I feel like all I'm doing is trying to get her to sleep!

Kathleen - posted on 04/18/2012

Cynthia - thanks. Sadly, she's never been a great sleeper - she's never actually slept through the night, although there have been a few times where she's slept 5 hours and 5 hours. So maybe she's slept through the night once or twice. She did much better last night and i just keep hoping it's a phase. I wonder if some of it is that she's close to rolling over - she seems to be close, twisting her body and getting frustrated when nothing happens. Maybe once she's done that she'll relax until the next milestone.

Cynthia - posted on 04/18/2012

My 3 month old has days when she'll only have 2 naps of 15-20 minutes each. She rarely naps on the weekends, I think because she wants her time with mommy (I work all week). Don't worry about her not getting enough sleep. When she's tired enough, she'll sleep. I think it's just part of being 3 months old. She's been a great sleeper and started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. Yesterday, we couldn't get her settled down for a nap of more than a few minutes, and she didn't fall asleep last night until around 11 pm and then took nearly an hour to settle back down after her 4:30 am feeding. She'll have a day of catch-up sleep when she's ready. I try to keep her on a schedule, but at this point, I don't stress over it.



And Kathleen, I'm totally with you on the CIO or crying to sleep thing. The longer a baby cries, the more stress hormones build up in her system. Then it takes several days for her body to flush them out. My daughter is the happy, relaxed, confident baby she is because I don't allow too much stress. She gets enough to learn self-calming, and that's all the stress she needs.

Kathleen - posted on 04/17/2012

Thanks for the help ladies. I've started taking daily walks Kelina, with her in the stroller. Inevitably she will sleep, even if only for 20 minutes, but it's progress and I'm getting out of the house and getting exercise. My sister-in-law said the same thing (she has 4 kids) - that it's totally normal, that I'm doing everything right and if I have to, keep holding her for naps because inevitably right when you start to figure out how to deal she'll decide she wants to sleep in her crib by herself and not be held. My husband and I have also figured out that our night time routine, which WAS working really well, isn't anymore so we're going to try to find out what is bothering her (too late? Early? etc.) and change it.



Anyway....I've got some perspective on it. I won't be letting her cry though - CIO or to sleep. That would just undo all of my ideas of what kind of parent I want to be. I'd rather just hold her for naps for awhile longer.

Kelina - posted on 04/17/2012

She's 3 months old. Believe it or not this is totally normal. However, if you keep doing what you're doing you're going to go insane. So. FEw things you can try-get out more. Go for a walk, go to the mall, or the park or something, maybe try a moms group. With that she'll probably sleep a little better. Try to get her into the routine of sleeping more and on a decent schedule before you try to dictate where she's sleeping. And then be prepared for it to all go out the window when she goes through a growth spurt or gets sick. Don't be afraid to let her cry if you get too overwhelmed or tired, but I wouldn't recommend any type of CIO at this stage-she's still waaaaaaay too little. Try to keep her engaged with other thing when you're home. If she starts to get overstimulated by playing, pop her in a snugli or something like that and do some housework. Take a shower with her. Or even a bath. Try to keep her up for slightly longer periods of time before you start trying to put her to sleep. and don't worry this does pass eventually. I know after my first was born I felt like I was dying. He was up every two hours on the dot for the first 8 months during the night and occasionally would decide that 5 am was wake up time and then go back to bed two hours later. One thing you might try is instead of staying in bed after she gets up in the morning which you probably don't get much sleep anyways when you do, go down with her for her nap at 7. The rest you get will probably be a lot better. The fact that you're exhausted and struggling is probably something she's picking up on and reflecting.

Alison - posted on 04/16/2012

Kathleen... it is important to keep things in perspective. You are obviously very tired. With a first child, you may feel like every stage will go on forever, but it never does. :)

Have you tried letting her cry herself to sleep? You may find if she puts herself to sleep, she will sleep MUCH longer.

Keep fighting the good fight, and together, you'll figure this thing out eventually.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/15/2012

You are NOT a bad mom. Babies do this, especially when they are hitting a growth spurt, or teething. This is completely normal. It is best to try to get them onto a schedule, but that doesn't always stick. It sounds like you are doing a good job. Just keep up the hard work, emphasis on HARD!

My son was a great sleeper....I mean sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, sleeping 14-16 hours per day (or more). My second....not so much. I did not sleep more than 3-4 hours per night the first 15 months of her life.....and those precious 4 hours were co-sleeping with her squirming all over me. We do the best that we can, and just know it will not last forever, but it sure as hell will feel like it.