Horrible infant car seat crying

Stacey - posted on 11/07/2010

hi there it is definetly illegal to put him facing forward at 3 and half months, if i were you i would try some soothing music or maybe a soother

Jytte-Marie - posted on 11/07/2010

my son does not like his car seat either. he hates it. But once we start driving or there is any motion, he calms down.
He's not even 3 months yet, but I would say that is common. My friends children are a few months older and spaz like that still.

and just to re-iterate what everyone else has said, NEVER EVER EVER Face them forward before they are the right height and weight requirements stated by your countrie's, state or provinces' law.
Heck, even if I birthed a 20lb baby I wouldn't face them forward. They may be close to the bigger size/legal size, but it doesn't mean their neck muscles would have developed 4months in advanced either.

Jolene - posted on 11/03/2010

my daughter sometimes cries in the car and i hold her dummy in and let her hold my hand/finger. she settle down after 5 mins

Smita - posted on 11/02/2010

Lisette, it's been more than a month since you made this post. Your son must be 4mths now, has it gotten any better?
My daughter, who is 3mths now, is going through the same and I can't tell if she simply just dislikes being in a car or if she is having a motion sickness. She cries so bad that it bringe tears to my eyes everytime we make a trip in the car. I am feeling just as hopeless about this as you were...
I hope you're son is feeling much better now.

Dayna - posted on 10/26/2010

my son was the same way and still kind of is that way. If he can not see me then he freaks out. sometimes I give him a bottle to calm him down when he is back there but my son is also 5 months older than your child is and he might not be able to hold his bottle by himself yet. Try this... whenever someone else is in the car with you, have one of you sit in the back with him to keep him comfortable and entertained! it really does help. You just have to find what works for him. loud music did not always help and he would scream louder... this was very stressful!

Carly - posted on 10/25/2010

My son was the same, absolutely hated the car. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do but keep driving hehe he will get use to it I promise persistance is the key I think

Brandi - posted on 10/25/2010

My little girl Is 9 months old, and she just now is getting to where she will ride for SHORT periods of time without screaming. She always hated her car seat, so if I was planning a long ride I would do my best just to keep her awake so she would take a nap then. It is NOT safe to put them in a forward facing car seat! Someone actually suggested I put my child in the front seat, which wasn't going to happen! I would rather her be safe, even if it meant listening to her cry for an hour! I still avoid going places, so good luck; and hopefully he will grow out of it soon :)

Danielle - posted on 10/08/2010

Keep your baby RF as long as u can that is the safest way for a baby to ride in a car.

Tine - posted on 09/30/2010

It is not safe or legal to drive with him facing forward until he is about 1 year old. I had the same problem with my daughter, and decided that her wellbeing was more important than going places..! We stayed close to home for most of her first year. If you are in the car a lot, it probably is just too much for such a little baby - he is likely just bored and hating being restrained and physically away from you so much. If you can minimise car time, do so!
For when you have to be in the car, lots and lots of toys to pass one at a time as a stream of surpises helps, as does music, and surprise noises (nice ones!). Sing to him.

HEIDI - posted on 09/30/2010

What ever works... LOL

Kasey - posted on 09/30/2010

We had the same problem with our son. He would scream uncontrollably from the second we put him in the car unless one of us sat in the back with him. I would get so anxious if i had to drive anywhere, until a friend of mine gave me this useful tip... It saved my sanity! Take a photo of your face, with a nice big happy smile. Blow up the picture to about A4 size and position it where your baby can see it. It solved the problem for us instantly! It was kind of embarrassing having a big photo of my face in the back seat, but i was willing to try anything. I hope you give this a try and it works for you too :)

HEIDI - posted on 09/29/2010

Don't put in a forward facing car seat. My little girl hated it too. I developed a strategy to calm her. She loves songs. I just sang and sang to her until she fell a sleep. She absolutely loves "This Old Man... I sing it twice and she's out....

Leslie - posted on 09/28/2010

I had the same problem with my son in his infant car seat. The infant car seat was a Graco and was nicely padded but he would scream for a half hour or more and we would sing to him until we were blue in the face to get him to stop crying. The anxiety it caused me made driving almost impossible.
At about six months I bought him a convertible seat, the Recaro Signo. I installed it rear facing at the appropriate angle and like magic he stopped crying in the car. If I would have known that the car seat was the cause of all our stress I would have switched as soon as the problem became apparent. The Recaro Signo is good for babies as small as 5lbs and can be kept rear facing well into their first year, before turning it around. I bought the Recaro Signo on diapers.com and spoke with customer service before hand as I was concerned that it would not fit in my car. They let me know that I could return it free of charge, but luckily our problems were solved and he is a new baby in the car.

