I constantly worry about delivering my first vaginally...can anyone give me relief?!

Nicole - posted on 07/30/2009

I was terrified of labor! I have a 12 year old and no children in between. During my first pregnancy I did not take care of myself and gained a lot of weight and didn't exercise AT all and I had an awful labor - with an epidural. I wanted to be better prepared this time and I stayed in shape doing yoga and swimming and a lot of walking with light weights. I SWARE this made all the difference (as this was the advice of many of my friends) and while labor was fast and furious and yes painful, the hard part - contractions and pushing - were over in about 20 minutes. As soon as she was delivered I can honestly say I had no pain. Contractions ended immediately and that was the hardest part, not the actual pushing. This time I had no drugs - not intentionally, she just came so very fast - and I was perfectly fine immediately after. Hope this relieves some anxiety.

Lindsey - posted on 07/30/2009

since you keep hearing bad stories ill tell you mine :) its a good easy labor :)



my water broke at 3 pm nothing big just a few drips and such i started getting a few contractions here and there and timed them they were very irregular about 7, 8, 10, 11 minutes for about an hour by this time its about 7 pm...after i counted them for a hour i went to the hospital i got my gown i started more harder contractions in the car on the way to the hospital but nothing too unbareable then i get put in the waiting room to wait for a clean room and i go in put on my gown and sit in bed so they can put the monitors on me...and now i start the funny part..lol they didn't think i was in active labor..i didn't get checked to see how far dialted i was (i got at the hospital around 7 30 PM.( so im on the monitors i have contractions not too close together but enough to be annoying so then after a while i get a few realy hard contractions but i made it through them then all of a sudden i told the nurse umm i have to push...(remember i was never checked to see how dialated i was) so they finally check me and i was fully dialated so they call my midwife to hurry up and get there since they told her i didn't seem too uncomfortable and she could take her time well now it wasn't comfy anymore i needed to get this baby out..so as im getting ready the midwife finally comes in and im allowed to push so finally theres the baby and i had her at 8 45PM



no pain meds no IV no nothing i had an awesome experience not much pain overall it just burned a bit when she was being born



oh yeah that was my first :)

Beverly - posted on 07/30/2009

You'll be fine! I was really nervous too....I was induced because of pre-eclampsia and my labour was really fast...no time for an epidural! But I made it through. I was only in hard labour for 2 hours though...dont' be afraid to ask for the epidural if you're having a lot of pain. And it does feel really good to push! Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy.

Stephanie - posted on 07/30/2009

trust me there will be so much going on that you wont notice if you tear or not. luckily i tore just a little and it was just as if they gave me an epesiotomy. it will be a relief to push though

Sara - posted on 07/30/2009

I wasnt really scared when I went in to have my son, labor is part of life! I had 48 hours of back labor 40 without the epidural. It hurts, but its worth it! And I only actually pushed for about 20 minutes before he was born. The worst part was the seperating hospital bed...so hard to get comfy on one of those things, Everything else my body just knew how to deal with.

Melissa - posted on 07/30/2009

I went on leave 2 days b4 I went into labor. I was done being pregnant. 3am and my water breaks as I walk into the bathroom. Try and wake up my hubby, go to the hospital and about 13 hours later 2 eps that didn't work so I guess I felt a natural child birth, I had a beautiful baby boy! And believe me it felt GOOD to push that baby out!!! Granted I was scared Sh*$less! at first,But it is a natural process that women have been doing for a little while now. This helped me "It doesn't last forever!" And I honestly thought that I would never forget the whole experience. But you do and love your new baby with a love you have never felt before. It's a wonderful part of life, giving life, challenging, rewarding, you'll be fine!!! Just make sure you ask your Hubby to help you!!! And you do go back to "normal" afterward. Just remember to do your kegel's. Hope this helps

Courtney - posted on 07/29/2009

with my first i didnt know what to do, but i will tell you this when its time you dont have time to think it just happens. so just let thing go the way they do. you will be ok. and there will be lots of help there for you, and take the drugs

