HELP ME - before I die of sleep deprivation!!!

Lisa-Marie - posted on 05/23/2010 ( 38 moms have responded )

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My 9 month old boy still wakes up all night. He has never slept through. We have a set bed time routine and he is in bed at 7.30. He has 2 naps during the day - 9.30 til 10 and 1 til 2. He has a big dinner about 2 hours before bed and then a bottle of formula before he sleeps. He wakes up around 10.30 then 12.00 then 2.30 then 4.30 then is up about 6.30am.
He will not take a dummy and lately won't even take a bottle to get him self back to sleep. I have tried letting him cry (going in every 15 minutes and laying him back down) but that went on for 2 hours each time he woke - every night for 3 nights with no change.
He is teething but I give him teething gel and panadol and even though it works to get him back down faster he is still awake 2 hours later.
I have made sure he is comfortable (not hot, cold, I have elevated his bed, given him a blanket I use with my smell on it, make sure his nappy is not to wet/dirty, ect)
All I do at the moment is offer him a bottle and stand next to his cot rubbing is back while he tosses and turns and crys for 1/2 an hour or so til he falls back to sleep.
PLEASE HELP ME!!! I am so tired and I am due to have another baby in two months and I also have a four year old - I have no idea how I will be able to do it if he doesn't sleep better at night!
Thanks

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Krista - posted on 05/29/2010

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Sleep begets sleep, so I'll be the rebel here and will NOT recommend a later bedtime. 7:30 is a perfectly good bedtime for his age.

My guess is that he's actually OVERtired by the time he goes down to sleep, which messes him up for his nighttime sleep. That's why I think that putting him to bed later will actually make the problem worse, not better. From 2pm until 7:30 is a very long stretch of awake time for that age.

Is there any way you can get him to nap longer for that 9:30am nap? A half-hour is barely enough to be restorative, really. If you can get him to nap longer in the morning, then you can push his afternoon nap back, so that he's napping at 2 or 2:30 instead of at 1.

What is his room like when he naps or sleeps? His bed sounds fine, but what about sound or light? What's the situation there? Ideally, his room should be dim for naps, but dark for nighttime.

If he won't take a bottle, he's obviously not hungry, and is waking for some other reason.

My recommendations are this:

- Try to get him to nap a little longer in the morning.
- Try to push that afternoon nap back by an hour or more, so that he's napping until 3:30 or so.
- When you're giving him that last bottle of formula at night, keep the lights very low and voices soft, to cue him that it's nighttime.
- Keep his room quite dark -- no more than a night-light.
- Try a fan set on low, or a white noise machine.

I really, really hope this helps.

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Kathryn - posted on 01/24/2014

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You're not the only one! Does that help??
I too, have let him cry…but beyond 15 minutes of crying, he usually has a reason. He's either totally wet, teething and needs comfort, or hungry.
I find he sleeps longer with some solid food in his tummy and a good long nurse before bed. The rare and few times he's slept a long time (the longest being 6-7 hours) was after shots or, well, we're not sure why!
Even at 9 months old, he's still waking up 2-4 times a night. He's down around 7:30 and is up for the day around 6:30 (on average).

He naps twice a day (usually) for 1.5 hours around 9am and 2pm.
How have you been managing the sleep deprivation? My patience is shot, and so is my memory.
I'm taking out my frustrations on my husband, and now we're in therapy for poor communication and my outbursts when he deviates from our son's sleep/eating schedule.
He tends to amp the baby up right before bed, which can take me longer to wind him down (at least 2 hours). Agh.

Sleep deprivation has been just sapping me! I try to nap, but can't shut my brain off.

Good luck! I'm hoping he'll start sleeping longer stretches eventually. Keep us posted if you find a trick that works. I'm just glad to see i"m not the only one!

Ava - posted on 06/01/2010

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I know it seems a little cruel, but I've seen mothers simply force their children to skip those two daily naps for a day or two, which simply -makes- the baby sleep through the night, like it or not. Otherwise, my fiance and I used midnight strolls, car rides, and excessive play during the day to just tire her out. But we've never really had a problem. She's slept 8-10 hours a night since month 2.

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2010

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oops, just read some of the replies...congrats for finding what works for you :)

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2010

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I'm not too sure what to say, my little guy is kinda the same. goes to bed by 10, up at 2-3am, and up again, 5, and then 8. I have tried lots of different things. I am just crossing my fingers that he grows out of it. (maybe try one longer nap a day?) good luck with your little one :)

TASHA - posted on 06/01/2010

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my son is 5 months old and still waking up in the middle of the night as well. my husband takes him outside and they sit in the gazebo or our swing and usually he'll fall asleep within the hour. for the past few nights we had to do that and he's slept through the night. if that doesn't work then we pull out the big guns.. take him for a ride around the block until he's out.. it's been very peaceful for the past week! hope this works for you.

