I know this is Trivial...

Emily Jane - posted on 10/30/2010 ( 42 moms have responded )

39

48

2

Ok...so Ive decided to combine breast and bottle and everyone seems to have a really big issue with it?..

i just dont understand..i know breast is best but in the long run is it really?

with my first born..i got mastitus and only breastfed for 2 weeks..and then he was on the bottle..hes a thriving 3 year old with not a problem in the world!

is there anyway i could tell everyone thats mt decision full stop!.

without being rude to them?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 11/02/2010

11

23

0

Kudos to you for breastfeeding at all! (some moms don't want to bother, which is fine) I breastfed my first for 15 months and am now at almost 8 weeks with my second. You asked if it is best in the long run--Yes, it is designed specifically for a human baby, it is most easily digested by their digestive tracts, and has been proven to reduce the risk of obesity and other risk factors later in life. Having said that, I have several friends who weren't able for various reasons to continue breastfeeding beyond a couple of weeks. As to what others are saying to you, think in terms of their meaning well for your baby (it might help soften your response, too). As to what to say, just tell them that you have looked into all the options and this is the best choice for you and your little one. (two of my friends' supply dwindled and my sis-in-law was getting so stressed over the pumping and all that it wasn't beneficial for any of the members of the family). If they are really being rude, say in the kindest tone possible, "This is MY child who is healthy, and quite frankly, what I feed MY child is none of your business." ;o)

[deleted account]

"These days formula is made almost exactly to breast milk anyways...my doctor told me that."

What a load of BS Robyn! If you believed that then more fool you!

Emily. You do what you need to. If you choose to not BF at all then thats fine. I would just be blunt with those people and tell them it's not your child it's mine and as long as child is healthy then what should it matter to those people?

Gabriela - posted on 11/02/2010

7

2

0

first of all, it is not trivial, any decision that affects you or your baby is important. i've just had my second child, the first one i breast fed till he was almost 2, with my little girl i find i have little milk and have had to bottle feed her from day one; i found a lot of adverse reactions when i was in hospital, i was being told not to bottle feed and just 'keep trying' with the breast, which is all well and good if you want your child to starve. i don't so i use bottles.
if someone says something why not say "yes, i understand your piont, but this is my child and i do what i feel is best for BOTH of us" and if they keep it up just say i have a bad history when breast feeding and my child will be better of being bottle fed!

Jennifer - posted on 11/01/2010

1,501

37

229

while it is completely your decision, i'd like to warn you that combination can be a slippery slope. it is very very common for combination moms to experience a decrease in milk supply over time and a lot of times after only a couple months, their milk completely dries up. combination feeding from birth (as opposed to waiting the recommended 6 weeks when breastfeeding is well established) can be even trickier because babies will usually prefer the bottle over learning to breastfeed in those early days.



i, personally, don't see formula as an option for my family. formula use does have risks of its own, and its not just "an increased risk of illness" (as many mothers say "my baby is formula fed and has never been ill). a childs nutrition in the first couple years of life effects their health for the rest of their lives so long term risks of formula feeding need to be addressed (respitory diseases, allergies, asthma, obesity, lymphoma, multiple sclerosis, Hodgkins disease, GERD, diabetes, the list goes on). the world health organization recommends breastfeeding for a MINIMUM of 2 (and beyond as long as mutually desired) years for this exact reason. we are seeing this in the generation born during world war II when the vast majority of babies were bottlefed. it is a medically supported fact that there are things in breastmilk that cannot be reproduced in formula and formula is considered the 4th choice by health organizations...the first choice is breastmilk directly from mom's breast, 2nd choice is moms milk via bottle, 3rd choice is breastmilk from a donor mother, and the 4th choice is formula.



it is completely your decision to make but it is important to do your research and understand everything that that decision involves. good luck and be confident in whatever decision you make :)

Jade - posted on 11/01/2010

56

58

1

I don't see a problem with that! My daughter only breastfed for three weeks and then she got really sick and hospitalized which cut off the breast feeding. My daughter has been on formula since she was 3-4 weeks old.



