Help with Bedtime

Jeanne - posted on 07/19/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I have been implementing a bedtime routine since week two with my baby. I am now on week 11 and I still can't get her to go down and stay down! I give her a bath then feed then read a story! She might fall asleep for an hour or so and then starts crying! I will go in and comfort her but I ended doing this same routine for three hours! The books make it seem so easy! Need some advice!

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Tamra - posted on 07/24/2012

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Dump the books. Every baby is different. All the books do is stress you out and make you feel like the worst parent in the world.



Some kids sleep through the night from the very beginning, others not until they're much older; toddlers even. That doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, it's just how that particular child is.



Just like some kids walk at 9 months and others at 18 months, both are ok. But when your getting the "Wow! your daughter's not walking yet? Mine was walking at 3 months and talking in full sentences at 6...and just wrote her first autobiography at a year..." from friends and family why make it harder and more stressful on yourself by adding in the stress of the in a perfect world parenting books?



Just enjoy your baby, and I promise it'll get easier. Trust yourself.

Emily - posted on 07/23/2012

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Here's my advice: CHUCK ALL THE BOOKS. They are mostly crap, IMO. People write these books and make tons of money because parents are desperate. Follow your own heart, not what some book says. Babies are not little robots.. they're little humans with complex biological and emotional needs. The best thing I ever did was to say "eff it" and just hold my baby more and co-sleep. After trying to do what the "books" say with my first, things went so much easier with my second 'cause I just kept her with me and followed HER cues. She is so much of a better sleeper than her brother, I'm assuming because I didn't try to force her into some mold of how babies are *supposed* to sleep. If you want a better book with a more realistic view on how baby sleep and behavior develops, try "The Continuum Concept" or "Our Babies, Ourselves."

Jamie - posted on 08/03/2012

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I agree with the moms who say to dump the books. Its a bunch of bullshit. You're baby will have YOU on a schedule until he or she is ready to sleep. My best advice is that babies who are well rested throughout the day sleep better at night. Don't try to make your baby stay awake until 8:00 thinking he/she will sleep better. It doesn't work that way. If your baby wants to go to sleep at 7:00 let him. If he wakes up at 8:00 just feed/change and put right back to bed.

Elfrieda - posted on 07/23/2012

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Wow, what kind of books are you guys reading? All the books I read stressed me out the other way, telling me never to expect my child to sleep on a schedule, telling me I had to carry him constantly/cosleep/breastfeed on demand or else he'd grow up feeling unloved and emotionally damaged. But anyway, I think the idea of watching your baby and your family for cues on how to parent instead of relying on a book is the best way.

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Amber - posted on 08/30/2012

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My baby is 3 mo. And sleeps very well through the night. Every baby is different. She sleeps 8 to 11 hours every night religiously and is on a schedule. She does still sleep in our room. When she does wake in the night, try keeping all lights off, avoiding eye contact, and avoid talking to them. That may be hard with the child in the other room bc they have time to work themselves up and tend to be wide awake by the time you can feed/change them. I can get her back to sleep without any fuss as long as I do those things.



Does your baby eat formula or breast feed?

Deidra - posted on 08/30/2012

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I never used a book so I don't know exactly what they will tell you but every baby is different and will have a different routine. Also what works one night might not work the next. Also any little thing will throw her off of her normal routine. try different things until you find one that works for you and your baby. my daughter is 13 months old and our routine (although she goes to bed at 10 pm, she sleeps better that way) is supper, bath, play, clean up, snack, books, cuddle time, brush teeth, then bed. We have done this since she was about 7 or 8 months. Until 7 or 8 months i went with what she felt if she was tired I let her rest etc. Since we got on that routine I have no problems with fussing or throwing fits at bed time she goes right to sleep after drinking her milk. As your baby gets older little things like a cold, something happening where you need to be out late (a family member being sick etc) can throw off her schedule. I have to put my daughter down around 10 or she's up at 3 am...and i'm not an early morning person. Putting her to bed at 10 she doesn't get up till 7am. Try all kinds of things see which one works best for your daughter and you. but don't be disappointed when it doesn't work as planned. Good luck

Amanda - posted on 08/11/2012

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My baby boy is 24 weeks today and he's just now really developing a good steady routine. A baby is still developing at 11 weeks and is considered (by Dr. Karp "The Happiest Baby on the Block") to actually be in what he calls the "4th trimester."

Do you swaddle? I did with my last 2 children, with my first I did not and I had a much harder time with night time sleeping. Also, I noticed with this child that he would wake after every sleep cycle and after learning the difference between his "I need you" cry and "I want to go back to sleep" cry I could take my queue as to when he needed me and when he was just fussing himself back to sleep basically. She will get the idea of the routine, but for now she's still learning what all the different feelings she has are and basically what being human is. Give her time, it will get easier for both of you. Good luck.

Brandy - posted on 08/10/2012

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Some people have different advice on the issue, but have you tried letting her cry a bit? to see if she falls back asleep? I never did and my daughter didn't sleep through the night untill she was 11 months old!!!! (umm yeah dropped the ball on that one folks... almost a full year of disrupted sleep schedule! not fun) as far as i can't tell I haven't screwed her up to bad LOL ( you know that whole self soothing thing) but I really wish I would have just let her try to settle on her own. I think the first years was hard enough... i coulda did without the sleep deprivation.

Rene - posted on 07/30/2012

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I used to wake my daughter at 9pm each night and change and feed her because I had to work the next day = due to owning my own business I went back to work part time when she was two weeks old. And I missed her so it was our (my husband and mine) play time with her. Awesome times. By the time my third child was eight he didn't want to read before bed with me anymore so maybe you should start bedtime later so you enjoy it rather than work so hard at bedtime that it becomes a bore because it is such a lovely time of the day :-)

Julie - posted on 07/21/2012

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How old is your baby? Babies don't sleep through the night until four to six months or more. And routines don't get established until they are over a year. My kids change every six months and we have to re-establish all over again. As soon as you add something new, like potty training or a big kid bed it starts all over. I have a two year old night crawler at my house. She gets up and plays for an hour in her room after we put her to bed while my son finally will sleep without having to be tucked in on all sides and his head covered. Every time he moved he'd uncover his head and we'd have to go back in and cover him up again. Someone told him "don't let the bedbugs bite" Thank goodness that's over with. Have fun.

Jeanne - posted on 07/19/2012

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Thank you sooo much! That makes me feel better, these books are making me feel horrible! She is only 11 weeks and she has been sleeping in her own room now for about 4 weeks. Tonight I pushed her bedtime back an hour (8pm) and that worked really well.

Elfrieda - posted on 07/19/2012

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So she's only 13 weeks old? That's way too young to expect her to follow a routine. If it's easy for you, keep doing it so it's normal and she takes to it when she's older, but for now try not to stress about it. Life will get easier as she gets older, try not to make it harder than it has to be by following too much advice from books. :)

Jessica - posted on 07/19/2012

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From my experience, that seems like too young of a baby to expect results from a bedtime routine. A lot of babies don't sleep through the night at that age. Just stick with your routine and baby will catch on. You don't have the baby in the room withyou? That makes it toughwhen you have to keep getting up.

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