Sarah - posted on 09/28/2010

MY son did the same thing. I seriously would almost throw up at the thought of taking him into the car because it was so horrible. I know how you feel and im sorry it sucks so much, they do grow out of it i promise, just keep that music up and have a nice drink once you get home :) lol

Danielle - posted on 09/28/2010

yes it is totally illegal to put your child forward facing until the age of 1 year~! my Daughter hated her car seat from day one.. she is now 9 months old and she still hates it..although she is startng to get used to it! si i think over time yours will get used to it over time as well. also there are these mirrors you can attach on to the seat of the car so that you can look in your review mirror and see her! well good luck and hopefully things will get better soon! :)

Catherine - posted on 09/25/2010

I don't think it would be safe (or legal!) to put a 3-month-old in a front-facing seat. My son was exactly the same; driving with him was an absolute nightmare, and nothing worked. Eventually, he just grew out of it (I think he was about 5 or 6 months old by then). I know that's not really helpful, I wish I had a magic solution, but you may just have to give him the time to get used to it.

Lil - posted on 09/25/2010

I can understand your worry
I dont think there is any law about which way the baby is sitting Just ask the police if you are not sure
To have a baby cry like that is un nerving if you arer driving he should be better if he can see you Prehaps that is why he cries I would try it cant cause any harm as he is strapped in Like that want you to do
Lil

Nicole - posted on 09/24/2010

i asked this of my pediatrician when she asked if i used a car seat still because of my daughters height and weight was too close to the limits on infant carriers. i recently swapped to a convertible seat and we face her to the rear. i have seen several videos about children forward facing too soon or even at the min limit. the one i found to be most heart breaking was an 18 month old boy who broke his neck and loss the use of his arms and legs because of the forward pressure from the 5 point harness.

my pediatrician told me no doctor will recommend that you turn them around at the "minimum limit" she told me 2 years refacing and when its no longer possible to stay rear facing keep them in the 5 point harness seat forward for as long as possible before going to a plain booster. even flo makes one of the convertables that has one of the highest weight limits at 45 lbs rear facing and i think almost 100 forward facing i would have to look it up but it was advertised in babytalk magazine in their march issue.

Janice - posted on 09/24/2010

Wait till he's 20lbs by Canadian law standards. We had the same thing with our daughter and it's JUST starting to get better! She is now 6 months old and rides in a convertible car seat and we now have a mini van so she can sit and look out the window which distracts her a little. I also bought the smash proof mirrors that slide onto the head rest so you can see them and in time he'll be able to see you. Talk and sing as well...it helps to know that you don't 'disappear' when you put him in the carseat! Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 09/24/2010

its against law to put child under 1 yr old in forward facing car seat because their neck cannot withstain even a minor accident and you could actually kill your baby if they're neck isn't strong enough and you are in an accident.... what i WOULD do if i were you, is go buy something that entertains baby and you can strap to either the back of the seat of the car, or the handle of the car seat... something with music and lights that's soothing should help calm baby.

Bridget - posted on 09/24/2010

Lisette, hang in there! My daughter turned one today and is a dream in her car seat. But for MONTHS she was just as you are describing. We tried everything, and it was so difficult- she was 3 months around the holidays so we had man 4-6 hour drives plus she had health concerns and we had long drives to different specialists. I felt like the worst mother but also felt like I might go crazy and have a horrible case of road rage! It was scary and stressful. One thing that did help was we had this attachment for our pack and play that vibrated to soothe her, and we put in against the car seat and it seemed to help, sometimes. Good luck!

Guenevere - posted on 09/24/2010

Lisette, as others have already said it's definitely not safe to have your son face forward in the car. He doesn't have the muscle control to protect his neck and could sustain a serious head injury even in a minor collision.

That said...I know of several other kiddos (one of mine included!) who HATED the car until about 4-5 months of age - about the time she could really manipulate a toy well and keep herself entertained. Your son will most likely outgrow this stage soon - hang in there!

