How bad does childbirth hurt?

Sheila - posted on 02/14/2013

Just a word of caution... I myself had 3 med-free deliveries back in the early to mid 80's, so I have no first-hand knowledge. My oldest daughter, so far, has been the only one of the three to have given birth. I was there with her and her husband in the delivery room. Within seconds of receiving her epidural, she experienced an unprecedented allergic reaction and with BP bottoming out, fainted. The baby's BP and heart rate also bottomed out and we almost lost them both. Fortunately, they are both fine today, but I would definitely talk to your doctor about this prior to delivery day.

Lana - posted on 01/20/2013

Medicated? It didnt hurt at all. Didnt even feel the epidural. Labor? Intense pain. It was intolerable after 7 hrs. Now after delivery pooping hurts and if you plan to nurse that HURTS! Nursing stops hurting after 6 weeks though.

Janis Bell - posted on 12/16/2012

The three most perfect and empowering day of my life were the days I gave birth in 1976, 1979 and 1984. I used the original Lamaze method which taught my husband and me how to birth in communion and without any suffering. I cannot say it was painless but to have missed any second or had any second dulled with drugs would have been to miss the closest to God I have ever felt.

As a result I became a certified Lamaze educator and still teach it today 37 years later.

Find a class that has a fully certified educator either Lamaze or Bradley. Do not take it in a hospital as you risk having nurses with no certification teaching you things (non-evidence based) to make you a wel-behaved, compliant patient who will do what they say to get you in and out as fast as possible even though the practices of most hospitals have fiscal strength and speed at their core for values.

If you live on Oahu, in Hawaii call me and I will teach you how to do what I have described.

Aloha, Janis
808-263-2229

Lydia - posted on 12/13/2012

natural birth is amazing but painful. learn as much as possible about birth and the different options.



my first birth was in the hospital in stirrups, i did get some meds after a few hours of labor...but no epidural. it helped me rest between contractions, but the pain was still the same! it is painful!!!



my second birth was a planned home birth with a midwife, I was much more informed and prepared. Because I was at home, I could listen to my body and totally tune in. I felt much more comfortable than in the hospital and the birth experience was a lot more "complete"... not disturbed by all sorts of hospital "standard procedures" like frequent checks etc. my midwife not once checked if I am dilated, we just followed the natural path of the labor. I totally felt the transition into the pushing part. I just followed my feeling about positions and moving around and my body and mind were totally in tune. The body responded naturally to the pain in a supportive way (least painful, faster birth progress) The massage during labor from the midwife was actually a real pain relief and much more effective than the meds I received in birth 1.



I know that home birth is not for everyone. But all I can say natural birth in stirrups is really MORE painful and difficult. natural birth in a comfortable and free setting is great! it hurt too, but the experience is a much better.



learn all ou can about different options and make a birth plan... even if it doesn't turn out to be exactly as you like, it is much better to be informed of the options even if circumstances during birth demand a change of plan.

Shawnteria - posted on 12/12/2012

I believe its different for each person for me my contractions werent bad at all and the delivery was only 30 minutes the hardest part was pushing out the head and it hurts but if you focus on pushing which is what i did it takes your mind away from the pain the rest is easy after the head

Lydia - posted on 12/11/2012

When I had my son, I didn't have any back labor, and I made it to 6 without excruciating contractions. I got my epidural because I thought I would need it. I found out later that an epidural isn't supposed to numb the pain of labor just help before hand, so I felt everything. It was painful and for a second I thought I couldn't do it, but I did, and when I saw my son it was like all the pain was gone.

With my daughter, I had HORRIBLE back labor, and was actually screaming. I wanted my epidural ASAP, but there was an emergency so I didn't get my epidural until about 3 pm (I got to the hospital at 9 am). After I got that epidural I didn't really feel much. Labor was a lot easier, and thankfully it only took me 3 pushes and my daughter was here! With my son's delivery I only pushed for about 30 minutes.



It is different for every person and even every delivery.

I think that everyone should be active during pregnancy because that helps during delivery, and you should always prepare for the worst (pain wise) because you don't want to be surprised.

Lara - posted on 11/12/2012

you are more likely to have twins early and they will be smaller - so less chance of tearing etc.



Like the other women said, dont psych yourself out about labour. Do some classes, learn positions and breathing techniques that will help you through.



