I'm a Teen Mom that needs HELP!

Mary - posted on 07/23/2010 ( 80 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone! I'm a new member of the Circle of Mom. I really need great mom advice from other mothers, besides my own. I am 18 years old and I have a baby that is 10 months old. This year will be my senior year of highschool. I am having a really hard time chosing whether I should attend highschool this year or instead get my GED. I have researched the GED process extensively and I learned that I can still go to college with this type of completion. I have also read that some colleges complement this achievement because it requires a tremendous amount of study and hard work. Deep down, I feel as if I need to stay home with my son... I want to be the one who takes care of him every day; I do not want any one else watching him for 10 hours out of every day. I'd really appreciate any advice. I have been contemplating this for quite some time.

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Alyssa - posted on 07/25/2010

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I am 19 years old. Had my son last year and he is 8 months now! I was having the same problem I wanted to finish my last year at my high school but they i was thinking about GED to. Well then i decided to try online school. I went through Advanced Academics. They were so amazing! It is your actual high school diploma but you just do it online. They work with you and never give you to many classes at a time. They supply the computer for you if you dont have one. They help pay for your internet if needed and also help with a printer if needed. They have teachers to talk to you on the phone or online any time of the day. I would really recomend it. You can stay home with you son and work on homeowkr when you have time like during his naps or after he heads to bed. It is super helpful. I would really look into it. it works wonders!

Marlexa - posted on 07/26/2010

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I'm a high school counselor. I would say stay in school and get your diploma. Your diploma will open more doors for you. Check with your family to see if you can get help with your child. Some high schools have alternative programs that you can attend for 4 hours a day so you can continue working towards your diploma. Stick with it! You can do it!

Sarh - posted on 07/26/2010

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I had my first child, my daughter, at the age of 16. I stayed in high school, and then went onto college. GED to me stands for Good Enough Diploma. A HSD (High School Diploma) looks much better to me. Also, day care is VERY good for babies/toddlers. It helps w/their speech, interactions w/other children, and also developmentally. Continuing high school and placing baby into a GOOD day care will be beneficial to both of you. I know exactly how you feel, I refused to go back to high school because I was nervous of someone else watching my daughter, I didn't want to miss anything, and I just don't trust people. When she was 9 months old my mom pretty much forced me into putting her in day care and going back to school, I am very glad I did so! If anything see if you can find an "Alternative High School", does not mean your a troubled student necessarily, but if you can attend one of these schools you will get a good education and maybe even be able to take 1/2 days.... Good luck! And please do not settle for a GED!

Cora - posted on 07/26/2010

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i got pregnant in my junior year.. it was hard but i did it i graduated my senior year and was very proud of myself. It was hard and there was sometimes when dezaray was sick that i didnt know if i should drop out or stay. I chose to stay, i wanted dezaray to see her mom stayed in high school and did it just like everyone and was strong enough to do it... It might be a little hard but u can do, just tell yourself that.

Sylvia - posted on 07/24/2010

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I dropped out of high school my senior year and just turned 25 and still have not got my GED. I would say stay in high school and get your deploma you will be really happy that you did and it will go by fast! Just look at it this way. If your baby one day comes to you and says mom I think I want to get my GED instead of staying in school you can say I stayed in school and raised you at the sametime!

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Savannah - posted on 04/03/2013

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Hi I'm 16 an 27 weeks pregnant. I quit going to school. Do ya'll know of any GED classes online that is free?

Madelyn - posted on 12/03/2012

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Hi ever on I'm new to this web site and I was in this other teen mom group name cafemom but derent like it so I found this on I'm 16 teen and have a baby girl that's 1 year old 1 month and I'm looking for teen moms in my area compton C.A

Tiffany - posted on 11/13/2012

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ged stands for general education diploma lol. and if you get it, it is not settling. sometimes that is the option you have and it doesnt make you less of a mom, person, student, etc

Carla - posted on 11/12/2012

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I was a teen mom myself I droped out of school and went to work to support my son and myself because I felt it was my place not my moms altho she said she would if I wanted to go back to school..Its hard to let someone else watch your child but remember this its your last year of school and altho a ged is fine its not the same as going to school going to prom and all the things that go with highschool..Take this time to finish High School and enjoy it..your son will be fine while you do it and in the long run will be better off..

