Hi im 4 weeks pregnant and im scared out of my mind 2 giving birth this is my first child and I was wondering if anyone can explain to me how bad it hurts when you rip and how you feel during labor and after you give birth

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[deleted account]

I don't think the pain can be described, it's going to be different for different people. It's an amazing experience and worrying isn't going to make ithurt any less. Try not to stress about it, otherwise you may be more nervous at the thought of giving birth rather than the birth it's self xx

Laura - posted on 08/29/2012

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A csections isn't an easy option as some may think, ur in pain for weeks sometimes months after and 1 of my sections got infected and started opening, I have nerve damage and can't feel below my belly button to the top of my pubic bone. At least a natural birth us hopefully get over quicker if u don't tear too much or even at all.

Amanda - posted on 08/26/2012

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Congrats on your pregnancy, i have had two very quiet labours and have found that when in labour i tend to go inward and lose the ability to speak (much to my husbands delight). What this has taught me is there is no right way to labour and if standing on your head singing abba reduces the pain then do that. Books and information are great as they some what prepare you for what is to come, but listen to your body it will tell you what you need to feel strong and safe.

Barbara - posted on 08/03/2012

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My mom always told me that birth is not what it's like in the movies, and that it isn't that bad. She said it was like getting the stomach flu, just something that is hard but your body just goes ahead and does it itself. I have a suspicion that most of the pain that women associate with birth comes from EXPECTING it to be painful, if that makes any sense. Because I didn't expect that thanks to my mom, I've had two great deliveries with no epidural. It wasn't that I was refusing to allow myself to have one in spite of horrible pain, I really never thought I needed it. It wasn't a walk in the park, but it wasn't that bad. I know that's impolite to say in some circles, but some people need to say it, especially to women who are going to deliver for the first time. The more you can practice getting yourself to be really relaxed, the better. I think that's the key. If you tense, it hurts more. I remember the first few big contractions I was tense and I felt like if I relaxed it would be worse, but I was wrong. It felt much better the more relaxed I got. And pushing felt great! It's just what you need after all those contractions. And if you are worried about tearing, don't get an epidural. You can stop yourself or slow down before you tear if you can feel it. Educate yourself, get some varied opinions, practice relaxing, and try not to worry! You can do this.

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Jessica - posted on 09/12/2012

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well congrats, i was 15 years old when i had my first baby. so if your around my age we can probably relate. my son is about 2 be 5 in december and im 12 weeks pregnant today. my water broke on it own which is so much better than having to be induced. i went into labor around 10ish on decemeber 28th while i was playing guitar hero lol :) when ur water breaks its not too much longer before your contractions start to kick in. at first they start off as like lightly mild menstrual cramps,tolarable so it doesnt start off too bad. i got to the hospital around 11 because i didnt have my bags packed because he was coming 2 weeks early (which isnt a big deal). by the time i got to the hospital i was already 2 cm dialted. as your labor pregresses im not gonna lie to you its painful. i had my son natural no pain meds and no epidural, but i was also only in labor 5 hours, the longest 5 hours of my life. as far as ripping goes, if the dr. see's your going to rip he will cut you because if you rip it will be painful. i had to get cut and then sewed up afterwards and it takes about 2 weeks to heal but they now do disolvable stiches but i do recommend you take it easy if you do have to get stiches. i hope this helps

Amy - posted on 09/11/2012

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If you're afraid of the pain, get an epidural. Can't really give you much more advise than that. I have had 5 kids and with my first I swore I wouldn't have drugs. Ha Ha. By the time I decided to get the epidural because I couldn't take the pain anymore I didn't even care what the risks were. The doctor was trying to read them to me and I just said I don't care let me sign it. I had one with every one of my kids. I had to have an episiotomy, which is where the cut you so you don't rip. I had that with my first and I tore on that scar a tiny bit with my second but not at all with my others. I would say everyone's pain threshold is different. I thought I could handle more than I could my first time but I was also only 16. The only time I really felt pain besides my first was with my last one because they couldn't give me an epidural until I was dilated enough so I had to tough it out for a bit. My others were planned inductions and I was already dilated enough to get an epidural before I started feeling the pain.

STEPHANIE - posted on 09/10/2012

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The contractions can get pretty intense, but if you've had really bad cramps before then you should be good. It helps to have some kind of support system. Even if your support person doesn't talk, them holding your hand helps. I really didn't feel any pain other than the contractions because I asked for an epidural. Once they give you that it is pretty much waiting around till it is time to push. I asked for them to give me just enough for it to die down when it was time to push. The epidural can numb your need to push, so I wanted to be able to feel that need. I ripped a little, but they give you a numbing shot and stitch it up. Your va-jay-jay will be in such shock that a little rip will be nothing. Afterwards I felt tired, so I had my husband bond with the baby while I rested. They may give your stole stoftners so you won't have to strain and possibly rip again. I didn't use them though. Overall I didn't feel that bad, but if you are planning on going natural then that it another story. I hope this helps!