The night before my waters broke my baby turns, but she turned the wrong way and was posterior. I couldnt stand up straight or lie down because she was pressing against my spine. I couldnt tell the difference between contractions and the back pain when bub moved between contractions so I went to hospital when I thought my contractions were 5 minutes apart - but they were actually 8mins apart - they kept me in anyway because my waters had broken. I found two positions I could manage, both bending over standing or kneeling. For 18hrs that was hard work on my legs.



I was determined to only use a tens machine - which was an enormous help I thought. At 3am I was 12hrs into labour and exhausted I caved and had morphine. I did not want an epidural.



The only thing I can say is that once my baby was born the pain and length of time I was in labour just didnt matter any more... Seriously - didnt matter. I have no emotions about the experience anymore.

Nicole - posted on 11/11/2012

Hurts like crazy!!! But oh so worth it!!! I remember forgetting the pain when my oldest was born. I did have an epidural but up to that it was plenty rough. With my 2nd I had nothing til time for the epidural but had learned from reading articles and such how to manage it. Definitely look into classes to help manage the pain and such beforehand. With my 3rd I was looking forward to a drug free labor and delivery and had wonderful hospital staff to assist...however things turned sour when I was rushed in for emergency section. I do not personally know the effects of the epidural on the baby...both my first two suffered no ill effects from it....but I had back problems beforehand and knew a third epidural would be disastrous.



Mind over matter!!! If think it will be bad then there is a good chance it will be. But seeing that little angel afterwards is so rewarding!!!! Good luck to you!!!

Nicole - posted on 11/09/2012

no it does not hurt to get the empy. it feels like a pinch then something cold going threw ur back . when u have an epy u can feeling anything really

Bridget - posted on 11/08/2012

I had three babies the bigest being 6lbs 9oz, and the smallest 5lbs 2oz all natural, the smallest was the worst as he was prem and he needed to be sucked out. but for me the thought of the needle in my back scared me more than giving birth. The pain is a hard pain to describe because it is so different for every one. with my first I found it fustrating because I could feel her head going in and out, but it was so fast I didn't have time to think about drugs ( and they are not freely offered where I live in New Zealand, I don't know anyone who has had a epidural) so I just figgered if I can do it once i can do it again. but it all comes down to personal choice because if you are stressing out it can slow your labour. All the best

Bree - posted on 11/08/2012

Natural childbirth is AMAZING! I've had 2 and wouldn't have changed a thing! First labor = 4.5 hrs, 2nd = 2.5 hrs.



The more elective medication you receive during your labor, the more risk of complication you CHOOSE to expose you and your baby to. A natural vaginal birth is the safest way to give birth, unles there is a medical need to do otherwise.



When you are relaxed in a natural labor your body releases oxytocin into your brain (which doesn't happen with pitocin, it is only released into your bloodstream), and gives you natural painkillers and mind-altering chemicals. I FELT totally drugged during my natural birth. My sense of time was off, my thinking was fuzzy, and even my speech was slurred. And its true that once you see your baby you feel that it was worth it. There is medical evidence to back this up. The hormones released after a natural birth bond you with your baby and also have memory altering effects and leaves you feeling high :)



Don't let fear of natural birth keep you from learning about and attempting it. This website might help you www.naturalbutterflies.com, its for women who want to have a natural birth and are feeling nervous about it, for whatever reason, even from super helpful stories from relatives:)

Ashtyn - posted on 11/08/2012

I've already had some contractions I am at 4 cm dilated but Rey got my labor stopped the contractions barely hurt.

Jenny - posted on 11/08/2012

My daughter was 5lbs 2oz when born, so she was pretty small. But I got the epidural about six hours after my water broke. The contractions before the epidural were very painful. It is almost like there is no position that is comfortable and it is all you can think about. And if you wanna know what it feels like.. I guess it's like being horribly, horribly constipated, lol. So personally I can't imagine natural birth without the epidural. But after they gave it to me, I honestly didn't feel a thing. I had to concentrate very hard though, because I couldn't really tell when my body was pushing or not so classes before hand helped. The delivery was absolutely painless. I'd say it's the few weeks after that are the worst of it. But that's my individual experience and everyone is different, so I guess ya never really know.

