did anyone's husband help with your baby in the night?

[deleted account] ( 286 moms have responded )

my husband goes to work (he works 3 13hour days per week) and he comes home and complains that i'm not working (i'm a stay at home mom) and he works so hard and he needs his sleep. that being a stay at home mom is not a job--i'm not working because i'm not bringing in a paycheck! every now and then i ask him to help our son because he wakes up screaming (right now our son is sick). so, i am just curious if any husband or baby's daddy helps you out or is selfish and just wants to sleep and watch tv or movies all day.

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Jessica - posted on 09/16/2011

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My husband is a good person; educated, intelligent, good looking etc...Now that we have a baby I have realized he is selfish, self centered, and lazy. Yes he goes to work. So what? I do everything I used to do before the baby on top of taking care of the babies needs. Men are annoying, selfish creatures. That is why they are the daddies and we are the mommies. Don't hold your breath waiting for him to do anything. Just count him as another child. It's unfortunate but true.

Craig - posted on 11/28/2013

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Ok I'm a dad I get up at 6a for work get home 6p I pay all the bills I have to cook dinner because my stay at home wife doesnt like to cook and expects me to watch our 5 month old son the rest of the night so she can sleep plus I do the laundry but she complains she doesn't get to do anything but stay with the baby then gets mad because I dj on the on Wednesday til 12a for extra money I think she's selfish and lazy then she gets mad cause I doze off watching movies or don't feel up to sex what's sexy about not coming home to a clean house no dinner and complaints about I can't afford to get her hair done. Am I overreacting here or is she missing the boat?

Nichole - posted on 10/23/2013

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Not at all. I'm exhausted because I'm
Doing it alone. Just like the person above, my husband said "I need sleep for work" when I asked him for help. I'm a psychologist and because of my background I think I understand (at least in part) why husbands don't seem very likely to help out with their children-especially when they're young infants.
Girls learn from a young age that to 'survive' we need to live with a sense of community; of caring for others as our survival depends on the survival of others. We have an innate need to nurture others, even if its to the detriment of our own self preservation. Men on the other hand are taught that self preservation is more important that group preservation. Seems counterintuitive but even male animals will mate and leave their partner to do all the work. I believe it's an inborn drive perhaps because if the man doesn't preserve himself he can't lead and care for his family. So, he puts all his effort into preserving himself so he can go to work to provide. However, he doesn't realize how much his wife is sacrificing by doing everything at home. I think many men get confused about what 'providing' means and forget that part of being a good provider involves providing emotional support- not just a pay check. This happens because men value themselves based on output or what they produce that is measurable. Dollars are measurable; emotions are not (not to them anyway).

Added to all this is the fact that many boys are taught to be tough and not cry or show emotions. If you can't express your emotions you never learn to understand them. And if you can't understand your own emotions, you can't understand anyone else's either. And as a result many men have a lack of empathy for what their wives are going through. They may come off as if they don't care but truly, they can't relate to what we are going through because they lack the skills to be empathic.
I'm still working on changing things in my home. What I've found works is writing a letter to my husband about how I'm feeling when I'm calm and rational and give it to him when he is clear headed as well. Screaming at him doesn't work because when a person becomes angry the rational part of your brain shuts down and the emotional part (the amygdala) takes over. It may also help to leave him with baby for a few hours so he can really see what you go through. Since men lack the skills to show empathy, they may have to
experience it before they can 'get' it!
It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage going after the birth of a child. In fact, the most vulnerable time for a divorce is after the birth of the first child. For this reason it's going to take a lot of communication(while calm) about your feelings and some clear conversations about what you need from him. If he won't budge then it may be time for marriage counseling. Your child needs a stable home to grow up in so it's important.