Tammy - posted on 11/10/2012

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Hello Mary,

I would say stay in school, you have only one year left, make it work a GED is okay but a high school diploma is so much better, I hope my advice did not come to late, I have 7 children of my own one of them had a baby when she was 15 some schools have programs for teen mothers see if your school system has something like that for you.

Hope this helps even if you left school already you can go back.

Tammy Irizarry

Johnathans - posted on 11/09/2012

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I'm a teen mom too, I say you should finish school. Your almost there why quit now? I dropped out and got my ged and I some what regret it but I hope your smarter and stay in school so after you graduate youll spend all your time with your baby. :)

Becca - posted on 11/07/2012

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hi. i am 19 and have a 3 month old daughter. i dropped out of highschool when i got pregnant and after i had her i went back. but as i was working 2 jobs (one being nightshift) it was extremely hard and i never got to see my lil angel. i am now trying to get my GED. i am trying to spend as much time with my daughter as possible. the decision is up to you but having been through a similar type of situation i wanted you to know how difficult it is.



_becca

Makiya Karin - posted on 11/07/2012

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Hi my is Makiya and i 16weeks pregnant i was wonder ing was it possible i could get asssistance for my baby so i can buy it clothes and thing and if so how do i get the assistance

Tylyn - posted on 09/20/2012

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Hi , I am also 18 years of age and I have a 2 year old daughter. . I got pregnant in 10th grade and no matter what i decided that I was going to enjoy my last years of high school, because you only get to be a teenager once! And being that this is your senior year , you are almost there! You are almost done so why not enjoy it like any other teenager? You are going to have to get use to letting and trusting someone else to watch your child for a set amount of time other wise you will never get anything acomplished or complete. I actually put my child in daycare and she lovesssss it ! And she is getting a great education! I wouldn't have traded senior year for anything in world , bc i know one day i'll walk across that stage and i did it for my daughter. Bc one day they will have to do the same. So i say stay in high school this last year and save yourself a big head ache.

Caroline - posted on 08/22/2011

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School isn't 10 hours a day. While it is admirable that you want to spend time with your son, you're comparing that to a high school diploma. Sorry, but the diploma gets the higher priority (assuming your mom or another responsible person will be taking care of your baby). A GED is not looked at the same as a diploma. Many teen moms are able to handle both. You won't be able to be involved in after school activities, but you definitely will be more focused. Going to school will make you a better mom and a better student, which will in turn help you for the rest of your life.

Shantrell - posted on 08/03/2011

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i am 17 with the same problem. i thank you should try a online highschool program. i will be attending one called hoosier academies this year.

Heather - posted on 06/24/2011

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I hope this is somewhat helpful. I was 16 when I had my daughter and dropped out. I went back to school the following school year cuz I didnt wanna be a dropout. But it got tougher and tougher and as I got to my senior year I quit. I no it was dumb and I will forever hate I chose that but Lily had the worst sleep schedule and being alone with no help made it hard to get 3 hrs of sleep and try to get through school everyday plus homework. It was also hard with no one encouragin me and understandin. So I understand the feelin of wantin to be with your son its a wonderful thing to be with them all the time but if you could get someone that you are extremly ok with watchin him stay in school you will be so happy knowing you got your diploma in the long run. And as you get older you will encourage your son to do the same no matter what. I know thats what im gona do. I have 2 know and they both are gonna graduate and have someone to encourage them..

