I knw it's wrong but at 5wks my son sleeps in our bed, my partner hates him being in moses basket. Is this wrong?

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2009

excellent....love to see the support out there! co sleeping in our case has led to our two yr old who is happy to wander off into his own bed at night if we get too squishy for him..taa daa...independance! keep doing what you are doing....i sometimes think the more resistance we encounter, the more we should stick to our own ideas about whats right for our babies...!

Kylie - posted on 04/14/2009

100% agree with what Brenda and the rest fo the mums are saying.

If your husband and you are both happy with baby in the bed and your all getting your sleep then its working for your family and the people telling you its wrong need to back off.

Brenda - posted on 04/14/2009

It is a shame that moms feel ashamed of having their babies in bed with them, because it is the most natural and instincual thing in the world.  I do recommend safe sleep practices, as outlined by Attachment Parenting International (attachmentparenting.org) or Dr. Sears (askdrsears.com).  That being said, my older one still sleeps with us, and I have an armsreach co sleeper for the baby but I'm already making room for the baby beside me without realizing it at night.

A lot of people scare you with SIDS stuff and suffocating the baby.  The statistics on this are iffy at best because they include people who do roll onto baby that should NEVER sleep with baby, such as the very obese, heavy sleepers, smokers and drug users, and the stats also include non safe sleep surfaces such as waterbeds, futons, full blankets, and couches and chairs.  Another important note is that SIDS rates are lower in countries where co sleeping with babies are the norm.

Whatever you do, do what is best for your family NOT what others tell you is right or wrong.  If it works for you there is nothing wrong with it.  I am a very much for co sleeping because of the bond it forges early in life and leads to (contrary to what most people will tell you) a much more independent and secure child.  I highly recommend visiting the two websites I mentioned, it might shed some light on some of what you might wish to consider for your family.

Ally - posted on 04/14/2009

It's not wrong at all! our 1 year old daughter stll sleeps in bed with us every night and we are all happy healthy and most importantly..rested!

Serena - posted on 04/14/2009

I don't think it's wrong, it's whatever you want.  My son is almost 2 months and usually sleeps in his own crib, but there are some nights where he is just fussy and wants to snuggle mommy.  I do think though that once babies are a few months that they should be sleeping in their own cribs otherwise it will to be too hard to break the habit of them sleeping with you.

Melissa - posted on 04/13/2009

I did co sleep with my oldest she is now 4 and still wants to sleep with us I have tried sleeping in her bed until she fell asleep but she still wakes up through out the night and sometimes horrible nightmares so she comes in our room any advice for that ?

Lisa - posted on 04/12/2009

Not wrong at all! Both of our kids slept with us for the first four months of their lives... I slept better, they slept better.... Happiness all around!

Jessica - posted on 04/12/2009

there is nothing wrong with cosleeping.  my daughter is 6 months old now and we have been cosleeping since the beginning.  i was very nervous about having her in the bed, for safety reasons, but as long as you are careful, it's even better than having them in a crib. 

first, just make sure it's safe.  my husband is a heavy sleeper, so here's how we made sure to be safe: 1. when she was still a newborn, we bought a Boppy sleep positioner.  i like the Boppy one since it has velcro pads you can rearrange to position the baby.  this kept her in once place.  2.  once she started squirming out of the sleep positioner, we bought an extra-long guard rail so that i can sleep in the middle.  now, here's the key: we have a long Boppy body pillow that curves on both ends.  i positioned it between my daughter and the guardrail so that she's kind of boxed in by the pillow: think of the letter "C" where the opening is where i sleep.  this way, she can't squirm up or down (since the guardrail doesn't close off the entire side of the bed.  you'll want to make sure your baby is old enough to have good neck control before you do this, since newborns shouldn't be sleeping right next to a pillow.

second, even with being so cautious, i have not actually slept through the night since my daughter was born... she has, but i haven't.  but to be honest, i don't know that i'd be sleeping through the night if she was in a crib either.  i think i'd be up even more, looking at the monitor, etc.  a weird thing happens though, in cosleeping.  i'm strangely aware of everything my daughter does throughout the night.  i cannot even tell you how many times i've woken up a second before she does.  if she has a stuffy nose, (i probably sound crazy but it's true) i feel like i'm having trouble breathing.  we're so in-sync that even though i'm waking up throughout the night, i'm not 100% awake, and i can get back to sleep very easily.  if she were in a crib, i'd have to get out of bed, sit up to feed her, etc.  nighttime breastfeeding is the key.  when she wakes up, usually all it takes to get her back to sleep is a 2 minute feeding.  this can be done so easily for both baby & mom when cosleeping. 

third, anyone that chooses to cosleep should read DR SEARS' book on ATTACHMENT PARENTING.  even if you don't want to follow all of the attachment parenting philosophy, he has done probably the most research on cosleeping, so you'll find all the information you need on the studies of cosleeping, tips about safety, the benefits, etc. 

this can be really really great for the whole family.  of course, each baby and each family is different, so it doesn't fit everyone.  see what works best for you.

