Do you think it's DISCUSTING & WRONG for a Gran to go in the bath with her Granson?

Jane - posted on 03/18/2011

tell his family to find another hobby other than judging you and your mom.

Stacey - posted on 03/18/2011

Thank-you for all your replies, this issue is now a thing of the past, our son is now 2yrs & 5months and bathes with either me or Daddy on the odd occasion, but no longer his Granny as he's a little too old for that now we feel but we now also have a 7wk old baby boy called Harley who bathes with myself or Daddy and if asked we don't mind him bathing with his Gran until the age of 1 :)

Jasmine - posted on 03/16/2011

i personally wouldnt like anyone having a bath with my 10month old son except me or his daddy and if they asked me i would tell them no its only a bond between my son and his parents to share ...that is just how i personally feel :)

Jodie - posted on 03/14/2011

i think do it until one of you feels umcomfortable about it, him or you or your mum. Its a great chance to bond and i have baths with my daughter and really love it.

Tegan - posted on 03/14/2011

once the child gets old enought to say no thats wen it stops

Sandyjane - posted on 07/18/2009

However, personally and at a certain age I would think it should stop...perhaps you could ask your mum to wear a bathing costume, then perhaps everyone would be far more comfortable with the situation....good luck.

Sandyjane - posted on 07/18/2009

I think this is a matter of perception. 1. This is what your son finds familiar, and therefore is comforting and a pleasant experience for him. 2. It is a matter of mechanics...just like it is easier for you to get into the bath with your babe, it is far easier for an aging body to do the same...it is less stressful on the back, and you want your Mum to have a long and healthy life so that she can be there for your son.

Ashley - posted on 07/17/2009

its one thing for a parent to bathe with their own flesh and blood, and even then once your child gets to the age of being more curious you should limit it.however grand parents should keep a line between being full on nude or not. put on a bathing suit and avoid the awkwardness.

Nichole - posted on 07/17/2009

My mother in law use to take baths with my first born and it bothered me, I asked her continuosly to stop, she finally did. Does your fiance have a problem with it? If not dont worry about it.

Linda - posted on 07/16/2009

i think its really what you feel is right i personally woldent let my mom take a bath with my daughter i think for me its personal and its something i think sould be done with a mother or father and a child id tell my mom to play in the pool or something with her not in the tub but then again hes still a baby to each their own good luck! : )

Lisa - posted on 07/16/2009

You are mom & dad - your child - your choice!!! If his parents are that whacked, then it's probably better they aren't around him! At 9 mo. - he's a baby, he doesn't understand. If he was 2, I might think twice about it. Good Luck!

Heather - posted on 07/16/2009

I dont see any reason why the grandparents would need to bath with your child. None of my parents or inlaws ever would. I think that should be something just between child and parents.

Diane - posted on 07/16/2009

I don't see anything wrong with it at all. I took baths with both my kids their first year. Grandma's don't live close by. But I do know of other moms who have let their babies bath with their mothers. No biggie as long as your comfortable with it.

Jessica - posted on 07/16/2009

I think a mother is differnt than a grandparent...I used to love getting in the shower or bath with my mother when I was little but I think grandparents is over stepping a little bit. Thats just my opinion I wouldnt allow my mom or mother in-law do that to each their own its your family and it shouldnt matter , hes your son and you nwill raise him how you want and if you 2 arent uncomfortable with it then they need to butt out! why do your in-laws even know?!?! shouldnt that be private anyway?! Good luck honey!!

Amber - posted on 07/16/2009

ok no offence but your inlaws need to get a grip. my mom and nephew will still occasionally bath together and he is 3! but he is getting to the point where the bath tub is to small for the both of them. and my mom baths my 7 month of daughter not me because it is her time with her because she works all day. there is nothing wrong with it at all and my nephew does not do anything innaproriate in the tub like pointing to different body parts he is just used to girls and boys being different and it doesn't fasinate him or bother him in the least.

Krista - posted on 07/16/2009

Quoting Stacey:

Just thought i would update you all... after confronting my mother inlaw for moaning about our parenting skills, and belittling me to my Fiance and everything else it has now resulted in my Fiance no longer wanting contact with his family. No matter what we do my mother inlaw will never be happy.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. 

With one of the above posts, I think that sleeping naked is a bit past the line considering that it is not neccesary. I don't think I would even do that with my son.

It's a tough line though I guess...

If we are too prudish around our children, this might lead to them being ashamed of their body. On the other hand, if we (or other family members etc.) are too open with them, they may not realise that there are boundaries.

Bathing is natural and normal and I'm sure that siblings often bathe with one another and this is not seen as wrong. We are the people that gave birth to our children.

I am so sorry though that your MIL can't see your reasoning. My MIL has grabbed my son off me out of the shower and seen my body etc.

Just a bit of a question. Was she there when you gave birth to your child, or during the birth of her children's children for that matter??

If she was, then she totally baffeles me.

Oh how nice it would be if in-law's were a bit more respectful. Would sure as hell make a lot of people's lives easier!

Good luck.

Krista - posted on 07/16/2009

Quoting Stacey:

Just thought i would update you all... after confronting my mother inlaw for moaning about our parenting skills, and belittling me to my Fiance and everything else it has now resulted in my Fiance no longer wanting contact with his family. No matter what we do my mother inlaw will never be happy.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. 

With one of the above posts, I think that sleeping naked is a bit past the line considering that it is not neccesary. I don't think I would even do that with my son.

It's a tough line though I guess...

If we are too prudish around our children, this might lead to them being ashamed of their body. On the other hand, if we (or other family members etc.) are too open with them, they may not realise that there are boundaries.

Bathing is natural and normal and I'm sure that siblings often bathe with one another and this is not seen as wrong. We are the people that gave birth to our children.

I am so sorry though that your MIL can't see your reasoning. My MIL has grabbed my son off me out of the shower and seen my body etc.

Just a bit of a question. Was she there when you gave birth to your child, or during the birth of her children's children for that matter??

If she was, then she totally baffeles me.

Oh how nice it would be if in-law's were a bit more respectful. Would sure as hell make a lot of people's lives easier!

Good luck.

ROSA - posted on 07/15/2009

NO!!! SWEETIE, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG W/ THAT.. TO TELL U THE TRUTH.. I FEEL LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG IF SOME ONES MIND CAN GO THE DIRECTION OF THINKING THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG W/ IT.. NO NO NO... UR NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG.. I'M NOT SURE UNTIL WHAT AGE I WOULD FEEL WOULD BE RITE TO DO SO....BUT, DEFINATLY OK FOR THE FIRST FEW YRS.. THAT'S UR BABY... MOMS KNOW WHEN SOMETHING'S NOT RITE.. THEY RAISED THERIR KIDS.... U RAISE YOURS..

Deirdre - posted on 07/15/2009

How do YOU feel about it? Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. If you feel it is alright and you were okay with this until someone said something negative, then it must be okay. For what it's worth though, good for grandma to want bathe with her grandboy!

Sally - posted on 07/15/2009

that's a decision that you and your husband should have the freedom to make. These things are very touchy because everyone has their own boundaries and comfort levels, kwim? I personally don't think it's disgusting at all. We as a society have made nakedness a shameful and 'sexual' thing. (no, I'm NOT a nudist, lol) But that's why it needs to be something that you and your husband are comfortable with, then I'd keep it to myself if it is disconcerting to your inlaws :-)

Esther - posted on 07/15/2009

Quoting Stacey:

Just thought i would update you all... after confronting my mother inlaw for moaning about our parenting skills, and belittling me to my Fiance and everything else it has now resulted in my Fiance no longer wanting contact with his family. No matter what we do my mother inlaw will never be happy.

