HELP-AM I GOING INSANE?!?!

Sydney - posted on 05/15/2010

http://www.parenting.com/article/Pregnan...

I thought this was pretty nice...if my doc says he wants to put me in a hospital 4 it i want to go here...it's actually near me lol...chappel hill nc put a special section in their hospital specifically for moms with postpartum depression.

SHANNON - posted on 05/14/2010

you may be experiancing post partum depression. yes even after 5 months or a year you can still have it. you are overly stressed, two girls are hard to handle. talk to your doctor about it.

Gizella - posted on 05/13/2010

Hi Sydney,



I went through exactly what you are, and it is not so easy to just say it is the baby blues or PND, it far worse, so I won't put any frills on it. It is hard, scary, frightening and you feel helpless all the time. I did not have my husband around to help me through it (we were in the process of a divorce) so I was trying to deal with it on my own. YOU CAN'T!!!!. I found out the hard way after I tried to harm myself and my daughter. A very close friend of mine eventually had to do an intervention and booked me into hospital so that I could get the help I needed. It took me six months to eventually feel like I was getting some sort of control back into my life and I was on meds for almost four years before I could wean myself off them and still mantain some form of sanity and control.

I later found out that the reason I was prone to it was because their was a history of chemical hormonal inbalance in our family which basically stops your body from being able to readjust it's hormone levels after events of extreme truama and pregnancy. It is also common in women with thyroid problems, which can develope during pregnancy if you didn't have it before.



My advice to you as one who has been there, done it and survived. Is this, do not see the fact that you need help to get through this as a weakness but rather as a strength, you are taking back your power and control by going to someone who has the information you need to fix it.

Do not just take everything your doctors or anyone else says as given, listen to your body and DO NOT SETTLE OR SHUT UP UNTIL YOU FEEL that whatever meds they put you on or whatever course of action they suggest works for you. If you don't feel right you will know!!!! Nobody knows your body better than you, tell them so that they can change it. YOU ARE IN CONTROL.



And always remember that this is just a little bump in the road and this too shall pass. I am here 10 years on from having to spend two weeks in a phyciatric ward, doped to my eyeballs.

I know have a beautiful son and amazing husband and my daughter and I have a bond far stronger than I could have ever imagined. I was terrified of my second pregnancy even though it was 10 year later and that I would go throught the same things again, but with carefull monitoring and knowing that i had the power, I got through it without even a small bump. And so will you, Don't be afraid to ask for help!



Be strong and remember you have the control.

Jj - posted on 05/11/2010

Hey hun, thats great you made the first step, and that is the hardest part done! Im so glad your husband sounds really supportive and understanding, that is so important! Hope all goes well at the appointment, let us know how it goes! Thinking of you, take care xx keep smiling :)

Tamara - posted on 05/10/2010

Dear Sydney,

It sounds like you have postpartum blues or even ppd. It is normal and some women get it one year after giving birth. The best advice is to see your health care practioner to get some support and possibly medication if you are comfortable with that. I, too, had the blues after giving birth to my second child and took St. John's Wort (liquid) for about a month and it really made a huge difference. Don't bother trying to fight what your feeling, just take a deep breath and if you can do something loving for yourself when going having a particularily bad day. I also suggest you speak with your husband to tell him how you are feeling to get additional support. If you have any family that can come out to help and give you a break will really help you as well. That is what I did and it really helped.

Take care of you,

God bless,

Tamara

Antoinette - posted on 05/10/2010

HI ladies,

Remember that your hormone levels go haywire with pregnancy. When you feel like this, it is important to see your gynae and look at any contraception you might be on etc. Once you have gone through that process it is important to speak to your local PND clinic or doctor. As you can see by the replies, this is not an unusual thing and there are plenty of women out there who suffer the same as you. GET HELP! There is no shame in making yourself a better, stronger woman for yourself and your family.