Linda - posted on 07/29/2009

Hey Jacqueline, Let me tell you about my labor, Its wasnt the best! I was enduced and it took 3 days for my cervix to even dilate. Everytime they check me(corkscrew) I call it, it hurt so bad that I was screamin. It was because the baby's head was sooo low and my cervix wasnt soften it made it worse. I wanted to have a section 2 days after I was there I couldnt handle it anymore. But when the doctor came in and broke my water, everything started to progress. With my water broke and the pitocin I progress so fast at 1:00am wed morning I got the epidural shot, I went to sleep and then at 5:00am nurse came in and told me I was ready to push. By 5:35am she was born. I had a beautiful baby girl name Braxtin Mikalah. Weighin at 7lbs .04oz and 191/2 in. She was prefect and still is prefect. Well, my labor wasnt the greatest, but I will tell you this, It was the best thing that you will ever imagine. I dont regret anything about my labor at all. I will do again in a heart beat. Believe me, You dont want to have a section and be in pain for weeks and cant move at all. You want to enjoy your time with your baby and not be in a pain and have someone else helping u and the baby. Believe me, it will be the best amazing experience of your life. :)

Amber - posted on 07/29/2009

i felt the same way and i did mine natural and trust me it does hurt, but it is so worth it it. As soon as the baby comes u forget all about it..It is as bad as they say it is but it only lasts for a little bit and one to two days of pain is well worth the lifetime of memories u will have

Jenna - posted on 07/29/2009

I was TERREFIED of delivery. Luckily I had my son in 15 minutes of pushing, and was only in labor for little over an hour. The contractions.. ya they stunk. Actually pushing him out.. I didn't feel a thing! I had ZERO drugs. They didn't even numb me to stitch me (drs fault to why I needed stitches) Your body has so much adreneline you won't even be thinking about it when the time comes!

Mary - posted on 07/29/2009

i'm 23 and have 2 babies both delivered naturally.. i had the best labour i think anyone can ask for..... its all on how you go in to the room thinking if ur thinking it will be bad then it will be.. if your positive and think about that beautiful baby that u'll soon be holding things should go smoothly... ps in the winter were tryin for a third so it really cant be that bad :) all the best of luck

Rabia - posted on 07/29/2009

i gave birth to my first baby 6 months ago and i was just like you before birth, i was petrified, when my waters broke i cried i was so scared BUT you know what ok yeh i cant even begin to explain the pain but god gives you the strength you need and its actually not as bad as you expect it to be plus theres always epidural or morphine i myself went hard out on the gas, if you use it right it helps ALOT! the contractions hurt but you dont feel the baby coming out if that helps:)

Stephanie - posted on 07/29/2009

Im new to this site but I have 3 children. I was 18 when I had my first child and I was in your position. I was so scared that it was gonna hurt or something bad was gonna happen or I wouldnt be able to do. Well in all actuality it was the EASIEST part! I didnt have an epidual with my first one and I did amazing! And at the end I had a beautiful baby boy who even tho was premature was strong and healthy. You wont even think about it when the time comes! I promise!

Tamara - posted on 07/29/2009

i was very scared about that too. my son was 9 pound 1 and i was only 16. i had no drugs and i did it fine. the contrations were the worst, and pushing isn't really that bad, i mean yes it hurt but we are women we are made for this kinda pain. you can do it. once the head is our that that is such a relef and everything else just slides out, i have fath in every women that is about to have a baby. we are strong. everything will be fine, everyone has different experinces.

Becca - posted on 07/29/2009

I think been worried about giving birth is normal and every mum to be must feel the same i did thats all i worried about thinking i would'nt be able to do it. But it was not as bad as i imagined it to be.Just listen to your body it will tell you what to do.

