how do i get my baby to fall asleep on his own???

Nikita - posted on 05/18/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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my son is 6weeks old and we have 2 let him fall asleep in our living room b4 we can put him in his crib!!! he has started to want to be held all the time or bounced in his bouncer and that is the only way he will fall asleep other than when hes feeding, i need to be able to do things around the flat but cant because evry time i start he wakes up and screams should i try to let him cry him self to sleep or is it to early and if so how long untill i go and settle him down?

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Brittany - posted on 05/25/2009

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My daughter just turned 4 weeks old and she's been doing that since she was brought home. It got to the point where we would try to put her in her crib and she would wake up crying. She wouldn't take a pacifier, we'd check that she didn't have a dirty diaper or need to be burped. Then we'd check to see if she wanted a bottle. We'd put it to her mouth and she'd start sucking. We would pick her up to feed her and she would stop sucking and just look around.



We dit the CIO method, but I wouldn't let her cry for more than 10 minutes because it breaks my heart. The other night I let her CIO for longer until she fell asleep because she wants to sleep in my bed and her dad has almost rolled over on her a couple times. The other night was hard, but now that I've seen that it will work and she was fine I can do it now. Last night, I layed her in her crib, gave her her pacifier and turned on her music, she layed there looking around and then went straight to sleep. After one of 3 feedings she wouldn't go back to bed and I had to let her cry. She wouldn't take her pacifier but after she cried for 5 mins i tried to give her the pacifier again. She took it and went back to sleep. Last night was so much easier and she's getting the hang of sleeping in the crib and falling alseep on her own.

Nikita - posted on 05/25/2009

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thank u all 4 ur comments i have started 2 feed him between 7/8 and sum days giving him a bath just b4 his feed and we put him bed after his feed and he falls asleep on his own he has also started to sleep from about 8pm until 4am it seems to be going great now he is a very happy baby and constantly smiling and trying 2 talk :) x

Ez - posted on 05/20/2009

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Quoting Christine:

 So, daddy can clean the house when he gets home - I'll just sit and hold her all day if that is what she wants. :-)



Ha ha how does Daddy feel about that?!? ;-) Seriously though, I agree with you on the household chores - everything but the bare essentials can wait. A tiny baby can't, and shouldn't have to. The world won't end because you have a couple of days worth of laundry piled up....

Christine - posted on 05/20/2009

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I'm going through the same thing with my 7 week old. If I try to put her down just to use the bathroom, she cries. She wants to be held constantly. She even sleeps with us (i bought a little bed that goes between my husband and I in bed). I have found Dr. Sears website very helpful. I like his style of parenting and he and his wife have several kids of their own, so he jus isn't spouting off - he speaks from experience as well as medical experience. I'm not a big fan of the "cry it out" method. It hurts my heart to hear her cry. So, daddy can clean the house when he gets home - I'll just sit and hold her all day if that is what she wants. :-)

Kylie - posted on 05/20/2009

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Just because it's in a book doesn't mean it's correct. People who support cry it out always say never do it before 6 months of age. What is the book your reading called?

Jessica - posted on 05/20/2009

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I'm currently reading this book and they say to let your baby cry themselves to sleep. The first couple of nights will be long, but once you get it under control while he's young he will fall asleep without you. I put my son to bed everynight at 7:30pm and the first 3 nights or so he cried 45min the first night decreasing every night after that. Now by 7:30pm he is ready to go to bed and I don't have to feed him to go to sleep anymore. (he's a sucker and that's how he fell asleep.) It will kill you to hear them cry, but it does really work. Every so often like every 10-15 min check on him tell him it's okay and it's time for bed and then walk back out and close the door eventually babies get worn out and they will fall asleep.

Ez - posted on 05/20/2009

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I do think 6 weeks is too young to let him 'cry himself to sleep', but as another poster said, as his Mum you'll know the difference between him having a grumble on his way to sleep and him screaming because he doesn't now how to go off to sleep without the comfort of his mother. Also, my baby nurse suggests giving babies a 'grace period' of the first 6-8 weeks, and taking this advice made those first crazy weeks much more relaxed for both me and my daughter. This means that in the short term you follow his lead, with the idea that this will increase his trust and confidence in you to and he will be better able to separate from you a bit later. Trying to force a baby to do anything at such a young age is destined for failure - that's why a lot of experts recommend holding off on setting a routine until after the 8 weeks.

