Im tired of being called Crazy..

Topaz - posted on 08/11/2009 ( 37 moms have responded )

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I had a completely 100% natural birth.. no pain meds, no epidural... I delivered a 9lb baby girl....3 months later I am still getting "you are crazy!" and other remarks i will not repost... I am happy with the decision that I made, but I am tired of being called CRAZY! How can I tell people, IN A NICE WAY that I delivered my daughter the way God intended it to be without being rude or a total B***H about it?!

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Joy - posted on 08/17/2009

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You are crazy....BUT I mean in a TOTALLY awestruck way! I had a very fast delivery (3-10cm in 1.5 hours) and once I hit 8 cm I couldn't take it anymore. I would have loved to be able to deliver 100% natural the whole way, especially because I did make it so far. Kudos to you...and take it as a compliment! You a strong woman!!!

Nancy - posted on 08/17/2009

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i would just ignore it.. U made the decision u wanted to... and all the power to u cause I couldn't handle the contractions and i know if i couldn't handle those then I couldn't handle pushing my son out without drugs... I think u did what was best for ur daughter. don't worry about what others say okay

Candis - posted on 08/17/2009

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I also had a 9lb baby boy and I did my labour and deliver natural! I am from Nova Scotia Canada and I found that even the nurses in the hospital were very pushy with drugs. The first thing they would ask me when they came in the room was do you need anything for pain, even though we said I was going to try and do everything as natural as possible. I finally got admitted to the hospital and only had one nurse the remainder of my labour and she was great I didn't even see much of her because she said I was doing so well on my own. I get the " ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!" comment a lot as well, and I agree its just because they probably couldn't picture doing it themselves without the meds! Feel proud that you had the strength and will power to do it natural, and take it as a compliment that they think you are crazy!

Kimberly - posted on 08/17/2009

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I delivered my first child the same way and dealt with some of the same issues. I just finally started telling people that we all have free choice to make our own decisions and they aren't the ones that went thru it, so why should they care. I then would remind them, nicely, that I am sure that they have made some decisions in their life that not everyone agreed with, but it was their choice to make....that usually shut them up. :)

Britni - posted on 08/16/2009

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I give you all the props in the world.... I could never do it with out meds... it hurt way to bad... and I dont tollerate pain very well if at all... My friend did it without pain meds too she said it hurt but was tooo scared to have an epidural... i think moms who do it with no meds are brave and yes when they say your crazy its because they cant see themselves ever doing it... not that your actually crazy, or anything... just dont get mad about it and dont let it bother you....

Meghan - posted on 08/16/2009

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GOOD FOR YOU!!! I wanted to have an all natural birth but I ended up with back labor so intense I had to go for the epidural. (I ended up with a c-section) my next one I definately intend to go natural. I got a lot of "your crazy" comments when I was pregnant. I just told everyone people had been doin it for years without drugs why can't I?

Isabel - posted on 08/16/2009

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well done you. you are NOT carzy at all as you say you did it the way women have been doing it for thousands of years - what is crazy about that? i think it is more crazy to pump your body full of drugs to numb the sensation - whats the point in having a baby if you dont feel it? even worse some of the drugs go to your baby, so you have a drugged baby??? now that is crazy!!! i also had a natural birth only assisted by a little gas and air which i actually stopped using as it was making me spin out and i couldn't concentrate on what i was doing. i am so glad that i did it without drugs because i can actually recall what happened - not clearly maybe because the pain has obviously drowned some of the memory out but i remember the whole experience and am pleased about that. i would tell people that if cave women and the like did it without drugs why shouldn't modern women? x

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People have been delivering for years with out pain medication. I had the meds, but it is possible and completely normal to do it without the drugs. Its every woman's choice. It doesn't make you crazy just because you made that choice. I would kindly remind them that women didn't always have that option and its the most natural thing on earth.

Shahala - posted on 08/15/2009

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You know what, I completely understand. I wanted no intervention with my 3rd daughter, I wasnt given a choice about 8 hrs after my water broke and no contractions. When I expressed my desire to people about having a "natural" birth I got the same kinds of responses. BUT when someone says "youre crazy" just say "thank you" or "yea I know"

[deleted account]

I would just tell people they are crazy for wanting drugs. I had wanted to go natural, but my son was frank breech and I had to have a c-section. The spinal was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.

Toni - posted on 08/15/2009

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I agree with the others, people say that because they are amazed by your courage and strength, it may not be the best way to say it, but some people just say what comes to mind first. And to some people- doin birth the natural way- experiencing that is just crazy. Im sure they wont mean your crazy-insane crazy. just tell them it is one of the best choices youve made in your life, and it makes you feel true to yourself, and you wouldnt have wanted it any other way. I think people are just curious and inspired by your story.