You are the MOTHER you know whats best for your child and no one else...



Stay STRONG on your decision and don't let anyone change YOUR mind.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

42 Comments

View replies by

Stifler's - posted on 03/17/2011

15,141

154

597

just tell them to be your guest if they want to do all the breastfeeds you're going to replace with bottle feeds.

Ramona - posted on 03/17/2011

258

50

6

Hey, at least he's getting the breast too! And, you know, being fed...

Personally, I would find that too complicated, but you do whatever you think you should do and just tell people that is what you have decided!

Demi - posted on 11/03/2010

19

19

0

I must say i do give kudos to any woman that breastfeeds but in my own situation if it had not been for formula i would not have my daughter. since im a first time mum i was taking all the advice i could get and i found with breastfeeding i my daughter kept falling asleep within minuits of feeding and i wasnt producing milk properly so i was asking as many midwives and doctors as i could about it and they all just said to keep trying with the breastfeeding, even my mum was telling me to keep trying. it was when i was noticing that she wasnt putting on weight while i was on holidays that i decided to go see my old doctor and she took one look at my daughter and told me to put her on formula, she was a month old and weighed less than when she was born and after 3-4 weeks on formula she was at the average weight for her age. i cant say that i thank any of the nurses that i saw after she was born as they all made me feel pressured to breastfeed and at all her check ups no one noticed something was wrong, in my gut i felt something was wrong but when everyone was telling me it was fine i kinda just thought i was being silly. i know ive rambled on a bit but basically my point is do what you feel is right because at this moment in time the only people who matter are you and your baby if you feel something is wrong or is not working act on it coz 9 times out of ten you will be right, if anyone has a problem with your decision jsut politely tell them its none of their business and to worry bout their own kids and if they dont have kids that they should wait till they know what its like before giving out criticism or advice.

Heather - posted on 11/03/2010

368

21

41

I think that most people are just concerned for you because normally when you don't exclusively bf, you don't build up your milk supply like an exclusively bfing mother, so you usually can't keep up with it as long. Regardless, it is your decision how to feed your child and some breast is better than none, so power to you! When people say something, just say "We were going to do all formula, but I wanted to reap some of the breastfeeding benefits while I could. And leave it at that. It's none of anyone's business what you do!

Kristin - posted on 11/03/2010

1,645

40

305

It is your decision, do what is best for your family. That said, if you choose to breastfeed even partially, focus on that until your supply is established. If you run into problems with latch, supply, mastitis, or clogs, get help from lactation specialists not just your doctor. It never ceases to amaze me just how little the medical profession really knows or understands about breastfeeding.

Do what you can to support your breastfeeding efforts and then whether you are pumping or using formula in that bottle, you are good to go.

As a side note, feeding your child is not trivial. But as long as you have what you need to make an informed decision and are flexible enough to alter plans if things just aren't working out as intended, your child will do beautifully.

[deleted account]

i tried to breastfeed both of my children, but with my daughter i lasted only 3 days before she was screaming because there was nothing there... and i know it takes 3-5 days for your milk to come in, but thats just assuming theres milk there to come in. with my son, he got it for a week and a half. i just didnt have the supply for what he needed. and my midwife (and breastfeeding advocate) told me that about 5% of women just do not produce enough milk to feed their babies, or dont produce milk at all. i am in that 5%. i didnt produce any with my daughter, and with my son, very little. not enough for him to eat. with my son, i did try to combine breast and bottle, but my daughter is 16 months, and i didnt have enough time to nurse, pump and top him up with formula anyway, so i did what was best for my family and i put him on bottles. i just barely got engorged and in a matter of 2 days my breasts were back to normal. my mom was disappointed that i didnt try harder to nurse, as she fed me and my brother for a combined 6+ years. but i told her it was my choice, i wasnt producing, and at least he's eating. sorry to offend anyone who thinks that breastfeeding is the only way to go, that formula is poison and should be an absolute last resort, but i would much rather formula feed that starve my child because the "better way" doesnt work for me. just my 2 cents... and if anyone gives you grief for combined feeding, just tell them its your life and your baby and you will do what you see is best. :)

Kacey - posted on 11/03/2010

2

3

0

I've been dealing with this too. I had a breast reduction three years ago and really had my heart set on breastfeeding but have had to supplement with the bottle from day one. I was all excited when my milk came in and so proud the first time my son latched on. My son is now 2 months and I had stopped breastfeeding because my supply is so low. I was crushed! Everybody has their opinions and suggestions but I just want to hear somebody say they understand or say that my baby is healthy and happy so it's no big deal long as he eats.
You're an awesome mom for even worrying about this...so if you have to get rude do it knowing that you are a GREAT MOM!

Sarah - posted on 11/03/2010

243

19

30

It has been my experience that the more information you have about breastfeeding, the better equipped you will be when there is an issue; therefore, you have a better chance at succeeding. The first month is difficult, and I know how appealing that bottle will look to you when you've had 45 min sleep and your honey is up again asking for food... for the 5th time during the night. I felt incredibly guilty and felt like a failure when breastfeeding wasn't working for me, but I knew that it got better because I had armed myself with information. And it did at around 2 months age. I implore you to do your research because you are setting yourself up for disappointment when your supply never becomes fully established because you're offering your lo formula and you have to stop. There are a lot of benefits for both yourself and your baby in the beginning and in the long term.

Emily, you are right, this is your choice, but just think about your choice. You may have a good experience w/ formula w/ your previous child but may not have the same experience w/ this one. It's not a risk I would be willing to take.

Jennifer - posted on 11/02/2010

1,501

37

229

Sarah Stevens, when i say donor milk, i am not talking about wetnursing. there are 2 options for donor milk:

1) milk from a milk bank. the mother donating is screened for anything that could compromise her milk. the milk bank pasteurizes the milk before it is distributed. milk is often reserved for premature infants, and yes is quite expensive (i've heard it can cost as much as $10 per ounce)



2) milkshare program. the donor mother needs to provide her medical records to the family she is donating to. both the donating mother, and the family receiving the milk make a connection and decide if they are a right match. in this instance, the milk is 100% donated (the family receiving the milk needs to pay shipping costs where applicable).



i would never suggest that you accept milk from any lactating person off the street. that would be reckless. you may feel that it is wrong to use another woman's milk, but not all women feel that way and donor breastmilk is an option that many women do not even know exists. and not only is it an option, but it is a SAFE option as long as one knows how to go about it. personally, i'd rather use the milk from another woman than formula made form the milk of a completely unrelated species.

Nikkole - posted on 11/02/2010

1,505

31

49

I had this problem with my mother in law! My milk WOULDNT come in with my first baby and my mother in law said if i didnt breastfeed him he would be stupid and sickly and all this other crap! Well he is almost 3 and is HARDLY EVER sick and he talks and has a bigger vocabulary than most of my friends kids so i believe it is YOUR decision NO ONE ELSE'S!

Sarah - posted on 11/02/2010

933

65

29

i breastfed my 21month old for the first 10 days of his life.

i'm glad i managed to .. even if it was only for a short while .. but emotionally it was so hard especially since he didn't seem that interested in the boob. =/

so my son was formula fed since then

April - posted on 11/02/2010

24

42

3

with my oldest i only breast fed her for a day she was way to agressive,my son i breast fed for three weeks and i dried up and my third i was wanting to breast feed her but with her problem i couldn't but i don't see anything wrong with supplementing formula with breast it is a lot easier

Robyn - posted on 11/02/2010

242

54

20

Oh ic. Well I don't think I was promoting it so much as just accepting it. If thats what you have to do, or want to do, then so be it. I am sure by now all moms know that breast is best, its just a matter of if they will, or can do it. When I was in prenatal class my teacher told me, (who is also a doula, the charge nurse in the maternity ward at the hospital, and a certified lactation consultant)..that.... everyone can breast feed there are no excuses.. even if you've had surgury on your breasts, even if they won't latch right away etc... so I went on believing everyone could do it, and mommies were being lazy. (especially when my little newborn latched right away no questions asked) Now however, I have heard many stories from friends, etc who have had breast reductions, it wouldn't work, many specialists, lac consultants, etc trying to help them and still, wouldn't happen. So now I have come to terms that no one should judge, like I was and just accept what has to be done, will be done. As long as that baby is fed, thats all that matters. But again, I was not promoting, so much as accepting it, and letting Emily know.... its OK. :)
And... yes Emily sorry for going on and on, on your post. hahaha I hope I helped tho! :)