Lexi - posted on 09/20/2011

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Our arrangement until our son slept through the night was always for me to do it solo on the nights before his work days and on days he had off, he would help more and let me sleep in. He couldn't help with feedings since my son breast fed the first 8 months but he would do diaper changes or stay up if T wouldn't fall back asleep and he'd let me sleep in when T woke up in the morning. During the evenings I expected (and still do) him to change a few diapers, deal with some fussy moments, keep baby distracted while I cooked dinner, etc... He was even a stay at home dad for a few months so I think he has an idea of how much work taking care of a kid actually is. Being a dad is more than just bringing home a pay check. If you are not breastfeeding, I say it's time to take a 2 day trip on his days off and leave baby with him. The rules have to be that he still cook dinner, do laundry and anything else he expects you to do while your "not working". He ought to have a much better understanding of your needs after that. When my husband starts to get caught up in his own stuff and forget what I'm dealing with I remind him that he works 60 hours then gets to come home and have time off. He gets weekends and evenings to do whatever he wants. I work 24/7. I am constantly on call whether day or night. I never get a moment to truly relax because even when the kid's quietly entertaining himself or sleeping I still have to be tuned in to every sound and ready to jump into mommy action any second. Even when I sit on the computer, like now, I'm still working. I've gotten up twice in just typing this paragraph to take the wipes away from him and remind him that it's not ok to climb the book shelf! He's interrupted me multiple times asking for this or that or wanting on my lap. I have to run all my errands, do the house work and everything else with constant interruption. I see this is a very old post so hopefully by now you and hubby have smoothed things out. Best of luck!

Amber - posted on 11/13/2009

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I could see him not wanting to help on nights that he has to work. 13 hour days are rough. Although, the other 4 nights there should be no excuse for him not to help. Just because you stay home with the baby doesn't mean you get to sleep in and lounge all day. I think you should talk to him and let him know that if he continues to do this, it's going to cause resentment and bitterness between the two of you, let him know that you really need his help. I have a stay at home husband, and he gets up with me every night. He gets our 4 month old out of her crib and brings her to me to nurse, he changes her, and he gets me anything I may need. He does this nightly, as much as 3 times a night!

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Dora - posted on 12/08/2014

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i thought i am alone! our first boy had/has disturbed sleep he would wake up every exact hour when he was little, because my husband worked long hours i was alone getting to the baby in the night, the problem is the baby never had a proper nap during the day but only a few 30 minutes ones. After 6 months of not sleeping i was falling on my face and was scared i might hurt myself or the baby in the night from tiredness so i took the boy to our bed, he slept with us till not too long ago, he's 3,5 now. Thank God my second child has been sleeping quite well mostly only waking once or twice, but he started teething very late and some nights he wakes up so often.... i don't remember when i slept last time! and by now I'm so so tired my nerves don't stick i sometimes take it out on the kids and feel so guilty. When i suggest he gives me a hand i hear it all... how he doesn't sleep enough and how i have all time during the day to relax....and the best one i heard was "you wanted kids"!

Julia - posted on 09/23/2014

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I only ask my husband to help with babies at night if I'm super tired. If I'm breastfeeding, I don't see why he should have to get up too every single time. That being said, my husband will wake up and help burp or change a diaper any time I ask him to.

User - posted on 08/26/2014

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just like my husband... he expects me to work everything in the house just like the times before the baby... he never helps with the baby or with anything around the house and when i ask him why? he says he is tired and that it is not his job... All the time he tells me to keep the baby quite and that I am making him cry on purpose ... and that i dont give any consideration to the fact that he has to wake up early to go to work... He always says that the baby crying brings him headache... It just upsets me .. I stopped having expectations from him because it would only hurt me not him not the baby!!

