In search of support system

Kimberly - posted on 05/15/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Hello all, I am a wife and mother of a 3 1/2 month old who could use friendship and support.

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Sandra - posted on 05/18/2010

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Yes, I remember when my highlights for the day were keeping track of her feedings and pooping and sleep schedule. Easy to go a little stir crazy! And, the surge of hormones and your body going through the biggest metabolic change it ever will effects us for months after giving birth. Make sure to get some breaks if you can. Even 15 minutes helped me regroup. A trip to the store, a swim, anything that allows you some time. If I didn't have breaks, I'd probably find the first year much more difficult. And, husbands really don't get it unless they have done full days and night feedings! PLus, it is hard getting anything done around the house! Hang in there! Yes, support is very important!

Amanda - posted on 05/18/2010

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hello! my sons 6 weeks old, first on for me so i totally understand, your actually way ahead of me lol! we can all use some support!

Maria - posted on 05/18/2010

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Hi Kimberly,
I have a few suggestions for you. You might want to contact your local hospital.. where you had your baby... and ask if they have a new moms' support group. (If not, can they refer you to one in your area.) I joined one when my daughter was a few months old. We got together on a weekly basis and talked about everything.. sleepless nights, breast feeding, formula, husbands, you name it...Most of the other moms are stay at home moms. I'm not. but we have stayed in touch and gotten together during the last two years for playdates.
There is also MOPS.. mothers of preschoolers.. www.mops.org It is Christian based but it is for moms who need support. They usually meet twice a month. Once for a topic and the other to do a craft. There is usually child care available. If you go to that website you can look up a MOPS group in your area. I belong to a MOPS group and the children range in ages from babies to toddlers to preschoolers.
There's also Moms Club.. for stay at home moms... www.momsclub.org You can search for a local group.
Hope this helps! I know how lonely it can be.

Virginia - posted on 05/17/2010

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Hi, my son is a little over 5 months and I have been back to work since the middle of March. When I was home, I felt the same things that a lot of you are describing - lonliness, fatigue, etc. but it does get better. When i was home with the baby, my city got 70 in of snow during the winter so I was literally cooped up in the house and physically not able to get past my front door. In order to get past the feelings of being trapped in my house, I would set small goals for myself each day - like, get a shower before noon, check my personal email/send 1 email to a friend.. It actually made me feel like I accomplished something.

You can connect with me too. I know that it is so difficult at first.

Kimberly - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hey everyone...I am trying to add you on facebook. It would be so much easier to do what Alyssia was talking about by sending all of you a message on facebook!! If I haven't sent you a friend request, it's because I cannot find your profile. My profile name is Kimberly Meeks Truett. Look me up and add me!! :)

Alyssia - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hey Girls, So I was thinking I really want us to get more than just support outta this! I want us to motivate eachother! Now forgive me because i am far from a motivational speaker so I dont intend to sound corny or whatever, I just wanted to try out an idea! Like I said before I have found alot of joy in taking walks, especially at parks and stuff, I also enjoy taking pictures on my walks of things I think are beautiful! That said we should each think of something simple, outside of the house, that we would personally enjoy! (or even something someone else recommends, If you find yourself not interested in anything.) And challenge yourself to go and do that before the week is up! (Keep it simple we all have babies so dont set yourself up for disappointment.) And then make a point to post what you did, if your child was with you, If you enjoyed it...etc. We should do this every week, fsharing ideas making this a place for motivation! and support, Each week someone can suggest a challenge or the amount of them, you get the picture! And to top it off we are here to support eachother so if you dont have ideas, ask for help! If you didnt get outta the house, tell us why! Lets really get something posetive out of our little group here! Im going to start this off by daring each person to post something they did, outside of the house! By Friday! I think it will make for great communication, if you guys think im crazy feel free to tell me but I hope you are with me here! lol

Janie - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hi from Canada,

My son is 15 months now but I remember the lack of sleep and motivation... that you describe. Big life changes like you said, you also could have some post partum depression and it isn't as easy as just dressing up to shake. The lack of sleep also makes people more prone to it. I went through it and once I started medication and to talk about my feelings with others and reached out, its amazing how many Mothers can relate. So keep reaching out, socialize and some walking and sun is good. Make a movie date with a old friend or something. Feel free to contact me on facebook if you want to talk further.Good luck and enjoy your baby too.

