Do you let your baby sleep with you?

Ashley - posted on 08/09/2010 ( 214 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend leaves kinda early for work, and when he does, he wakes my daughter up(almost 3 moths old) and when he leaves I bring her in bed with me and snuggle with her and go back to bed. Is this ok? My boyfriend dosent like how I do it, he's worried that Im going to roll over on her or something. I know I wont because every little move or sound she makes I wake up. He's also worried that she's going to get into the habit of wanting to sleep in our bed. But i don't think I should worry if I only do it in the morning, should I?

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Hanna - posted on 08/18/2010

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Quite honestly, i think it would be better if your boyfriend doesn't wake up your child so early in the morning. That in itself could become a habit-forming thing, until one day you struggle to get her to sleep past that time. We put our daughters to sleep in their own bed, right next to ours, and if our second, now 5 weeks old, wakes up to feed, and it's after 4.30am or so, I just keep her in bed. My husband gets up early too. He doesn't wake them up, but says goodbye to them, and they seem to realize it, as my 2y old won't ask where he is if he has. I move our pillows right out the way, and the baby all the way up to the top of the bed, with her own blankies, so the duvet, if up to my chin, only reaches her waist.

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2010

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I only allow my 8 month old daughter to sleep with me when she is sick. Otherwise she sleeps in her cot.

Krissandra - posted on 08/17/2010

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My son is now three-and-a-half months old, and we've been cosleeping since he was just a few weeks old. I feel safer with him curled up in bed with me than anywhere else. I trust mommy's intuition, and I KNOW that I won't roll over on top of him. I don't budge an inch as long as he's in bed with me, and he doesn't move, either. If he DOES move even a little, I wake up. I breastfeed, too, and it is just soooo much easier! He now dozes in and out of sleep for about 12 hours a night. LoL!

Netsi - posted on 08/17/2010

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I let my little one sleep with me when I haven't seen her much bc of work...but she really sleeps better in her own crib..she like to stretch out.

my only worry would be if my child couldn't go to sleep on her own in her bed. but i am spoiled...all you do is lay her down, give her the pacifier, turn the mobile on and she talks herself to sleep!

in the end...do what your mommy instincts say are best!

Shauna - posted on 08/17/2010

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I do the same, I bring my son into bed with me when my hubby goes to work! It gets him to sleep for another hour or two and I enjoy the snuggling. I've done this since he was a new born and he is now 10 months old...he has no problem sleeping the whole night in his crib on his own! I dont see a problem with it!

Kate - posted on 08/17/2010

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my daughter is 18 months old and has never slept in a crib. I went through a divorce when I was 6 months pregnant so it has been just the 2 of us from the start. I love sleeping with her and she loves the snuggles. I think it is great

Renee - posted on 08/17/2010

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I am the same way you are! I am on maternity leave right now, but on my days off it will be the same thing! My two month old will usually wake up anywhere from 6am to 8am and it is so bright in her room that she can't get back to sleep. I put her in her own crib to start out the night and she will sleep until that time. When she does wake up I feed her and then I take her to bed with me. I am not concerned about rolling over her at all, and I am not concerned about pillows and blankets either! We have a king sized bed and my husband is clear over on the other side of the bed. I lay on my side and put my arm that is on the under-side out towards my husband with my back towards the edge. I put my daughter between me and my husband with my daughter a little closer to me. The pillows are above my arm and my daughter is below my arm in the bed. The pillows can't fall on her, my husband will hit my hand first if he rolls over waking me up, the blankets are only at my waist, and I can't roll over without moving my arm out of the way or if I roll the other way I will fall off the bed, so pretty much, it is virtually impossible for anything to happen. I am from the USA and I know tons of people that have their babies sleeping with them! I feel as long as my daughter falls asleep in her crib to start out the night, then she will know that is where night night is and we will not have any problems.

[deleted account]

My husband is the one that brings our son into bed for an early morning snuggle! We are careful never to do it at night though. Sammy knows he's only allowed in bed in the mornings and we all like it so what's the harm? As for rolling over, we put a bolster between him and Daddy (a deep sleeper!) but I wake up easily so he snuggles next to me. I wouldn't worry about it!

Kerry - posted on 08/17/2010

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All my children slept with me especially when very small,I never rolled on them,its part the bonding. My youngest at 2yrs 6months still does have a snooze and sometimes feed in the morning especially when she is sick,theres nothing wrong with it,some men get alittle jealous of it but its a mothers perogative and intuision like as you said you are very aware of every movement your child makes,good for you,keep it up ok.