STEPHANIE - posted on 09/10/2012

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The contractions can get pretty intense, but if you've had really bad cramps before then you should be good. It helps to have some kind of support system. Even if your support person doesn't talk, them holding your hand helps. I really didn't feel any pain other than the contractions because I asked for an epidural. Once they give you that it is pretty much waiting around till it is time to push. I asked for them to give me just enough for it to die down when it was time to push. The epidural can numb your need to push, so I wanted to be able to feel that need. I ripped a little, but they give you a numbing shot and stitch it up. Your va-jay-jay will be in such shock that a little rip will be nothing. Afterwards I felt tired, so I had my husband bond with the baby while I rested. They may give your stole stoftners so you won't have to strain and possibly rip again. I didn't use them though. Overall I didn't feel that bad, but if you are planning on going natural then that it another story. I hope this helps!

Chelsea - posted on 09/04/2012

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i just gave birth on august 7th I'd say it more depends on if you go natural or not. I decided not to go natural so when it came time to push i just felt a great amount of pressure, as for tearing some doctors will cut you so that it's less painful and so you heal faster when its all said and done.

Johnna - posted on 09/01/2012

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I was the same way! I was so afraid, that I basically had myself convinced that I wanted a c-section.. I had it in my head that it was gonna be so painful and there would be so much tearing, and that there would be no coming back from that, hah. All I can say is do some research about childbirth and your options. (A great site to use is www.thebump.com) That's what I did, and it made me feel 1000x better about delivery. I gave birth to my son 7/10/12. I was in labor for 13hrs, my water began "leaking" out at 2:30am (I was expecting the dramatic dam breaking gush of fluid, but that never happened), and I didn't really think I was in labor until about 7am, when the contractions began feeling more like contractions and less like a cramp. By 3:30pm, I was holding my son in my arms. I had done my homework and checked out all the pain meds, but the side effects had discouraged me from taking anything. I didn't have an epidural or even tylenol, hah. I didn't think it was all that bad. Honestly, I thought the contractions where the worst part. By the time you get ready to push, your body has basically numbed your downstairs. You still feel pain, but there is so much going on, and you are so pumped to see your baby, that it is the least of your worries. I was also very active during my pregnancy, working up until 6 days before I delivered, so I think that REALLY helped. As for tearing, make sure you have the episiotomy discussion with your doctor. This is basically a planned incision, where they numb the area before they make a small incision between the vagina and anus, which usually stops any major tearing, then they stitch you up after delivery. I would encourage this talk, and make it immensely clear that you want an episiotomy before giving any chance of tearing. I personally didn't need an episiotomy, but I made it clear that even if there was a slight chance of tearing, that they better cut me! I still had minor tearing, but it was inside and there is nothing they can really do about that, I had a few stitches, and within a week they had healed and the stitches fell out. After you give birth is when the honeymoon period is over.. They will give you ice packs, tucks pads (little pads with soothing witch hazel), and this magical spray that helps ALOT with the pain. These three things will become your bff for a few weeks and make sure you snag extras from the hospital before you go home. It's all uncomfortable, but before you know it, you'll be home, healed, and enjoying your little one! :)

Laura - posted on 08/31/2012

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Not going to lie, it is rough. I have had 3 kids and pregnant with my forth. I have had an epidural for each one and LOVED IT! But sadly for me, it wore off by the time I delivered on two of my pregnancies.



I have torn for all three, and honestly I didn't even know. It's not like you can pinpoint that particular pain since there's so much going on.



It is true though, once that baby comes out, the physical pressure of a baby working it's way out of you is gone and that is sweet SWEET relief, and you have this beautiful little babe to distract you from any thing else. One piece of advice my mom gave me, and I used and it helped, was 'don't cry'. It sounds harsh but if you break down and start crying you can loose control. You need to stay focused and power through. At the end you'll seriously feel invincible, like you can concur the world! I mean, seriously, you just made a person and gave birth to it!!! That's no easy task! Good luck and congratulations!

Ania - posted on 08/31/2012

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It doesn't hurt. I had two births without pain

Meds. If you relax throughout contraction to the point where every muscle is relaxed than you're fine. When head comes out there is a lot of pressure and pain but that lasts a minute

Ania - posted on 08/31/2012

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It doesn't hurt. I had two births without pain

Meds. If you relax throughout contraction to the point where every muscle is relaxed than you're fine. When head comes out there is a lot of pressure and pain but that lasts a minute

Laura - posted on 08/29/2012

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Also my first son was 2 weeks early and 6lbs6 my daughter was 2 weeks early and 6lbs my 3rd was 3 weeks early and 5lbs 11 and my last was 8 weeks early but a good size at 5lbs. I always thought I'd know when I was in labour butting my eldest being my first born I had no idea until I was having contractions even 3mins and like I said above that was the shortet labour at 15hrs. Ur body will tell u what to do but I haven't had a natural birth so don't know what giving birth viginally is like.

Laura - posted on 08/29/2012

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Hi, I too was petrified of giving birth as I guess most mums are, however I ended up having a csections with all 4 of my kids as I don't dilate when in labour. Everyones experience is different. My first labour was 15 hours, then 19 hours then 24 hours and my last son was 5 days but had complications. Contractions r damn painful and my pain barrier is high" no one can prepare u for labour but once u have had ur baby u forget the pain and enjoy ur baby. Good luck.