Samantha - posted on 06/24/2011

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Hi i was 15 when i got pregnant with my daughter i dropped out of school with plans of getting my ged once i turned 18. i am now 18 and havent gotten my ged and i am thinking of going back to school. in september i am going to see how many maturity credits i can get because i only have 9 credits if the give me enough and it will take me a year or less i will go back and get my diploma if more im gonna get my ged. id say gettin your high school would be better so if you dont have alot of credits missing go for that. i didnt go back to school because i didnt want to leave my daughter i dont see the rush they are only little once and although it is kinda depressing watchin my twin sister and my friends graduate this month i dont regret it because i would have missed so much with my daughter. maybe ill go to high school when shes in school. i know lots of people that went back to school and put there kid in daycare but im not comfortable leaving my daughter i no people that pass there kids around to babysitter to babysitter. the first time my daughter was away from me she was 15 months and she was only at my sisters and it was cause i was unpacking our new house and setting up the babygates and stuff because it wouldnt have bin save for her here yet. but if your comfortable leaving and goin back to school just try and get a stable babysitter someone your child will be comfortable with

Kimberly - posted on 06/23/2011

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HONESTLY, getting your GED may seem "easier" but if you can ~~ get your high school diploma. For some reason the GED is still looked at as some type of failure. I understand your desire to want to be the your son's main caretaker, but if you can find someone who is willing to help you so you can at least complete high school, that would be, in my view, the better option. I am not saying it will be easy, but in the long run it will be better for you and your son. Hope this helps.

Holly - posted on 04/18/2011

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Study at home for ur GED that way you know whoever is watching your baby you can watch till you trust than you can go to a quieter place to study, and depending on how many credits you have left deending on if u go back, im going back i have 2 credits left and a 5 month old :) so thers no point in a GED for me anyways. Good luck hun ♥

Brittany - posted on 04/17/2011

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Im not sure what it is called... but u can find schools that will allow u to take ur son with u... one of my old friends did this her junior year of high school... and now shes in college... if i were in ur situation... thats what i would do:)

Kenisha - posted on 07/30/2010

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I would say stay in school and get your high school diploma. Try online schools or night schools if they have that where you live. Check with your state of city there are a lot of programs to help you get your high school diploma.

Shaylee - posted on 07/30/2010

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I personally went to an OutReach High School.My son is 1yr 1/2.
I agree with Felicia,you need to feel comfortable with the care give.But there is a special feeling with Graduating with YOUR class.Plus GED is intense.Large coarse load.And OutReach schools will allow you to bring your child as long as there not screaming 24/7.So listen to yourself and listen to your son.Good luck.

Tiara - posted on 07/30/2010

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Hey. I had my son when i was in high school. i know how hard it is. I graduated early and with honors. My situation is a little different, We had a daycare center @ my school. Which one r u leaning my towards? You only have once to expeirence high school. You also have to think about how are u gonna do ur studies with the baby. I have a 10 month old and he is very busy. At the end of the day u have to do what u think is going to be best for u n ur baby!!!!!!! i wish the best of luck nd tons of success!!!!!!

Meghan - posted on 07/30/2010

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Honestly hun i think that as long as you complete High School or GED you'll be fine. I know a few girls who had kids in high school and never went back to school or got their GED the longer you wait if afraid the worse off you'll be. I agree that you need to do whats best for you AND your son. Your future is his too. My son will be 6 months and im starting college again. my fiance works full time, my soon to be inlaws work odd hours and honestly not in the best of health.. his uncle is in school and my family lives to far away, although im not happy about leaving him but i know that my degree will make his life better. My school offers daycare so (although i reallllly dont want to) i know it'll only be a couple of hours!

Amanda - posted on 07/30/2010

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i have seen so many people in my highschool class and even my family that got pregnant and said they were dropping out and getting their ged to do the same thing you are, and they never went and got the ged. i think since its your senior year you should just go with school while you got the oppourtunity available still. thank god i didnt get pregnant while i was in highschool because i would have never gotten my diploma. once you get out of school, you will be so involved with your baby that you wont want to go to ged classes.. and it will just mess you up. im not saying you will do this, you might be a very responsible person and go through with the ged after you drop out, but you have to really think about that before you do it. i think you should stick it out and go to school this last year, its senior year, the best year of highschool!!