Emili - posted on 08/17/2010

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I co-bedded with both my sons, and loved it. I plan on doing it again with any subsequent children.

For me personally, I never felt/ feel afraid of rolling on top of them (do you worry throughout the night that you'll roll out of bed, or roll over onto your spouse? I believe it's called spatial awareness). That being said, both people in the bed need to be down with the co-bedding thing. Both my husband and I love the close proximity of the children. I end up getting more sleep. Baby's needs can be addressed immediately. He is secure, and NOT being coddled, contrary to popular Western belief. My older son (almost 3) now sleeps in his own room, in his own bed - and has since he was 19 months.

As far as mortality is concerned, many of the co-bedding death stories I've read include: mother who was drunk and passed out, mother/ father/ caregiver sleeping with child sporadically (not used to the co-bedding), falling asleep on the couch with child, too many blankets/ pillows. Obviously, there are right and wrong ways to co-bed. If you're going to do it, just use your judgment.

And it's a personal decision, is really what it comes down to. People have done this for thousands of years, for an array of reasons. Figure out what works best for you and your babe.

Kimberley - posted on 08/17/2010

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i done the same when my girl was that age as she wasnt movin about she went straight to sleep next to me, i have stopped doing it now as she is crawling and she is quite happy to play in her cot whilst i have quick nap

Elizabeth - posted on 08/17/2010

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well there is still a risk of rolling over on her....but with my son when he wakes in the early mornings....i hold him on my chest until he falls back into a deep sleep while i rest....but when he is with his grandma he sleeps on her bed but propped up on a pillow in a reclined position....and as far as her getting in the habit of sleeping in your bed...for now you are fine but as she gets older you might want to have her sleep in her own bed....my sister let my nephew sleep in her bed and now he doesnt want to sleep in his bed and he is 3. but your fine for at least 6-9mos before you should worry about that

Kelsey - posted on 08/17/2010

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I've co-slept with my Daughter from the get go. 1 year later and I still have my daughter. I think people who completely hate on co-sleeping don't have ALL the real facts about it, they are basing their opinions on what they read and what they are told to do, sheep. I've fought with my DR and a few public health nurses over co-sleeping and that fact is: a) I'm not overweight b) I dont drink or take drugs/meds that would make me hazardous to my baby c) I'm right there to make sure there is nothing that could harm her. I've also taken the steps to unsure that her father can't roll on to her but getting a double bed just for my daughter and I to share, which is in her room so when she is able to sleep in her bed alone it will be a smoother transition for her.

I truly believe that my daughter is safer with me beside her that any where else. PLUS I get more sleep then any non-cosleeping mother I know! That is a fact.

Melanie - posted on 08/17/2010

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I LOVE co sleeping. Much happier babies. But you MUST read up and follow the guidelines. EVERY death i have heard of has invovled factors that are high risk when co cleeping, smoking, unsafe bed, drugs, alcahol, toddler in the bed, etc. My second was in the bed til 3 months with me using a safety wedge. Then he transferred to his cot beside our bed at the same height in an attached sleeping bag.

Karina - posted on 08/17/2010

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I had a caesarean section, and my husband was on meds at the time which made it nearly impossible for him to wake up, and I was very sore from the surgery and had a hard time getting up out of bed several times a night during the early weeks, so when we brought our son home, I began having him sleep in our bed with us. I slept lightly and would awaken easily if the baby so much as stirred, so that I could check up on him and see if he needed anything. It made night-time nursing so much easier while recovering from the c-section. After I felt significantly better, we tried to put the baby in his crib in his room, but he would cry and scream and we got no sleep, so we brought him back into our bed. He slept with us until he was 6 months old, then around the time he was 6 months, we began the transition of putting him in his crib in his own room. We would do that by having him spend half the night in our bed, and the second half of the night in his own room. Now, he sleeps in his own crib in his room without any problems. I do bring him back to our bed during night-time feedings to nurse him, as I don't have a nursing chair, but after night-time feedings, I always bring him back to his own crib and he sleeps just fine.

Melinda - posted on 08/17/2010

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Please do not start it... some get soo used to it and it is hard to break.... We just got my almost 5 year old out of our bed!!