Paula - posted on 08/29/2012

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Labor contractions for me felt like bad period cramps....(in my opinion Migraines are worse)



The actual delivery part is painful but not unbearable. It is relatively quick and feels like a burning sensation. I didn't tear or get cut so I don't know about that part.



To me the worst part of the having a baby is the first couple weeks afterwards...

bleeding, pads, no sex, and a jelly belly. haha

M - posted on 08/29/2012

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Like the earlier poster, my mom kept telling me how easy it was, and I wasn't nervous. For me, last few centimeters really hurt. but 2minutes pain free 1 minute of rising falling pain. I have had episiotomy, and a tear. never felt the tear. felt the needle stick to numb me for episiotomy. no tear with biggest baby! pushing does burn, but touch the baby's head while pushing, and you will be SO psyched! Enjoy!

Tinker1987 - posted on 08/28/2012

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My labor was easy.i had period like cramps the whole time. went to the hospital at 5cm dialted and had a drug free labor and delivery,12 hours of labor total.6 of it i wasnt even aware i was in labor it was so easy. My delivery how ever sucked i pushed until i was purple, baby was stuck,and i tore 4th degree, Vaccum suctioning and a Episiotomy. I honestly didnt even feel anything when i tore,or even when i "crowned" the nurse said to prepare for pain but i didnt feel anything. i must just have a high pain tolerance. the only thing that bothered me was getting stitches.

Laura - posted on 08/25/2012

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Thats a very open ended question...you are gonna get so many different stories your brain is going to go into overload. I know its scary when its your first and you don't know what to expect or how to feel, When i was pregnant with my first I was 24 and I was terrified, scared, I felt like my life was going to change and I didn't want it to. I never planned on getting pregnant but after a while I was excited about it, but everything leading up to the birth was very scary for me I gained almost 40 pounds, I ate almost everything insight, I cried a lot, I felt so many emotions but thats all apart of being pregnant. Now when it came to the labour I felt more prepared because I had taken several prenatal classes for first time parents, I had a good support team I had my mom, my husband, my friends. I had a wonderful doctor who was always there for me. Being that this is your first time I know your more curious about the giving birth part. I was in labour for 18 hours and I had an all natural birth I never had an epidural I just went through the motions. I did tear I had one small tear that they sow up after you have given birth and I never felt it tear and I never felt them sow it up sometimes they make a small cut anyways just so you don't tear but you don't feel it. Right before she came out I could feel this intense pressure as her head was coming out and it felt like my vagina was on fire it hurt so much I felt like I couldnt push anymore, but I did and when she came out of me it was a wonderful feeling she weighed 10 pounds and 5 oz and she is now almost 4 years old and I am expecting my 2nd child and I feel more prepared now because I know what to expect giving birth to a child is a wonderful experience and although it is scary and you don't know what to expect its all worth it in the end to feel that tiny little finger wrap around your hand. its amazing and you will be fine you can do this. trust in yourself and have a good support team never be afarid to ask a question to your doctor.

[deleted account]

Okay, everyone exaggerates it. I went into labor terrified, but bound and determined to go natural. I was so afraid I was going to rip, or give in and take the meds, or that something was going to go wrong. It starts with a slight cramping, kind of like that annoying cramping you get after a papsmear when they scrape your innerds. Then it slowly progresses. Every few minutes you'll get that annoying cramping - sometimes, you won't even notice it. Then after about an hour, you notice it's a little worse, and it's a little harder not to notice it - kind of like the cramps you get when you're on your period. Then another hour goes by, and it's the same kind of pain, and more time goes by, and it's like that horrible gassy feeling that makes you stop for a second. After many hours - sometimes 5, sometimes 20 (for me, it was about 24 hours) the "cramps" aren't really cramps anymore - they're real pain. For about five minutes every two to three minutes, you can't speak through the pain. It radiates from your tummy, and it totally sucks. If I had to describe this pain, I'd describe it as a serious pressure in your lower body, like your worst menstrual cramps EVER and the worst gas you've had EVER combined, and it comes for a few minutes and leaves for a few minutes (so you get a break). At this point, though, you're know you're on the downward slope, and the baby is coming soon. This part can last two hours or 36 hours, it just depends (for me, it was about 12 hours or so til my munchkin was born). When the baby is coming out, it hurts the worst, because now it hurts in your tummy AND in your girly parts. Your OB will help your body parts form to the baby to prevent ripping, and if you start to rip more than a centimeter or so (which you don't even notice) she/he'll cut you a tiny bit to relieve the pressure (again, you won't feel it, seriously). The baby's shoulders are harder than the head in my opinion, but the whole pushing part can take an hour or 5 (in my case, I was only actually pushing for an hour).



By the time you feel like you can't take it anymore, you're actually pretty much done. And there are a lot of things you can do to prevent the pain from seeming so horrible. I picked on my hubby ;p I would breathe in the pattern I learned at prenatal classes (the deeper your voice, the more it helps) and I would change it on him to make him stutter ;p it made me giggle and helped distract me a little. I also breathed deep, slow breaths and tried to hum deeply on the exhale like I was taught. I moved my leg back and forth to a rhythm and tried to keep the time 1-pause-2-pause-3. I tried to focus on relaxing my lower body muscles, which was probably the hardest thing to do O.o



Before my water broke, I took walks up and down the halls, and up and down the stairs. This helps with contractions, and it helps the baby come faster. I also drank a TON of water, which helps too. I wrote in my baby book, trying to record the experiences for my munchkin in case I forget by the time she's old enough to tell - even recording the times of contractions on a chart (great distraction). I planned things with the hubby about types of diapers we'd buy, and the nursery. I checked and double checked the diaper bag, and my overnight bag. Basically - I made a point of distracting myself. It helped the time go by, and all that walking and focusing helped the final portion of labor go by faster!