Sydney - posted on 05/08/2010

Thank you everyone for being so supportive of me. If it wasn't for you all I wouldn't have even had the courage to tell my husband about it and I'm truly greatful for all of your help :)

Sydney - posted on 05/08/2010

My doctors app. went good, but I chickened out about asking him about it...But a few hours ago my husband went behind my back (thank goodness) and called a friend of his while I was in the shower. His friend works for New River Behavioral Healthcare as a consultant-I think that's what he's called-He basically determines the person's mental state and what course of treatment they need. Recently he opened his own practice. (my husband used to do yard work for the man lol)
When i got out of the shower I walked into the room and my husband basically did an intervention on me lol and told me about what the guy had told him. Unfortunately my husband had to call him back and I had to talk to him on the phone. My husband had already told him everything because I wrote it all out on a piece of paper to take to my doctor. I really didn't have to say much and the man said it would be ok for him to be on speaker phone so my husband could hear and speak for me in case I freaked out (which I did...I was so horrified I was fighting back tears and a panic attack) After we got off the phone I broke down and started bawling and I just fell to the floor. My husband made me feel better because he hugged me and told me that he was proud of me for getting help and that he was glad that I had finally opened up to him about what was wrong with me.
But anyway we set up an appointment to see him on thursday at 8 pm. I already feel a TON better now that the hard part is over(telling someone I have a problem lol) I'm sooooooo greatful for my husband doing what he did :)

*Lisa* - posted on 05/08/2010

Nah I don't think you are crazy at all. I often have the most irrational thoughts and major mood swings. Can be happy one minute and very dark the next. I hope your doctors appointment goes well and don't be afraid to tell him/her everything. Don't hold back. Good luck :)

Basia - posted on 05/08/2010

Sydney, nothing is wrong with you . This is all quite normal and I think many many mums have terrible thoughts which they don't talk about. I feel very similar to you .

I have a nine month old and I don't get enough sleep. . I also feel dog tired most of the time and sometimes worry non stop about my baby.I think if it's really bothering you you should see a doctor about it and talk to someone as soon as possible.

I have my mum and close friend and of course my husband to whome I tell everything. You need to get it all out and stop carrying it around with you. Please don't feel you are alone. It takes great courage to discuss this openly . When I feel rotten I just think well about a million other mums must feel the same way and it's true.

Please talk to either a profesional or someone wise close to you.
Take care and be strong .

Nicole - posted on 05/08/2010

sweetie you have PND, you need to see a doctor who understands about these things. Write down all your symptoms/feelings/worries and take it to the appointment. they will probably prescribe medication which will not hurt your baby if they say it wont. You also should look at lifestyle factors like diet and exercise and having a social life (it may not be exciting but it should exist). This is very common and 99% of women who seek help return to their old selves eventually. If they give you medication and you dont think its helping go back and discuss other options what works for one woman may not work for another. And most of all remember HAPPY MUM HAPPY BUB (am aussie we spell it with a u)

Madelon - posted on 05/07/2010

*put

Madelon - posted on 05/07/2010

i was feeling blue and extremely anxious and getting so angry for no reason and having crazy thoughts and i called my obgyn and i have post pardum depression, they but me on an anti depressant and i feel much more like myself! call your doctor bc you're not alone, many woman go thru it but there is help and support out there, dont be embaressed, i know i was but when i seeked help i recieved it, and u need the support of ur family to help u thru this!

Jessica - posted on 05/07/2010

I agree it sounds like it would be best to make an appointment with a doctor and get some counseling/professional help with this. That's great you've talked to your husband about it and he's on board to help you too. I'm no doctor though I do have a bit of background in psych, but regardless- the things you've described sound a lot like post partum depression. Emotional and weepy all the time, those horrible thoughts that you can't control and playing out awful scenerios in your head and feeling unable to stop them. This happens to so many women though so know that you are not alone. Therapy and medication can really work wonders so hopefully you can find some relief!

Annie - posted on 05/07/2010

I felt the same after my son was born. I talked to my Ob and the prescribed some anti- depressants. I only had to take them for about a month, but it made a world of difference.

Rowan - posted on 05/07/2010

How horrible for you to be feeling this way, I hope all of you who are experiencing this gets all the help they need. Sending love from sunny Devon! :)

Jessica - posted on 05/07/2010

Heather...u just made me feel a lot less dorky. i lock the bedroom door every night and wont come out into the kitchen cuz im afraid of the same thing. i make hot bottles at night and take that and the formula with me so that i dont have to leave the room til day light. but anyway, i feel sad a lot of the time and cant explain, but i think its mostly because i worry too much. im a stay at home mom and alot of the sadness also comes from feeling guilty that i dont bring any income into the house. its gotten to were its only an every once in a while thing lately. but i also feel bad cuz i dont feel the same, dont have the same energy, or the same body and wonder if my bf still finds me attractive. but obviously your not alone, cuz i think alot of people probably feel like that. it may be that your a new mom, or it may be stress, i have no clue, but it makes everything ten times more frustrating than it probably really is.

Paulette - posted on 05/07/2010

My heart goes out to all you ladies who shared how you have been feeling. I have a website, http://www.motheringadvice.org.nz which is dedicated to helping Mothers enjoy the time when their children are babies. Nothing there directly about PND, because I never suffered from it, but you will definitely find some encouragement. It is a free site with no ads - I just want to help other Mothers. Also I agree Vitamin D can be helpful - I take it sometimes when feeling over tired or stressed. Take care, and God Bless.

Loree - posted on 05/07/2010

Your gonna think I am super crazy but I have had thoughts like that since I had my first child and then worse after my second but I didn't think anything of it and thought it was NORMAL?!?! I am terrified hysterically of a whole list of things normally though so I thought the realistic "daydreams" and horrible thoughts were just me being me... it's comforting to know I am not the only one. Thanks for posting this Sydney :)

Sydney - posted on 05/06/2010

I have a doctor app tomorrow for possible eczema lol so I think I'm going to try to bring it up to my doctor then. I hope I can. I'm really nervous though because my husband can't go since he has to work :(.

Tracey Ann - posted on 05/06/2010

Hi there your not alone there might be a slight chance you might have too go on depression pills, my sister went through that n she was seeing babies crawling on the floor n they were not really there, it ended up she had a chemical imbalance. This is a must to talk to your doctor. There are alot of people that have this problem sry hope i helped you

Jj - posted on 05/06/2010

i also agree that u should see a dr. i think writing it down is a great idea. and dont worry how the dr will look at u, they will most likely look at u with understanding and support, they must see this stuff a lot. im glad to hear your husband now knows about this and is trying to help, that will make such a world of difference! its not easy keeping this stuff to yourself...it sounds like you are taking the very important step of seeking help...i really hope seeing the dr helps and u start to feel better about things...all the best :)

Candice - posted on 05/06/2010

let your husband make the appointment...then write down everything you want to say..including how you're scared of talking to people. give your doctor the paper if you can't bring yourself to read it. :)

Sydney - posted on 05/05/2010

Thank you everyone. It cheers me up quite a bit just knowing that you all are trying to help and actually taking the time out of ur day to read this. It means a lot to me. My husband said that if I was to scared to make a doc. appointment tomorrow he'll call for me and tell my doctor what's going on. He usually makes phone calls for me anyways lol I freak out to bad and feel like I'm having a panic attack when I know I have to talk to people. I wish I had a way to talk to my doctor online about it through emails or something. It's so much easier to talk about things over the internet-that's why I love circle of moms :) But seriously everyone,thank you.

Melissa - posted on 05/05/2010

Well, I'd say you are probably suffering from a case of depression (which you probably already know). My suggestion would be seeing a dr. But I know it is hard to go to one and talk about your feelings. One thing you can try is taking Vitamin D. Vitamin D is important for 'happy' feelings (natural mood enhancer). For sleep at night I would suggest taking Melatonin (also a natural aid). You take it about an hour before you go to bed, it helps release your sleep hormone which will help calm your body, and hopefully your thoughts. But you only want to take it if you will be able to get at least 8 hours of sleep, if I use it and don't get 8 hours of sleep I feel drowsy the next day.

But the best suggestion would be to see your dr.