Dawn - posted on 09/24/2010

Amanda also reminded me when she said, "Stop while your driving to make sure he isn't getting over-heated. I can't even count how many times I'd take my daughter out of her car seat with tons of sweat after just a 10 minute drive." My little one was the same way, she HATED being hot and sometimes she was just TOO warm. Another thing, if you have fed them recently, they may have a gas bubble stuck and just need to let out a nice belch. Sometimes (as annoying as it is), you just have to stop, take them out and se if you can help get a little gas out, sometimes, jut from crying, they suck in air too and that might just do the trick.

Dawn - posted on 09/24/2010

My daughter was the same way and we just dealt with it. We used a mirror, gave her toys....nothing worked, it wasn't until she was over a year and we faced her forward that it stopped, she was just a very inquisitive child and I think that she liked the fact that she couldn't see anything. Now she is much happier, but we didn't turn her around early, we just grinned and dealt with it as horrible and annoying and unpleasant as it was for everyone.

Amanda - posted on 09/24/2010

Lisette,

Some of the moms have had some great suggestions...once you get past everyone lecturing you about ff ...even after you responded that YOU WOULDN'T.

Check the straps, make sure they aren't too tight.
Check underneath the cover and make sure that nothing is under there poking him.
Wash the cover (my daughter never fussed in her seat unless she spilled her bottle and it was smelly)
Make sure it's installed correctly -- if the base can be moved more than an inch it might be jiggling while your driving (not safe and sometimes scary for baby)
Check to make sure that when he is strapped in his feet or legs aren't caught and he can move normally
Stop while your driving to make sure he isn't getting over-heated. I can't even count how many times I'd take my daughter out of her car seat with tons of sweat after just a 10 minute drive.

Good luck!

Farzanah - posted on 09/24/2010

Hi Lisette and other mummies. Wish I ha the solution you are looking for, my son is now turning a year and i have him in a forward facing seat which has CHANGED my life!! We live 45 minutes from anywhere so getting out was always a stressful event. I agree ofcourse that his safelty comes first but I understand the agonising cries that leave s your stomach turning!! Hang in there it does get better.

Elisabeth - posted on 09/24/2010

It is neither safe nor legal.If you get in a head-on crash, your baby will break his neck from the impact. It a rear-facing car seat, his neck will be cradled. You should have him in a rear-facing seat as long as possible. You could try a convertible car seat facing backwards. Maybe he doesn't like the laying back position of the infant car seat.

Korin - posted on 09/24/2010

I think it is state law as to whether this is legal, but most places say 30lbs AND 2 years old. I get your frustration, but the alternative to listening to him cry is turning him around and risk severe injury in a car wreck. There little necks can't handle their big heads in a car crash. Its just not worth it to risk what could happen over a little crying. I would hate to look back and say if only. If it isn't legal and you get pulled over for another violation or even go through a checkpoint, expect another ticket for children not legally restrained.

Jodi - posted on 09/23/2010

You say that you spend 90% of your time in the car? I would say thats half your problem right there. He is probably bored and I would imagine it would get quite uncomfortable being strapped in a carseat for long peroids of time. Perhaps you need to stop more frequently to give hime time to stretch out and have a play.

Leah - posted on 09/23/2010

I know this will sound weird, but with my first we had the same problem. She would scream the minute we put her in the car seat until we got her out. We realized that we had not adjusted the tightness of the straps since she was born and she was then 6 weeks old. It was as easy as that! She never had a problem after that.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/23/2010

My son cried the first year in his car seat. I put him forward at 10 months and still cried till he was about 13 months.