Everyone is different, but there are some things that are always the same - it does hurt, but it isn't impossible to survive, or even to go natural. There are things you can do, like yoga and breathing, that help the labor go faster and smoother, and in the end you have a beautiful baby!!!! I want TONS more, and my two year old should have lots of company very soon ;D

Sarah - posted on 08/20/2012

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hay well iam pregnant with my second child i am going to scare u but u got to expect anything to happen. i was in labor for 72 hours and had to have 2 sticks. it depends on yourself and how you handle pain. its true what people say you do forget the pain after. don't worry yourself over it. its not that bad

[deleted account]

Everyone is different and I definitely understand your fear. I had given birth four times already and when I was pregnant with my fifth, for some reason I let the fear get ahold of me and about flipped out lol. I called my doctor and begged her to give me a C-Section (which is absolutely crazy because that is something I never, ever wanted to go through.) Needless to say, she calmed me down and we made it through a natural birth. If I can offer any suggestions it is to change what you are focusing on about your pregnancy. Try to be in the best health you can come delivery time, and that doesn't only mean physically, but mentally as well. If you focus on the negative, you are inviting the negative to come. I hope this makes sense. For me, I will spend the remainder of my pregnancy focusing on how wonderful and positive my pregnancy and delivery is/will be. When I am in pain or not feeling well, I do what I can to get comfortable and alleviate the discomfort. Listen to soothing music (Ocean & Seagull sounds are wonderful), meditate, burn candles that smell good (as long as it doesn't make you sick, etc...), take up hobbies, etc. and read up on the progress of your baby as he/she grows each day. It is a blessing to be pregnant and to be a mother. Embrace it with all of the joy that you can and radiate that love and happiness to your baby. If you are stressed, that is transmitted to the baby and that is not good for either of you. Do what you can to relax and trust that everything will be fine. If you can, walk a lot and do stretching/exercises. There is a lot of information on the internet about that. Relax, take a deep breath and tell yourself everything is going to be fine. Millions of women have given birth, many more than once, and they are just fine. I'm sure you will be as well. Oh, and the counting to 10 while taking deep breaths in and out really does work when you feel stressed. I would suggest looking into cleaning your chakras each day (Visualization/Meditation exercise) as well. It is very easy to do and has made a HUGE difference for me. If you would like more info about that, please let me know.

Sarah - posted on 08/17/2012

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Oh, I should say I delivered at 38 weeks both times. My first son was 7 pounds 9 ounces and my second son was 8 pounds 7 ounces.

I had a friend who naturally delivered an almost 10 pound baby at home. And she is a tiny, petite woman! But she said it really wasn't that painful.

So don't be scared! Just prepare yourself and educate yourself so you know what is happening to your body! When you know what your'e feeling and why it makes it less scary.

Sarah - posted on 08/17/2012

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Hi Aaliyah, first of all...congratulations! I have 2 sons. I have given birth naturally twice the last time being in March. It does hurt...not gonna lie. But it is not that bad. It feels like very bad menstrual cramps in the beginning. Then it progresses to a bad stomach ache. I felt my abdomen tightening during each contraction. Then the contractions get longer and come closer together. The key is to not fight them. They are doing something. So it is important to relax and let your uterus work. This will actually decrease your pain.

When you start pushing it isn't painful. I always thought that a big baby coming out of a little vagina is what hurts, but that isn't true I found out. For me, the contractions are what hurt and the actual pushing felt great! I had so much pressure building inside me that pushing brought immense relief. It reminds me of like when you have to have a bowel movement and when you finally get into the bathroom and can go...that sense of relief. That is what birth is like. There is pressure internally and also the baby is pushing down on your rectum so you feel all the same sensations and pushing feels great.

You will hear moms talk about the "ring of fire". I felt it both times and it does not hurt. At all. There is so much more going on you will barely notice. The sensation of feeling your baby come out of you is indescribable. The most amazing experience ever. And if you don't have an epidural you will not be numb. You can get up and walk around. After this last birth in March I felt fantastic. The moment I delivered I felt like jumping. I immediately was allowed to get up and walk around (after placenta was delivered and they checked me to make sure I wasn't bleeding badly).

I did tear both times. I tore a lot the first time and tore only a little bit this time. I didn't feel it and didn't know I tore till the doctors told me. The only thing that sucked about that was as the tears began to heal they itched a little. But after a week or two I was fine.

It is important to have a good support person with you during labor. I had my husband and mom with me the first time and honestly, my husband was worthless. I just wanted my mom. I wanted my mom again this last time but she had to drive over an hour and my labor went so quick she missed it. And again...my husband was worthless. lol.