Gina - posted on 07/29/2009

I think initially all of us have that fear. Here in Belize people have a lot of superstitions but this one I believed in. I started a new job when I was 5 months pregnant and travelled alot, on my feet alot and upand down stairs alot. They say in Belize that if you are very active your labor and delivery will be quick. Mine was. I labored for 2 hours and delivered and 8lb 12oz baby boy vaginally and without any medication for pain. It was the most wonderful experience of my life.

Beth - posted on 07/29/2009

I've had 4 children, all delivered naturally, and the only pain relief was gas and air ;) I'm not a nut, I swear! Your body knows what it has to do, it's like it takes over if you can be calm enough to let it- so I recommend anything you find calming, whether music or threatening your husband! By the way, don't listen to the horror stories either - I was terrified the first time around, but the labour lasted 4 and a half hours, start to finish - and I promise everything goes back to normal in time!!

Deidre - posted on 07/29/2009

I just gave birth to my first baby 3 weeks ago. I planned to have him naturally but because of some unfortunate events, I had to endure more than half of my labor without a coach (my husband). I ended up getting an epidural and will never again try to go without one. Once I got the epidural it was a piece of cake!

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2009

Also, I have to say, while it is a totally individual choice as far as drugs is concerned, running for the epidural does not have to be the answer. often they don't work right and sometimes not at all so don't bank your experience on that perfect ride with the epidural. also, numbing your body removes a lot of it's natural ability to push the baby out for you. the "natural expulsion reflex" is there to get the baby down the birth canal for you when the time is right, but moms can't feel this when they are totally numb, so they have to hold their breath and push. this is not natural nor the way we were designed. i really think that learning about natural, psychological-alternative pain control and fear release is the way to go, and have an exhilarating experience. remember, i was scared ****less for the 1st 6 months of my pregnancy, then found Hypnobirthing and spent the next 3 months, and L&D, in bliss with the daily practice and preparation. good luck.

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2009

I was very scared as well, until i found a book called Hypnobirthing. I read thru it, listened to the guided meditations and recited affirmations daily, and was able to release all of my fear and had a wonderful, uncomplicated, comfortable labor & delivery at kaiser with no drugs, no interventions and no problems. The book will educate you on what your body is actually doing, and how to work with it not against it (which is where most of the pain comes from - stress hormones and tensing up against the productive work your body is trying to do). I *highly* recommend you at least look into it as a way to release your fears, even if you do need medication or other medical intervention. also, please take a stand and stop people from telling you their scary labor stories! this is setting you back into fear mode every time you sit there and listen to someone else's drama. just politely ask them to maybe tell you after you deliver. people add so much drama and get caught up in "who's labor was worse" for some reason. you do not need that right now! let me know if you want to know more.

Heather - posted on 07/29/2009

Have a plan. Discuss it with your OB. Make sure your husband understands what you want and need and what his role is going to be. He will be a big part of helping you though your labor. Don't be afraid of an epidural. Most importantly since you seem to be very afraid you need to take control of this birth don't let it take control of you. You can and will be just fine.

Megan - posted on 07/29/2009

It is uncomfortable but not really painful!!!! Don't worry yourself to death. Your body will take care of it all. Just get an epidural!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deepa - posted on 07/29/2009

If you fear the labour pain yet want to go in for a natural labour,the best option for you is going in for epidural.which ensures you dont feel the labour pain yet get to deliver your baby naturally.The only pain that you will endure during this process is the administering of the epidural.so goodluck to a pain free delivery.

Danielle - posted on 07/29/2009

I was very much like you because all of my friends that had had babies scared the crap out of me with their stories so you can imagine what I felt like when I had to deliever my son 6 weeks ahead of time! I thought I'm not ready! I was full of panic and kept hoping for a c-section but when push came to shove (no pun intended) it honestly wasn't as bad as everyone had made it seem. Mind you I had an epidural but it didn't work. I would say the pain felt like strong period cramps. The funny thing is you know what made me let go of the fear I was holding? Watching the nurse shake her head while I was trying to push like I couldn't do it. That one little action pissed me off so much I forgot about everything and before I knew it it was over and I got to see my son! You will do absolutely fine! Good luck & god bless you & your family!