Darci - posted on 09/22/2010

3 months is way way too young to put in a front facing car seat. It is not safe and my opinion I rather just let my son cry then put in an unsafe place. They are suppose to be at least 22 pounds or some people say at age one but at least 22 pound I think if the baby was like 20 pounds it would be okay but I wouldnt push it. My nephew was big for his age so he moved to front facing at 8 months but was well over 22 pounds. He was fine to move to a front facing one although he was not one yet. His weight was right for it. I know it is hard when you are in the car and the baby is crying trust me I know my son is 19 months and still crys in the car. I try and sing to him new songs he hasnt heard me sing I try to distract him in ways that dont distract me. It is better to just let them cry then for you to me reaching back there while driving to comfort them. Never do that you could get distracted and reck and crying wont kill your baby or you. I was excited when my son finally weighed enough to move to front facing but to be honest it didnt help for him too much. Seriously if they hate the car then they hate the car theres not too much you can do but hope that over time they get use to it and it does get better my son no longer screams just gets fussy. but yes when he was young he screamed the whole way to the store or wherever. Most babies can fall a sleep in the car but haha not mine we go to my inlaws house 2 hours away and when we drive home we try and plan leaving with his bed time so he can fall asleep in the car but it never works he could be completely tired and nope he doesnt sleep he crys the whole way home. The whole 2 hours is crazy. Its hard trust me. Just deal with it and hope it gets better. If nothing you have tryed has worked then just let it happen just tune it out your baby will survive a little crying and you will too. Just dont be unsafe and move your child to a front facing car seat too soon. Good Luck!

Kristy - posted on 09/22/2010

Have you considered that bub might have motion sickness? My friend had a daughter who had motion sickness, and all she could do was limit the time spent in the car. Maybe something about the way bub is sitting is hurting them, you could try going to see a chiropractor to make sure its not related to the way they are sitting. Its not safe to put them in a forward facing seat yet so please don't do this.

Anna - posted on 09/22/2010

our baby had the same problem for a really long time. He cried and screamed everytime he was in his car-seat. It started the day he left the hospital. He is now 7 months old and over the last few months, he has gotten better. Absolutely, keep him REAR facing. One thing that helped, was this TIny Love Developmental Mobile we bought and attached to his carseat. It was like magic but just for short periods of time. We also tried the mirror which helped. Some people find DVD players helpful too. We mainly tried to limit our time in the car. And more recently singing to him has started to help, he will sometimes sit quietly through "wheels on the bus" and "shoo fly don't bother me." He's been better since he's been in the convertible car-seat but facing back.

Maren - posted on 09/22/2010

My daughter would do nothing but scream at that age too because she thought I had disappeared. Once he gains object permanence it should get better. I sang to my daughter the entire time we were in the car. Talking didn't help, just singing. Now, at 17 months, when she's tired and fussy in the car I can sing and that calms her enough to fall asleep. She loves singing. I hope this helps you. Good luck.

Heather - posted on 09/21/2010

bless you, dear momma. my daughter did this too and at the time i remember thinking that i was *never* going to be able to go anywhere. make sure he's not too hot. i remember she got more comfortable after we removed the infant inserts (and she'd met the requirements.) but the real 'magic' seemed to be the music cd from the music class we were going to (music together.) i've heard other families from mt say the same thing. our daughter is now 15 months old, and these music cd's still work for the fussy times.

Anita - posted on 09/21/2010

Hi Lisette, No, I wouldn't put him in a forward facing seat until at least 6 months (or at least until he can sit up properly). Probably not legal either. I can sympathise with you because my son was exactly the same. The way I dealt with it was turning the music up loud, it drowned out his crying and made him stop some of the times. I also hung up some mobiles so he can play with them in the car. I also timed the car trips for when his nap times were. A bottle of water or milk does the truck too. Good luck :)

Michelle Hogarth - posted on 09/21/2010

This sounds like my daughter at the same age! We used to call the car seat the Torture Chamber. As horrible as it is, he will grow out of it. We travelled by car alot throughout her life and she is used to it now. She pretty much falls asleep a few mionutes after being strapped in. I wouldn't recommend front facing with such a young infant just for safety's sake. The crying is WAY worth having your child safe than someting HORRIBLE happening in an accident. Good luck!

Janine - posted on 09/21/2010

Facing him forward is not the answer. Most babies will cry and scream when in a car seat and for up to 6 mths or more... I know it sounds bad but it could be that he isnt used to it, that he isnt burped properly before going out, he is a clingy bub and wants to be in the comfort of mums arms... What you need to know is that at some point in time, they all eventually get used to it. He could have bad wind, colic etc so laying down causes him stress - is he like this when he is at home? by 6 mths, you should be able to sit him up appropriately in his harnessed seat, this will make all the difference. Fact is, most mothers go through this, it will change. If it becomes too much then maybe you will have to wait untill your partner comes home to look after bub before you can go and do what you need to.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/21/2010

When my son was younger he was terrible, even worse because he was in the back and rear facing so I couldn't see him. Luckily with the car I have I can disable the passenger seats air bag, which meant that he could travel up front with me and I could see him and he could see me and it meant for a lot less crying!
Not sure if it's an option for you or not :/ & I'm assuming it's legal and safe or disabling the feature wouldn't be an option.

