Sydney - posted on 05/05/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )
Sydney Alexandra Minton May 5 at 2:24am
This is why I've been so sad lately and I don't want you to go to work and stuff...don't laugh, don't make fun of me, and don't tell me it'll be ok or that I don't need to worry about thingslike I do because i can't stop...I've tried...but please actually read it...
I had my 2nddaughter 5 months ago and I've been a little bit blue for quite a while now. It hadn't been too bad untill about a month ago. Now I feel like I'm ALWAYS tired even though I get enough sleep, I'm always either really sad or angry and I don't know why. It's like I want to cry but i can't get the tears to come out which frustrates me more (usually when I'm sad I feel better if I have a good cry) It's starting to feel like everyone's out to get me and I feel like I'm litterally going crazy. The worst part of it is that for about the past 2 weeks I can''t sleep due to horrible thoughts racing through my head. (i'm one of the overly worrying types lol) Like what if we got in a car crash tomorrow and I died or what if my kids died or my husband and I start panicking and oh...too much to write on here...(Don't think That I want any of that stuff to happen because I really don't but i can't stop the thoughts ) The worst one so far was one I had about 2 nights ago which was VERY realistic-for some reason a burglar broke into our house and said that he was going to kill all of us (me my husband and my 2 girls) unless me and my husband shot each other simultaniously in the head...then I had this horrible mental image of my husband and i staring at each other crying-saying our last goodbyes and that we love each other and my inlaws were in the room and I told them to tell my girls that i love them...then we raised the guns to each other's heads...finally i was able to stop the thought before it went any further...i cried myself to sleep that night...i didnt want to wake up my husband and tell him about it because i dont want him to think i'm insane...i still haven't told him about it either...he notices that im sad and asks me whats wrong...and he gets upset when i just stare off into space because i dont know how to answer...i dont know WHATS wrong all i know is that something IS...sorry for the post being so long...i just really needed to get it off my chest...can anyone help me with this??????????? It would be GREATLY appreciated.