how long is to long to let 2.5 month old cry himself to sleep?

Yvanna - posted on 01/27/2009

ok, so i just want to thank everyone again for their opinions and advice. it was all very helpful and it made me to not feel like a bad mom, and to know that im ok in whatever or however i decide to handle my son. i see that a some of you allow your infants to sleep in their car seat. well i decided last night at 11 that i would put him in his swing chair. we have a stages swing and the chair comes out so i rocked him, placed him in my room and put the bar out that turns it into an infant chair. he fell asleep but woke up. i put my hand on his belly and he found his thumb, put himself back to sleep and slept till 4 this a.m. he woke to nurse and get changed and into his crib he went, thumb and all. when i went to check on him at 630 he was stirring and found his thumb and again put himself back to sleep. i guess it's just the reassurance at night that i will be there when he needs me helped. a lot of you said to do what is right for our family and i think we found our nitch, finally. i can't do the ferber method because i can't stand to hear him cry that much and that long. 10 minutes killed me! thank you all again!

Angella - posted on 01/26/2009

my son was just over 6 months before he learned the whole sooting himself to sleep.  my husband and i used the ferber method and in 2 days, yes 2 days, my lil guy was soothing himself  to sleep.  sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night but it's for a very short period and doesn't require anyone going in to soothe him.  he is now almost 9 months and i'm still getting used to the fact that he can put himself to sleep  :-)  i do wish u the best of luck!!!!!

Steffany - posted on 01/26/2009

We also had problems getting our daughter (6 weeks) to sleep in her bassinet vs the carseat.  We proped up the mattress and she sleeps from 9pm till 3 am without a sound. I also wrapped a warm blanket that her and I had both cuddled with around the mattress so she could still smell me.

Yvanna - posted on 01/26/2009

ok well i am happy others do the same as me. the paci is hard. he will take it but pops it out and gets mad, lol. its been a while since i had a baby around. and he is so different than my first! im also a firm believer that lots of love and time spent is the reason i had kids. will be long nights for a while but it'll be worth it since i can't get this sweet precious cuddle time back!

Melissa - posted on 01/26/2009

My daughter is about the same age and was doing the same thing. I hold her now until she is just about to fall asleep and then I lay her down. It has been working great. I give her a pacifier and a really soft blanket also!

Emily - posted on 01/26/2009

Our ped. suggests that self soothing can start around 6mos

Robyn - posted on 01/26/2009

Hello Ladies!

I will have to agree with Ally!  I read up on the new findings of the Ferber Method, and I guess it may not be the way to go and it was the method of the "past'  However, I never remember letting them just cry out for hours....we checked on them every 1, then 2 then 3 minutes and it worked!   My girls are 8 and 9 year sold.

With the new findings, I wonder how my girls will turn out?  They are just wonderful!  :o)

Do what works best for your family! 

Kera - posted on 01/26/2009

i am a firm believer in doing whatever works for you and your baby.  i have a 3.5 month old who is just starting to learn to fall asleep on her own.  she will only fall asleep if i am holding her and patting her back and would not sleep in anything but a carseat, but a friend of mine reccomended that i get a bassinet and a matress wedge to elevate her head and it was like a miracle.  once i put her in there at night she goes right to sleep and sleeps through the night

Yvanna - posted on 01/26/2009

thank you for all your suggestions. im going to just keep doing what i have been doing, just rocking nursing and loving him to sleep until he gets a bit older. im a stay at home mom for the simple reason that i want to be here for my boys, their needs, and their well being. thanks again!

Lois - posted on 01/26/2009

I agree that 2.5 months is too young to self sooth.  My daughter is 3.5 months and she's just starting to go on a schedule.  What I do is put her down drowsey but awake and she seems to sleep a bit longer.  The "let them cry" method doesn't work until about 6-7 months of age, so very surprise your doc would recommend it.  Another thing that worked for me too was the "Sleep-rite"  which you can buy at any Toys R Us(http://www.toysrus.ca/product/index.jsp?..., Walmart...  It's used to make them feel like they're still being held as well keeps them from rolling over.  According to the package it helps to prevent SIDS by keeping them on their back.  I used it for both my kids and seemed to help.

Ally - posted on 01/26/2009

We have a monitor called the baby sense 5. It monitors even the slightest of movements and registers breathing as a movement. It has worked perfectly and given me a huge peace of mind when she naps. If it doesnt sense any movement in ten seconds it sounds an alarm it also sounds an alarm if there are less than ten movements in one minute. It has only gone off one time and my daughter had scooted and put her Face in between both bumpers ..it may be something you want to try just for added peace of mind!

Yvanna - posted on 01/26/2009

i have not given him anything in his crib that smells like me. i had to go to a memorial service for a 6 month old last week who passed due to sids. i have had a really hard time with it and have tried to take all precautions so nothing happens to him. he is in his crib in his own room.

Ally - posted on 01/26/2009

your baby is still waayy to young to be expected to self soothe...i am a registered nurse and the cry it out method is no longer recomended by most docs...here are a couple blurbs from the baby sleep book.about the topic..



quote taken from the "baby sleep book" written by 3 pediatrcians and a nurse...



pg 213 "Using cry it out is analogous to giving a child medication that appears to work well but has not undergone extensive safety testing, and preliminary testing shows some severe side effects. No doctor would ever dream of prescribing such a medication , and no parent would ever think of using one. Whenever a medication is found to have harmful side effects that outweigh its usefullness it is immediately taken off the market. Why shouldn't parenting practices hold to the same standard? We look forward to the day when medical experts and parents alike will recognize the scientific basis for the harmful effects of crying it out, and this alarming practice will become a thing of the past"



pg 212 list the harmul effects from two separate studies ..."prolonged crying it out in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood flow draining out of the brain and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently and comprehensively."



the authors website list many ways to soothe your sleepless baby...it is www.askdrsears.com

* i would also find a new doc*

Heather - posted on 01/26/2009

Have you tried to give him a blanket that you have slept with or a shirt that you have worn?

Are you putting him in his crib or in a bassinet?

Robyn - posted on 01/26/2009

Good Morning Yvanna!

Have you tried the Ferber method?  I have attached a link www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-d...   It worked great for our girls.

10 minutes is a long time for a baby, take a moment to ferber him and he will tend to calm down.  It does take alot of dicipline and follow through with both you and your spouse.  But when all of you have mastered it, it is a great thing!  :)

I hope this helps!

Robyn

www.LiveTotalWellness.com/RobynBrown