Heather - posted on 09/20/2010

my daughter used to do the same thing with her infant seat. she hated it and I mean hated it. but she got over it after a while and when we would let her stay in because she would fall asleep and we didn't want to wake her up. He is going to have get used to it because you do not want to put him in a rear facing one for a while

Heather - posted on 09/20/2010

My son used to be horrible in the car too. But a friend told me about some toys to use. The first is a baby einstein toy bad that hooks onto the carseat itself. It works wonders! The second is a mirror so they can see themselves. It is musical and has a remote so you can turn it on and off from the front seat. Also works wonders!
They both can be found at walmart...here are the links to view online before you buy them if you want.
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Baby-Einstein-...

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Fisher-Price-D...

Hope these help!

CANDY - posted on 09/19/2010

I know how you feel my baby cries as well when i am driving and i feel i am neglecting him because he cries and cries but he eventually falls asleep on his own and i say to myself he is a baby and wants to be held but i cant right now. I am confident he does not cry because he has a poopy diaper or hungry because i make sure he is good to go before we head out. I have a reflector mirror with music and lights in front of him which they sell in the baby aisles and he loves it he entertains himself with the lights and i also hang lil toys above our car handles so he can see them there. As long as he is fed and everything i also sometimes rock him and when he is droopy i place him in the carseat and go to a date night with my hubby and he will remain sleeping throughtout the car ride and night :) Just remember you are not the only one going through this :)

Jessi - posted on 09/19/2010

tina - i have heard very good reviews about that seat (my ride) and it's a reasonable price. i don't have 1 for my son but i would definately look into getting 1 if i have another child!

Jessi - posted on 09/19/2010

for that age it is absolutely not safe. maybe your child is simply uncomfortable in his seat...consider getting a new seat or maybe getting a mirror for him that hangs off the headrest.

Lisette - posted on 09/19/2010

Thank you to all you moms for your advice and honesty. I will NOT forward face him. At the time I asked this question, I was so overwhelmed and on the verge of a break down, I was pretty much talking out loud. I will certainly not ff him and just pray that he will soon get over this stage.

Thanks again!

Gena - posted on 09/19/2010

I see you've got plenty of info on not using a front facing seat. I just wanted to make a suggestion about how to help your baby. You can try a "static" channel with no music or sound, the steady noise may help. Also you can buy baby mirrors and place one on your visor and one in the back so the baby can see you. If you have a car you can put some familiar things in the back in front of him to help soothe him or if you have a van put your sweatshirt you've worn on the seat so he feels like your there with him. Make sure his straps aren't too tight also. Good luck, it is horrible to be so distracted when you need to focus.

Tina - posted on 09/19/2010

no no no do not face him forward!!! we never had a infant seat we just had the graco my ride 65 and i always felt totally safe with that one. i rear faced until 1st bday and then checked with my doctor about switching and he said yes because she was 1 yr old 20lbs and 29 inches all over the requirements. i recommend getting a convertible seat that can face backwards. it doesnt have to be the my ride 65 it can be any seat that legally faces forward and backward. my dad bought me my seat and he paid 150 for it

Hayley - posted on 09/19/2010

My son used to do that from the day he was born 'till he was about 4 months old. I used to think he must be the only baby in the world that DOESNT fall asleep in his car seat lol! I used to avoid using my car because the noise would drive me to distraction and I felt it wasn't safe. I don't know how or why it stopped......a few months down the line it just did but at least I can drive my car in peace :)

Cynthia - posted on 09/18/2010

My son hated being in the car seat as well at first. He absolutely hates being restrained, can't blame him. He would scream bloody murder sometimes so I would give him a pacifier and sing to him which helped some of the time. I think the reason he would cry so much is because he was a very gassy baby and being restrained and put in a semi upright position would cause him some pain along with his pants getting snug around the belly because of the position he was in. So when we had to take him in the car I would make sure he was either in an onesie or loose fitting clothing so he didn't feel so constricted and gave his belly a bit of breathing room, it helped alot. Could be the same thing with your son. My son is alot better now, he's 10 1/2 months old, has been for several months now.