help ! is it right to still feel like this?

Bethany - posted on 08/12/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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im 17 year old and have a 4 month old little girl who isnt with me right now she is in respite for a bit wile i do a course on paenting nand stuf when i had my litle girl i had very bad postntal depression and cud not cope now i am getting loads ov nasty comments saying your a bad mam and stuff but im onli 17 i didnt have support of anyone i dd it on my own i still feel like i have a bit ov postnatal depression when will it go?

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Jessica - posted on 09/04/2009

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you are not bad mom at all. you are making an effort and it sounds like you love your little one and are trying to do the best you can. i didnt have post natal depression but i have had depression before. it takes time. you are only 17 and trying to raise a little one. just make sure to find SOMEONE you can talk to and vent to

Toni - posted on 08/15/2009

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counselling is really great, I had general depression, not post-natal, i know they are different, but I talked to someone outside of my life and it helped so much, i felt free to really say whatever, and she helped me realise how to help myself. I also took meds, they helped too, but they arent for everyone, and maybe you dont need them. Your not a bad mom at all, you taking a course on parenting shows that, you want to learn, you want to be involved and you are trying, thats all anyone can ask of you. For the people who are giving nasty comments - tell them to get there noses out of your life. :):) you can do it :) take care.

Lisa - posted on 08/15/2009

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Hi Bethany, I have been in your shoes by the time I was 19 I had two babies. I didn't have PPD with them but I did with this one that is 6 months and its just now getting better and I'm on meds that just took the edge off. I congratulate you for having her that was the first right step. Your going to do just fine, no parent in perfect :O)

Bridget - posted on 08/14/2009

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Bethany, I am so sorry you are going through what you are. Please don't let it get to you. The fact that you know you are having a problem is proof that you are a good mom. I had and still have horrible depression, that only got worse after my first daughter was born. You may get lucky, and it might go away, but don't get upset if it doesn't. Postpardom depression isn't not something you can help. Just keep keep an eye on it. Call your dr. and let he/she know what is going on. See what they say is going to be best for you. I found out that there are some great depression meds on the $4 plan at certain pharmacies. More that anything, I have found, when I am feeling particularly bad, I grab my notebook and write down every feeling and thought I am having. By the time I am finished writing the feeling has passed, and I am able to read over my thoughts and think about them rationally.

Kristen - posted on 08/14/2009

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I was severely depressed after the birth of my child also. I felt as if I was a bad mother for not feeling the way everyone said I should. I was unable to take antidepressants because I can not have "depression" on my medical record however I spoke with many professionals and they suggested to start a hormonal contraceptive. Post partum is linked mostly to the overall stress and to imbalanced hormones. Birth control helped me tremendously! I was able to think clearly again and I was happy finally =) Before beginning anything talk to your doctor.

Jessoliver87 - posted on 08/14/2009

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I think that the fact that you are taking steps like going to parenting classes so you can help yourself out proves that you are not a bad mum! In order for you to be the best you can for your child, you need to do what you can thats the best for yourself and that is what you are doing. Those who are calling you are a bad mum probably have no idea what its like to be in your shoes. Good luck with everything, I hope everything works out for you :)

[deleted account]

Thanks for your honesty Bethany. As others have said, depression is a very real illness. I also felt REALLY OVERWHELMED after my daughter was born...and still do a lot because she's only 3 weeks old. Anyhow, I just wanted to suggest talking to a doctor and being open to medication...because depression is an illness that might be a huge help. I have taken medication for depression in the past, and it changed my life. I don't think post-partum depression would be any different...

Rebekah - posted on 08/13/2009

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As another mom said on here do your best to disregard those negative comments you have gotten. There are far to many people who, rather then reaching out and supporting someone in need, attack them. I think it's great that you are taking a parenting class. Having a child at a young age can be a very very difficult thing especially if you aren't receiving any support or help from others. I have help with my children but I still get overwhelmed at times. I think that just by taking the class you will better be able to handle the task of taking care of your daughter. It will teach ways to deal with the difficult times and also show that there is fun to be had with your little angel too. Depression can be a hard thing to overcome. Take it one day at a time. If you have any negative influences around you that are also bringing you down try to eliminate those things.A very important thing I was told is that you have to take care of yourself and get yourself in a happy state of mind to take care of your child. There are a lot of people out there who take a step back from their children temporarily to get themselves in a better place mentally. The ultimate goal is to do what is best for your child and that is what you are doing! Hang in there and know you aren't alone in what you are going through. Hugs!

Jodie - posted on 08/13/2009

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dont feel bad your not a bad mom and dont let others tell you any diff. postpartum depression is a very serious illness and you should talk to your doctor about it. some times it goes away by itself and sometimes you need medication, i felt like i had it after i had my fourth which was 2 months ago and im 26 and you just feel like crap, as if something is always wrong with you or the the baby or if your afraid of someone hurting him. just talk to to ppl that understand and maybe that will help, but sweetie dont let nobody tell you that your a bad mom like you said your only 17, it took me four kids to finally figure out how to be a mom cause with my first 2 i was no mom at all i still wanted to go out and have fun its hard but you do need support. so i hope everything goes well with you and keep your head up things will get better.

Fathima - posted on 08/13/2009

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For starters forget wat all those people are saying and concentrate on you and your baby. Nobody can know what you went through and as you said you are only 17! I am 30 and just had my first baby and I feel so overwhelmed I can only imagine what you must feel...It is very admirable that you are taking a parenting course. it shows that you are making an effort and are in fact a very good mum!...Just take it easy and take one day at a time and remember that the only thing that counts is your baby girl.....so don't stress too much and try to see the light at the end of the tunnel....

[deleted account]

I've not experienced it myself, but from what you've said you could be suffering from "ordinary" depression, never mind post-natal depression. It sounds like you're having a tough, stressful time. I don't know when the depression will lift - it's different for everyone. I think you should just hang on in there, take any help offered and be the best mum you can be. That's all any of us can do. Good luck x

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