Keelee - posted on 07/29/2009

When the time comes you wont even care about any of that. I gave birth at 18 yrs old and I read all the books and was worring about every little detail about the delivery. Everybody told me stories and it just scared me even more. I made it to 6 cm then i got a epidural and took a hour and half nap when i woke up i was ready to push. It took me all of 3 pushes and he was out. From the time they broke my water till he was out was all of 6 hours. I look back now and I made everything much bigger than it really was.

I hope i helped

Trina - posted on 07/29/2009

Nothing I say will relive your fear. This was my greatest fear! I actually put off having children because tearing horrified me so much. It didn't help that my friend said that she "blew her vagina out." Despite the fear, I gave birth to 10.3 baby in March vaginally with no drugs (not necessarily recommended). I did tear a bit, but it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Do your exercises. It makes a big difference. Hire a Doula. They're great with teaching you in the moment how to breath and push. The classes don't really help that much when you're in labor. It's better to have someone who knows what to do on the day you deliver. On the big day, don't push until they say to. Women who start pushing too soon get worse tearing.

I hope I didn't make your fears worse.

Adriane - posted on 07/29/2009

Its nothing like the horror stories in the movies. As soon as you start to feel a little discomfort just ask for the epidural. Once you get that, the whole experience is enjoyable and you will be so glad you got it so you'll remember the whole thing. I really hate that no one shares the good stuff, all you every hear about is the bad. Ive had 3 children and had epidural with all of them and loved every one of my deliveries. Good luck and congratulations.

Kilee - posted on 07/29/2009

It wasn't as bad as I made it to be in my head. I have a wonderful l/d and would do it again in a heart beat!

Dyan - posted on 07/29/2009

It's not as bad as you think. After it is over with, you will forget the pain and discomfort of the labor. My first was 8 lbs 1 oz. and as soon as she was out it was the best feeling ever that I missed being pregnant immediately. 10 months later my 2nd was born 7 lbs 13 oz. My 3rd is now 2 months and she was 10 lbs 14 oz. and the epidural pump broke. Eventhough that had to be the worst vaginal birth that I had, I still would like to have 1 more. The pain is worth the wait. Good luck! You will be just fine.

Dyan - posted on 07/29/2009

It's not as bad as you think. After it is over with, you will forget the pain and discomfort of the labor. My first was 8 lbs 1 oz. and as soon as she was out it was the best feeling ever that I missed being pregnant immediately. 10 months later my 2nd was born 7 lbs 13 oz. My 3rd is now 2 months and she was 10 lbs 14 oz. and the epidural pump broke. Eventhough that had to be the worst vaginal birth that I had, I still would like to have 1 more. The pain is worth the wait. Good luck! You will be just fine.

Stefanie - posted on 07/29/2009

I just had our first child 4 weeks ago. I was MORTIFIED at the idea of delivering vaginally... and let me tell you, it was not bad- at all. In addition to that, I was terrified of having any lacerations or episiotomy, and while I did require a small episiotomy (the baby was 9lbs 9oz!!) it was also not half as bad as I had expected. Just go in with the mind set that you're going to go with the flow... that's my biggest piece of advice. And get an epidural!! =-) You'll do great.

LAUREN - posted on 07/29/2009

ITS NOT AS BAD AS EVEYONE MAKES IT OUT TO BE AND THAT IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO HAD A HARD TIME.

