Cannot have sex as to painful, please help! :(

Roxanne - posted on 11/24/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )




I had my daughter four months ago and even before I had her sex was always pretty painful. It could take up to an hour and a half for me to be full penetrated as it was to painful for me any other way than going really slow, and even then it wasn't all that pleasurable.

When I gave birth I tore inside and out and needed an episiotomy. I ended up with 35 stitches. My daughter was tiny. 5lbs and she hadn't even crowned after pushing for 3 hours and she got cut out cause her heart rate dropped.

I recently tried having sex with my boyfriend and its was horrible. I'd barely been penetrated and the pain was unbearable and I bled too :(

I'm starting to think my body just doesn't want me to stretch down there, because its seemed like it didn't even want to stretch for my baby and its starting to really frustrate me now because I want to be able to enjoy sex and not have this pain :(

So does anyone have any advice on what might being going on or experienced the same and overcome it?

- I breastfeed my daughter so I know that will be a contributing factor at the moment.

I also use lubricants when having sex/trying to and I do not have any infections or STDs, so they would not be affecting factors


Lydia - posted on 11/24/2010




If you always had painful sex you probably have vaginismus. It can also be increased (or caused) through a tear during birth. It can be treated with different relaxation techniques etc. Check out the website to see if you think this is what you have:

Please talk to your gynecologist, the sooner it is treated the better. Also it is normal for the first couple of times sex after birth to have some pain or little bleeding, but if you already used to have pain before I would make sure that there is not any physical problem. Vaginismus is the most common, but there are other like a hormone issue etc and most can be treated easily.

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Ramona - posted on 12/05/2010




The best advice I can tellyou id SEE YOUR GYNO, i would not want to be in pain especially during something that you are suppose to be enjoying.

Rita M. - posted on 12/02/2010




i had a sad c-section, it took me a whole month to recover fully, how do i know? we tried having sex some time after and it hurt like hell, it burned before, douring and after, so we stopped and waiting a little longer, it kept hurting but since we decided to continue it has been hurting much less, i guessed it was like loosing my virginity again, you gotta keep at it to get better and to feel less pain

Serena - posted on 11/25/2010




Hey Hun,
I had my son naturally and i didnt have sex until 3 months after he was born. I had stitches too. I did google about sex after giving birth.. (weird but hey google has everything) I read somewhere that if you think about if it is going to hurt, it does end up hurting more than it should. So try not to think about it, Otherwise visit your doctor. Maybe its something else. Its still like sore for maybe a second or 2 when we have sex but im just paranoid about my partner doing something to my stitches.. (being paranoid)

Morgan - posted on 11/25/2010




I had almost the same problem, I had my daughter with forceps 33 stiches for me, it was scar tissue that was my problem I had surgery to remove it when my daughter was 6 months old shes 10 months now and things are great down there :)
also as hard as it is you need to try and relax, I know how it feels to be in that position and you tense up at even the though of sex which will make it harder on you maybe ask you man for a nice massage, or have a hot bath before you do the deed :)
Good luck!!

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