Stacey - I'm sorry to hear that. I know what it's like to not get along with your inlaws. We had no contact with my husband's mother for about 5-6 years and we still have no real contact with his dad (his parents are divorced). Just a word of caution though - even while you have no contact with them, try not to talk too negatively about them to your fiancee. My husband is pretty much on the same page as me re. his parents but after 5-6 years of no contact, he looked his mom up again anyway. After all, she's the only mom he has and he just found it very difficult to not have her in his life in some way. Being too critical of them could really put pressure on your relationship, even if your fiancee agrees with you on some level. It's still hard to hear that about your parents. Just my two cents. I hope things work out for you.

Katie - posted on 07/15/2009

I dont think it is disgusting or wrong, i wouldnt be bothered if my mom bathed with my son when he stays, ive bathed with my son however he has started tryin to poke my nipples so now i no longer bath with him. Id ignore what they are sayin your his mom and his not in any danger so tell them to back off.

Ashlee - posted on 07/15/2009

NO i think its fine for him to get in the bath with ur mum he's only a baby not like he will no anything about it!

x

Dana - posted on 07/15/2009

Ah, that's too bad that it couldn't be resolved. Sounds like you've all got a long road ahead of you. Good luck in the future!

Stacey - posted on 07/15/2009

Just thought i would update you all... after confronting my mother inlaw for moaning about our parenting skills, and belittling me to my Fiance and everything else it has now resulted in my Fiance no longer wanting contact with his family. No matter what we do my mother inlaw will never be happy.

Leanne - posted on 07/15/2009

nope....nothing wrong in my opinion with that at 9 mos. What fun he must think it is!

Zojoho - posted on 07/15/2009

I agree with a few of the girls here, I think it's wrong that your Mother would do this. I believe that some things should be left sacred between a Mum & Dad and their children.

I have had issues with my MIL in the past sleeping naked with my Daughter when she was alot younger. When I confronted my ILs regarding my concerns, they just laughed it off and said that I had issues...pffttt, too bloody right I do. NOBODY sleeps naked with ANY of my children..EVER.
I stopped my Daughter from sleeping over there for over 12 mths, it took me alooonng time to work up trust in them that they'd do the right thing..and low and behold, they did it again and I tore strips off them.
I see it as, how am I supposed to teach my children what is acceptable behaviour if I allow people to do this in their presence? Regardless of who they are..family, friend's etc.
Hope this helps. xx

Krista - posted on 07/15/2009

I personally don't think that there is anything wrong with that! I occasionally chuck my son in the shower with my Mum when we are staying over. I have never thought twice about it! There shouldn't be any shame in our bodies in the right circumstance.

Erin - posted on 07/15/2009

If he was 9 YEARS OLD then yes, but he's only a baby!!!! And it's really none of their business anyway.

Dana - posted on 07/14/2009

I guess I'd ask if she'd wear a bathing suit. That way everyone can just chill out. It's crazy that it's causing conflict between your families and that's not worth it. I would hope your mom understands and agrees. Good luck!

Krista - posted on 07/14/2009

I don't think that I'd be okay with anyone but my husband or me having a bath with our 8 month old, but if you and your husband are okay with it, it shouldn't matter what the inlaws think. If your husband has a problem with it, however, your mom shouldn't be doing it.

Sarah - posted on 07/14/2009

i agree. theres certain things that only parents should do with their children.

a few months ago my 18year sis had a bath with my 5month old son ./. i was fuming .. especially since a) she never asked and no one was there to help lift him out so what if something happened? and b) i'd never had a bath with him before that

Yolanda - posted on 07/13/2009

I think only you and your husband should be doing it... not your or his parents.

But its a personal opinion

Angela - posted on 07/13/2009

I think it is wrong. It is different when you are the child's mom. There are certain things that are okay for you to do with your baby that shouldn't be with anyone else. If you hubby doesn't like it then I wouldn't let it. Would you let your Mother in law do it too??