Jackie - posted on 11/02/2010

51

140

1

i never breastfed 3 of mine (i just didn't feel comfortable) but for my last i decided to. however i did keep a container of formula just incase. i breastfed my daughter for 3 months but did us the container of formular to. sometime i just felt there was no more i could give and she was so hungry so at those times i would give her a bottle and she loved it. i was worried with the transision from breast to bottle as i know people that have not been able to go back to work becuse bub refused to take a bottle, thankfully i never had troubles. i know what your saying i'm not one for confrentation either (unfortunately thats how it usually ends). but its your body and your baby so its your choice do whats best for you think is best for you both

Emily Jane - posted on 11/01/2010

39

48

2

wow..this was trivial haha!...everyone has their own idea of whats right and wrong but in the end its down to each individual mother who makes the decision..youll all be pleased to know ive told my family that this is my decision full stop and i also added in i dont want to talk about it anymore either..i dont think its fair for people to play the guilt trip and try to talk others out of their decison ...
i am only using the bottle when we are out..such as dinner or out shopping as im a private person and would rather not breastfeed while im around random people..thanks everyone for your inputs..some have been very helpfull..others a little demeaning..but never the less thanks for your contributions :)

[deleted account]

@Jennifer you do realise using "donor" milk means there is an increase of a disease that can be passed on thats why at the moment there is such an uproar in Australia about women offering to breastfeed other womens babies besides that i think its wrong to feed your child another woman's milk and not to mention its more expensive than formula ive looked into it and the risks of feeding my baby another mother's milk far outweighed those of formula

[deleted account]

I think its fine it just may come with its own difficulties once you get started. Nothing is easy it could make it harder to keep up your supply or cause mastitus again if you dont empty your breasts fully. Be prepared knowing it won't neccessarily be easier. You may find you have less support with the breastfeeding side ppl may say why r you needing help or support for breastfeeding when you could just do formula full time... I experienced that with my first he had jaundice and my milk hadnt came in yet so we had to use formula at first. None of my family or friends had breastfed and didnt understand why I was so determined when I could just keep him on formula. I finally was able to switch to breastmilk only and nurse without any aids like a nipple shield when my son was 7 weeks old. I started with formula and pumping because he was so sick and couldnt latch and although i almost quit several times i ended up nursing until his first bday. good luck

Jennifer - posted on 11/01/2010

1,501

37

229

Robyn, i'm sorry you had a hard time nursing...i had a hard time as well and i've had to exclusively pump for my 11 month old son since he was around 5ish weeks old.



my feathers get a bit ruffled when it sounds like people are promoting the use of formula especially when science has proven it to be an inferior food source.



you're right, there are a lot of other things we have to worry about.



@Emily Jane, i'm sorry for hijacking your post! i honestly hope i didn't offend, i was just trying to add a perspective that i had not seen posted yet. your experience with your first probably could have turned out better with proper support, which is one of the main reasons why women give up on breastfeeding. this is especially true in the united states where breastfeeding is often not the norm. the point of my original post was to suggest that you do your research, and be confident in your decision. if you are confident in your decision (whatever it may be), no one can make you feel bad about it. good luck.