Valerie - posted on 11/08/2012

While I was pregnant, someone told me they had heard that giving birth was practically the worst pain in the world, second only to death by fire. Now that I've gone through it, I think that was a huge exageration. It hurts, but it's manageable.



I'd been taught the benefits of having a natural birth: less time pushing, less chance of having to use forceps to get the baby out, a more alert baby, a smoother start for breastfeeding... So I went in there telling myself I would *try* not to have an epidural - but I wouldn't beat myself up if the pain got to be more than I could handle.



The first phase of my labor was quite long, about 23 hours. Most of it was really manageable. But as the contractions got more painful, they weren't getting any closer together, and we thought we were going to be there for days. By that point, I would have accepted some pain relief, because I was growing too exhausted to handle the pain (I had slept badly that week, and my contractions had started in the middle of the night), but the nurse said there wasn't much she could give me until my contractions were closer. Fortunately, things finally started to accelerate dramatically: the contractions got a lot worse, and a lot closer, really fast.



The next couple of hours were rough. I think everyone experiences labor differently, but in my case, it felt like someone was applying enormous pressure to my lower back. It felt like my back would be completely broken in the morning (it wasn't). I was screaming as they wheeled me into the delivery room. After a really bad contraction, I gave in and told my husband I wanted the epidural - because I figured, at the rate things had been going (I was only 4 cm dilated an hour before), this was probably going to take a long time, and I knew the pain was going to get worse. But before I could ask for the epi, they checked my cervix and... surprise! I was completely dilated!



It would have been too late for the epi, but I didn't want it anymore. Those last few contractions are the worst: pushing is actually a reflief. And that's when I was glad to not have received the epidural: I could feel the (comparatively painless) contractions coming on, and could push efficiently at the right times. Baby was out of there in half an hour, with eyes wide open!



People have compared pushing to going to the bathroom, and it's actually true: it's like taking a giant dump (not very romantic, but accurate). I did feel the "ring of fire" when the baby crowned, but it really was nothing compared to the last contractions, and the pain subsided quickly. They ended up doing an episiotomy, but I tore anyway - and honestly, I don't even remember feeling it. By that point, I was too focused on getting the baby out, and every push felt like a victory because I was getting closer to holding my baby. The nurses were cheering me on, which helped a lot.



In retrospect, I think the scariest thing was not knowing what to expect. Of course, every labor is different, but now that I've gone through one, I think I'll try a natural birth again for the next one. But it's a personal decision every woman should make for herself. Good luck!

Kayla - posted on 11/08/2012

In my personal experience: I had an epidural with my 1st, 36 hours of labour was tiring, but near the end I felt absolutely nothing, because of the epidural. My 2nd, I had no epidural, 22 hours of labour, and it hurt like hell. I chose not to get an epidural with my 2nd because I had complications with it the first time. When I asked the nurse what it would feel like actually pushing baby out, she said "like a burning ring of fire" Honestly, it is really painful without it, but in the end, you don't remember all that pain, you will be holding your little bundle of joy :) Just remember to stay calm, and breath properly, whether you get an epidural or not. Good luck!

Ericka - posted on 11/08/2012

don't let your grandmother scare you. its not all that bad how tv makes it look and people trying to scare you. birth is the most amazing thing to experience.

Patti - posted on 11/07/2012

The best thing you can do to minimize discomfort during labor, is to take Bradley classes. I have experienced both medicated and natural childbirth and natural is 1000x better. Your baby comes out without all those drugs in his/her system, breastfeed easier, you can brag about how you had no medication during your baby's birth, you feel empowered that you did it all natural, it is amazing. All those drugs steals the feeling of "I can do anything" from women who give birth. Watch the movie "The Business of Being Born" and read the book "Supernatural Childbirth" and you'll get a better understanding of the whole process :-)

Diann - posted on 11/06/2012

Mine None existent! 45 minutes and she was here. My younger sister 2 days. DAYS! and had to get c section. My older sister had issues with a Breach, but Youngest Sister was like me 45 minutes and she was here. EVERYONE is different.

GO with your gut, GO with your heart. Remember that this is the MOST AWESOME EXPERIENCE that as women we are blessed to have!

Stephanie - posted on 11/06/2012

It is very painful I went almost all the way through labor with my second child before getting my epidural. I suggest if your going to get an epidural do it before the contractions get too bad cus its hard to set still with painful contractions. I had an epidural with both of my children and no problems with it and both of my children are completely healthy.