Krista - posted on 06/01/2010

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That's wonderful news! There will still be good nights and bad nights (especially during teething), but it sounds like you're on the right track for a better sleep routine for him!

Lisa-Marie - posted on 06/01/2010

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Thanks everyone. He is down to waking only 1 time a night for a bottle - which is fine by me :) At first I tried cutting back his naps and pushing back his bed time - didn't work at all!!! He was so upset and tired that he couldn't sleep and was up more often and really grumpy during the day. He still has his 1/2 hour power nap in the morning but I keep him playing til 2 and then he sleeps til 4.30. He still goes to bed at 7.30 and having that 2 and 1/2 hour sleep seems to have worked.
I have also put some noise in his room (thanks to all who suggested that as it was something I didn't think of)
PS - I am in Australia and here most people call a "pacifier" a dummy :)

Again - thanks to everyone :)
What worked was more sleep!!!!

Lynn - posted on 05/29/2010

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Try reading the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" My baby is 3 months and the advice for that age was right on. This book was recommended to me by a friend. I bought it used online for $6.

Nikki - posted on 05/29/2010

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have you tried a later bedtime, If my son falls asleep anytime before 9pm he will wake up again, but if he falls asleep after 9 he is out for the night and doesnt wake up til 9 in the morning. Your baby might be going through sleep regression its very common at 9 months, also if he is teething maybe try something else if he is constantly waking up after a few hours

Sarah - posted on 05/29/2010

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ok- I'm an old school mom but when my daughter tried this waking up fussing thing with me, i let her cry it out. i know a lot of people think this is a bad idea, but all of our parents did it to us and i for one don't feel abandoned!
all babies wake up a few times at night, just the good ones put themselves back to bed. it may sound mean, but if you know he's ok- leave him alone. having you there standing over him but not picking him up and doing what he wants only makes him more angry. that's how my zoe is- if i go in and she sees me, she think it's play time, if leave her alone, she goes right back to sleep. kids will push you as much as you will let them.

Deepti - posted on 05/28/2010

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Hi, I can understand how much difficult its getting day by day for you..I also had sleepless nights.....I am having a 13 months old girl.

C, first consult your Pedriatician tell him the problem, he might having problem with the teething process or any other pain etc. Ask for the diet plan, what all you should give, and you have to try different things, depend on his like and dislikes...If the stomach will be full, and before going to bed, he have milk, will not feel hungry in the night.

Set a bed time little late, make him play for more hours....let him take a nap in the whole day, but make him sleep late...Check if there any kind of noise it's going to scare him...should be peaceful.

When you make him sleep, Do play some soft very light music....low its volume, sing yourself also......

As, you also need rest, coz thats also very important, so all the best.

Kathy - posted on 05/27/2010

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he's overtired. if he wakes at 2pm he should be going to bed around 6pm at the latest.

also, at 9mos, many babies go through a huge sleep regression! but i suggest putting him to bed earlier which I'm pretty sure will reduce if not eliminate the night wakings.

Sherry - posted on 05/27/2010

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oh and a soothing "bedtime bath" from Johnsons helps wonders too.. the lavendar and camomile fragrance helps him sleep through the night. Sometimes I'll even spray his bumper with a lavendar and Vanilla "relax" linnen spray ( you can actually buy laundry soap with this frangrance as well) Knocks both my son and my hubbie out into a very very deep sleep all night.

Sherry - posted on 05/27/2010

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According to the literature that I have read, you should speak to your pediatrician. While the teething may be the problem, there could also be a REAL medical problem. Also, while not an instant fix, you might try stopping the naps and keeping him up later in the day. To start, try moving the first nap later in the day, and not moving the second. Then keep him up for (an other) a half hour later every other day or three. Your goal here is to try putting him to bed at 9pm, perhaps. Eventually, he should fall asleep and hopefully stay asleep for the night...(from Hubbie)

My suggestion would be very similar to my hubbies, try bumping up bedtime and allowing longer (2 hr) naps during the day after you've got a later bedtime set... so a nap in the AM, one in the afternoon and one (probably only about 1/2 hr to an hour) during the evening about 6 or 7). Something I've noticed with our son. If he doesn't get cuddle time with his bottle's he tends to be more irritable during the night and often wakes screaming and crying inconsolably. -- if you already do this then try cuddling even after he's drifted off to sleep for about 1/2 hr. He could simply need the closeness. My son tends to be in bed anytime between 8:30 and 11 some nights but he does sleep through the night

We hope this helps it could take as long as a week to set the routine but it may help in the long run.