Megan - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hi ladies!
My name is megan i live in illinois. I am a first time mom i just had my little girl on april 16th. Aundrea is a month old today. I know how you guys are feeling right now im not working im home alone all day with our baby girl and it would be nice to have some mom friends. I have one close friend that also became a mom just a couple of months before me but other than that all my friends have stopped talking to me. I am going through the whole baby blues thing so i understand the motivation problems. I dont really do anything besides take care of our daughter and my bf doesn't understand why im feeling down it would be nice to have a day out by myself withough my daughter as horrible as that makes me sound. Or even some adult conversation i would settle for that too. I would like to have more mommy friends to talk to plz feel free to add me here or on facebook.

Jackie - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hello Ladies, I'm Jacqueline and I live in NC. I have a wonderful 9 month old daughter who is the light of my life. I am currently a stay at home mom who is also looking for friendship and support. Husbands are great but they don't truely know what your feeling or going through.. You can add me as well on facebook if you would like jaqsanders79@hotmail.com or email me here or at the above email address

Keri - posted on 05/16/2010

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hi,
my daughter is 4 1/2 months old and i know what you mean
friendship and support from other women you know have gone through the same things as recently is good.
you can add me on facebook if you'd like
batistadiva77@hotmail.com

Kimberly - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hey Alyssia, I wanted to thank you for talking with me. It helps to know I am not alone.

Kimberly - posted on 05/15/2010

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Oh I know!!! My doctor told me when I am feeling down to get up move around get all dressed up and do absolutely anything that will lift my spirits. That seems rather pointless because I am still very lonely and none of that helps too much. I have searched for support groups near my area but there really aren't any. It's hard trying to cope with all of the emotions I am dealing with. I also feel cooped up and am too tired most of the time to do anything. Like today, I was going to go to the grocery store but lacked the motivation to do so. It's really hard...

Alyssia - posted on 05/15/2010

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I know what you mean! I dont have anyone watching my daughter during the day but I am up with her every few hours at night and have a rough time finding motivation to do anything other than take care of her! I mean I am no where near neglecting her and I love every moment with her! but baby talk isnt gonna cut it always! I lost most all y friends when i got pregnant though and the ones that are left their kids are just getting old enough that they want to enjoy the freedom without diapers and breast feeding! Making me feel alittle like a hassle to bring along! My lifestyle was so diffrent before my little girl! I was very active I love hiking and the outdoors even riding quads and camping, those things seem kinda far from reality at htis point and its kinda depressing, I know she wont be an infant forever but it dosent stop the fact that our friends ditching you when you need them the most from sucking really bad!!! And thats what i think makes me want to say, well why get outta bed??? I recently started grabbing the stroller and forcing myself to go on walks, figuring if nobody wants to go with ma at least I hvae my daughter! It seems to be helping but honestly the first week or two was rough, It seems so esy to talk myself into staying in the house and playin with the baby! But we have to find away out of the house!

Kimberly - posted on 05/15/2010

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Hey Alyssia,

I totally understand...my husband is wonderful but doesn't understand what I am going through,and I can't blame him for it but it's still hard. Life has changed so much since having a baby and I guess the changes are still growing on me. I stay up most of the night with my son and then sleep pretty much all day while he is with my mother. I have no me time and pretty much no one to relate to. It makes me sad!!

Alyssia - posted on 05/15/2010

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Hi Kimberly I am the mother aof a 3 month old and I am also currently a stay at home mom! Kinda jumped on here looking for the same thing. Is this your first child? Im new to all this and have been finding it hard to hold down friendships with a baby on board! But cant talk baby talk all day long! lol! My man is great but being a man dosent really get it...Ya know?

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