Thomas M. - posted on 08/24/2014

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Being a stay-at-home-mom is by far the hardest job there is, and requires the most talent and coordination to be successful. This makes you the family CEO. If this job isn't done right the whole family is in turmoil. Make the time you do have together as a family quality time, and I bow to all you mom's and also single parents who have this task. T M E

Thomas M. - posted on 08/24/2014

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The problem is he is a man, and has to be guided in the direction you need him to go. when he gets it right reward him. T M E

Portia - posted on 08/24/2014

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My husband works 9 hours a day, i also work 9 hours a day in the office too... I have two nannies who looks after our 8 yrs old, 2 yrs old and 3 months old baby but when we come home i tend to my 8 yrs old boy, i help him with his home work, prepare dinner and eat together with him and feed our 2 yrs old girl then take care of our 3 month old baby. At night our baby wakes up every 1 or 2 hours so i feed him, change diaper and play with him then by 5 am i cook breakfast, wash the bottles, get ready to work then the same cycle again at work and at home. I told my husband how i wish i can get some help and sleep at least by weekend but i still take care of our baby full time even on weekends. I had a c section but i only got help for the first 2 weeks from my husband. Im tired... Im sad... And i resent him for not helping me. Only thing he does is if i need to do gardening on saturdays is lie down beside our sleeping kids, play ipad with our 2 yr old girl while he watches tv or plays with his own ipad then ask help from nanny or from m me if he needs to take a nap in the afternoon.

Cali_gurl_smiles - posted on 08/15/2014

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I'm a stay at home mom with a simular situation Christi. My son however has ADHD and I unfortunately have been battling stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. My husband complains that he has to go to work, so he can't deal with our son when it's bedtime, and always overlooks the fact that I need sleep as well ( especially because I need more rest due to my comprised immune system) and requests that I need to get our son to sleep. I feel he believes that dealing with cancer and taking care of our son, cleaning, cooking, cleaning up his messes should be my job because he works hard. Lately I have not been taking care of my needs, and I am getting sick more frequently. Sometimes I believe that my husband forgets that I have to get proper sleep so I can take care of our son and his needs which also include being his alarm clock every morning. My extended family members are all very busy and can't help. I feel like I'm drowning in stress with having to deal with basically everything. Christi, I absolutely understand your situation, and sympathisee but my only advice is to sit down and talk with your husband, and explain to him in a calm and collected way and tell him that you can't raise your child and do all of what needs to be done, all by yourself. Also, explain that you absolutely need his help, and ask him if he could help more with some of the chores around the house, or to work as a team to calm your son down when he cries and if he truly loves and cares for you and your child, that you would greatly appreciate any help :-) I hope my advice is helpfull, and hope you are able to successfully get your husband to help you. :-D

Tom - posted on 07/26/2014

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Craigs post is so true for many men in UK - i did the same to no gratitude - i would come home to a pig sty, the constant complaining how bad her day had been, no dinner ready and the words " i am a full time mum not a full time house wife" so basicialy why do wife's stop becoming wife's when they become mum's - bring back the caveman era when men knew what they had to do and women knew what they had to do not even that far back the 70's for me were a childhood memory of men working to earn money and women keeping home everyone was happy so now in this day and age men still do what they are programmed to do and women want to do what men are programmed to do - is it not true that the suicidal rate for women has gone through the roof since they wanted to do mans job - it is because it is not in there DNA - there is no shame in having known responsibilities but most importantly a happy home

Ilaria - posted on 07/11/2014

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We have an 11 years old, 3 years old and a 10 months old. I'm a stay at home mom babysitting 3 times a week. My hubby was great at the beginning, I got C-section with all three so he was the one for the first month to get up at night, getting the baby and waited for me to sit for give the bottle to the baby and then he was going to change them and put them back to sleep but now, he can be great and selfish. Lucky me most of the times he can be home from work by 6.30 pm so he cooks dinner but that is it. After dinner he is going to sit on the couch watching tv or playing on his phone while I'm loading the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen and watching the baby (the 11 and 3 usually watch TV together or play puzzles), when I'm done I put the baby a sleep and then the 3 years old in bed,usually by 9.30 pm they are a sleep. He is wonderful when he plays with the girls too bad that I have to bring the baby to him, sit her next to him and leave so is like I force him to do it and in that case he can pick her up and start and play with her and her 3 year old sister.