Tina - posted on 05/27/2010

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My LO is now 13 months and I remember the 9 month no sleep stage all to well. But - it is a phase and I found that swaddling my LO helped...makes him stop all the arm flailing and he calms down much quicker....they are going through an amazing amount of brain development and they do play and practice what they've learned during the night...I do confess to the CIO method and it works wonders for me. I put him down and whisper all the same things to him every night...have a good sleep...mommy loves you etc...etc.....then I cover him up with his blanket, give him his pacifier (if he'll take it) and I walk out. I go back in 30 secs later if/when he's crying/fussing and lay him back down, put the blanket over him, give him the pacifier again, tell him to have a good sleep and walk out. Then I wait 1 mintue...same routine, go back in, blanket, pacifier, have a good sleep and leave. Then I wait, 2 mins....2.5 mins, and honestly usually I never get past 2 mins when he falls alseep. They get to realize that what they're doing isn't working and they go to sleep.

A proper bedtime routine helps..and I don't just mean putting them to sleep at the same time every night (although that is a must too).....but giving them a bath (if not every night then ever other night) and reading them a story.....go through the exact same routine every night before putting them to bed. Then they know and expect exactly whats coming. My LO can be running around the living room and when it's nap time I pick him up, tell him he's going for sleepy time.....take him up stairs, turn on the bathroom fan for "white noise" and he's usually rubbing his eyes and having droppy eyelids by this point. I wrap a blanket around him, give him a slittle snuggle for a min or two and then lay him in bed and leave. Same thing every time and he sleeps like a dream for about 2.5 hours for 1 big nap in the middle of the day. I also put my LO down to bed at about 8:30 and he usually sleeps till about 6:30.

Best of luck and stay strong!! We're all here for you!!

Nicole - posted on 05/27/2010

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I am so having the same trouble except I'm lucky enough to have twins not sleeping. My boys are 19 mths old & are lucky to have slept through a handful of times. I also have a 12yr old & a 6 yr old so I feel like by the time I finally do get to sleep I'm up getting them ready for school!! GRRR I also get so tired but have to keep going on as my husband works nightshift everynight so there's no one else.

My boys have regular dinner times, bathtimes & bedtimes but are just trying my patience some nights. I do feel for you & hope it gets better soon especially when your next bub comes. Good luck 7 let me know what works for you xx

Lisa - posted on 05/26/2010

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Hi Lisa, I'm having a similar problem, but with getting my daughter out of my bed. She's got sep-anxiety too. :( In your case though (this worked for my son, but not my daughter but it's worth a shot) ...try the Heartbeat Bear. Or white noise, like a classical cd or ocean waves playing. Teething tablets are also good. They are WAY better than the orajel. Check it out....

Emma - posted on 05/26/2010

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I really feel for you. My son is 11 months and I vividly remember his 9 month and lack of sleep. Its a phase. Brought on by milestone in brain developement. Their little brains are kicked into overdrive at this age because they are learning so many new things, and getting more stable on thier feet. Right now he doesn't want to sleep. MIne didn't either, and I co sleep with mine. But I'll be honest, it did get easier, and we still have some nights where he wakes up and I find/hear him playing. Just like yours, mine has yet to even come close to sleeping through the night, but compared to 2 months ago there has been a dramatic improvement. He's gone from waking 4 times a night, to twice night, except those nights he just wakes and doesn't want anything but a cuddle and some playtime. Which I wish he didn't do, but despite everything I do, it happens anyways.



My son is breastfed, but what I've been doing is increasing his dinner amount. He eats his casserole, followed by some custard/cereal cookie and some fruit. I mix it up sometimes with yogurt instead so he doesn't get stuck eating the same thing. I pick items with carbs, high protein etc so help fill him up and most nights he eats at least half a cereal cookie even with a full meal (about a full size jar of stage 3 foods). He used to be quite gassy, so I would give him some Oval drops with his meal and that way it would reduce any gas he was getting through the night. When he's teething its Teething tablets by Hylands and those really bad nights Motrin as well. From doing these steps with his meals it helped alot. After mealtime, its bath time with his lavender set, followed by a little rubdown of lavender lotion. Next is quiet playtime with a few toys. Then he nurses and goes to sleep at 8pm. He now wakes at 10:30 for a feeding, again at 3am, and then up at 6:30...normally. He has a 2 hour nap in the morning, and a 1 hour nap in the afternoon. Some days he switches those but the result is the same. If any of this helps you, I'm thankful. You are doing an amazing job!!!

