how is you and your husband/boyfriend relationship after baby??

Elizabeth - posted on 04/29/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My husband hardly says anything romantic or sweet to me since my son was born in September,( he's almost 8 months now) i just want him to show me he cares about me i know he still loves me but it's just like things have changed. He rarely shows any affection towards me, we still have a good sex life but it's just like things romantically have gone down the drain. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing, I don't know what to do! :(

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I think my husband is jealous of our daughter. This sounds bad but I used to shower him with affection and love. Now that my almost 7 month daughter is here I shower her with love and attention and by the end of the day I am so tired to even acknowledge my love for him.

Could you possibly be acting different towards him?

Sarah - posted on 04/29/2010

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I think going from no kids to kids does change a relationship. There is another person that requires your time and attention. Your priorities change. So this changes the relationship. Best thing is for the two of you to talk about things (without fighting). Really talk and listen to each other. Try to understand the other person's points and feelings. Figure out what things each of you could do to make the other person feel better. Also know that there are going to be different stages in your marriage/life. The dating stage tends to be A LOT of romance (that is what keeps you both interested). Marriage is a different stage. That does not mean the romance leaves just because you are married, but you are now with each other all the time so not always is romance always thought about. This is one reason why marriage is work....you have to remember to date and romance each other again. Sometimes it is also not who plans the romance just that the romance is done, so plan a special supper after your son goes to bed, or a nice bath for two.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/29/2010

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sometimes i think i pay more attention to my son than him & i've wondered about that but when i do give him attention it's like i'm annoying him we fight a lot...sometimes i think we may have rushed getting married he's 20 and i'm 19 i got pregnant before we got married. I love him so much and i just wish things could go back to the way they were & i know i dont always treat him the best either i snap at him a lot about things, he seems to always think i'm "nagging"

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Fairest Dakota - posted on 02/04/2014

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my boyfriend has not been the same since I had my son, he is now 6 weeks old and my boyfriend hasn't really been wanting to hold him. he calls me lazy sometimes he even puts me down on some things just today he forgot to come by and pick me and his son up after work. I guess it didn't re cross his mind I don't know but im scared our relationship is going no where and I do not know what the cause of this was. he just started being like this out of no where. we have not had inter course but once since I gave birth and he does not understand that I still hurt he acts like he is jealous of our son just because I pay more attention to him but I have to, he is just a baby. I don't know what to do. can anyone give me advice I really love this man and I want to marry him but I don't know if he feels the same about me anymore cause he has not showed it....

Elizabeth - posted on 04/30/2010

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thank you everyone for your advice & support at first i didn't think i would get any help because i thought i was the only person dealing with this!
chelsea-
me & my husband joke around a lot also but sometime i just want him to be serious like you i know he loves me but i just need him to SHOW IT. :)
kelsey-
i also breastfed :) i would love to go to counseling, i think it would help us a lot but my husband is one of those people who think it's stupid that you should work things out yourself but we are def having big trouble doing that.. some days are good but those are rare, and he always shows me sexual affection but thats the only affection i get.

Kelsey - posted on 04/30/2010

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my husband said he was kind of jealous of the baby. cause i was breastfeeding and it was something he couldn't do, which meant she was spending all her time with me. we barely had time for sex, but i started noticing that we were getting distant after the first few weeks after she was born. i mentioned and we started to talk about how we felt and all that stuff. we are actually seeing a counselor about our communication and expressing our feelings to each other. its really helping. just because you go to see a counselor doesnt mean your on the verge off divorcing, but in my opinion it means that we both care enough about our relationship to get some outside help to help us see each others side and feelings. my husband tries to be romantic, but it usually falls through lol my husband shows me a lot of affection, but its usually sexual affection, which i mentioned and hes toned it down and started to show me real affection. i really think that communication is key and that you should probably talk to him about how you feel and ask him what he thinks and how he feels.

Brandy - posted on 04/30/2010

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I have been with my boyfriend for almost 10 years, our little girl is 6 months. I just hope it gets better, and the sooner the better!

Chelsea Cleo - posted on 04/29/2010

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Hey Elizabeth.

When my daughter was just born my partner and I were really close, this lasted for a while and then we started to get a bit distant.
We get along, we laugh, we talk sometimes and I know he loves me but i dont hear sweet things anymore like I used to. We dont do anything romantic together and it hurts a bit. Sometimes I need to hear nice things so I know how your feeling! I dont know what to do either, i have tried talking to him but guys dont get it like we do lol

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