Sarah - posted on 08/15/2009

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sorry but why the hell does that make you crazy .. strange people??

my birth went they same way .. i planned on having pain meds but in reality i didn't have enough time .. i've heard people say omg how did you cope?? .. but you just do.

so huni just ignore them .. you must be a lot braver than them if yopu managed without drugs.

just be proud of yourself for being able to it 100% natural .. i look at my son and still can't believe that i did it all by myself either.

Melanie - posted on 08/14/2009

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It sounds to me as if for your society it should be a compliment, that most women have come to expect some sort of chemical intervention or assistance as a 'normal' part of child birth. The reality is that for most of the worlds women what you experienced was not only natural but completely 'normal'.
If I were you I just would not dwell on that aspect of the experience, when you relate your birth story dwell more on what it ment to you, how the experience has added to your life: how much more aware you are now of not just what the human body and psyche can endure but how much you as an individual are capable of. YOu, created life and brought it into the world through your own will and determination, it is for this reason that in so many cultures childbirth is one of the pivital steps in the progress from girl-womanhood. Because it teaches us how strong we truly are when we face the rest of life's challenges.

Rayna - posted on 08/14/2009

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Just tell them to lay off the judgment. If they're so bold as to judge you insane, maybe they need to be put back in place? It'll feel good and send a very clear message that they need to mind their own business!

[deleted account]

Topaz, when I first read your post my instant reaction was "you're crazy", but not in a bad way. I am in awe. That is not only commendable, but you deserve a freakin' gold medal!!! I had wanted to go natural as well, but having been induced (both times) the pain was more than I could bear so I opted for an epi.
If someone says, "you're crazy", it's because they cannot imagine the fortitude it took to do such a thing. It would be nicer if they were to say "you've not only got guts, but you're a full on super woman!" or "Gee, I wish I were that tough"... but the instant reaction is the "crazy" comment. I doubt that anyone actually meant it in a negative way. Well, I didn't anyway.
My jaw is still on the floor and my hat's off to you!

Sara - posted on 08/13/2009

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I went drug-free too, although I am not anti-drug. I attribute my ability to have done it to two major things: Knowledge and confidence. If I walked in to a room to take the most important test in my life without having studied, I'd be petrified. So many of us hear the worst-case scenarios, and so rarely do we hear details about the complex (and amazing!) set of chemical and physical processes that our bodies go through during delivery. If no one ever tells you that your body actually produces it's own pain management chemicals during a normal delivery, it's more difficult to realize that you CAN actually do it. I think fear and lack of knowledge greatly contributes to pain response and hampers our ability to work with the contractions instead of against them. So when people comment on my natural delivery, I say I prepared, kept an open mind, and tried to work with my body.

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I did the natural birth with my son also. With my daughter, I had an epidural, and had to have medicine to speed up my heart because my heart rate dropped way too low. I didn't like the experience, and figured women gave birth naturally for centuries and survived, and I could too. I'm glad I did it without the drugs the second time. My little guy was just under 9 lbs. I get a lot of astonishment too. I think it's just not something people think they can handle. Movies do a good job of portraying birth as this huge painful scary event. I shock everyone because I barely make any noise or put up any fuss. Birth is different for everyone, so most people are just curious on what it is like for others.

Katarina - posted on 08/13/2009

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YOU'RE NOT CRAZY! I had one shot of morphine with my son, but gave birth naturally. Next time I won't be taking anything. 6lbs 12oz

Kelly - posted on 08/13/2009

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id class that as a compliment hun because your very brave goin through labour without any pain relief x

[deleted account]

oh, that's a tough one! although i didn't have pain meds for the first 24 hours of labor, i eventually did get an epidural (i ended up having to b/c i was a c-section after 35 hours of labor). however, i was planning on getting an epidural either way. but you're not crazy. most of the babies that come into this word are born just the way you did it- all natural, no pain meds. it's kind of the way people have been doing it for a LONG time!

Zojoho - posted on 08/13/2009

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I gave birth to all 3 of my babies naturally and without pain meds. I guess that makes me "crazy" tooo. LOL
Pffttt..you're not crazy Hun, you are one hellova strong Mum and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Just brush off their stupid comments..think nothing more of it.

Topaz - posted on 08/13/2009

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thanks ladies! Ive been able to handle this alot more thanks to your suggestions! :) I am no longer a complete you know what when someone calls me crazy! lol

Erin - posted on 08/13/2009

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Congrats to you and who cares what others think...they only wish they could have that much control over their pain tolerance. I had a 9lb 8oz boy, delivered vaginally; I made it to 6cm and pretty intense labor pains, but when the labor pains hit my back I couldn't control the pain anymore and got the epideral.

Props to you...YOU GO GIRL!!

Jodie - posted on 08/13/2009

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i have four kids and with everyone of them i had pain meds and the epidural..... with my last i didnt really want it but i took it anyways, i dont think your crazy hey if you can take the pain then you are one strong momma, i give you props. just tell them look i dont see myself crazy thats what my birth plan was and thats the way it happened, their probly just supprised cause of how much pain it is to have a child.