Katherine - posted on 05/26/2010

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We did the same thing. At times you feel like they will never sleep.. I never wanted to do cry it out.. I thought she would cry longer than I was comfortable with. Are you putting baby down at bedtime asleep rather than having him fall asleep on his own - without you there to help. When mine was 11 months old I finally broke her, and she is like a new child now. It happened one night when i was frustrated with her and I told her a little sternly to lay down and go to sleep -- and to my surprise, she did. From that point, we transitioned for about a week, doing a short bedtime routine and putting her in bed awake, but not leaving her to cry.. checking, comforting, etc. Took steps forward but then steps back. So then I left her to cry at bedtime. And then you need to walk out. Close the door. You don't want them thinking you might return. I think the trick is learning it at bedtime -- in the middle of the night, they are too disoriented to learn it. The first night was, well, bad. Each successive night gets better. It was about 4 nights until it was much easier. But even the first night, once she went to sleep, she slept by herself. I really hate CIO but for so many people, it works. For us, I think we used it to break a bad habit. The hard part is telling the difference between crying because they just don't want to go to sleep and when they actually need something. Mine tended to dirty her diaper when she got totally pissed so I had to check on her more frequently -- but checking on them is *much* harder on them than just leaving them alone, if they just don't "want" to sleep. (Sorry for the long response, but I totally feel your pain...)

Jamie - posted on 05/26/2010

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Like everyone said try keeping baby up later and also try a nice warm bath before bedtime!

Toni - posted on 05/26/2010

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My son was like this until he was about 8 months. I couldnt handle it, i slept like an hour & a half a day, broken up into 2 naps, not kidding. I was so emotional from sleep deprevation. I tryed everything, but all he wanted was to lay with me, so i gave in. but at 9 months i made him learn to sleep on his own, I found a little 13" t.v at goodwill & put it on his shelf & turned on a video very quietly, he would fall asleep & if he woke up the music from the video soothed him back to sleep. a few months later he didn't need it anymore, now he goes to bed when its bed time. Also putting some snacks,( like the disolveable treats) on his night stand so he can just pop 1 in his mouth mite help.A nurse gave us that tip.& It helped us. He'd just eat a few & it would distract him & he'd fall asleep. This is all to distract them, they are tired, but they resist the sleep, because they want to be near you. Hope this helped! you need your sleep.

Pallavi - posted on 05/26/2010

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Hi Lisa, I would suggest to put him to bed early. 2 pm to 7:30 pm is a wake time (WT) of 5.5 hours. A typical 9 month old can handle 3 to 4 hours of WT. I suggest putting him to bed at 5:00- 5:30 pm couple of days and try. He will improve with earlier bedtimes. Some good Books to read is Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby by Weissbulth. Email me his logs for 72 hours so that I can help you.

Paula - posted on 05/26/2010

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My 8 and 1/2 month old follows a similar pattern, waking for feeds/comfort every 2 hrs or so. He has been slightly worse (ie more often) the last few weeks as he has been teething and I think going through some developmental stage. He has definitely been more clingy and wants his Mama more. I don't mind indulging him temporarily........I also allow him to fall asleep in my arms for the moment, as I don't want to spend half my evening trying to put him in his crib. I'm hoping he will grow out of this soon! Fingers crossed, eh.

PEGGY - posted on 05/25/2010

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i would try a later bed time and try putting them in the same room my kids sleep in the same room with each other for right now because there scared of the dark you can also try a night light to but i would NOT recommend putting the child in your bed my 4yrold is just now sleeping in her bed because her 2yrold brother has to sleep with her in the same room so she stays in her bed i would try a 830/900 bedtime good luck and i hope something will work for you

Jerricka - posted on 05/25/2010

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My 9 month old doesnt sleep thru the night hardly every. This past wk has been horrible been waking up almost every hour to two hrs on the dot and he even has a later bedtime of 930/10...

Catherine - posted on 05/25/2010

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I would try a later bed time. My 8 month almost 9 month goes to bed at 10. He will sometimes wake once in the middle of night. But I feed him and he goes back to sleep. Also try the all natural teething tablets (walmart carries them).. You can put them in his bottle or rub them on his gums.

