Has this ever happened to you

Liliane - posted on 02/18/2010

Oh my God, I'm absolutely fuming as I read your post! You must be one patient lady because if that had been me, those two old hags would have had a piece of my mind and possibly something else too! How about they get off their old shrivered arses and let you sit down with the baby and then you might be able to sooth your son!

Felicia - posted on 02/17/2010

if that happened to me they wouldnt be talking anymore. I know they are older but that dont give them the right to think they know better or talk down about me and let some one tell me shut that thing up they wouldnt like the out come of it. they dont like it then they can move its not like you son was being a bad baby like some kids that run around causeing all kinds of trouble even at that its not no ones right to talk to you or your son the way she did.

Julia - posted on 02/17/2010

Yes, but on a bus. It's tough because you are stuck and can't really do anything. You have to just get through the moment. I find, sadly, that older women who are finished raising their children are the most critical of others' parenting. Their children are gone and they're out of practice having patience. It was very interesting for me to find out that one lady in particular, who often gives me a hard time, did not do such a great job raising her own children, and now has little to no contact with her grandchildren. Realizing this makes it easier to dismiss her opinions. Try to ignore the comments and don't let other people make you feel inadequate. I think it's just terrible how women tend to undermine each other this way.

Tiffany - posted on 02/17/2010

You probably did what was best by not saying anything. You never know what a person might do if you talk back. However, I personally would have told them to mind their own business and told them that if they got up so I could sit that I would be able to calm my child down. Also, I would have told her not to speak about my child like that and if she didn't like it, then she doesn't need to take public transportation. You did what was right. It's dangerous to hold a baby while standing on a train. Don't worry about what people say, especially older people. They're very opinionated and don't know how rude they are sometimes. My mother in law is like that...sweetest lady, but doesn't understand that when she says certain things that she's being rude. I just make my spouse tell her it's not okay, in a nice way.

Candace - posted on 02/16/2010

ya i ahev had something like that i had my 1st daughter when i was 21 an a older lady with her daughter were in the mall an i was with my mom an my 1st an that lady walked by and said oh my god she is 17 with a baby i caant believe it and my mom tured around an was like no she is 21 and even if i was younger she had no place to judge i jus look really young so i get judged an now i understand how the girls who i give credit to who are really young trying to raise a baby feel an i feel for ya:)

LISA - posted on 02/16/2010

not me but It would have taken all I had to not slap the crap out of her.... but when you think about it when they were young they got married at 16 and had children by 18... so what room is there for them to blame it on being young... you did what you could and you can't judge a parent on a little amount of time like that... don't let it get to you

Ashley - posted on 02/16/2010

Never happen to me, but I would be pissed beyond belief! If they've ever been a mother, then they should know better.

DeeDee - posted on 02/16/2010

DON'T LET ANYONE TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT DARL!!! If someon is rude enough to stick there nose in, I usually ask what their "knowledge filled" opinion is, & what they think I should do since they obviously "know all!" 9/10 they don't have anything to say back, & when if they do I just turn around with, "Oh, what do u know, that DOESN'T work for MY baby, so why don't u leave me & MY baby alone since I'm doing the best job I can & nobody asked u BABY EXPERT!!!" Yeah, if anyone dares to "stoke the fire" when I'm having a bad enough day; they'll get burnt. Lol.

ANGEL - posted on 02/16/2010

No An I am sorry that happen and anytime my daughter Trinity starts to cry I tell my husband it aint like the never heard a crying baby before if not god they had one lonely life

Angela - posted on 02/15/2010

I would have told them to shut up and said maybe if I could sit down I could pick him up.

Kayla - posted on 02/15/2010

i would have flipped they have to understand you couldnt pick him up...

Kelly - posted on 02/15/2010

Thats insane. For one dont ever think you are a bad mother. There are bad mothers out there who beat their kids or strave them and whatnot. So dont think for one second you are! Second my first response was to slap the bitch for saying that but I had to rethink that since I am a grown woman and a mother. Basically I would of just said "Are you his mother?" "Didnt think so, so let me do my job that I chose and deal with my child they way I would like." People who are rude hate words of encouragment it tends to piss them off more.

Love goes out to all you moms who have had a bad experience like this. None of us deserve this. Remember think positive and always thank them for the wonderful knowledge on how to succeed at parenthood 70 years ago!

Jessica - posted on 02/15/2010

Hasn't happened to me. Best thing to do is just ignore them. I'm sure if you could've you would've calmed your baby better and sooner. But since they were rude in the first place and didn't offer their seat to you, then their karma is having to deal with a crying baby. People are rude. Kill them with kindness and they won't know what to do.

Nicole - posted on 02/15/2010

Oh my goodness, both those people were rude and judgmental and probably bitter because they don't have kids, or are angry about their life, or had the same experiences themselve and are now trying to make some else feel as bad as they did. Sorry for the run-on sentence. Your post just made me angry.
I can't say I've had exactly the same experience as you did, but I have felt the sting of judgement from strangers in their disapproving clucks and stares when my 2 year old is having one of her vocal and dramatic moments at the grocery store. I used to date a guy who was embarrassed by it because of what she was doing and how people were reacting. He actually said to me one time "can't you make her stop, she's being loud and disturbing people". I looked at him (glared at him actually) and said, she's 2 years old, do honestly expect her to behave like a perfect little adult. I'm sure you and those other judgmental jackasses (yes I said jackasses while shooting an acid glare at the woman tsking and clucking at me) behaved the same way when you were 2. And you're mothers I'm sure would have appreciated some empathy. Not dirty looks and impatient tsks! That shut him up and the woman too! And it felt good. You should try that next time, maybe not as rudely as I did. But hey sometimes rude gives birth to rude.

Amy - posted on 02/15/2010

This specific situation hasn't happened to me, but I have noticed just how rude people can be ( particularily females I've found - at least to me). Whether they were young or old there is really no excuse for how rude they were, ESPECIALLY being they were older women one would think they would know how it feels and how hard it can be (please forgive if that sounds like a mis-judgement). I have had people bump into me and my baby and turn to glare at me and not offer so much as an "I'm sorry", or whisper to each other about how they doubt I've checked the carseat my baby is in to make sure it's safe as I look like a young mother (for one I'm 22 but look 17, and two, when did age determine how good I am with my child or how much I care?). I hate when I see people give dirty looks to moms whose babies are crying or can't even help a mom with a baby/children with even a door. I can't believe how people can be so rude, you showed true class by not getting into with them, I do think they deserved to be reprimanded, but I'm sure the last thing going through your mind when your child is upset is having to remind two women that should know better, how to act like adults. (sorry if that was long) Keep your head up hun, you sound like you're doing a wonderful job, you should be proud that you are that mature and classy, which is not something I can say for them.

Ami - posted on 02/14/2010

People are just ignorant. If it was me, I would have said something along the lines of mind your business, but that's me. Some people are just rude.

Kati - posted on 02/14/2010

wow how rude!! i used to be so shy about things.. but within this past year i have become so outspoken! they would have her it from me! i was in walmart the other day printing out a coulpe of pictures and my 7 week old daughter started crying and she has colic so when she cries she wont stop for a while! well i was trying to get the photo guy to hurry up and give me the price sticker so i could leave and he was taken forever and i was loudly sayin to my self i wish he would hurry up and i kept tryin to clam my little one and the guy next to me kept lookin at me .while the guy behind the counter kept giving me these aweful looks like make her be quiet. .. i kno how u feel some people can be SOOOOO RUDE!! that crazy lady should have offered u a seat i kno i would have if i was in her seat! i think a lot of older women are bitter these days! they just dont care bout ne one but thereselves!

Heather - posted on 02/14/2010

People can be so rude! You were right not to say anything. They weren't worth your breath and your baby doesnt need his Mom to be negative like those awful people. Having a baby on a train is tough enough! You should be proud of yourself for showing restraint.

Sandra - posted on 02/14/2010

i have never had that happen but you did mention that they were 2 older women. When they were young mothers they didn't have car seats, so they probably didn't even think that you were worried about safety. Don't worry about it, you know that you are a great mom,

I think there is something very wrong with the older generation..the reason I think that is because they ALWAYS make comments to us young moms that make no sense to us. They always seem to think that they were better moms, they always say "don't hold that baby too much you will spoil him/her" they give us advice that is sometimes horrible and unsafe.
i think they are just rude, unhappy bitter women but I also think that they didn't realize how unsafe it would have been to pick us your baby, and console him.

Jenn - posted on 02/14/2010

I've never had that happen to me, but me being the type of person I am would have told the lady to shut the hell up herself, I'm not disrespectful towards the elderly but if they are going to make a rude comment like that then of course I'm going to say one back to them. Babies cry, thats the only thing they know what to do at that age, there was nothing else you could have done other then give him a bottle, I would have given my son a bottle too...only you know your child, no body else! but older people think they know it all, and they think the world owes them something just because their old...well I'm sorry to all the old people they deffently dont know it all and the world doesnt owe them a damn thing because they have aged and they feel some type a way about it, but they need to keep their comments to themselfs because they wouldnt like it if it was the other way around!

Sabrina - posted on 02/14/2010

oh man if that was me she wouldnt of known what had hit her.. i would of just snapped cuz that was REALLY rude! iam a very young mother i was only 18 when i have my daughter..and iam great mom they shouldnt say stuff liek that cuz they dont know if ur bad mom...iam sure your a great mom...!!!!! dont listen to people when they make rude comment liek that!

Amy - posted on 02/14/2010

I can only guess what kind of mothers those women must be. I guess they forgot how difficult it is to have "little ones." It will always bother me that women are so cruel and judgmental when they have clearly been through much of the same - sleeplessness, self-doubt, ridicule. What about the joy, the smiles, the laughter?

Shirley - posted on 02/14/2010

Yes I have been in that situation, in that position I tend to say "babies do cry, what kind of person does it make you to have a go at a little baby, I hope your proud of yourself". There is many things I would say, always politely. I would never let it just go because it leaves the distinct impression that what they say and how they act is acceptable when it simply is not. For the same reason I do not sit on public transport and ridicule someone - usually the elderly and middle age who carry a certain smell... neither would i leave any parent feeling bad.
A human being would have offered you a seat to enable you to comfort your crying baby... An ignorant person mocks what they themselves are no good at doing.

Chin up sweetie - your better than that. x

Mandy - posted on 02/14/2010

what an ignorant cow. I don't get why everyone thinks that they are entitled to an opinion about our children and how we raise them.
I used to get "attitude" from the grannies when I went on the bus, with a pram. Especially with both of them, I would sit near the from and for some reason the old ladies seemed to think they're names where on it. One afternoon I had both my kids, my daughter was 3 and my son was tiny, me and my daughter where laughing and having fun and my son was asleep in the buggy when this woman in her 60's got on with a shopping trolley, stood for a bit staring at me and when I didn't move, stormed to the next seat behind me next to some other old biddy, and started mouthing off in a loud voice about "young single mums shouldn't be pumping out so many children". I nearly fell off my seat trying not to laugh - I'm married and 32 at then end of this year, and only have 2 kids. Instead of having a stand up argument in front of my kids, I just loudly talked to my daughter about whether she thought her daddy would be home from work when we got in, then started talking about wedding anniversaries, and as always my daughter would say "I was in your tummy wasn't I mummy when you and my daddy got married". When it came to our stop, I turned round and gave the woman the sweetiest smile ever, and carried on loudly talking about ages and asked my daughter how old mummy was - her answer "you're 31 mummy, just like my daddy", the woman's face was a picture. Teach her not to judge.
Personally if I was in your situation I would have asked her very loudly if she minded giving up her seat so I could settle my baby, shame her into moving and shuting up.

Farren - posted on 02/14/2010

wow i have had people look at me funny sometimes, but i have never had someone say anything like that to me.thats horrible! there are times where your child will just have to cry because you cant pick them everytime. my grandmothers say crap like that sometimes because they came from different times.dont let it bother you. im sure your a great mom and by not saying anything back you were the bigger person :)

Lucia - posted on 02/14/2010

Oh wow! you poor thing! don't listen to them... unfortunately a lot of time has passed since they had their kids and they obviously don't remember how hard things can be sometimes when your child cries in a public place. Good on you for not shouting back - I would have probably said something inappropriate! old crones...;)

Jessica - posted on 02/14/2010

no but i would of said something

Nikki - posted on 02/14/2010

has never happened to me, but if i did I would have told her to Shut the F up, but that's just me I don't put up with anyone's BS

Megan - posted on 02/13/2010

i get it from my own family we hold him to long feed him to much on and on just ignore them your child thinks your the best mum ever and there the ones that really count

Sheila - posted on 02/13/2010

Either the lady has never had a child to deal with, or she's forgotten what it was like to be the mother of a small child. I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a rude person. Don't beat yourself up about it. You did what you thought was best for your child, and all that you could do.

Kasey - posted on 02/13/2010

rememeber you know your child better than anyone and what is safe for him/her so dont let those people get to you stand up for urself if you feel you need to i hate the way older people are towards new mothers but they just dont understand how much things have changed these days

Jessica - posted on 02/13/2010

wow i feel so bad for all you mom's who have come into contact with these old b!tches. personally because i have a mouth like a trucker and i really have no respect for people like that i would just say "oh shut the Eff up!" and leave it at that. or i would result to "ok u can hold him then, see how easy it is"

Dianne - posted on 02/13/2010

I am so sorry to hear about the poor manners. Please know that we aren't all the same. I was riding on a train recently and a woman,very pregnant got on. I gave her my seat, when NONE of the men did.

Amy - posted on 02/13/2010

I have had it several times, i get the train regularly to and from uni and all i get is jip from people. I have quite often had to stand with my daugther because people are to arogant to stand up so that you can feed your child its awful!! the worst thing is that the guards on the train are not willing to help you at all. I find that the best thing to do is ignore them but if it is really getting to you then say something to them. I have done it before and have been given a seat and some room!!lol!

Candice - posted on 02/13/2010

No it has not happenend to me. If it had I would have told that woman DO NOT speak to me that why. With the two women talking just let them and go on with your day. I just would not have taken the disrespect.

Cristal - posted on 02/13/2010

OMG!!!NO but i was in a bus with my cuzin and my son at that time he was about 2 months so he sleeping in the bus but there was this other girl there who was a teen mom and her baby wouldnt stop crying (maybe the baby had colics) but that didnt stop this woman from talking abou the girl and telling the girl to tell her baby to shut up. My as a mother also i told the woman that that was a baby and she had to understand and that the bus was public and if she didnt like it she should get off and take a taxi, the woman got on my case and my cuzin step in and told her that i had a baby in my arms not to start with me. The baby was still crying and the woman was still talking crap about the baby so the girl had enof and passed the baby to my cuzin and they started fight when the cops came the girl didnt get in trouble because they understood the situation. But i will be real careful around my baby and wouldnt fight the woman but i will put her in her place but everyone is different. people like that need to be put in there place!

Charlena - posted on 02/13/2010

I would have politely said "If one of you hateful old women would get up so I could sit down I'd be more than happy to pick him up and comfort him, If not, mind your own business" and smiled at them the whole time. Some people just don't understand how rude and obnoxious they are because they weren't raised to be considerate human beings.

Maggie - posted on 02/13/2010

oh my goodness, you poor thing. i feel for you. i was on the train myself the other day and no one bothered to get up for me. people have no respect anymore. i guess older women are rude because they are shown no respect from young people.
you arent a bad mother i would have put a bottle in my sons mouth too. i guess they were havin a bad day or as i said they are also sick of the lack of respect and chivalry in society today.
i dont know what i would have done to someone who made such a nasty comment probably just give them a dirty look back or ask if they want him to be quiet get up and give you a seat so you could settle him

Marcia - posted on 02/12/2010

That's never happened to me and maybe that's a good thing because I would have put her in her place. Who the hell does she think she is? If she's so concerned about your baby crying why doesn't the old hag get off her ass and let you sit. I feel bad that you had to go through this. It's only natural for a baby to cry and those that have a problem with it are just ignorant.

Ashley - posted on 02/12/2010

i'm sorry but i most def would have told her to mind her own business and told her where to go in a second. thats uncalled for. you should have said to her well if you would give up your seat and let me sit with my child maybe i could calm him down but until that happens this is what you will have to listen to!

Lequita - posted on 02/12/2010

i think that the next time something like that happens you should tell that person what it is you need to make situation better. for instance if you need a seat so you can give your son the attention he needs say that. also some old people are just bitter and set in their ways. you are a good mom.

Ashley - posted on 02/12/2010

Something similer kind of happend to me. I was 8 month pregnant, and at the grocerie store just picking a few things up. I was headed towards the check out and stainding in a line, and a droped something. So I bent over to pick it up, as you know not an easy thing as a 8 month pregnant lady and an old couple quickly walked in front of me in line. I was shocked. Far to shy to say anything. but old people suck. I dont think they relize that maybe we look young and imature but thats only cause they got old. Meh. Just know your doing the best job you can and other people can mind there own buisness.

Sara - posted on 02/12/2010

I would have told her something. I didn't used to be so bold but today I was at a towing co about my car and the other lady in the office was laughing at me bc I was asking questions. I told the one at the front desk that I've never been in an accident before so the rudeass woman in the office can laugh all she wants... I would have said something similar [ or worse ;) ]to anyone who fussed at me because my child was crying and I wasn't allowed to pick him up.

Andrea - posted on 02/12/2010

oh wow! this has never happened to me. but in the event that it does, I would promptly and sweetly tell them that they don't know me, and shouldn't act like they do. then i would smile and carry on with my day. don't take it with a grain of salt. people are rude...they always will be, and all you can do is push through whatever crap they lay out for you.

Sierra - posted on 02/12/2010

wow, reading that.. that`s really rude.

Amanda - posted on 02/12/2010

I'm so sorry that happened to you! And to all the other moms who've posted with similar stories, too! My goodness, I just can't believe how nasty people can be!!!

Jennifer - posted on 02/12/2010

And as for some old people don't get me started...fair enough I used to give up my seat sometimes but now when I get on the bus/Metro I have the pram and most of the time I have to ask pensioners in particular to move so I can get the pram in the pram bay...most of them just give me hacky looks or don't move - a gentle knock from the pram gets them moving!

Jennifer - posted on 02/12/2010

I havn;t experienced that myself but I was once on a Metro and a little boy around the age of 3 years old was just playing with a musical toy and this man turned around and shouted saying "Will you shut that f***ing toy up!" Naturally the boy started crying and the man then made a comment about him crying. Some people are so nasty - I think they forget that they too were once a baby and cried. Just ignore them hun, they're not worth it!

Terra - posted on 02/12/2010

Those two old bitties should be ashamed of themselves. Do they not remember what it was like to have a little one like that? Or it sounds like they might not have ever had children. That would have really upset me... and I am so outspoken I would have said something. I think I would have said what do you want to try? Or do you want to give up your seat so I can calm him down safely? I didn't think so. Don't comment that I am a bad mother b/c you don't know the first thing about me, but I think that how your acting right now is showing alot about you. How dare they!!!!

Ashley - posted on 02/12/2010

honestly YES this happened to me about 1 month ago my husband to be and I were on the city bus with our 2 daughters he had the youngest (shes 9 months now) and the stroller and a couple bags.. I was holding our oldest who is now 27 months old.. and she was very cranky for some reason all she did was fight to get off my lap and screamed the whole ride home ... but what can you do on a bus jsut let them up to walk around No of course not ... so when it got time to get off the bus i carried her off (of course the whole ride i was telling her that her behaviour was wrong and she needed to stop now) anyways we got off the bus and my fiance and daughter got off after us and a lady sitting at the front had gave me and my daughter the dirtest look and said finally once we got offf not knowing my fiance and daughter were actaully with me oh boy was he mad when he heard her say that