Aniceta - posted on 07/11/2014

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Not sure if I'm alone but I do all the baby duties and even if I don't get sleep I'm never tired. I've been waiting for my baby for so long that I don't mind getting up in the middle of the night to tend to the baby. My husband works all day and he deserves to rest when he get home. He doesn't get up at night or do any baby duties, such as feed the baby (baby is breastfeed) or change diapers. Most of time he will cook us dinner or make his own meal and I make my own. I do all the housework on top of watching my baby. He will hold him if he cries and I'm in the bathroom or shower.

Dawn - posted on 05/19/2014

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After we got home from the hospital, my husband slept in the babys room on the floor in case she woke up for the 1st 4 wks do I could get rest. And she was waking up every 2 hrs the 1st 4 wks. So yes, he helped alot and another baby later still does.

Shahista - posted on 03/09/2014

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Hi there im mummy to baby no # just a month old, my huband helps me with the baby burping or calming him down. Since his soo excited we have been blessed with this second born after 10 yrs... Our first born is 10 n is a boy too. Glad to have 3 men in my life blessed :))

Eliz - posted on 01/02/2014

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I am a working mom. I support our family 100%. Same thing. But I sometimes have to travel away from my baby for 3-4 days feeling terrible. I am a professional woman working in a mans world full of double standards making it harder. I have the corporate stress to endure to keep our mortgage, food, insurance, etc. as soon as i walk in the door I am mommy, cook, housekeeper. My husband helps but i still have to direct. I have to plan everything, do all gifts, shopping etc. the house and everything still reflects on me. My only time with my daughter is evenings and weekends so I choose to spend time with her and rarely go out. I would give anything to have someone take the stress off my shoulders and support me and my daughter. Don't underestimate the stress of the breadwinner. The world is not the same and keeping jobs is a job itself psychologically everyone. Appreciate your husband if he supports you. I would. I am up at night with the cries, vomiting etc. because they want mom first. I still have to be ready for work in the morning. Give your husbands a break.

Jennifer - posted on 01/01/2014

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I work longer hours than my husband and all he does is play x-box and drinks most nights.

Tracey - posted on 01/01/2014

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My husband has never got up in the night to help with my daughter. He doesn't feed her or change her diapers. He says that I'm the mother so its expected that I tend to all the babies needs. He does show the baby a lot of attention, plays with her and makes her laugh etc... he has no problem bonding with her. But even when he's home and not working he will not get up to help in the night, nor in the mornings...not even if I've had no sleep. I don't say anything....just tend to my baby girl myself...its easier than having an argument with him I suppose. But it makes me resent him SO MUCH.

Erica - posted on 12/29/2013

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This massage is to Craig It sounds like you in your wife don't get to spend enough time with egather .I think When is Time To Clean You Both Should Break Things Down When I Cook My Husband Would Wash the Dishes. We Help egather With the Laundry .we take turns with the baby's diapers when ever we can an we to shifts at night with the baby I would do 4 hours in he would do the next four hours. But I think you in your wife should also make time for egather when ever your free time is get a baby sitter in go do something you both enjoy . Make Saturday your date night if you will in Life's to short to look at the small picture look at the big picture. In treat your wife to a day a the hair salon when you can afford it .im sure you won't regret it . I hope I could help good luck

Erica - posted on 12/24/2013

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My name is Erica in I think it's also your husband job to help with the baby because the baby is his responsibility also. You are taking care of the baby 24/7 in he needs to see that it can be stressful when you don't have any surport.my husband and I took turns taking care of all of our kids in we have 3 . We would split our shifts. In half. My babygirl got up every four hours in my husband took his shift in I took mine it made things much easier for both of us. When I changed my babygirl my husband would say I got the next one. We. Help egather with every thing we wash laundry together I fold the close sometimes in we bothe put them away everything is equal .he will cook I wash the dishes .be always help out with one another in it keeps a bond between us in our relationship is stronger like that .but i think you should have him help you with the baby that is not right for him to just make you do everything you didn't make the baby by yourself. Good luck I hope he changes in helps out more in congrats on your baby it gets better don't fret