Amanda - posted on 07/30/2010

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I ended up droping out of highschool when I got pregnant and decided I wanted to spend those first months with my daughter so two weeks after I went and got my GED it only took me two weeks and most of that was test. The studying you can do at home. Im now in college so YOU CAN DO IT!

Kelly - posted on 07/30/2010

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SWEETIE IT'S BETTER TO GRADUATE HIGHSCHOOL WITH A DIPOLMA INSTEAD OF A GED. mY LITTLE BROTHER GOT A GED AND CAN'T GET ANYWHERE JOB WISE YOUR SAFE BET IS GRADUATING WITH A DIPLOMA. i KNOW IT'S HARD TO DO WITH A BABY AND EVERYTHING BUT THAT YOUR BETTER CHOICE.

Cheryl - posted on 07/30/2010

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Well being that I have worked for some Colleges yes the GED is not a bad thing I to do stay home with my two girls and would not change that for anything but the things that you will miss the senior prom walking for graduation ... your friends I think that you should finish High School be proud being a MOM should not hender you from the things you would likke to do.. Good luck with this decision and your baby ...

Audrey - posted on 07/30/2010

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I was a teen mom too I am currently going to be 26 and now have a 5 month old baby boy. I took a mock GED test and passed everything with 12th grade level and above except math so I am seeing a tutor for it! I myself do not like anyone watching my son as young as he is. I didnt have the choice when i had my daughter I had to work a lot. What I can tell you is only you can decided on this. Whatever it is you do decide how-ever make sure you complete either or having a GED will not hold you back but never going and getting it will! good luck and feel free to message me if you need any info

Heather - posted on 07/29/2010

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I'd choose the GED, though it may be tough doing the work and study with your son right there. It will be alot of hard work but when your done it will be a great accomplishment! And you'll feel good knowing you did all that work and stayed home with your son. I totally understand how it's hard to leave your baby with someone else. I have to go back to school in the fall to upgrade and my daughter, who will be 6 months, has to be in daycare. I'm dreading it soooooooooo much! I don't want to miss anything! :(
Good luck!!!

Amanda - posted on 07/29/2010

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Mary,
First of all congratulations on your 10 month old. My son turned 10 months old today. I can't believe it! What type of college are you thinking about attending? The reason that I ask is that, at least here in Arizona, you do not actually have to have graduated high school or received a GED to enroll in a community college. Of course, from there, you could enroll in a 4 year university with little trouble. Besides that, have you thought about online high school? I know there are many of them, and you will have to do your research because I know they can sucker you and close down overnight, but that might be a viable option so you can stay home and attend high school. It will keep you out of things like prom and stuff (most likely), but so would a GED program. Just food for thought from an educator!

Hayley - posted on 07/29/2010

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One of my best friends delivered her son while she was a junior in highschool, she then couldn't finish her junior year, but returned to school that summer to get caught up and finished her senior year on time. She put her son in the high school daycare (if thats an option for you) and being away from your son for a few hours a day may be something you want to consider now, if you plan to work or further your education after high school.. the adjustment might be easier to start now... reguardless it IS possible HARD but possible and it might be reassuring for you to know that there are other moms out there just like you :) hope this helps

Heather - posted on 07/29/2010

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hi i had my daughter when i was 16 i took that year off of school basically quiting o i would have been a sophmore.. it was nice to spend time with her but when i got a job at a restaurant it was hard. it made me realize this is not wat i want to do so the next school year i went back but that was even harder. couldnt focus or get up on time for school. i tried relle hard i almost failed but then i chose to wuit again and try and ged. but either way u find urself being the babysitter no matter wat.. i love my daughter i just wish i couldve finished school like a regular teen.

Yamira - posted on 07/29/2010

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stay in high school! although you are a teen mom you still want that senior year experience! i wasnt involved my senior year but just knowing i was graduatin had a baby and going to college made it worth wild!