Until my daugher was 9 weeks old she was exactly as you've decribed his son. And I completely understand the frustration at spending an hour rocking your baby to sleep only to have them wake up as soon as you lay them down! I taught my daughter to go to sleep by herself without letting her cry it out. I paid attention to her tired signs and when the time was right I wrapped/swaddled her tightly (highly recommend this!), still gave her a quiet cuddle in her room for a few minutes then lay her down. When she cried, and she did the first few times, I comforted her with a pat and a 'sssshhhhh' but only picked her up if absolutely necessary. I didn't talk or give eye contact - just reassured her with my presence and touch. Within 2 days she felt safe and secure enough to just go off by herself. Now, at 3 1/2 months, I wrap her, kiss her and lay her down where she promptly gives me a grin before I leave the room. So precious... Obviously she has days where she's cranky or overtired and I have to go in to her to settle her, but vast majority of the time she has no trouble falling asleep on her own.

Ashley - posted on 05/18/2009

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My daughter was the same and the best thing I ever did was lay her down awake on her tummy. I know it's not recommended but I would spend forever rocking her only to have her startle herself awake the minute I put her down. I started putting her down on her tummy when she was showing tired signs (at 6 weeks it was usually only an hour or so) and she would cry for a few minutes and then fall asleep and stay asleep for a good 2 hours, sometimes 3. It's hard when they are so little and you know they need so much sleep. I met with a sleep doula that specializes in infant sleep and getting babies to fall asleep on their own. She gave me age appropriate expectations of how much sleep they should have at a time and how long to give them to learn to fall asleep. At your baby's age she recommends giving them about 15 minutes to cry before going to assess what's wrong. If there is an obvious problem (spit-up in their face, poopy diaper, etc.) she says to eliminate the problem without disturbing them too much. If there is spit up, cover it up, move the baby down and leave them alone...if there is poop, change their diaper in their crib, then flip them back over on their tummy and give them 15 more minutes to fall asleep. It's completely up to you and what you feel comfortable with, I'm just letting you know what worked for my baby. It was such a help.

Krista - posted on 05/18/2009

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I asked the same question at six weeks, because I was worried I'd get a bad habit started and end up having to rock a 3 year old to sleep every night! I ended up rocking my son to sleep and carefully placing him in his crib until about 4 months. By that point he got too heavy to carry around for so long! He's six months now, and sometimes he falls asleep right away, and sometimes he still cries and needs to be cuddled. We pick him up after a couple minutes of crying, soothe him, and lay him down again, until he falls asleep. I'd enjoy the cuddles with your little baby while you can and put him to sleep the way he likes to be put to sleep for now.

Kylie - posted on 05/18/2009

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I wouldn't have him cry himself to sleep at this young age. But it is a good time to be putting your baby down awake and letting him drift off on his own. I think the trick is after hes been fed look out for the tired signs, most baby's this age cannot handle being awake for any longer than an hour at a time and if you let your baby get overtired he will fight going to sleep. Swaddle him, maybe turn on a fan for some white noise or play some soft lullaby music and place him in his cot. If he starts to cry pick him up and cuddle him until he is relaxed and nearly asleep and lay him back down. He may fuss a little but you know the difference between a sleepy grizzle and an i need you cry. If you make nap times predictable and at the same time every day he will enjoy the familiarity of going to sleep. To be honest i never taught my infant to fall asleep on his own, i would nurse or cuddle him then place in in his bed but this worked for me because i swaddled him and used white noise so he would stay asleep. If he sleeps well in the lounge in his bouncer could you just leave him there for his naps? or do you have a baby carrier? These are great as he can sleep and be close to you and you can get some things done at the same time. I think be flexible, baby's grow up so quickly, enjoy every moment while you can, if you have to choose rocking and cuddling your baby or vacuuming the house, the house can wait. You may need to mix your routine up a bit and rest or sleep while hes sleeping and when hes up talk to him while you work. It really about finding the right balance that works for your family. There is a lot of information out there on the detrimental effects of letting young babies cry it out, you may want to research this a little further. Good luck!

User - posted on 05/18/2009

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I would put him in his own bed to sleep when he is showing his tired signs...if he cries (which he probably will do)...go and check to see if he's got wind/dirty nap etc...give him a quick cuddle and put him back in his bed. I would leave him for 15 min if he's crying. He has to learn to go to sleep himself....by himself! Make sure he's happy before going to bed...as this makes it easier for him...if he's overtired it's not a good combo!! 15 min of crying won't 'damage' him....or make him feel insecure.

Good luck with it ...it's the best thing to teach your baby!

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