Melissa - posted on 08/17/2010

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You need to cherish this time when they are small, warm, and want to spend all their time with you. I swore I wouldn't cosleep but ended up starting to after going back to works because I wasn't getting any sleep. It was the best decision I've ever made. My son is almost one now and we've been cosleeping since he was 4 months old. There is nothing like waking up to you smiling, snuggly baby. Fortunately my husband supports it. Enjoy this wonderful time while it lasts because it is so fleeting!

Lacey - posted on 08/17/2010

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I am a new mom of a 3 1/2 month old little boy named Owen. He has his own room and own crib. He sleeps well in his crib until about 3:25am(no joke its just about always that time) and thats when I bring Owen in to our room and let him sleep a few more hours with his father and I. He generally gets up in the morning at about 6:30 or sometimes 7am, and Monday through Friday I have to be up by 6 to get ready for work. So for us having him come in at that time is great for him as well as us becuase that give us all time to snuggle together. He sleeps in his crib for naps during the day and starts the night off in his crib. I think that being a working set of parents, we are giving Owen more time with us by doing this in the morning. I was always one to say NO to co sleeping because I know people who have never put their children in the crib that they have and are still sleeping with them 4 and 5 years later. Thats not what we are about. If when My son is 5 years old and wakes early in the morning and wants to come into mom and dads room and snuggle thats fine. There is NOTHING wrong with what you are doing with your daughter. Its healthy if it is regulated and you know what is best. After all she is your daughter.

Best of luck

Joy - posted on 08/17/2010

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My little boy is almost 16 months and has been sleeping with me since day 1. Sometimes he starts out in his crib, but then he wakes up and comes to bed w/ me and hubby. We all get a lot more sleep that way. I figure when he is old enough to understand, and I have caught up on some much needed zzz's, we will work on getting him to stay in his own bed. But for now, I love sleeping next to my little man!

Lisa - posted on 08/17/2010

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My little girl is almost 3 and falls asleep in our bed and comes in with us in the morning aswell. She also used to co-sleep with us from 3 months until a year. Im expecting my second child soon so should probably get her more used to staying in her own bed but I still feel she's little and like her in the bed with me. My husband doesn't really mind it either which is good.

Dawn - posted on 08/17/2010

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If you are going to sleep with your child use a co-sleeper for the safety sake. They have one that fits in your bed. Otherwise, it's fine. Humans are the only animals that separate themselves from their babies and it makes absolutely no sense why. Bad habits, it's nature.

Bevin - posted on 08/17/2010

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i take my 4 and half month old daughter to bed with me during the day its the only way she will have a nap

Kari - posted on 08/17/2010

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Co-sleeping is actually very beneficial and natural. Other cultures co-sleep. It's the way parents have taken care of their children for years. It's only in our parent-centered society that it is looked down upon.

Those who say that co-sleeping is dangerous do not have all the facts. Co-sleeping could be dangerous if you don't learn to co-sleep safely, or if you go to sleep under the influence of a substance; but if you are well informed and practice safe sleeping, there are many benefits to it.

I personally felt that I didn't sleep well with our baby in our bed, so we bought a co-sleeper that you put up against that bed. That way our son was close and got the benefits of co-sleeping but I didn't have to make any adjustments to our bed for safety purposes. I could breastfeed without getting out of bed, I could reach over and sooth him if he startled - all without either one of us needing to completely wake up. It was a great situation - we both got our sleep and it was completely safe.

Here are some links to check out: http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_roo...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handou...

Amber Renee - posted on 08/17/2010

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Yep -- we've done it with our daughter since after the first few days of getting NO SLEEP. She is now almost 3 months old and doing great. I heard preemies do best with kangaroo care as well -- being close to her helps her thrive.

Sharonda - posted on 08/17/2010

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Yes, our son is 11 months. He has been sleeping with us on and off since we came home from the hospital. We love it and he feels so close to us.

Maren - posted on 08/17/2010

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Everyone is very uptight when it comes to co-sleeping or not co-sleeping. Ultimately, it's up to you. I was adamantly against it before my daughter was born. My nephew, possibly, died that way at two weeks old. The thing to remember though is that most of the time, when a co-sleeping baby dies, it could be from SIDS, or, if a parent caused it, it was most likely due to the fact that that parent was on something that changed their sleeping patterns. AT the time my sister was still drinking and fell asleep with her son. I believe that's what happened to him. If you are on no medications that cause you to sleep deeply, haven't been drinking, and are on no recreational drugs, then it should be just fine.