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2009

get an epidural is all i gotta say i didnt feel a thing, it was really not as bad as i thought it would be and in the end you have a beautiful baby to enjoy :)

Rachel - posted on 07/29/2009

I'm the biggest wimp going and I managed. It's weird coz your body tells you what to do and although it is painful, its something you get over very quickly. Once the baby is out, it goes. My son is only 8 months and I would go through it again without any hesitation. As I said once you have that gorgeous baby in your arms you feel on top of the world. xx

Michelle - posted on 07/29/2009

i too had the same feelin wif my first...once ur labour strts u need to rememba to relax n not freak out as it will delay things... try a prelabour class mayb..... have u got a birth plan?? they r a brillant idea so long as ur open to things changin if labour doesnt go to plan, ur midwife n ur partner should b fully involvd wif wot u want n how ur feelin so they can hlp give u the experience u deserve..... i gave birth twice wif no drugs n will do nxt time again, its not as scary as pplz make out to b... go into ur own wrld wen ur in labour, dnt wry bout nefin else, breathe very deep n slowly n listen to ur body, no1 else no's wots happenin to u rite at tht moment..... i have also had a wata birth tht was fantastic, if water relaxs u mayb u should try this, it does relive the pain a lil bit...the water is very calmin.... make sure ur partner is well educatd n no's wot to expect so he can b the best hlp possible.... just rememba do wot ur body tells u too, wifout knowin it u will go into a deeper part ofurslf n hear wot ur bodys sayin( yes i no it sounds crazi..i laughd wen sum1 said it to me but its tru) gud luk babe

Lucy - posted on 07/28/2009

Remember one thing all deliveries are different. I delivered my son in 4 pushes.I had an epideral and labor to me was very easy. I got myself all worked up listening to other peoples horror stories. Dont lett that happen to you.

Kate - posted on 07/28/2009

My obstetrician and i were discussing after my birth how smoothly it all went and how when i go to dicuss the birth with others i say yeh it all went good but if i had a horrible labour we would have a huge discussion about it for ages and get into all the details, so what the moral of this is try not to listen to the labour stories cos you generally just get the bad ones when typically births go fairly smoothly but no one wants to hear how perfectly it all went they want the disasterous gorey stories :)

Sarah - posted on 07/28/2009

The key also is relaxing. It's not as easy as it sounds yet make it seem like a job. Your job is to be quiet and you can't scream. You have to remain calm and concentrate. The more you scream the more your muscles will cramp up and the harder your labor is. Also honey take your time the faster you try and get the baby out the more you are going to tear. It hurts yet it's worth it.

Sarah - posted on 07/28/2009

My midwife was a female dog. She gave me three lectures during labor. First, the doc on duty had broke my water. She came on duty and gave me a lecture because my daughter would be NINE days early. This lasted 20 minutes. Then a lecture on too much medicine and how it would make labor take longer 10 minutes. Two hours after getting my water broken I decided I couldn't do it without meds so after a 30 minute lecture she checked to see how dilated I was and all she said wat, "honey it hurts cause I can see the head". My daughter was born 2 hours and 45 minutes after they broke my water and she was my first. So honey don't worry it won't be as bad as you think it will be and even if it takes forever the pain will go away. It feels like you have to have a BM and you can't and once the baby comes out it doesn't hurt. Trust me I was terrified of delievering the baby yet once it's over with you don't even feel the pain because you are too worried about your child. Your motherly instincts kick in and the pain goes away. Like if you are walking with your child in your hands and you trip and fall and your child falls with you. You could have broken your leg yet it doesn't even matter when it comes to checking on your child. Good Luck honey!

Nicky - posted on 07/28/2009

It's scary because you don't know what to expect as a first time mom. You can read all the books, watch all the videos about it, but until you actually go through it you will not know exactly what can happen because all births aren't the exact same. Rest assured, it will all be ok! There wouldn't be this many people on the planet if it wasn't. With my first I was scared, but once in labor I was more so excited because I knew my baby was coming soon! And honestly, you don't remember most of it....."those" parts that is. So try to relax, and a good piece of advice like many others, get the epidural. You will be ok!!!!!

Jaime - posted on 07/28/2009

people always want to share their horror stories, please stop that!!!! don't worry about it so much, that won't make it better, and don't watch a baby story on tlc, that just made me cry, and it made me terrified. you will be fine, get an epidural! screw the no drugs naysayers!!! they have those drugs for a reason! and tons of babies are born with them. every thing will be ok.