Kim - posted on 10/29/2013

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My son has been waking up once a night (mid night) from soiled diaper and he would cry throughout the whole process of me changing him (basically get him all naked and dress him in the dark). When he cried hard like that I expect my husband to come in and help... but he never did. He heard him, our bedroom is 10 steps away the baby's room. But he CHOOSE not to help. He loves the child, but whenever I asked him to look after him or change him, he will always find something to complain about, and he will say bad words like, shit! damn it! or slam things around. Something has to happen or somehow didn't work right when he's working with the baby. The negativity drains me. And so often I would rather do it myself. I won't say men are selfish. Because I have known a lot of daddy friends that help the wives out. Sometimes it's not so much whether they do right or how much help they give, but their presence and availability. When he shows up, it shows that he cares and is available for us. I can do it on my own, but knowing that he cares and is willing to help means a lot. This is why I never doubt why some woman would dumb their husbands. It truly takes a load off your shoulder! On a side note, my husband and I runs a little children learning center and I am working alongside with him since we started. He doesn't speak the language of the country we currently reside in, so I have to deal with a lot of things at work. I work from home and at the center. As the matter of fact I have been planning a lot of 'separation' in my head (especially during those helpless night!) (PS: and don't ever think that a Christian husband will make any difference. If a person is lazy and selfish, he is still lazy and selfish even if he is a Christian.)

Katherine - posted on 10/05/2012

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My Husbands a heavy sleeper, So I'm usually up at night, which I don't mind too much because He's a Early morning riser! So he does the morning stuffs and I get to sleep in, Been like that since our girl was a baby and I'm sure it will be the same with our second on the way.

User - posted on 10/02/2012

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well I breastfed when our son wokeup at night. I stay at home and he works fulltime. At first I said I will get up because Ifelt guilty for not working and I knew he needed some sleep for thenext day at work. But that got old very quickly, I was a zombie for the first twomonths including falling asleep while feedinghim, it was awful. You cannot do it on your own. I know he cant breastfeed when I fed him I also changed his diaper and we also had a contraption to suppliment formula when I didnt make enough. We worked it out that I fedhim and he gotup to change the diaper and clean our supplies. It was hard but we worked together. I still at that timehad a hard time thinking he wasnt doing anything. I realized that men/fathers are never going to do asmuch as the mother, i just cant see that they arnt as emotionally connected at first. Expecially being a stay homemom there are alot of responsibilities and to stay with your child everyday as much as you love it, you need breaks too, even if its 30 min. a day to do whatever you wanna do by yourself it helps. Im not saying let him continuethis but make sure your expectation of him isnt too high, mine was. I dont think men fully understand for a while whatmoms really go through. It is selfish, but just talk it out. communicate let him know how you feel, maybe even let him have a day with doing everything you do, it might be an eye opener.

Mary - posted on 09/30/2012

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My husband works mon-Friday night shifts, he doesn't really get to be here for that.. But on the weekends he does wake up to feed our 5month old with out waking me up. When she was born he took a week off work and got to see how hard and how much work it is to raise 2 girls. I felt so great that he looked at me and admired me for those days. Sometimes I understand he needs his alone time (something I don't get much of).. But know that it's been 5 months since she was born he likes to play video games, sleep, watch tv, be on his phone and play basket ball with his friends.. So I think I know how u feel!! Moms are different in that way, we feel like "what!!! He would rather spend his time doing that than spending time with us??"



I think it's awful that he would say that, he just doesn't understand how beautiful it is to watch every single little detail your kids do..

Geraldine - posted on 10/01/2011

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i usally do most of the work but with both of our boys if i was exausted he would get up and take care of the kids without me asking just so i could get a little sleep

Bernadette - posted on 10/01/2011

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HELP???? And that's all I have to say on that one......

Cassandra - posted on 09/28/2011

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Its funny because my husband helped when I was on maternity leave. But when I went back to work he stopped. But my son was colic and when I heard just a whimper I was up! Motherly instinct to take care of her baby. But he helps out a little during the day. Love my family!

Lauren - posted on 09/26/2011

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My husband works (330pm-12am) and I stay at home. He refuses to get up at night with our son but he gets up in the morning and takes care of him while I sleep. Really itg depends on what kind of situation your in and how your schedule is. Were breastfeeding so my hubby can't feed him at night anyway

Audra - posted on 09/26/2011

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Wow. It seems the issue isn't so much that you and your husband are struggling to schedule sleep, but that your husband doesn't recognize that being a Mom IS work. What does your husband do the other 4 days of the week (just curious)? What is his response when you ask him to wake up with your son?

Taletha - posted on 09/25/2011

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My husband still helps at night and the baby is 15 months plus the fact that when I finally do get to sleep I'm in a coma like state lol

Brianna - posted on 09/20/2011

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my hubby has only got up once with our daughter in the middle of the night ever. and it was her first night home from the hospital

Angie - posted on 09/17/2011

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OMG Selfish much?! Mine works full time and still helps at night when I ask. And he takes her in the mornings that he doesn't work so I can sleep in. If he doesn't think it's work leave the baby with him and take a girls day so he can see how exhausting it is. Then when you get home go see now try getting up at night too! I am sorry you don't get any help, good luck hun!

Alysha - posted on 09/17/2011

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my husband works 6 days a week bout 12-13 hrs a day.he dont help me..even when his day is off n our son wakes..i bitch n whine cause i need help first time mom here. he not a first time dad..i either jus deal with it or say something.

Jennifer - posted on 09/16/2011

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My husband does baby duty for both of our kids, he closes the bedroom door to allow me to sleep and attempts to take care of both even if they wake up at the same time. I tell him that I have no problem helping but since the door is closed and the window a/c unit is on, it become very difficult for me to hear anything outside the bedroom. He is really great at taking care of our kids. Helping around the house is another story and trying to convince him that being a stay-at-home mom is a job. (I cook, clean, do laundry, take care of setting the clothes out, take care of bills, and much more). Being a stay-at-home mom is a job and it isn't always easy. If your husband thinks it is so easy, maybe he should try walking in your shoes for a little bit, even a weekend. Can you go somewhere? Leave him with the kid. Let him get a taste of what raising a kid really entails. It takes two to tango and make the conscious decision about wanting, having, and raising a kid. Try to come up with a way that makes it sound as if him watching the kid will benefit him in some way, shape or form. You need your rest and a break too. Good luck and I hope that you can find a way to get a break.

Carol - posted on 05/30/2011

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my partner works days and nights, all 12 hour shifts, from 7 to 7. he works 4 nights, off 3 then works 3 days, then off 1 day, and work 3 nights, then offf for the weekend, then work 4 days then gets a fulll week off. when he was working his nights or days, i didnt mind feeding her but when he did get so much time off, we would take turns in getting up. one would tlothe night then one would get up in the morning. he was very good that he would also do 1 night and morning together so i would get a full sleep and a lie in, then i would do the same for him. its about sharing the load, and doingh a little bit for eachother too so we are not ratty and tired all the time. if you are tired and he is not doing his share when he can, it will start to show in the relationship

Carol - posted on 05/30/2011

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my partner works days and nights, all 12 hour shifts, from 7 to 7. he works 4 nights, off 3 then works 3 days, then off 1 day, and work 3 nights, then offf for the weekend, then work 4 days then gets a fulll week off. when he was working his nights or days, i didnt mind feeding her but when he did get so much time off, we would take turns in getting up. one would tlothe night then one would get up in the morning. he was very good that he would also do 1 night and morning together so i would get a full sleep and a lie in, then i would do the same for him. its about sharing the load, and doingh a little bit for eachother too so we are not ratty and tired all the time. if you are tired and he is not doing his share when he can, it will start to show in the relationship

Mary - posted on 11/17/2009

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my husband 9 and half hour days and 14 and a half hour night shifts, when he comes home he helps me with what ever jobs that still needs doin, he will get up through the night and feed her or if any of the other children are poorly just because im at home it does not mean we do any less we just dont get paid for it we do it because we love them,if i get tired or poorly he will take her out or look after her anytime.