Serene - posted on 11/06/2012

Merindah is right, I totally forgot about that part. But yeah during the contractions you feel like you have to poop. Thank goodness my doctor gave me an enema because I would have definitely pooped! With each contraction I did gush amniotic fluid out.

Bonnie - posted on 11/06/2012

I know you've had a few replies already but I wanted to add my experience to save you some pain. I was all about pain meds in both my deliveries but I had two very different experiences. With my first my water broke and I had to be induced. I was only 3cm when I asked for my epidural and I was in desperate need (crying, hunched up in ball). The pain relief was good and I slept most of the night. In the morning they said it was time to push. As a new mom they explained to me they would lessen the epidural so I could feel the contractions. WORST THING EVER! It took me 1h 45m to push him out and I was in terrible pain, lost complete control and swore like a sailor. Afterwards I was so swollen and in a lot of pain down below. It seemed awful to me that I had asked for pain meds then when the time came when I needed it the most it was taken away.

The second time around I made it perfectly clear to my doctors and nurses that I wanted pain relief the WHOLE time!. I ended up getting two spinals total rather than an epidural. I got my first spinal at about 230am at 4-5cm and the contractions didn't seem as unmanagable as the first time around. I got my second spinal at about 730am when I was about 8-9 cm. By 830 I was 10cm and my nurse suggested I tell the doctor that I was feeling the urge to push (even though I wasn't really) so I could deliver while my spinal was in full force. I pushed for 25m and he slid right out. I was able to stop pushing when my doctor asked me and I felt like I stayed in control. I was able to switch up positions so I could squat. I could feel the pressure but not so much pain. Afterwards, I didn't feel as swollen down below as the first time around (even though I ended up having 2 stitches. I think my quick recovery and delivery of my second son was largely due to having enough pain control. I think the lack of pain control in my first delivery slowed me down and hastened my progress.

Just make sure to advocate for yourself. If you want pain relief during the pushing make it clear right away. Good luck!

Temeka - posted on 11/06/2012

Yes, it hurts hahahahaha of course it hurts a human is coming out of your lady parts. The epidural helps but you can't get it until you have progressed so far. I labored for 25 hours, I received an epidural at hour 21 then pushed for another 3 hours and she finally had to be pulled out with forceps. Stubborn stubborn child-her head did not crown and she couldn't' get under my pelvic bone. Luckily the forceps left no marks (my dr does not like to perform c-sections on first time moms if the baby is not in distress) and she has a nice round head...



The pain goes away instantly so try not to think about it too much. Enjoy your pregnancy and all that comes with being an expectant mom. You will never be prepared for labor, not even possible!!!!

Merindah - posted on 11/06/2012

I didn't have an epidural.

Yes, it is possibly the most INTENSE pain you will probably ever have. I could handle the contractions up to a point, but the massive pressure, (kind of like taking a huge poo.) is what got me. It was an involuntary unpleasant feeling sometimes.

The ring of fire as you crown, is very well named, as it burns like hell. But, the amazing thing is, once that little body passes, the pain completely stops. It's like a switch. And it's an amazing feeling when it's done.

Clare - posted on 11/04/2012

i was induced which until i had the epidural it was extremely painful but after i didn't feel a thing i actually went to sleep for an hour and a half. my labor for my first child was 4 hours from start to finish.

Serene - posted on 11/04/2012

Also the epidural did not hurt. Just listen to and follow the instructions of the doctor doing it, sit or lay the way they tell you to and don't move. My anathesiologist (sp?) told me to tell me each time I was having a contraction so he would know to not do anything at that point. While they are inserting it you cannot touch your back, and when you are having contractions you kinda feel like touching your back or where the pain is. So I told the nurse to hold down my hands when I was having a contraction. Lol I know silly but you don't want to do anything that can mess up the epidural and cause nerve damage. I just told myself this is to help with the pain, and stay still and all will be fine. - And it was! :-) Good luck and don't worry.

Serene - posted on 11/04/2012

Im a ftm and just had my little one 2 weeks ago. For me the worst part was the contractions. It was extreme pain and seizing up of my back and uterus. It was so bad I thought I was going to break the handle off the hospital bed. After the epidural (which I highly recommend ) I didn't feel the contractions, thank goodness! The delivery process/pushing was tiring but again because of the epidural I didn't feel any pain.