Robyn - posted on 11/01/2010

242

54

20

I know you didn't Jennifer. I know you are just providing informative facts. However, people who don't strictly breastfeed, really don't want to hear about it. I mean, personally I hated being strapped down with my boob all the time, and my breasts were enormous, I am pretty sure that's what caused the back pain, and I couldn't even pick up my daughter for 1 1/2 months- it was awful. So everyone has different stories, and different scenerios. Breastfeeding is important, but really... there are a lot more things us mommies have to worry about- this is just one. We could go on and on about lots of topics like this, but at the end of the day- we are going to do what we think is right and thats that. Thanks for your info tho- you sound like a very caring mother :)

Jennifer - posted on 11/01/2010

1,501

37

229

i have never had the intention of making anyone feel bad. it is impossible to make someone feel bad. that being said, it is wrong to remain politically correct just in case someone gets offended. it is irresponsible to say that formula is risk free, or just as good as breastmilk because it is not, and it never will be. formula has its place, and its a good thing that it is around i just think people should be informed of the risks that go along with it and make a decision from there.



and by the way, i was formula fed as well. and i do have health issues. are they due to being formula fed? i can't say for sure. you will always find "exceptions to the rule" so you have to look at the bigger picture and find the pattern. i wouldn't formula feed when my body provides what every baby expects to be fed, and is never at risk of being recalled.



also, one could say it is a matter of life and death because studies have shown that formula use doubles the risk of infant death. formula feeding increases the risk of SIDS and at 3 months old, there are 56% more deaths for babies that receive mostly formula in the united states compared to those that are exclusively breastfed.

Robyn - posted on 11/01/2010

242

54

20

I was never breastfed as a baby, and I have 0 health issues. Not even 1 allergy. I agree that breast is best to a certain extent. Like I said I breastfed for 5 months until my daughter was just not 'loving it' anymore, and I had to also take drugs for a back pain that was unfortunately too strong for me to continue breast feeding on. I don't think we need to worry as much as some people are... when people knock formula it makes us moms feel bad. Some people don't even give it chance, or can't at all. So I don't think this topic should even be discussed on here. Its not a matter of life or death. This forum should be about baby milestones, questions, stories, and positive advice. Not about making one another feel bad, unless of course they are actually putting their child in danger of course. That's all. Have a good night Mommies!! xx

Robyn - posted on 11/01/2010

242

54

20

These days formula is made almost exactly to breast milk anyways...my doctor told me that. I breastfed for my daughter's first 5 months of her life, she is now 8 months. Between her and I ..it just slowly ended. I also had a back issue that I needed to take strong drugs for, so that was the last straw also. She loves her Buh-buh's and she has hasn't been sick yet- not even a runny nose. Its whatever you and your child choose. You know whats best for them. :) Hyper bfing mommies need to back off! lol

Alison - posted on 11/01/2010

2,753

20

466

I would say something like: "I feel this is the best option for me and my baby and I'd rather not get into a discussion about it right now."



Although breast may be best for the health of the baby, if it doesn't work for the mama, it's no longer the best option!

Tyrae - posted on 11/01/2010

609

10

104

I'm going to be doing breast and bottle when I have my baby, but pumping for bottle use. My choice is so that my hubby can bond with the baby too for a feeding or two a night. ( and it also gives you a little time to yourself :D ) It's completely your decision and some people really do need to keep their opinions to themselves sometimes, especially if they are just going to be rude about it. Just tell them that it is your choice and thank you for the advice but you're going to do what you want in the end anyways.

Corinne - posted on 11/01/2010

1,288

14

116

Be blunt! Your child, your decision. Do what YOU feel is best for YOUR family. :)

Nikki - posted on 10/31/2010

35

24

1

I nurse twice a day cause my goober was eating 30min to an hour and wanting more an hour later. I had mastitis and totally raw nips and was in BAD BAD BAD pain. I was nursing 8-10 hours A DAY and my depression got bad so I decided to switch and he is SO much happier with formula! I was SO guilty and cried and cried over it but I needed to feel like a human again not a cow! He still gets his breastmilk morning and night but I'm glad I made the switch and if anyone has an issue to "heck" lol with them! You do what's best for YOU and YOUR BABY! Tell them if they knew your pain they would make the same choice!