For the first 2 months my daughter was a crib sleeper but I was SO EXHAUSTED that I started sleeping with her and got so much sleep. If she woke, I could breastfeed and go right back to sleep before she was even done eating. In my case, bonding or no bonding, it was all about getting sleep so I could function during the day. My daughter never napped well so nighttime was my only time to actually get sleep.

To allay my husband's fears we got a co sleeper. It was perfect.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what anyone on this message board says. Don't let any of us talk you into or out of it. What matters is what works for you, your baby, and your boyfriend.

Good luck.

Tricia - posted on 08/17/2010

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I wouldn't worry. I do that with my daughter (12mo) on occasion,,, and when we go camping, she sleeps in bed with me all night to lessen the chance of her getting woken up. When we get back home, she's happy to be back in her own crib. The bonding time you get is unbelievable, isn't it? There's nothing better than snuggling up close to your little one and catching some zzzz's. They don't stay small long, and there will come a day when they won't want to snuggle with mom,,, so enjoy it while you can.

Ashleigh - posted on 08/16/2010

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I let my daughter Kayleigh sleep with me up until she was 6 months old, all night long. Not only does it make it easier to get up for those 2 and 4 oclock feedings, it also eases your worries about things like SIDS. Believe me, I all but FORCED my husband to let our baby sleep with us, and it ended up being the thing that made our relationship. I'm not saying force your man, but you get the idea. And we plan on having all our future kids sleep with us for those 6 months too. I won't deny it was a little bit of a fight to get her to sleep in her own room, but not as bad a one as it would've been had she been a yr when we stopped it.

Tanya - posted on 08/16/2010

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I always used to sleep with my son when he was little. Now he is too fidgety and fights when I try to hold him while I sleep (since he will roll if I don't hold him), so I have to put him back in his crib if I want to sleep longer. Then, of course, he wakes up and I can't stay in bed anymore. I say enjoy it while you can. Moms are hyper-aware with their babies. And your daughter is too young to get "spoiled" by anything. She won't get used to it until she's much bigger (think 8 or 9 months old).

[deleted account]

I've been sleeping with my son in our bed since he's been born. I know it's bad, but that was the only way he would sleep when he was first born. However, now he will not sleep anywhere at night unless he's cuddled up sleeping with me. That's the only downside. I've never rolled over on him or gotten even close.

Melissa - posted on 08/16/2010

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I love cuddling with my son and he is almost a year! There is nothing better than the full family bed...if you are comfortable, go for it!

Crystal - posted on 08/16/2010

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Hi there,

My daughter is 18 months old and she sleeps in bed with me sometimes because her dad leaves at 330am for work and she gets woken up. We both need sleep cause she is also in daycare. However, ive never had an issue with her sleeping in her own bed. She will sleep in her own room fine all night or she will sleep with me all night. She hasnt been affected by the switching back and forth. She will even sleep in her playpen in our room. I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with.
Good Luck

Terra - posted on 08/16/2010

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I would like to post a few links for those that say that co-sleeping increases the risks of SIDS because that statement is in fact wrong. There are risks with co-sleeping just as there are risk with crib sleeping but studies show an increase in SIDS is not one of them. In fact, recent studies have show that co-sleeping may actually DECREASE the risk of SIDS...

http://thebabybond.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFa...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071000...

http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenn...

Here are some links of the benefits of co-sleeping...

http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_roo...

http://www.googobits.com/articles/647-th...

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/01/09...

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/tami_b...

Jessica - posted on 08/16/2010

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My lil one has slept in bed with me since day one.I cant get her to sleep in her crib.also she needs me to help her fall asleep.she cant self soothe.

Alana - posted on 08/16/2010

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I'm curious why you believe co-sleeping is dangerous? I think it can potentially be a safety issue if your on certain medications, drinking, or taking drugs before bed. Which you shouldn't be doing in the first place with children. Yes, it can be frustrating later when your child forms a habit of sleeping with you, but thats why you can work on it when the time is right for you and your child.

Lisa - posted on 08/16/2010

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Hi hi.
Im so worried!! I refuse to put my son into bed with me. (hes only 7 months old!!) Its so dangerous. Even tho u say you wake up with every noise she makes, there could be that one time when you are so tired that you fall into a deep sleep. Im not trying to be rude either hunni.. Its just that i have lost a baby to sids (not from being in the bed with me), and it hurts so much to lose the one thing thats so precious to you. I dont want any parent to go through what i went through because the pain never heals. Never goes away. If you need, bring a portacot or bassinette into ur room to put her in when she wakes up :) Sorry but i had to comment on this when i saw it :) Hope everything works out well for you hunni! And dont forget to ask for help if you need it :)

Heather - posted on 08/15/2010

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I do. Mostly only in the mornings now, cause it's convenient for me to get more sleep (though I don't really any more cause my daughter is 6 months and gets up at like 6 and wants to play). You don't have to worry about rolling onto her, as of what you said, cause you have that bond and you just know she's there in the back of your mind even if you fast asleep (though I've bumped my daughter a few times while sleeping, not hard, just cause my bed is so small). Also, I've heard that SIDs is less likely in co-sleeping babies cause they can hear your heart beat and feeling your breathing, so they are less likely to shallow their breathing and keep it with yours.

Autumn - posted on 08/15/2010

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with my 1st child I ignored everybody when they told me not to put him n the bed with me, even my mom thought it was a bad idea but i couldnt stand keeping him in the bed alone all night. we had a 300$ crib that was never touched.lol The only bad part about him sleeping in the bed with me was geting him out when he was to old to steel sleep with mommy.With my 2nd I cant becuase her father has almost rolled on her while iv had her in the bed in the day time so im sure she wont be able to sleep with her in the bed at night. But I still get to go to bed with her since her father goes to work until 4am so when gets home he just puts her back in her bed. The only thing i would worrie about is those crappy days when ur just extra sleepy and you know your really gonna be knoked out,O and daddy if hes a heavy sleeper

Jasmin - posted on 08/15/2010

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both my 7 yr old and my 3 month old sleep with me while my husband is deployed, i am trying to get them use to sleeping in their own beds now, i think its harder on me then it is on them. I hate sleeping alone :( lol

Danielle - posted on 08/15/2010

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my daughter sleep half the night in her cot then the rest in my bed i put pillows next to her plus a chair beside them i alway have my arm around her to be safe n no problems so far sometimes she even sleeps between me n my partner n we r very aware of her n dont roll over. its not a bad thing if u do it safley

Roxanne - posted on 08/15/2010

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yes, but I am very careful. I make sure no pillows are around her or can fall in her face. I also put her in the middle of the bed to make sure she doesn't fall off. She is 3 months now, and I feel that it's easier and faster for me to feed her and check on her in the middle of the night.

Jaime - posted on 08/15/2010

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I did and do it. LO is 10 months old now (in a few days) and I've been doing it since she was 3 months. That was also how I fed her at night, in bed on my side. It made night time feedings less tiring.

Megan - posted on 08/15/2010

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i dont see a problem with it because your sleep pattern seems to change when you have a little one, ive noticed that every little moment he makes, wakes me. ive never been able to sleep like i used to, my ears are always alert now, i was also scared of letting him sleep in his crib incase he stopped breathing or something. but now i get him to sleep before i put him in his crib because otherwise he would scream, and when he wakes in the night for his feed i get him in our bed and by the time he has finished his bottle im asleep aswell.
he is now 10 weeks old and people are always sayin that he will never slep in his own bed when he is older, but all you have to do is get him into a routine again.

Shelby - posted on 08/15/2010

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I did the same thing with my daughter, I still do and she is 7 1/2 months old. Its never affected her. She loves sleeping in her crib and she also likes her cuddles with Mommy in the morning. Even my hubby will bring her into the bed on days that he does not work. We don't let her sleep in our bed for long. Only in the morning for a couple hours before we all decide to get up and eat breakfast.

Veronica - posted on 08/15/2010

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I sleep with my baby every night cant sleep any other way, my situation is a dif than yours though, I'm a single mom so I dont have ta deal with the objection. But like a few ppl said that if its only in the morning she shouldnt get spoiled by it.. but also to ensure i dont roll over on my baby or the covers cover her face i put her on the other side of the bed with her feet facing me, like shes slanted layn next to me cause Im the same as you I sleep light but I've heard stories of moms that said the same thing and still rolled over on their babies..

Sunel - posted on 08/15/2010

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i co-slept with my first child and have han no problems, hes 5 now, i have 8 month old twins, me and my hubby co-sleep and we get enough sleep at night, our bond with our babies are amasing

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