Keli - posted on 11/03/2012

Dont Psych yourself out i heard all sorts of scary stuff.and for me it was not bad at all, I had contractions that just felt like angry Menstural cramps. i sat on my couch until 6cm dilated and decided to go to the hospital because i was bleeding a bit. my labor was easy and drug free i barely made a sound. Nurse told me to brace myself during crowning because she said it would burn but i didnt even notice. its hard to descibe the feeling of the actual birth part. The only downside too my experience was my son was delivered sunny side up and was stuck,the only anastisiast was not in town so i couldnt have a c-cection so it resulted in a 4th degree tare and surgery after that. lots of pain there.:(

Ashtyn - posted on 11/03/2012

dont

Ashtyn - posted on 11/03/2012

Thank you Andrea. I'm 17 and so scared. I'm 24 weeks pregnant with twin girls and just got admitted to the hospital in strict bed rest I am 4 cm dilated but they have got the labor under control now. your stories seem like the worst that could happen. I'm determined to have my babies vaginally. I really ding want a c section

Andrea - posted on 11/03/2012

everyone is different. with my son i was in labor for a total of 13 hours. i got an epi at 4cm, and that was trying to wait as long as i possibly could. my epi only numbed half of me [i refused to have them do it over b/c my contractions were bad enough, and i hate how they have to do it during a contraction so i was just flat out scared of it all over again not to mention they showed me the needle so i freaked out (apparently b/c i have tattoos i shouldnt be afraid of needles but boy were they wrong)] and while pushing my son got "stuck" and decided to start turning himself. i had 2 doctors trying to spin him back around. when he came out his cord was wrapped around his neck 5/6 times. i pushed for 3 hours and we almost did a c-section, but he finally came out after getting the vacuum.



with my daughter i got the epi at 3cm [my nurse pretty much forced me into getting it that early b/c i was balling my eyes out curled up in a little ball on the hospital bed] and immediately found out that she moved her arm to the side/on top of her head [in which is a rare thing for a doctor to find during labor, my obgyn has been delivering babies for over 30 years and this was the first time it had ever happened on her watch let alone in the hospital i delivered at with all the staff that was working. i was known as the mom who had the baby waving as she was coming out] and was grabbing the doctors hands for my exams. they tried pushing it back down b/c she was "tearing" me from the inside out, but they were afraid to break her arm/collar bone and i was screaming from the immense pain [the epi worked 100% that time]. i wound up going in for an emergency c-section within 10-15 min of getting my epi.



every delivery is different, all babies are different, and so is the mom giving birth. if women couldn't handle the pain and hard work of child birth we wouldn't be able to have babies. of course all the pain in the world is worth it once you see your child for the first time, and most people say you forget the pain immediately [im still trying to forget the pain my son put me through almost 4 years ago, i can remember it like it just happened 4 seconds ago]. go in with an open mind, be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!! i know my stories may sound like horror stories, but not everyone has bad experiences like i have with my children. i know people that have gotten an epi, it works immediately, they passed out for 4 hours woke up and it was time to push which only took 10-30 min tops. dont let other people stories give you high hopes or discourage you either, your completely different from every person out there and your labor will be 100% different from everyone posting on here and whom ever else you speak to.



good luck, and i hope which ever way you decide to have you baby both of you's are healthy and it is as easy and painless for you as possible!!

Diana - posted on 11/03/2012

Everyone has different pain tolerance and babys are all different shapes and sizes, so your Latrobe will be your own. I'm a first time mom and I worked through out my pregnancy so I wasn't fortunate enough to make it to birthing classes. Since the ones offered at my hospital conflicted with my schedule. I went 2 days let and I remember bein terrified and preparing myself for the worst. My older sister had a 12 hour Labor with an epi. So I was told her horror story will on the way to the hospital. I didn't want an epi I was very scared but determined to go natural, and at the hospital I learned that since I have a prexisting back condition they wouldn't do one anyway. Contractions for me were like menstrual cramping, I had 15 minutes of active labor and seriously the pressure from the baby and pushing for me acted like a numbing agent. Good luck and remember to breathe

Sarah - posted on 11/02/2012

For me I would best describe the contractions like the worst menstral cramps you have ever had 10x over. It hurts, but like others have said take the birthing classes and learn how to get through that pain. It is amazing what the mind can do. Also you are going to feel the some of the pain no matter if you get an epidural or not as you can't get an epidural until you are so many centimeters dialated. Also be prepared that there might be a situation where you can't get an epidural. With my first I was not dialating very well and one side effect the epidural has is stopping your contractions, so with that I was not able to get an epidural.