Again, congrats on your new baby and don't be scared! We women are designed to do this and we are strong and capable! You will do great and will count that sweet day among the most precious of your life!

Faith - posted on 08/16/2012

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I gave birth vaginally when I was induced early at 38 weeks. I had no medication, pain killers, or epidural. It was completely natural. They induced by putting a pill behind my cervix. The early labor contractions were not painful, but could be felt. The active labor contractions felt like a rolling pain... Imagine a bowling ball rolling around in one spot. My active labor was less than three hours because my baby was so small (only 5lbs). I had one small tear and didn't even feel it. The only part of her coming out that was painful was when her head crowned at the fullest part, but that only lasted a split second. You will do just fine. In between the contractions, you will have a moment to breathe and rest. Once you see and hold your child, the pain will go away. Child birth is really an empowering thing.



Overall, the labor will not be as bad as you think. Though some may say I had it easy with a small baby, all labors and births are different. One thing I could advise is to moan when you feel the need. It releases endorphines that will ease the pain a little. Also, I didn't do any of the breathing techniques learned in birthing class. Instead, I just did one long breath in, and blew out slowly after the peak of the contraction.



I hope this helps! Enjoy your little one and the best of health to both of you.

Adrianna - posted on 08/15/2012

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Congratulations!!
Labor and delivery are not as painful and bad as some might describe it. I have no pain tolerance yet I made it through with no problems and was actually surprised how great this experience was. Everything happens gradually giving you enough time to deal with each stage. Now, just relax, enjoy and be happy for becoming a Mom is the most wonderful thing in this world:-)

Momof1 - posted on 08/06/2012

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My labor was 12 hours, 55 minutes, 38 minutes of pushing and my son was 6 lbs 10 oz.



It is scary. I was a nursing student and learned all about labor and delivery before I became pregnant. I also saw one vaginal birth and Cesarean sections. Because I was able to learn a lot about labor and delivery, I knew exactly what I wanted from day one, however that did not stop it from being scary. I mainly just tried not to think about it much and just went along my pregnancy. I KNOW a lot of people will tell you to not make a birth plan. I think all women should. That way you know what you WANT and you also research/know the other alternatives it something takes a different turn.



My water broke at 2:45 AM and I was not prepared. I was 39 weeks and 4 days, however when I was at my last appointment 5 days earlier, my midwife checked and said I was not dilated or effaced at all. I was hoping to go to 40 weeks before giving birth. So anyway, I was not prepared. I jumped up and my husband called the hospital. I took a shower then we left. (Made a pit stop for food on the way. :) ) I did not start contractions until around 6 AM and that was when I was told I was 2-3 cm. I was also having back contractions/back labor. I had zero stomach tightening contractions. I was then quickly moved to the labor room. Unfortunately my BP was a little high, the first time the whole pregnancy, so I had to wait until it went down to walk around or get in the bath tub. I then ate breakfast (I know, some or most of you are thinking how could I eat. I can always eat and luckily I was able to since I did not get an IV placed.) Then I relaxed and read in the tub, then got out and ate lunch.



The doctor told me (before I was brought to the labor room,) that if I'm not progressing by 10 AM I will need to start thinking if I want to be induced or not, because it isn't really safe to go more then a day in labor after your water breaks. Too much chance for infection. I so did not want to get induced! Luckily I did not have to. Actually, I was checked again (down there) until 2 ish PM. At that point I was told that I was 7 cm and was asked about any paid medications, because my hospital would not do it after you hit 8. I said no. The midwife reminded me that it can take about an hour for every cm, so I may have been in for another 3 hours plus. I said no. At 2:57 I was pushing and my son was born at 3:35 PM, after pushing for 38 minutes. My midwife said normal pushing time for first time mothers was 1 and a half hours to 3 hours. I guess I just wanted him out!



Yes the contractions hurt, though I cannot tell you what "regular" contractions feel like. Whenever I had a contraction, late in the game, I looked at my husband and my friend and said I wanted pain meds, but when they were over it was fine. The only difference with this birth I would have maid was I wanted to squat, however since I didn't know what to expect, it just happened when it happened.



For me, pushing hurt way more then contractions. Not pain as much as pressure, though. I tore front, actually, when normally women tear back. Another oddity. Don't let them talk you into an episiotomy, either. They aren't all the "rage" they used to be and in most cases, being cut a little will then turn into full blown tearing. Also, peeing afterwards hurt more then contractions, pushing AND toothaches! That is actually my worst fear for if/when there is a next time.



All in all, try not to read into so many stories (ironic since I just gave you mine, I know.) You don't want to focus on either the good or the bad stories. Do your research, talk to your doctor, talk to friends. Make a birth plan and go to a labor and delivery class, though that did not help me, because my husband and myself did not use the techniques. I was the first of my friends to go through and all natural vaginal birth, still though, talking to them about everything helped me feel more secure in knowing the options. Also, epidurals do not work all the time. It may do nothing, it may only cover half your body, it may make you too numb. Another reason I did not want one, because I wasn't to keen on feeling numb. I one vaginal birth I saw, the women had the epidural and still screamed. I didn't scream one, only swore once and was able to laugh/make jokes. You have to think and research everything.