Stephanie - posted on 11/17/2009

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HA OMG SOUNDS JUST LIKE HOW MY MAN GETS SOMETIMES! you just gotto be blunt wit him and be like it takes to make the baby even though he works on his days off HE HAS NO REASON NOT TO HELP YOU We need a break everynow in then as well !!!

Stacey - posted on 11/16/2009

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ur not on ur own love my partner will not do jack her complains that he does not sleep as it is and he has to go to wrk all he does is pass her to me when she wants a feed or bum change is pissis me off its his kid is well and i do all the wrk with her i love her to bits mind but it would be nice to have a lil help

Sarah - posted on 11/16/2009

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my hubby does not help me at night since the beginning either it is just because he works on shifts so he really need his rest, but on his day offs he helps me with everything. and our daughter is really tangled to me, she can play with him for a while and then if she cannot see me she will start screaming hehehehe and my hubby really hates that i think he is jealous (nice feeling though) that our daughter prefer to be with me than with him. just talk 2 ur hubby and hopefully he will understand. Goodluck!

Britni - posted on 11/15/2009

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My husband is in the navy works everyday but maybe one day, he gets up makes the bottle while I change her, I burp her put her back to sleep, he does it everytime she wakes up sometimes he will make the bottle while I am changing her,and he will come back and feed her and put her to sleep.. it really depends but he helps with everything, I find myself changing more diapers but I think I realize it faster then him, but if i asked him to he would in a heart beat he loves spending time with her, she is months old HOWEVER i do not think he feels comfy yet being by himself wiht her for a long period of time.. I think he thinks he may do something wrong even though he knows how to do everything lol but anyways

Jennifer - posted on 11/14/2009

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My bf would get up all the time the first month so I could sleep in but I still got up with him. Now she is 3 months and sleeps all night long and up by 7 am.

Mari - posted on 11/14/2009

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LOL! My hubby will but I def have to ask him or let me know I need the help. I do understand he works but I am also working and having to be up with the baby during the day make sure the other 3 kids get off to school, laundry, cooking, chores...our job never ends even when the lights go out we are still working when we have a newborn. I always play the if the shoe were on the other foot. Most def though when he gets home from work and if you are tired I would ask him to watch the baby why you take a nap..some men just dont get it but if you ask they are happy to help...sometimes...as long as the baby isnt crying, needs to be fed, changed...etc...LOL...kidding:) Could you imagine if both were working what would be his excuse then...tell me who the weaker sex is again...uhuhhh...thank you!

Alissa - posted on 11/13/2009

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My daughter is 8 months old, hes never stayed up during the night to help me when we are having a bad night with her. He uses the excuse well i work and bring in money. Being a mom is really hard, even when he was laid off and not working he still didn't help but experienced how hard it was. Hes like i never get a break from her and i say yes u do from when u go to work till u get back... men are frustrating that way.

Ebonie - posted on 11/13/2009

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Hey christi, my partner is exactly the same, would rather go to the movies or watch the rugby rather the watch our daughter. im a stay at home mom as well and ive found if im tired that i sleep during the day when my child is sleeping.

Males tend to forget that having a child is a 24 hour job. there job may only be say 13 hours but ours is alot harder.

cheer up :)

Jana - posted on 11/13/2009

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OMG would i kick my husbands ass if he didnt help :) he does get up at night and on the weekends he gets to sleep in saturdays and i get to sleep in sundays.We have 3 kids and i know it gets to be a bit much for him once in a while but he never really complains.You should leave your husband with you son for a half day and see how he manages and if he stil thinks being a stay at home mom isnt a job.Its selfish,rude and disrespectful to you!

