How long should the mother in law stay

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Shara - posted on 08/23/2011

5

17

0

As long as you want her there. Ultimately you are the mom of your family. You need to be confident in your decisions and it is hard to do that with any other mother in your space. If she makes you uncomfortable or makes you second guess yourself, that will reflect in your parenting. This thought goes for anyone in your home that is not a permanent resident. Motherhood is trial an error for the most part, what works with one child may not work with another. It is very important that you learn your child's personality and needs without the interference of others so you can adjust your parenting style to fit your child, not how someone thinks you should be parenting your child.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Christina - posted on 08/27/2011

4

14

0

LOL...Its so funny how regardless of race or background how we all have similar issues... :) When my husband and I had our first daughter, she was a preemie---his mom and grandma were dying to be here. Per my MDs advice, we didn't let anyone stay with us until she had her first three sets immunizations--This was wonderful as it allowed him a chance to step up and father our child and it gave us time to develop a routine for our new family. When I let family come, I was better able to tell them how they could help and what our processes were. For our second child, I let his grandma come for 2 weeks and my mom came for the same amount of time. I found this to be very helpful because they were able to entertain our oldest while I gave the new baby attention. If you get along well with your MIL and she will be helpful, I would say to let her come after you and hubby have some time with the baby ( I think its important for you all to bond with the baby first). Whatever you decide make sure you talk it over with your husband in advance so you're both on the same page and you have his support----you have every right to be able to request the help you need--when you need it--for as long as you need it. I learned the hard way that grandparents (esp the in laws) can be very pushy if you allow it. I say start the relationship honest and respectful--with the much needed boundaries from the start. :)

Meghan - posted on 08/22/2011

2

3

0

Depends, I don't even want mine in the same city (she's a lot of things and tolerable isn't one of them). Others have great relationships and could have their stay awhile. It's a personal choice to balance your sanity both with help and not so helpful comments or the feeling of being intruded on.

Anita - posted on 08/21/2011

51

16

3

My MIL is nice enough, but she would be more of a hinderance than a help! So more then a day is too long for me! lol Now my own mother.... my partner gets on well enough and she is a great help, but i reckon he would say 2 weeks is plenty, but he doesn't get a say! lol I am having my 4th soon and my Mum will be here. Coming from overseas. She will be here for 11 days. For me that is not long enough, but it is a tricky time of year and she does have a life and family to deal with at home too.

Sharon - posted on 08/12/2011

840

22

154

Mine was here for 4mths!!!! OMG, let me tell you, that is WAY TOO LONG! hahaha.
She's lovely and all, but NOT helpful in the slightest. We had just moved to the other side of the country and didn't know anyone, so she came when I was 36wks so we had someone to watch our other son just incase something happened. Then I had a c-section, so there was another 6wks, then she kept making excuses not to go. If she helped a bit, like she was meant to after the c-section I wouldn't have minded, but she didn't do a thing (not even wash one cup!). She did wonderful with our eldest son though, who was only 17mths when the new baby was born.
If I did it again, I would say after the 6wks recovery it's time to leave. If I had of had a vaginal delivery I would have said 2, maybe 3wks.

Kandy - posted on 08/12/2011

94

11

7

I agree with Lise. It all depends on your relationship with your MIL. I know that I can barely stand being around my MIL for a couple of hours so I don't know how long I would be able to have her stay in my home (we don't get along so well). So whatever you are comfortable with.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms