Can you spoil an infant?!
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Janice - posted on 11/28/2011
CIO is never something that should be used on babies under six months.
Those who know zero about infant development may tell you differently but babies need to be held. Cuddling your infant will help them learn security and as they grow they will be more independent. I do believe in helping older babies learn how to soothe themselves but not at 3 months.
Deb - posted on 11/28/2011
The last part of this poem My husbands grandmother used to quote all the time. I never realized until I researched it there was more to the poem. I think it says it all. We need to spend time with them while they are litte. One day they will be all grown up and gone. I know I have 4 already grown and gone with children of their own and I long for the days that they were little again. Within 6 years my house will be empty again. I say enjoy and soothe them while they are young.
SONG FOR A FIFTH CHILD
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
Bernadette - posted on 11/28/2011
I wouldn't say "spoil" exactly, but they can get a bit too dependent on being cuddled to sleep if that's what you always do, and then won't sleep any other way. My son and daughter both went through this stage briefly before I decided it was time to stop cuddling them to sleep. I don't exactly let them cry it out either though. I found the best way to get them to self-settle was to put them in bed when I first noticed them starting to get tired but before they get so tired they get cranky. Make sure your baby has a full tummy, a clean nappy, the room is the right temperature, etc, and put him to bed when he is happy. Don't put him in when he's over tired and cranky, because all he'll do is scream. And if he goes from being happy to being cranky when you put him in bed and leave him (especially if he starts to scream hysterically) don't leave him for more than about 10 minutes before rescuing him. That way he will learn that you will always come back for him, and hopefully he won't stress out so much the next time. Eventually, he will start putting himself to sleep. I never let mine scream it it out though. If they had a whinge, that was fine as long as it didn't get worse - they would eventually sleep. Both ended up becoming great at self-settling in a very short time by doing it this way. I certainly don't think they were "spoilt' prior to this, but having to cuddle them until they went to sleep was getting pretty old for me, especially when I had things to do like dinner, shower, etc, so that I could go to bed myself. My nights were getting later and later and I had to teach them to self-settle for my own sanity as they were becoming too reliant on it. It didn't take them long to learn though, and I didn't let them scream it out. If they were distressed, I always rescued them.
Natasha - posted on 11/21/2011
Cry it out is actually really dangerous, especially for an infant. It raises their cortisol levels and really stresses them out making them insecure. For all they know you aren't coming back. They cry for a reason. Sometimes they just want to be held by mom. :-) Plenty of research shows that by 'attachment parenting' your kids they become more secure and have better self esteem. Check out some attachment parenting books if you're interested :-) Kids grow up way too fast to not snuggle them.
Emily - posted on 11/21/2011
No, you can't "spoil" an infant. I hate that term, whether it's for a baby or a child. Babies are dependent on us for everything, and that includes soothing. They learn to soothe themselves when they are ready to do this... forcing them to do so by making them "cry it out" is absolutely unnecessary, and may even be harmful. Comfort your baby.
~â¥Little Miss - posted on 11/20/2011
Sooth him please. CIO is not a good method in my opinion. You can never love and hold an infant to much. They need that as much as they need food and diaper changes. Cuddle and hug your little one as often as you can.
Jessica - posted on 11/19/2011
There is no way to spoil a baby, My baby will not go sleep unless I hold her and pat her back but thats what babys need. I watch a show called the Doctors and on one of their episode they said that before the age of a year a baby is looking for security &By the mother or father holding the baby and comfoting it that shows the baby they can trust you in a way, I know it sounds kinda corny but it makes sense. You always want you baby to know they can always rely on you and they learn that from a young age. So yes I think you should soothe him.
Aniesha - posted on 11/18/2011
Definitely soothe him, you can't spoil a baby, they just want Mummy's cuddles, they've been next to ur heartbeat for 9 months, it's pretty traumatic to all of a sudden be taken away from it. I never ever let my baby cry it out, & he's almost 3 now & it hasn't ruined him.
Vicki - posted on 11/18/2011
I would choose soothing him. I don't regard comforting, loving, cuddling, breastfeeding when needed as spoiling for such a little baby. Some disagree but at this age I wouldn't call it 'self-soothing', it's more like giving up because no one is coming to help.
Now if you were feeding him lollipops and coke in a bottle I would regard that as spoiling. :) You can't spoil a baby with love, go with your gut.