Sarah - posted on 08/12/2009

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i too was called crazy when i told people that i had my babies natural. for me natural was no epidural or no c section. i did have pain medication with my last two kids but that medicine only took the edge off, it didnt stop the pain. so when people ask me, i get that "omg your crazy" comment and i just say well it worked for me. some of these same people then look at me like i should still be laying flat in a bed somewhere...i was up and doing errands a few days later cause the rent had to be paid whether i was in bed or not.



you had your baby the way that was best for YOU. who knows what may happen the next time..maybe you will have an epiural or maybe not. maybe it will be a c section, maybe not.. you will decide then whats best for THAT birth. you would think that women who have gone through labor would stick together and not diss each other just cause one has done natural or not, c section or not...sometimes these things get taken out of our control and theres nothing we can do about it. to make a mom feel bad because of the way her kids were born is crazy not women in general. my 1st was born at home no meds, the last two were both induced and i had the pain medicine when i felt like i needed it.

Topaz - posted on 08/12/2009

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thanks ladies!!!! i appreciate your quick responses! :) i was to the point of getting rude with everyone who wanted to hear my birth story, but now Ill use some of ya'lls advice! Thanks again!

Kerri - posted on 08/12/2009

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A job well done l would say! Ignore what other peoples opinions are, after all its only their opinion. Don't let their opinons make you feel inadequate. Obviously you and baby are very well, ask them how they think kids are born in third world countries with no hospitals!!!!

Kylie - posted on 08/12/2009

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Good on ya for doing it the way you wanted to. Some people don't understand that. Others may not have had a choice. I had to have an Epidural, cause my daughter was posterior, and I was sooo scared that if I had the pain killers it might lead to instruments. In the long run though, I'm glad I did it with the meds. Don't hold it against them, as you will probably hear those sort of comments every time you talk about it. The best thing to do is just smile and agree, cause you know in your heart you did what was best for you :)

Jocelyn - posted on 08/11/2009

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just flat out tell them "well that's the way god meant it to be" ...you'll probably get a response that consists of a "thinking" look and then an "ahhh, good point" lol
i'm going for an all natural birth this time as well!

Denise - posted on 08/11/2009

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It is a completely personal thing for a woman to give birth. Be proud of how you chose to deliver your baby and let others think what they want. I too delivered both my daughters naturally without drugs and am very proud of that accomplishment. I do have to say though that most people I talk to are impressed by that and respect that I was able to get through it without any need for meds. People will always have opinions, just try not to let their opinion overshadow yours.

Minnie - posted on 08/11/2009

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I'd just say "whatever, I loved it!" (which I did- all natural, no pain meds, home waterbirth).

Hanna - posted on 08/11/2009

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it is very commendable, what you did so don't take it as a negative thing. people are just scared because your daughter was big. i wish i could have done what you did, but the doctor didn't let me to go into labor because my cervix wasn't opening up and was very posterior so they couldn't induce me. long story short -- i was all pro-natural birth with no meds & at almost week 42 had to get a planned c-section (the decision was ok come in tomorrow morning by 10 so that we can get you on the table by 12). and my son was only 4 oz heavier than your daughter, so it's definitely not an easy task. so just try to enjoy it, laugh at it or if it makes you feel better, you did something that most women can't or are too chicken to do. Congratulations to you and keep your head up high you did a heck of a job!

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I have to tell you honestly that I had an epidural before I even felt the first contraction. I was obviously induced. BUT, in retrospect I wish I had waited longer to get the epidural for a few reasons. (not important to this conversation! lol) The truth is having a baby naturally is extremely frightening for a lot of women..I agree completely with Candice, it scares the crap out of them, and I was one of those women! I think that if I were in your position, I would politely say "I'm not crazy, just strong and amazing!"



I wish I had your strength!

Lynlee - posted on 08/11/2009

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I did it completely natural as well but I've never had someone call me crazy! Perhaps you could counter with calling them crazy for wanting to use drugs?

Heather - posted on 08/11/2009

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I give you props! I wanted to have my daughter 100% natural too, but once I got to about 7cm I just couldn't keep myself under control enough to breathe and focus anymore. So I got the epidural. My daughter was 9.9 lbs. I don't regret doing what I did, because it helped me be in more control of my body. But seriously, two thumbs way up to you! You should feel proud that you were able to keep yourself focused and controlled enough to do it! I would just tell them it may be crazy in their eyes, but it was the best decision of your life. Congrats again!!

Candice - posted on 08/11/2009

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take it as a compliment. people say it because the idea of doing it themselves scares the crap out of them. i can't IMAGINE having done it without meds. you can't change how people act, but you can change how you react...so react with a smile and a "YEP! I'M NUTS I GUESS! millions of women have done it without meds for centuries, guess they're all crazy too!"

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