I remember my mom telling me that they call labor labor for a reason. I would have to agree with that. It is hard work! It is not easy and it does hurt, BUT you can get through it. Look at all those that have gone through it only to do it again :)

Sally - posted on 11/02/2012

Giving birth is hard work and it hurts but YOU CAN DO IT. Epidurals are not good for your baby or for you and they seriously increase your chances of other more dangerous interventions. Take a good child birth class and learn natural coping techniques.

Good luck

Jennifer - posted on 11/01/2012

Ashtyn,



I have to agree with Mary. I have only had the privilege of having one child, but I chose the non-medicated Bradley Method. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I could!!!! It was the most beautiful experience and so empowering. I'm not going to lie, it is painful, but like Mary said - we are designed for this. It isn't more than we can handle. You can also set an "I'm serious I really changed my mind and want meds" word beforehand if you decide it's not the way for you.



I chose the Bradley Method on the recommendation of a friend who also used it. This program is a 12-week class that teaches you what is going on, why, and how to work WITH your body. Knowing what to expect and how to manage it decreases the pain because you are not fighting it. Fighting makes it worse. You learn different techniques and postions. For example - on your back in the bed is the worst possible position for comfort when giving birth. You learn to tune in and listen to your body and where it is leading you.



Also, the most painful part are the contractions. They make you wait until a certain time before administering an epidural. So, really, you are often about halfway there before they give you the meds anyway. Pushing doesn't really hurt like you'd expect. Some people have described it as feeling like you have to have a big BM. It was that way for me. The baby's head pushes on the nerves and stops the pain!



I would seriously encourage you to REALLY research the commonly used medications and various techniques so you can make a well informed decision for you and your precious little one.



Best of luck. This is going to be the coolest thing you've ever done! :)

Mary - posted on 11/01/2012

I would reconsider getting an epidural. Research it for yourself of course, but there is evidence it does affect the baby. Also, the immediate postpartum experience without it is amazing. (I've experienced both ways, with an epidural for a c-section, then a natural birth.) Labor hurts, but you have a really interesting hormone called oxytocin which is pretty much a miracle hormone. :) You end up in sort of a labor zone where nothing outside of labor registers, and you just get pulled through it. Both of my labors were very intense, and I definitely had times when I felt I couldn't make it through, but the fact is that you can, we are designed for it. And then after the birth, the oxytocin that your body pumps through you if you don't have medication to mess things up, makes you pretty much forget what you just went through, and helps you bond with your newborn, and helps your milk production get started, and on top of all of that gives you a really awesome warm fuzzy glowy feeling. Labor you will forget (if you have a natural birth). That awesome warm fuzzy feeling you will never forget. I would go through a lot longer labor than I did (20 hours with my first) for the privelege of having the immediate postpartum experience be completely natural.

Amy - posted on 11/01/2012

Be mentally prepared for the worst that way if you don't feel it's that bad you can brag about how it wasn't that bad. I had an open mind about what I was going to do, I tried to do it without anything but both my labors were in the middle of the night so when my doctor told me I could get some sleep if I got the epidural I was all for it! During my first labor they didn't turn it down soon enough so I felt nothing, I couldn't even tell if I was pushing which was only about 5 minutes before my son was born. With my daughter the doctor wasn't that great so he had to do the needle in the back twice which is painful but the thought of not feeling a thing afterwards makes it very bearable. With my daughter I felt pressure and I knew she was ready to deliver but I as ready to be up and around within an hour of delivering.



I can't say what it feels like to deliver because I didn't feel it, I'm sure someone who hasn't had an epidural will respond.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/01/2012

It is not called labor for nothing. Getting the epi (if you have a good anesthesiologist) is nothing compared to contractions. I didn't even feel it.



There is no way to explain how childbirth feels. One thing, it does feel like your body is hijacked. You have no control over your body.