Renee - posted on 07/29/2010

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Welcome to circle of moms. I say if you have someone you can trust you should finish high school. Your senior year will be even more rewarding for you because now you have another reason to do well and finish. the stronger your education the stronger your childs life will be.Getting a ged is also a great accomplishment. Congratulations you sound like a great mommy already!!!

Kelsey - posted on 07/29/2010

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Complete high school the traditional way. I did correspondence my jr and sr year and it was difficult. It takes a lot of self discipline and time! Which, with having a baby you don't have much of! School will also be a good way for you to have some "mom" time away from baby. If your state has daycare assistance programs take part in them, they are made for moms like you!

Macey - posted on 07/29/2010

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Hey there, I'm 18 with a 10 month old as well. I however will be atending college next year as a freshman rather than senior year of high school. Having my daughter My senior year I still went to high school amd grauated. Yes I missed my daughter during the day but she was with a very trusted person, my mother. I loved my senior year and am so glad I missed it. I mean going through 3 years of high school all to miss your denior year.. that would blow. As long as you leave your son with someone you trust I say go back to high schoo and completeyour senior year and graduate because other wise you may regret not experiencing your senior year and everything that goes along with it. The first year of a childs life is the most important. you have been their his whole first year of life now take some time for yourself. Go to school and graduate with your class. Have some fun in your life!!! Trust me... teen moms need more breaks than the average mom and getting away for a bit to be with your friends.. even if it was at school... totally worth it!!
Good Luck!!!

Leanne - posted on 07/29/2010

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Hi, its ultimately your decision. You should apply for subsidized daycare and go back to school. There are some schools for teen moms that watch your kids. Also, the subsidized daycare will cover child care expenses for you. But dont forget its always your decision and nobody elses... GED or diploma. Both good decisions! Good luck!

Megan - posted on 07/29/2010

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Its really up to u...i got my GED and it sucks...i wish i would have went to school however i love being able to spend all my time with son...

Alyssa - posted on 07/29/2010

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There is a program that if your a signal mom and going to school or working and cant afford it they will pay for your baby to go to childcare. I think you should finish with school..

[deleted account]

Having a baby changes everything! :) And it's all for the good!! You need to finish your high school education and it doesn't matter if you achieve that by actually going to high school or getting your GED. What's important is your baby and you will forever make decisions based on what's best for him and not necessarily what's best for you. I have great memories of high school and I"m glad that I went through all that, but I if I had a baby as a teenager I'm sure my priorities would have changed and being in the high school scene would not have been so important to me anymore. Just stay focused on what's best for your child and make your decision. But you DEFINATELY need to finish school!! High School or GED, it really makes no difference as far as future opportunities (college, job, etc.). Just get it done!

Maddi - posted on 07/29/2010

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im going through the same exact thing! there may be some schools in your area that have daycares in them for free that let you see your baby in between classes and are only a few hours a day. they have one in my city that im considering going to. i know exactly how you feel i dont want anyone watching my daughter i think she'll hate me for it:( but we just have to think whats better in the long run for us. and what our babies are gonna respect us more for:) i think if you only have a year left then maybe you should try online school or an alternative school like i said. even schools that dont have daycares, there are ones that are only 4 hours long. night schools, morning, or afternoon. whichever you choose. you should really looking into these before you make your choice. and dont think bout just your baby think about the both of you! good luck

Charlotte - posted on 07/28/2010

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When you make the decision to have a baby, regardless of age or what is happening in your life at the time, you need to commit to the child 100%. Studies have shown that if you put your child into care before 2 years of age it can slow brain development.
You can go back and finish your education at any time in your life. Your son will only have one childhood, he will not be a baby much longer.. do you really want to miss out on that? Do you really want someone else raising your son for you? Especially a stranger if you put him into daycare? Go with your maternal instinct.. it's telling you to take care of your son.
Being a mother comes before everything else.
Just make sure you go back and get that education when your son is a bit older!