Greer - posted on 04/12/2009

yes i too have had my 6 week old with me in bed... however, if you or your partner/husband/the father are heavy sleeper, & or smokes, drinks or do drugs it is very unwise. And definately don't let them sleep with the grandparents, they don't have the maternal instincts of the child being there. I heard of a couple of grandparents who let their 13month old sleep in their bed when she was staying over one night, and she was smothered...one of the grandparents was even a doctor.

Sarah - posted on 04/12/2009

My baby is 10 weeks old now and has been sleeping in her crib on her own for 7 weeks now for 5-7 hrs at a time. For the first 3 weeks we had her in bed with us or in her bassinet and were trying to swaddle her but she would always get her arms out and kick off the blanket. Then one day my mom showed up with a neat blanket that has legs in it. I put her in this blanket when it is time for her bedtime feeding so that when I put her in the crib she isn't being put on a cool surface as the blanket is warm from her body heat already, then I take another light blanket or receiving blanket and tuck it under her on both sides to keep blanket on her as it is open on her front otherwise.. You might want to try this, it won't work for everyone but it works great for us. Good luck on trying to find what works for your baby.

Rebecca - posted on 04/11/2009

If the baby is in a safe environment, it is not wrong for him to be in your bed for as long as you are happy for him to be there.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for how you parent your child!

Romy - posted on 04/11/2009

i dont think its wrong, my first son slept for 8 weeks in my bed, my twins for 5 weeks, i loved it

Marsha - posted on 04/10/2009

My baby slept with me for about 3mos. For naps during the day he didn't want to sleep in his crib - only his swing. So, I started putting him in his swing next to the bed so he could still see me and feel close to me. If he fussed I could touch him and he felt secure. By 5mos he was sleeping all by himself in his crib. I think it's natural to have your baby sleep with you so don't worry about it.

Cori - posted on 04/10/2009

there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping.. i have read soo many articles and books that explain that babies are made to sleep with their mothers.. everyone scares you by saying that he will never want to sleep in his own crip etc... but my son slept with my husband and i for the first 8 weeks and was sleeping with me while my husband hasbeen gone on deployment.. he is 5 months now and i successfully got him into his crib.. i hate it. i miss having him next to me at night but he was no longer needing his night time feedings and sleeps for 9 hours at night.. thank god for video monitors.. i worry about him to much and stare at the monitor, i get less sleep now than i did when he was an infant. dont let anyone tell you co sleeping is bad, its a wonderful experience to wake up with your child next to you.. you can do it for as long as you please. besides, it prevents having another baby right away at leaste!

Savannah - posted on 04/10/2009

I have a 5 week old as well, and i have tried really hard to have her sleep in her bassinett and i have not gotten any sleep! I just recently gave in and let her sleep with us and she sleeps for much longer periods of time. My nurses in the hospital actually encouraged sleeping with the baby. He was so close to you for nine months its probably a shock to not feel you next to him. Its totally up to you and theres nothing wrong with it. :-) Hope everything gets better

Barbara - posted on 04/10/2009

I agree with the first two posts.  There is nothing wrong with bedsharing as long as you follow the guidelines (like not putting baby in the middle, keeping him away from anything that might get in his face and smother him, not sleeping with him if you are exhausted or inebriated in any way, etc.)  My parents coslept with all of us and we turned out ok, and were in our own beds in a timely manner without a big to do.

Our child is 14 months now and we have slept with him in bed with us since day one.  We have never had to worry about trying to get him to sleep through the night or weaning him off night feedings, we have never had to pace the floor with a crying baby trying to get him back in his crib, and we have pretty much always gotten plenty of sleep.  It's just so much easier to keep them in bed with you, and it seems to prevent so many potential nighttime problems.  I don't know how people get any sleep using a crib!

Emily - posted on 04/10/2009

I don't think it is wrong, I agree with what Amy wrote. My baby sleeps with us every night and I love cuddling with her. I put her in her crib for her naps during the day, so that when she is too big for all of us to be in bed together she willl feel ok in her own bed. Also, my parents always allowed my sister and me to sleep in their bed when we were young and I loved it, and didn't have any "issues" because they allowed me to do that.

Amy - posted on 04/10/2009

It's not wrong to have your baby sleep with you! North American culture definetely rushes to have babies in separate beds and rooms very early on but babies do sleep and have slept with parents all over the world for a very long time. Separate sleeping is in many ways contradictory to what a new new baby needs and wants. That being said, there are pros and cons. But your baby is only 5 weeks so I wouldn't worry about it. Whatever works for your family. I had to move my baby into his own room at a very young age because he's a noisy sleeper and I would be up all night but I miss having him close! Makes late night feeds a lot easier with them right there with you.