Allison - posted on 07/13/2009

I don't think there is anything wrong with this. As adults we have a habit of assuming our opinions unto our children. Afterall, who wants to bathe with an old lady!! Your baby doesn't see a wrinkly old lady - - and let's be honest that's what everyone is envisioning, yes? He sees his Gran and I'm sure he is thrilled to splash in the tub with her.

Amanda - posted on 07/13/2009

I'm not really sure that any of our opinions should matter here. You and your husband are raising this child and I think that it should be up to you two to decide how to do it. If it makes your husband uncomfortable than maybe you two should come to some sort of compromise on the matter. You would want him to do the same for you if his family did anything that made you uncomfortable.

Rhonda - posted on 07/13/2009

no! this is ok. i had bath with gran until i was 5. we play toys in da tub with bubles. i think if sum 1 think it rong and gross dat they r da 1 wit da problem. jus ignore dem. he is yer boy do wat u think is da rite way.

Lucy - posted on 07/13/2009

i bath with my son but each to there own, i wouldnt let my mum or my husbands mum do

Denise - posted on 07/12/2009

AT NINE MONTHS OLD NO NOT AT ALL. AND WHY IS YOUR HUSBAND TALKING TO HIS FAMILY ABOUT YOUR MOM IN THE BATH TUB

Toni - posted on 07/12/2009

I wonder if they would feel the same if your son was a girl instead? that would be interesting to know. I dont know what to say here.. this isnt something that ive heard of people doing- im a first time mom.. I wouldnt be concerned if my mom or my boyfriends mom wanted to bathe with my son.. why not get 2 things done at the same time..get clean and play with babe! sounds good to me!

Lynlee - posted on 07/12/2009

I don't think it's a bit deal at all. My husband and I both bathe and shower with our 2.5 year old son and don't plan on stopping any time soon. Yes he is curious about different body parts of both of us but it's good to show him there is no shame in intimate areas and that they are just part of the whole boby, no different to your hand, toe whatever. My parents have never bathed with our son but that is just because we always do his bath when we stay there. Think about all those cultures in the world where they swim in the river or lake instead of a bath - they don't freak out at older people and children bathing together - it is just our society that equates older, less 'beautiful' bodies with dodgy behaviour.

Tammy - posted on 07/12/2009

I don't see anything wrong with it. I have always bathed with all my children when they were babies. My husband on the other hand stopped when one of them kept trying to grab whatever was floating in the water ;) He hasn't bathed with the 2 kids we've had since LOL. But to stem conflict maybe your mother would wear a swimsuit and everyone take a step back and really look at the reasons why they have a problem with it.

Esther - posted on 07/12/2009

You can also ask your mom to wear a bathing suit when she takes baths with your son. My husband always wears swim trunks when he bathes with our son (I don't bother).

Jamie Lee - posted on 07/12/2009

I don't see anything wrong with it until the point at which he starts to realize different body parts like pointing at them and stuff which will happened approx at 1 1/2 years old. At that point he is becoming aware of body parts and its no longer okay. Although if it bothers your husband... and causing anxiety between the two of you I would talk to your mother and ask her not to do it because of how your husband feels. If your mother loves you she will understand. He should have a say so in how your child is raised too... Question tho... what has happened in his past experience to think this is wrong? just asking because possibly there is a reason behind this.... unless he just has his parents whispering in his ear....

Maria - posted on 07/12/2009

Quoting Stacey:

Do you think it's DISCUSTING & WRONG for a Gran to go in the bath with her Granson?

I have a 9month old son, i always go in the bath with him and occationally when visiting my mum, she like to take him in the bath with her to have some quality play time as he loves the water, but my Fiances family find this complety DISCUSTING & WRONG, which has caused conflict between our two familys. PLS give me your opinions, many thanks xx

yeah thats is so wrong

Esther - posted on 07/12/2009

I don't think that's disgusting or wrong at all! You're inlaws should take a deep breath and get some perspective.

Stacey - posted on 07/12/2009

i dont see anything wrong with it my son used to go in the bath with my mum until we moved its up to you what you allow and dont allow