Cortnie - posted on 07/28/2009

I gave birth to my son almost 6 months ago... the whole experiance is still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. Don't worry so much about it because the moment you hold your baby angel in arms you will feel the most amazing love you have ever felt in your life. Most hospital will hand you your baby straight away and let you hold baby while they clean baby up. Yes, Labor does suck, it is uncomfortable. I tell every women who about have a baby "DON'T be a hero, TAKE the medication". Get in comfortable postion for you and breathe. The contractions will suck, but once you start pushing, you will be so relieved, you won't even realize the pain because you know your just moments away from holding your baby. And you may feel a little proud of your self, because you did the most amazing thing any one on this planet could do, you gave life.

Angela - posted on 07/28/2009

i was also very scared about doing it vaginally but when you are in the moment it all passes!! i was in labor for 13 hours then i pushed for 2 hours... i labored for the first 11 and a half hours with nothing and with no sleep for 2 nights i couldn't take it any more my doc thought i was going to have a 7 pound baby because i had been so active during my pregnancy but .. i delivered a 9 pound baby i am only 5 feet 5 inches and only weighed 140 before i got pregnant and only gained 26 pounds the whole pregnancy so there was no way anyone thought i would have a nine pound baby!!! but she is very healthy and happy and her name is sophia paige!! you will do just fine... where are you from?

Angela - posted on 07/28/2009

i was also very scared about doing it vaginally but when you are in the moment it all passes!! i was in labor for 13 hours then i pushed for 2 hours... i labored for the first 11 and a half hours with nothing and with no sleep for 2 nights i couldn't take it any more my doc thought i was going to have a 7 pound baby because i had been so active during my pregnancy but .. i delivered a 9 pound baby i am only 5 feet 5 inches and only weighed 140 before i got pregnant and only gained 26 pounds the whole pregnancy so there was no way anyone thought i would have a nine pound baby!!! but she is very healthy and happy and her name is sophia paige!! you will do just fine... where are you from?

Kate - posted on 07/28/2009

relax, trust me i didnt when ihad contractions id tighten up, i ended up with leg cramps for 23 hours straight, i had to use the vacume to finish getting her out with 23 stitches due to tightening up. my epi didnt work tho, the nubain worked wonders get the stuff in ur iv its less bad if you just relax with it.

Raquel - posted on 07/28/2009

everyone gets nervous about the idea of delivery, just think positive that everything is going be fine. Take a birth classes where it'll help you know what to expect and give you some idea of what you going to experience. that'll give you some relief and remember women have given birth for many years...we in present day have it easier...theres many pain reliever options...you'll be fine....positve thinking & imagine the joy and happiness of holding your little one...its worth it!!!

Stefanie - posted on 07/28/2009

Its not as bad as you might think. Your body is going to naturally try to get the baby out. I delivered my son 8lb 6 ozs without an epidural. When the DR told me to push honeslty I thought it was test run. I had no idea we were getting started..LOL He was my first too!!! He is 9 months Happy and Heathy!!

Trish - posted on 07/28/2009

It's called an epidural!! I know I was so scared too that I wasn't going to be able to do it vaginally, but I was lucky enough to get an epidural and my entire birth process was amazing. My husband and I were able to have an enjoyable night while we were waiting for me to become 10 cm and once I was, even the pushing was really not that bad. I pushed for 2 hours and it went by so fast. My baby was 9 lb 8.4 oz and was an amazing birth. It's easy for me to say don't be scared, but now that I have done it, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I know every woman is different and every birth is different, but we live in a civilized society where we have great technology and drugs to help us with whatever we need. Just think, millions of women do it everyday, if they can do it, so can you. Hang in there, you'll do great!!

Kassie - posted on 07/28/2009

ps... it heals as long as you take care of yourself...

Kassie - posted on 07/28/2009

well i was all worried about it too. i got a epideral, after they broke my water and i was completely numb after that.i didn't feel a thing except a little pressure and it was suprisingly easy and beautiful. dont worry you can do it. you'll forget all about it once you have your little angel in your arms.