Lauren - posted on 08/05/2012

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I had my 9 lbs 15 oz daughter all natural. I was planning on getting the epidural as soon as possible becasue i can't handle the pain. I read every book i could on delivery and forgot it all once the doctor broke my water. The pain of the "real" contraction is unbelieve. Like everything on your insides is twisting and burning. All i wanted to do was scream, i locked myself in the bathroom of my hospital room and screamed and cried untill my doctor came in and told me that screaming will only cause me more stress and that i had to breathe through it. when your more calm with your contractions they seemed to me, to be easier to deal with. and when "the baby is there" you feel what people call The Burning Ring Of Fire. your whole va jay jay feels like its on fire and your stretching just burns. i didnt tear i got the "snip" i remember the pressure of not being able to get my daughter out and then once i got the snip i felt a rush of fluid which was blood and then i felt my daughter body parts coming out and i knew i had done it. it was the most amazing moment of my life. after you get that baby in your arms you forget all about the pain. think of it like i did, its got to hurt, its suposed to hurt something that is inside you is comming out! your giving life to a human. you're a friken machine! you can do this! llol and just think about that finish time when your baby will be in your arms.!! it took 2 hours to sew me back up and i lost alot of blood, i had 2 blood transfusions after but i do not regret a single moment. ♥

Carmen - posted on 08/05/2012

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If you cannot tolerate pain very well,i recommend getting the pain medications that are available.All deliveries are different with each child.I can see how you are nervous it's your first baby and i think all moms to be are with there first. I have 3 children and my youngest is 2 months, i had the epidural and it worked very well for me when it was time to deliver the baby i could not fill anything below my waist. Enjoy your pregnancy, it goes fast and once you know it your baby will be here! Good Luck

Angelica - posted on 08/04/2012

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im such a wimp! i refuse to get tattoo's and avoid shots at the doctor with everything i have. but when i had my son naturally i honestly still think back to the moment and smile, after spending months of being pregnant you'll be ready, you'll be tired, i would do it everyday if i could be promised that beautiful feeling, there is some pain, it feels exactly like a period cramp but very strong in fades in and out (contractions) the ripping sounds like its awful, but by the time that you're finally through labor and that baby is that close to being out that you are ripping you do not care i promise!! its quick at that point. the worst part for me was postpartum, the first poop after giving birth was awful, the hospital stay was awful, i could hardly walk because of the stitches, and i could barely control my pee haha i peed myself so many times it was so weird it would just come out, this only lasts a couple weeks and after you take a shower and get home and have time to relax and recover things will be a lot better. the depression has been hard too, mostly the effect the pregnancy had on my body really gets to me, but ill get over it :) hes worth it!

Sarah - posted on 08/04/2012

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im about to have my second child and from every mother i talk to ive herd that same thing it may hurt really bad at first i meen my first was almost painless because i had the epidoral sorry if i spelled it wrong but when they bring your baby to you you cant even remember the pain its like the nap you take after labore swipes your memory of the pain clean you remember it hurting but you dont remember what it really feltlike so just remind your self that everything is going to be ok and exersise during your pregnancy will make for a shorter delivery just stay active :) unless told difrently by a doctor sumtimes thats not always the best lol :)

Mary Renee - posted on 08/04/2012

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Honestly, I had an epidural and I didn't feel a thing. Pre-epidural the contractions were like getting a charlie horse except on your entire body. Or being hit in the back with a baseball bat repeatedly. But I was given pitocin so that might be why. Avoid Pitocin! Finally they were so close together and so painful I got the epidural so that when it came time to push I was exhausted (it was a 35 hour labor) but it didn't actually hurt.

Afterward, when the epidural wears off and you're healing it is definitely painful, although I usually can psyche myself out of most types of pain, so it wasn't PAIN as much as it was extreme discomfort. I didn't want to move because I was so uncomfortable down there. (I got two stitches, most people tear when delivering their first, but do NOT get an episiotomy. I didn't, which it why I probably only required two stitches. Try this experiment. Try ripping a normal piece of paper. Then try cutting a piece of paper half way though with scissors, and then ripping it. Which rips easier? The one with the cut. DON'T get an episiotomy)

That said, it wasn't so bad. They wanted to give me a cesarean, but I sent my doctor away and got a second opinion and then they pulled my baby out with forceps. I'm so glad too, because vaginal labor require a lot less recovery time. I took a final and then walked at my college graduation with in 6 days of having my daughter, no pain, just lots of nursing pads, haha, and I was still wearing regular pads for the bleeding. Don't worry. The pain is short. It feels like forever when you're going through it, but just like everything else in life, it's over before you know it, at least in hindsight.

Shawna - posted on 08/03/2012

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i just had my first baby i was in labor for 33 hours and it took about an hour to push out my beautiful daughter. My delivery was not as bad as everyone makes it out to be but it defitinetly hurts. i didnt receive epidural until about my 20th hour of labor. if u receive ur epidural yooou cannot feel urself ripping or even the baby coming out. the contractions are so much more overbearing then any part of you labor. after birth is just a numbing feeling. u will be drained and so will ur new LOVE! just rest and eat good and dont forget to use the icepack pads they work!!!!! use everything the hospital has to offer. Labor is an experience to be reckoned with but just focus on being pregnant and having fun no matter whAT the circumstances. i had it bad aand coud have enjoyed it more. no reason to be afraid. it will b a piece of cake. labor didnt bother me at all i would do it over again in a heartbeat!!!!

User - posted on 08/02/2012

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P.S. Jamie is right. get what to expect. i read it about 1000 times through my pregnancy :)

User - posted on 08/02/2012

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Everyone is different but im happy to tell you my experience. I was scared of giving birth too. Dreaded it!!! well when labor started it was about 10pm and I didnt want to be one of those people who came in super early and spent longer in the hospital that i needed to. So I stayed home as long as i could, got to the hospital at about 3am and was alread 5cm. The most painful part for me was going through that transition without the epidural. it took them until about 6am to get it to me because of paperwork and stuff. (which i think if you talk to your doctor they will let you do most of that before you get there to cut out waiting time, DEFINITELY do that) After the epidural I felt nothing for a few hours. At around 9-10am I had the urge to push so bad that I literally could not control it, I tried so hard not to push but it is unbelievable how natural it is, they turned off the epidural so I could start pushing and feel it a little better. (you dont have to have it turned off) pushing really does just feel like going to the bathroom. Yes, it hurts, but not as much as i expected. Pushing does not last long and i suggest you ask to touch the head when it starts to come through. it will give you a last burst of adrenaline because feeling the baby makes you want to see it soo badly. I ripped really badly. I actually ripped towards the front when most people rip to the back. I did not feel it at all though. they accidentally ripped my placenta and had to reach all the way in to get it out, I doubt that will happen to you though. Then they stitched me up (which stung a little) and it was over :) After you give birth is just very uncomfortable. They will probably give you stool softener which will help a lot and some pain medication. for me it was painful to pee for a few weeks because of where i ripped and i bled for about 4 weeks. Heavy for the first week then like a light period after. If you breastfeed it will help the healing process because breastfeeding stimulates contractions to help shrink and heal your uterus. So pretty much i suggest getting the epidural and not to stress. If your body is tense during labor it can actually make the process longer. you will be fine. its happening no matter what and once you are holding your baby nothing else matters. I thought after that experience I would not want another baby. Right after I had her i knew i would be going through the whole think again in a few years. :) Mostly it is tiring because you cant eat and it is hard to sleep. that is why pushing can be hard. Just relax and your body will do most of the work for you :)

Jamie - posted on 07/20/2012

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You definately need to go to the hospital for the birth classes, it will help calm your fears. Knowing what is going to happen will help you a lot. Reading the "what to expect" book also helped before labor and after having the baby. It is true that it is scary with the first one and women give horror stories, but in reality every story came out okay and they wouldn't change it for the world. Also having a great doctor and hospital that you can trust will help calm you too.

I had two babies, a little girl (3 yr)and then a little boy (11m). My first labor was long(she was 2 days early), my water broke before I had contractions, was in labor for 23.5 hours. At 24 hrs its an automatic c-section. Becuase my water broke for so long I had gotten an infection and had a 103 degree temperature....I swear being hot and sweaty with a temperature was the worst part. Yes I tore, but it only needed 3 stitches and I didn't feel it cause of the epidural. Yes I was sore afterwards but you get over that, the sooner you get up and moving around the better you feel. I was very worried about my baby, she wasn't breathing, crying or anything so the labor was totally forgotten; you will only focus on the baby. But Lacy was fine, I was fine, and we all did well.

My second labor was just 11m months ago and completely differant from the first. I woke up at 2:30am for some reason, couldn't pin point why. So I got up to go to the bathroom, my husband woke up automatically.... I was 10 days late so he was just waiting for it to happen. I got out of bed and felt a contraction and didn't really hurt, we timed it at 10min. My next contraction was more real and timed to the next one that was 8min. We new it was real and started to get some stuff together and the thrid contraction had me on the floor crying (sorry, but it does hurt but you will forget quickly and the more you relax the less it hurts) and timed to 5 min. In a matter of 3 contractions we were calling my sister to come watch my daughter. Long story short: we ran red lights, the nurses ran me to labor/delivery and checked me in at 9cm.....I begged for the epidural, got it and pushed immediately. It took a total of 2 hours and Evan was happy/healthy. I had one stitch from the rip and I felt so good afterwards that I walked to see all the other babies in the waiting area immediately after I was cleaned up.

So the labor and deliveries can be differant for everyone and differant for the same person. I never expected to go so quickly and easily with the second baby. Enjoy your pregnancy and I know this sounds crazy but you'll somewhat enjoy the labor/delivery....only you can do it and it will be only your story to tell. You'll remember a lot of things but the actual pain and stuff will be a distant memory. People kept telling me that its a pain that is easily forgotten and I always thought they were nuts but its very true. If it was easily remembered then women wouldn't keep having kids. But once you hold that baby, nothing else will matter.

Jeanne - posted on 07/19/2012

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I just delivered had my first baby 10 weeks ago and I was also nervous about delivery. All I have to say is get the epidural!!! I got mine once contractions were about one to two minutes apart and it was the best choice I couldn't feel a thing!!! I was cut and had stiches and didn't even know it! After it wore off I was a little site from the stiches but nothing a little over the counter pain killer couldn't solve. One thing I would stay away from are the IV drugs before the epidural had many friends say it makes u feel drunk.