Kathy - posted on 05/24/2010

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I think everyone has their own word for it... we call it a sucky, my brothers fiance calls it a soosoo.

Lisa-Marie have you ever tried a later bedtime? Our 8 month old sleeps through most nights but she goes to bed 8:30-9:00, sometimes later if we get home later than normal. Usually that gets us till 7:30-8am

Tiffany - posted on 05/24/2010

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no problem shannon lol im still working on a lot of things ppl say on here that i have no idea what they mean lol such as dd,blowing rasberries etc

Christina - posted on 05/24/2010

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Have you tried letting him sleep in the same room as the four year old? He might just be scared to be alone, so that could help. When we bring our three kids on vacation or to Grandma's my 2 year old HAS to sleep in the same room as his sisters or he'll throw a fit.

Since he isn't hungry, the crying is probably from loneliness. You could also try leaving a radio on for him, since some babies hate the quietness at night. Also, you may have to just come to his crib when he cries, tell him in a matter of fact way that everything is fine, and then leave. It will be bad the first couple nights, and you'll have to keep going back in over and over, but soon he'll realize it's not getting him anywhere and he'll stop. (but I would try putting him with the four year old first, because you might not have any struggle at all) Sounds mean, but he knows you're there for him. Like you said, you NEED sleep. What kid wants to have a tired, grumpy Mommy all day? Also, from the schedule you gave, it looks like he probably is somewhat sleep deprived himself. At his age, babies naps are usually longer. You could maybe try to lose the morning nap and go to one longer nap a day. Strangely, the better he sleeps during the day, the better he'll sleep at night. My first daughter was the same way. She didn't like to nap, and was CRABBY at night. I had to put her in her swing for her naps, or she just wouldn't sleep. Whatever works!

Good luck!!

Shannon - posted on 05/24/2010

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thanks tiffany I have never heard them called that before I wonder if its regional thing like here they are called binkies crazy how there are so many words for one thing :)

SARAH - posted on 05/24/2010

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i would try keeping him awake longer at night time. just for the time being. after his night feed and formula, dont put him to sleep, let him play for a while longer and even give him a top-up feed when he starts to get really tired again. then try putting him to bed.

Tiffany - posted on 05/24/2010

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a dummy is a pacifier i just figured that out myself last week lol glad im not the only one not to know what that is lol

Shannon - posted on 05/24/2010

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ok sophie i probably am going to sound like an idiot but whats a "dummy" ?

Shannon - posted on 05/24/2010

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hey honey I really really feel for you the one thing that really really helped my daughter was enfamil restful...i mean its something you could try...i will be praying for you because I don't know how you do it...must be super woman or something...:)

Angie - posted on 05/24/2010

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9 months is a really hard age. He could be going through separation anxiety, like you said teething, also when they hit a milestone that will generally interfere with sleep. He could be going through all 3 things. Have you thought about bringing him into bed with you? At least momentarily? Also you mentioned another baby on the way. Little ones are smarter than we give them credit for so he may be sensing the change is coming.

My kids did fall asleep in the car like the other poster mentioned but the problem with that is they never stayed asleep after we got them out. Also rice cereal in the bottle is very much frowned up on. It is an aspiration hazard and should only be used if the baby has reflux and the dr has recommended it.

Lisa-Marie - posted on 05/24/2010

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Thanks Sofie for your ideas. I have no problems at all getting him to go to sleep at 7.30 but it is just keeping him asleep that I am having a problem with.
He is not waking up because he is hungry as he refuses the bottle.
If I pick him up it takes longer to get him back down.
But I am happy to hear that those things are working for you and again thanks :)

Sofie - posted on 05/24/2010

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I know this sounds nuts and really annoying but alot of people with the same problem as you usually put their baby in the carseat and the vibrations send them to sleep after a while. As I can't drive, I sometimes take him for a walk on a bumpy path in his buggy and cover him up in the pram so he cant see out.

The best one for me is my baby rocker, i sit him in that put his dummy in, put a muslin square around his mouth to hold it in cos he can't latch on yet, obviously not too hard he needs to be able to move, and another just rested on his face. He loves the comfort and within 10 mins, half an hour max of rocking, he is asleep. When he has fallen asleep I just pull it down from his face and he uses it as a blanket as its so hot now.



I've only been doing that for less then a week but it is a godsend seriously. Also I give him baby rice in his bottle before bed and he sleeps for eight hours, five at the least. He used to sleep for two maybe four like your little one. When I was breastfeeding it was every half an hour, so I would recommened that you try my crazy idea :)



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