Heather - posted on 11/13/2009

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Quoting christi:

did anyone's husband help with your baby in the night?

my husband goes to work (he works 3 13hour days per week) and he comes home and complains that i'm not working (i'm a stay at home mom) and he works so hard and he needs his sleep. that being a stay at home mom is not a job--i'm not working because i'm not bringing in a paycheck! every now and then i ask him to help our son because he wakes up screaming (right now our son is sick). so, i am just curious if any husband or baby's daddy helps you out or is selfish and just wants to sleep and watch tv or movies all day.


My boyfriend is a HUGE help!! I Had a c section so the first week and a half he was doing everything becuz i was in so much pain and not on any pain meds. I wondered if the help  would continue once I healed...and sure enough!! He helps alot. Our son wakes up twice a night. I get up one time, and he gets up one time. And whenever I need help with anything he is right there. He works full time while I stay home to care for our son!! Your husband needs to realize that you need to relax too and it should be equal!!!

Helen - posted on 11/13/2009

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Quoting Andrea:

My husband works 60+ hrs a week, right now they are in harvest so he is putting in sometimes over 100 hrs a week and he will take the feeding in the morning (3am) feeding. He gets up an extra hr early most of the time just so he can have that time with our daughter. There are times that I let him sleep, but I always ask him if he wants to feed her or if he wants me to. If your husband is only working 3 days a week and not helping out with feedings or anything else that is pretty sad. You didn't create your son all by yourself. Being a stay at home mom IS a full time job. You could stop making his dinners, doing his laundry, cleaning the house, shopping, paying the bills, etc etc etc and then he might open his eyes a bit. Enjoy your son, stay positive and good luck.


Yeah you could go on strike where he is concerned. Let him do his own washing and make his own dinner. Good Luck though.

Kayla - posted on 11/13/2009

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being a stay at home mom is a job..they dont realize how much work it is! but my fiance does help with our little boy. mostly he sleeps all through the night but he just got a tooth so he has got up once a night for the past month,sometimes i get lucky and he dont get up. but while my fiance was workin i didnt wake him up at ngiht because he had to get up and go to work and i was able to sleep while our child napd during the day. but my fiance lost his job for about 3months and he would help get up with him at ngiht since he didnt have to work the next morning.. but he cant hear him at ngiht when he cries and i always do so i usually would get up with him and not worry bout waking him up,except times i was just to tired to get up..haha but hes a great daddy. i am blessed to have someone so great..

Shonette - posted on 11/13/2009

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i believe it selfush a lil bit because yes he's both of yall.. im a stay at home mom too.. wen our daughter first came home her father use to get up.. he had the night shift lol.. but now he act like he does not hear her so i just leave him n do it cuz even tho im tierd i'll b more tired tryna wake him up to go bac to sleep.. so i just save my self an aurgement i guess lol

MELISSA - posted on 11/13/2009

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mine did. He would get up and warm the bottle for the evening feedings, or he would just get up and hold the baby until the baby went back to sleep, becasue our son would want to get up at 1 in the morning and not go back to sleep until 4. My son only wanted to look at the christmas tree lights. See he was born 10 days before christmas and we stayed at a aunts house for the first week and she had already gotten her tree up.

Keshisha - posted on 11/13/2009

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my bf who isnt my kids father always wakes up to my youngest in the nite! and he helps out durring the day wen he aint at work! he works long days monday through friday and sumtyms weekends! and he doesnt live with me and always finds time t help me out!

i think that if have a child with some 1 they shud help with all the chorse no matter if they work or not being a stay at home mum i think is mre work than goin to work! and the days wen he dont have work th next day he cn wake in the nite with his baby!

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