Ashley - posted on 07/28/2010

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i was in your same boat and trust me they will tell you all day that your GED is the same and as good as the other but its not if you can finish high school

Samantha - posted on 07/28/2010

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i am 17 and i am studying for my ged because i cant take it until i am 18, my daughter just turned one but u also have to be out of school for a year to take yr ged test. if its your last year of high school i would say do that its alot harder to go back to school once you are out, i never really went to high school i have 9 credits thats why i want my ged because for me it is much faster than going back to high school, but overall it is more what works for you and your son.

Nichole - posted on 07/28/2010

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You have to do what makes you comfortable. There are other ways to get a education. If you want to go to college there are online classes you can do that is at your pace. you can try stratford career institute. i did it.

Natasha - posted on 07/28/2010

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Hi, I am from Canada, and we don't have GED. But just a question: if you end up going back to high school do you have to stay for ten hours? we only went to school from 8 to 2:50pm and if I played my cards right I could get a spare in the morning or at the end of the day so I might go to school until like 1:20pm...meaning that I was definitely not in school ten hours per day. I think if it's best for your future, you can probably apply for subsidy and get daycare to watch him while you are at school for 6 or 7 hours. However, if it's different in the states and you are for real expected to be at school for ten hours per day, then yes, I might consider getting a high school equivalent instead. I have a lot of respect for you for making sure you get your education. It will show your baby that there are no excuses when it comes to bettering your life. Good for you :)

Whitney - posted on 07/28/2010

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I got my GED. It wasn't as hard as you think. Of course you can go to college even with a GED! And, yes, if you choose school, pick the right person to watch your child. I thought I did, but she ended up taking me to court for custody because I was being a bad mom by leaving my child with her, according to her. So, choose who keeps your child wisely. Personally, I stay home now because I feel that at home is where my children need me to be. To raise them. That is where I would rather be. It's all up to you though, everybody thinks differently. I'm not saying you would be a bad mother if you went to school. You are strong if you go to school personally I couldn't leave my kids like that now. By the way I'm 20 and have two kids.

[deleted account]

I agree that online classes to get your diploma is a great route for you, since you want to be home with your baby. The GED will not hold you back from jobs or college, they just want you to complete a program. If you get your GED now, then you can start college right away, instead of another year in high school. This is a choice you have to make for yourself and your family. But you should NEVER feel bad for either, at least you did something, better than just dropping out and never finishing at all. Also take advantage of help from the government, that's what it's there for, people like you trying to better themselves. There is food stamps, WIC, and the Pell Grant for college. You have lots of options, your local Department of Human Services can help lead you in the direction that is best for you. Good luck, and stay strong, school is the best route for you and your baby!

Jessi - posted on 07/28/2010

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I got pregnant at 19 in the military, was honorably discharged and had my son 1mo after i turned 20 so i wasn't in the same situation as you; however i do have a friend 1yr younger than me who had gotten pregnant her junior year and the baby was born right before she went back for her senior year. she and the father (who was 1yr younger than her) both graduated high school and now have 2 beautiful children and are engaged to be married. he works and she is a sahm.
just think how your son would feel if he knew you dropped out of school because of him. if your family wants you to finish school and they are willing to help as much as they can THEN DO IT!
my parents were very upset when they found out i was pregnant and getting discharged but they let me come back home (b/c the father is a dead-beat). i went back to work when my son was 4mos and now am going back to school to get my associates degree of applied science in veterinary technology.

YOUR SON WILL BE VERY PROUD TO KNOW YOU WERE ABLE TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL WHILE RAISING HIM! it will teach him to never settle for less.

Sammie - posted on 07/28/2010

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I didnt have my son till I was 20, but this fall Im finally getting back into college and its still hard for me to leave him and hes almost 20 months.. Im a stay at home mom.. I have known a few people that dropd out of high school to get their GED after they have had a baby, but with all the work and stress of being a mom they never had time to do it. A high school diploma looks better for getting a job and stuff like that. If you choose to go with the GED just make sure your ready for it and commit to it. I understand you dont want to leave your son with anyone, I dont really trust people or daycares just some close family. and you do miss a lot being gone every day..
GOOD LUCK!

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