Candice - posted on 05/05/2010

seriously, the girls are right. doctors see this ALL THE TIME...you are not the first and won't be the last. get some help before it gets worse. i went through this too after my daughter was born. not immediately after, but shortly after. i couldn't cope, but with help i was back to normal in a matter of weeks and able to be a much better mom. :)

Cherri - posted on 05/05/2010

I have been going through the same thing. It was very scarry at first to go to my dr about the issue. I acyually spoke to a lady at the WIC office we have here in the state of washington. the dr will usually have u take a postpartum test about 6 weeks after giving birth. Thats when i finally had the urge to talk to him about it. he was very nice and of course said that the feelings were very normal. He suggested to me lexapro which i was very worried about taking due to the fact that i am breast feeding. He told me that it would not hurt the baby or the breast milk production at all. So i started to take a very low does it did not help at all and i took it for 2 weeks. so now he gave me a stronger antideppresnt which seems to be working much better. i am quite tired but im not sure if thats from waking up in the middle of the night with baby or the medication. but i do know that it has helped me. but do keep in mind that this does not always work for everyone. i hope that this helps

Shannen - posted on 05/05/2010

Just to let you know my mother has severe Depression borderline bipolar and she gets exactly what is happening with you happen to her even for her medication appointments. Its anxiety but an unreasonable anxiety and if and hopefully when you go to the Dr they WILL understand why you can't speak for yourself.

My mother has had this for over 20 yrs and she still can't make phone calls and things liek that she is so bad that my father has had to become her carer.

If you husband wants to help then let him i'd rather hear about how you did feel like a child, Even though you arent, and get the help you need then for this to turn into similar to what my mother has.

Shannen - posted on 05/05/2010

Talk to your Dr or a really trusted friend who can then help you get to a DR. It sounds to me like PND. I understand it is hard even if you arent shy. Your Dr wont make fun of you they should be able to help you and they will take it very seriously due to its nature.

All i can say is get to a DR ASAP Ask your husband to help you to push you to do it and for him to go with you would be even better cause then he would understand what is happening!

i know its not much but i hope it helps.

Sydney - posted on 05/05/2010

Thank u Heather. I don't like the fact that u are going through the same thing, but I'm happy that I'm not the only one lol. I want to go talk to my doctor about it but I'm horribly shy and I can't talk to people about my feelings and stuff. I was reading about phobias and things of that nature to see if there was a reason for me being so scared of talking to people and I found out that there is actually "social phobia" ( ithink that was what it was called) Ever since I was little I've been so horrified of speaking in front of groups that I would have rather died than go to school-and when i was in school i was absolutely terrified of having the teacher call on me to answer the question. It even got so bad that I would fail projects and homework assignments because I was afraid to get up in front of the class and read them. It seems rediculous that I'm too scared to talk to my doctor in order to get some help. I though about writing everything down that I was having problems with and then just handing him the paper and letting him read it but I'm afraid he would lookat me like I was loony or laugh at me or something. I would love for my husband to tell my doctor everything but then I would have to sit there feeling like a child because I can't talk for myself you know? It sucks...sorry for all of the rambling lol

Heather - posted on 05/05/2010

I've been feeling the same for the past couple moths also.. my son is almost 6 months.. my partner constantly asks whats wrong.. the other night the dog was barking and I could barely get out of bed at 430 to get my son his bottle because I thought someone was gonna be in the kitchen ready to shoot me than steal my son.. My best suggestion is breath and go talk to your doctor.. it may not be comfortable but they will understand and will help.. if your not comfortable taking anti depressants tell your doctor they will understand that too.. I haven't gone to the doctor yet either because Im still to afraid to.. Someone told me to try writting everything down that is bugging and keep reading it to myself and eachday if something new bugs me than add it because eventually I'll look at it and feel I have to go to the doctor.. I guess thats probably the best idea so that you can give your girls the best.. but yeah just try breathing and try talking to someone even if its not your doctor.. and maybe that person can take you to the doctor and sit there for support.. sorry im rambling on about nothing now

Sydney - posted on 05/05/2010

****Sorry...The top paragraph was what I wrote to my husband lol...I had to copy and paste this from the message i sent him earlier because last night circle of moms was having trouble and I was unable to post this.