giving in when they scream or misbehave, or allowing them to dictate bedtime/house rules, etc instead of following yours. Therefore, when your baby starts to get older and understand right from wrong, etc, be strict on discipline, make sure rules are not broken without consequence, and make sure you have a good and healthy bedtime routine, etc, but without slacking off on the hugs, kisses and cuddles.
So carry and snuggle with and hug and kiss your baby as much as you want! And at around 4-6 months, you will hopefully be rewarded with some infantile hugs/kisses back ♥

Meredith - posted on 05/14/2010

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My baby is nearly 11 months old, and I still hold her every chance I get. By now, she tries to escape from me and "travel" most the time, though, haha.

When I first had her, a lot of older family members told me the same thing- it didn't make sense then, and seeing how un-"spoiled" my daughter is, doesn't make sense now.

All babies want is love, milk, and a clean bum!

Demetra - posted on 05/14/2010

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You are doing the right thing, hold your baby as much as possible. I held my little girl as much as possible, and she's now a confident and loving little girl. I ask you, How can such a pure love spoil a child?

Kylie - posted on 05/14/2010

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All i can say is well done- so refreshing to see all these positive posts about holding babies and responding to their needs. So often you read sites that are anti this type of parenting and I am releived to see that so many others think like me. "The Science of Parenting" by Margot Sunderland is a great book to read based on reaserch about what babies and children need to develop. Love the baby cuddles!!

Mary Lou - posted on 05/14/2010

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You can hold your baby as long as you need to or want to. They are used to being close to you,so enjoy it. Just make sure you are in control & don't let the baby control you. You both need to enjoy each other. I'm a great-grandmother & am enjoying every minute I can

Alison - posted on 05/14/2010

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its your baby and u are with it most ,get your patners support i liken to when a dog has puppies the feed cuddle sleep, feed cuddle sleep and so on for 6weeks or more, they need love warmth feeding and to know u are there early on your doing agreat job keep it up if any one says anything u say I CHOSE TO DO IT LIKE THIS

Candice - posted on 05/14/2010

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I held my now 2yr old all the time...apart from floor time where i'd get down and play with her. She slept in bed with me also. I was told by everyone that i would have a clingy child who would never sleep in her own bed. She proved them wrong and was happily in her own big bed by 12months sleeping right through the night and is the most confident little girl. Definitely not clingy unless she is sick. I now have a 4 month old and i cuddle her as much as i can. Im studying now so cant hold her as much as my older child so just enjoy it while you can. they grow up way too fast.

Erika - posted on 05/14/2010

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You definately cannot spoil them at that age by holding them too much! This is the time when you cuddle the most and form a strong bond with your baby! Babies who are held and cuddled alot tend to be more calm. Just remember soak up this time as much as possible because you cant get these days back. You are the mommy and you know best! :)

Jessica - posted on 05/14/2010

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My opinion is absolutley not! You cannot spoil someone with love! There is no such thing as spoiling a baby by holding them to much. You might make your own life miserable if you take it so far that they never want to be put down or held by anyone else. There is a balance to everything. If your baby is only one month old they don't even get that they are not a part of you, so I think getting spoiled is a little bit beyond an emotion a 1 year old can feel. I have two boys, one is 9 and the other is 16 months. They were held as much as we/they wanted. My mother watches my youngest during the day and did the same with my oldest. Her and I have had this conversation before many times, and in all of her child rearing experience we totally agree that you cannot spoil a baby with too much love!

Mindee - posted on 05/14/2010

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It's important to keep in mind that the first 3 or so years in a child's life is when you are 'hard wiring' their brain. You're teaching them that you'll either be there for them, or you won't. (And this will affect them the rest of their lives). Meeting a baby/child's needs will NEVER lead to anything but good behavior, and when they are just babies, anything they cry for is a need. This doesn't just apply to new borns. Two books that I am really grateful to have in my personal library are, "Good Nights" by Jay Gordon, M.D., and "Attachment Parenting" by Katie Allison Granju. Both of these books are unlike any I have ever found on parenting, and actually discuss what happens physically, psychologically, emotionally and even hormonally when parents follow the newer traditions of our western culture of not meeting their baby's needs and letting them cry it out, versus what happens when those needs are met, and how it leads to a happier and more emotionally sound child and adult. I think you'll find a lot of the answers and support to your questions in these books. (It's always helpful to have a good resource, especially if you have family/in-laws that disapprove of your approach to parenting).
Keep snuggling that little angel of yours! She'll thank you for it some day. ♥

Erica - posted on 05/14/2010

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I would say you were doing more harm if you DIDN'T hold your baby all the time.They need the closeness and all the cuddling:) It doesn't last forever, before you know it they will be gaining thier independence and hardly want those cuddles at
all:( Take 'em while you can get 'em:) Congrats on the baby!!!

Katrina - posted on 05/14/2010

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Whoever told you this obviously isn't very tactile! Having grown up in a family where affection was sparse, resulting in a very strained relationship with my parents, has made me a firm believer that you can never 'spoil' your children with love & affection. Your darling boy was cocooned safely inside you for 9mths so the outside world must be a bit of a shock. I used to carry my first born around with me in a 'Babba Sling' while I got on with things as it made her feel secure & she's suffered no ill effects, if anything she is very independant & knows mum/dad are always there for comfort. Our second is due mid Oct & I shall snuggle him too! Snuggle all you want as they grow up too fast! x

Jenny - posted on 05/14/2010

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No! At that age they need to be held so feel secure and loved. Its when they get older is when you have to be careful. But that doesnt make them spoilt just make them clingy. lol... :-D

Dawn - posted on 05/13/2010

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Just think of it this way...when you were pregnant they were with you 100% of the time. Just the mere fact that they are born reduces the amount of contact that are use to having with you by 50%. They NEED to be held to reassure them of your love and connection. Just remember that any choices you are making as a mom makes it the best choices for your baby. No one knows that little person more than you do so dont feel like you have to defend your parenting choices :)

Carolyn - posted on 05/13/2010

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You can never hold your baby too much... that is like loving them too much. They don't understand spoiling. Everyone should check out "the baby book" by dr sears or at least "attachment parenting" by dr sears. It is Dr Sears on in tv show the Doctors father that wrote the book. It is awesome and I have a 17 1/2 month old and she is the most well behaved child ever. She is very loving and I love it. Sometimes I feel she is being needy but then I think I am her best friend and she loves me so I love her back. I think those books are the best things for raising a newborn and even while pregnant. I followed everything except the co sleeping for such a long period of time. We coslept until she was about 3 months when she was starting to squirm too much. Then she was wonderful in her crib.

So bottom line is give them all the love they give you, you both need it, forget about what anyone else says!!!

Allison - posted on 05/22/2010

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You absolutely cannot hold a baby too much. They need to start to learn self confidence, but not until 3 or 4 months.

JENNIFER - posted on 05/18/2010

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I had people tell me the same thing about holding a baby too much. My doctor told me that you cannot spoil a newborn. I've also read that it makes them more secure to be held and snuggled.

Demetra - posted on 05/14/2010

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You are doing the right thing, hold your baby as much as possible. I held my little girl as much as possible, and she's now a confident and loving little girl. I ask you, How can such a pure love spoil a child?

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