Alecia - posted on 07/18/2012

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My labor and delivery was not perfect, but I would do it over and over again! I am all smiles when I talk about that day because it's the moment you have been waiting for and there is so much excitement! You usually have so much support from family, friends, or hospital staff and it's a huge adjustment to finally see what you created. I say just make sure to ask lots of questions as you have them and try not to be too nervous (easier said than done I know!). Most doctors cut you before you rip during labor, though it does happen. The stitches are usually tight and uncomfortable, but sitting in a bath tub (not filling it up) and splashing with hot water makes a huge difference when you get home!!! I was always worried about having a bowel movement while pushing, but you know I never asked if I did and they never mentioned it. By the time I had my son, I forgot about all of what I had been worried about. It goes by so quick, so remember and enjoy every moment!!!!

Elfrieda - posted on 07/17/2012

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You have lots of time to read up on everything and learn exactly how your body works. It will help, I promise! I didn't feel ready to face giving birth until my due date, and then my baby was born 5 days later and it hurt but wasn't horrible at all. It was actually really hard, but wonderful. I felt very powerful. The more you learn, the better you'll feel. And don't let people tell you their horror stories! I can't believe some people, they like to scare pregnant women.



For me it helped to find out that the baby isn't just clawing its way out and tearing things apart on the way, it's all much more orderly than that. :) The blood isn't from damage, it's because the placenta is letting go of your uterus and all the blood vessels have to close off.

Kay - posted on 07/16/2012

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I just gave birth to my first child about a month ago. My water began to leak and i didnt even know. I was n labor for 20 hrs and pushed for 40 min but i got an epidural as soon as i felt a slight contraction. If u are choosing and epi i suggest as soon as u feel a slight cramp, tell te nurse u want the epi because sometimes it can take a while to get it. I got mine within 5 min luckily. I was really scared about gettingthe epi but it honestly wasnt bad at all and my pain tolerance is very low. I also tore but i never felt it of course. It didnt really bother me after the epi wore off but i was lucky i only tore a little. After birth i did have moments where i was very overwhelmed and cried. Its normal to cry but if u feel like u want nothing to do with ur child id call for help. Also when u get overwhelmed try taking a break, if possible. Im a single mom so sometimes i had no one to give him to for a little while but putting him down and walking away for about 5 min wont hurt anything. Good luck to you.

Courtney - posted on 07/16/2012

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I just had my first child and labor was not as bad as some people make it out to be. The unknown is very scary so I completely understand where you are coming from. I was also scared. I had a 16 hour labor (not short) but it was nothing that I couldn't handle. I did end up getting an epidural after I was dialated to 7cm and that also didn't hurt. I didn't even feel the first stick that they warn you about...I advise you get the epidural because it took the pain completely away to the point I was able to get a nap in. When I woke up from the nap it was time to push. Pushing was by far the most stressful because I didn't know if I was going to be able to feel and do it with the epidural numbing me...but I stressed about it for nothing...its a natural thing womens bodies are made to do . I pushed for 12mins and then my daughter arrived and after that believe me you forget about everything that has just happend...you feel nothing but the skin on your newborn baby on your chest. I know your scared but just look at it like this...You have to do it no matter what...that baby has to come out...there is no reason to stress out about it because you can't get out of it now...go in there pumped up and ready to do it and you will shock everyone with how strong you are. That made it so much better for me when people told me how amazed they were that it was my first labor because I had looked like I done it 10 times before!

Amy - posted on 07/15/2012

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Everybody had different experience during labor and deliver, and it can be very different for each child, so just because someone has a very quick and easy one with the first doesn't mean that is the case with the second. Since you are scared I suggest you find a labor and delivery class that you can take to help you prepare.

I was very active during my pregnancy and had a short easy labor with both of my kids. My doctor always told me I would know was having contractions but when the time came for my first I wasn't sure if I was actually in labor. It felt more like period cramping, I only ended up calling her because I had started bleeding so she told me to come in and get checked out. When I arrived at the hospital I was 7 cm dilated. After an hour or two without much progress she informed me she could break my water but if I was going to do an epidural she highly advised I get it first. She also told me that if I got the epidural I'd probably be able to get some sleep and at 2 in the morning that sounded like a great idea. I slept till 6 when the doctor came in to check on me, they had me do a practice push while my doctor got dressed but my son was right there so I had to wait. My doctor was barely dressed when my son was born at 6:20, I couldn't feel a thing because of the epidural. I was up and moving around a couple of hours later, sore but feeling ok.

With my daughter I was induced. I was hooked up to the iv at 1, by 4 am I was asking for an epidural. I got some sleep my doctor checked me at 8 and broke my water. As she was calling the office to cancel her morning appointments I felt the need to push. Her and the nurses came and 3 contractions later we were all done. I felt great after my daughter and practically had to beg the nurses to let me take a shower an hour or two after she was born.

Not everyone has labor experiences like mine, unfortunately when people see someone pregnant they want to share their horror story which is only going to cause you more fear. You are still very early in your pregnancy and you have plenty of time to mentally prepare yourself, and remember trust your body.

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