Kerry - posted on 10/31/2010

4

33

0

its no one elses business. they have no right to tell you what is best for your own children.
I am breastfeeding my 8mth daughter and im loving it. but it not for everyone. my friends who have kids only breastfed for a month tops if at all (due to difficulties). They dont understand why i wont wean her now so i can go out on girls nights.
ultimitely its is up to you and in the end if they wont get off your back about it you might have to be rude about it

[deleted account]

Just tell them it is your decision as you are his/her mother. I wanted to breastfeed my son but only managed 6 days as my milk never came in and we only found out when he had been hospitlaised with severe jaundice and dehydration and needed 4 days of light therapy. They wanted me to express/pump some milk to tube feed him and there was nothing there! I felt guilty, still do but I'm just glad he's healthy =]

Rebekah - posted on 10/31/2010

1,508

5

195

Just an FYI: Often times after you've introduced a bottle of formula your milk supply starts to diminish and your child starts to prefer the bottle over your breast. That's not always true, but for both of my kids as soon as I started introducing formula (even one bottle a day at first), my milk supply started diminishing and I had to give more and more formula. I plan to do the same with my 3rd child, but just be aware that it can be much harder to continue nursing after formula has been introduced.

Reana - posted on 10/31/2010

29

7

1

i dont see anything wrong with it i tryed breast feeding but my lil girl wouldnt lach on proply and i had heaps of help trying but she just couldnt do it i expressed for just over a month for her then she was on the formula shes now a healthy 15 month old. i had a few people say that i should of tryed harder and did more to get her to breast feed but i tryed everything and i dont see how i could of done anymore. so dont worry about what other people say its ur baby and u now whats good and bad for them.

Renae - posted on 10/30/2010

2,209

23

154

I had every intention of combining breast and bottlefeeding and I wish I had given a bottle at day 1 (there is a 50% chance my baby would have learned to suck on the bottle before his "defencing suck reflex due to severe pain" appeared if I had). Long story that I wont go into!

You are still partially breastfeeding so you are still passing on the immunities to your baby. I know everyone is all up in arms these days about how wonderful breast feeding is, but I dont see a problem at all with partial bottle feeding.

It is only in recent times that we have decided that breast is best. Only 30 years ago breast feeding was not recommended, formula was thought to be better and colostrum was thrown away because it was useless waste from the body (like poo!). So for a whole generation people were bottle fed and it didn't hurt most of them.

You do what is right for you. Tell anyone who gives you grief to get off their soap box - that's what I would do! :)

Jayme - posted on 10/30/2010

7

19

0

My new born has been breast fed since i had her but when I went back to work I had to also buy formula to make up for what i wasn't able to pump while at work.

[deleted account]

nope just straight say MY BABY MY CHOICE and honestly there isnt any difference between a breastfed baby and a bottle fed baby and for those of you who say there is i urge you to go down to your local school and point out all the breast fed kids...i bet you cant

Melissa - posted on 10/30/2010

797

19

86

I was stricken with quilt because I had to combine because of people making such a big deal out of it....

I had no other choice breastfeeding just wasnt working my baby screamed bloddy murder and my nipples never got hard enough,TMI but, so he could barely latch on...it was just so rough so we finally went to formula exclusively...I see nothing wrong with it! Its very expencive but you do what you want and dont listen to other people....I know many ladies whom never even tried breastfeeding so to each there own right!

Chrystal - posted on 10/30/2010

419

25

47

Just politely tell them that you are MOM and you know what's best for your child.

Sarah - posted on 10/30/2010

1,499

10

39

I feel the same way as you. I only breastfed my son for about 8 weeks & even then I was supplementing with formula. Now, I'm not arguing that formula is better, BUT at the same time, my 13 month old has been healthier than all of my friend's breastfed babies. He's never had a fever & never had anything more than a stuffy/running nose once or twice. He's smart & developmentally right on track.

Anyway, with my next child, I also plan on doing a breast/bottle combination. I say you should do whatever works best for YOU & YOUR baby. People are always going to have an opinion no matter what, but in the end you have to do your own thing. I know it's hard sometimes to hear the criticism, but you are the mother and you ultimately know what's best for your child. Good luck. :)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms